Chapter 7: Chapter 7. Papillons
During the five days of the competition, Li Li was out early and returned late every day, practicing the piano at the Music Academy of North Texas University. Teacher Dan, Teacher Chen, and Teacher Zhou were all busy with teaching, so the teachers obviously didn't have time to manage my daily schedule. Therefore, my study tour for the competition became a journey of freedom.
After breakfast with Yan Feng, we would spend each day in Li Li's practice room until 2 PM. During lunch, we would help the teachers and Li Li get their lunch. In the afternoon, another volunteer would join us to communicate with the competition organizers about the competition schedule. After dinner, we would return to the practice room to watch senior students practice the piano and listen to the teachers' instructions. In the evening, we would eat at a restaurant near the music hall. Sometimes, competitors from the competition would greet each other and then sit together to chat about topics like hometown food, American highways, and weather in different countries. I always found it hard to join the conversation because my English was not very good at that time. When Yan Feng spoke enthusiastically, he would never forget to translate each sentence for me. Honestly, besides food, I was not interested in these topics. I always felt tired of these irrelevant conversations, even though everyone talked endlessly, they remained silent about music, as if there was a reserved defense. Such conversations, avoiding the important and focusing on the trivial, became more and more common in my life.
Yan Feng was adept at navigating through these conversations. His face was bright and spirited, and his speech was enthusiastic yet courteous. Even if there were personal emotions, they were only briefly unnoticed by others, thanks to his upbringing. This was a talent that I lacked, a trait I couldn't resist. Sometimes, when I remained silent, Yan Feng seemed to sense it and would privately ask about my well-being.
"What are you thinking about? You seem lost in thought, acting older than your age," he said while cutting the steak. "Ah, not thinking about much, brother. It's just that you guys speak English too fast, and I can't keep up sometimes." "Why are you calling me 'brother' again? Just last night, you were bossing me around to get you bottled water." "Haha, no, it's just that these days I've been running errands every day, and studying during the day and night is quite exhausting." "Indeed. How about we skip going to the practice room to watch Li Li practice tonight?" Just as Yan Feng finished saying this, he turned to Teacher Dan sitting next to him and said, "Teacher Dan, Xixi and I won't go to the practice room tonight." Before I could respond, Teacher Dan said, "Alright, you've been working hard these days. Yan Feng, take care of Xixi, and make sure to return to the hotel early for rest." "Don't you dare kidnap Xixi. Haha," Li Li popped his head from the back seat. "Alrighty, don't worry, just kidnapping for one night," Yan Feng replied with a laugh. "Be careful, and if anything happens, call Sister for help," Li Li said with a mischievous smile.
"No problem, we won't stay out too late tonight. We'll be back at the hotel in two hours, and the practice room is just a 5-minute walk from there," Teacher Chen reassured Teacher Dan and Li Li. "Besides, they've been working hard these days, so it's good for them to go back to the hotel and rest early."
Yan Feng smiled at the teachers and senior sister, nodded several times, then leaned over to my ear and said, "You promised to play the piano for me." "Okay, brother," I felt a bit embarrassed but had no choice but to agree. "Calling me 'brother' again," he frowned slightly, but the smile remained on his face. "Okay, Yan Feng," I said.
After finishing dinner, the participants went back to practice, and the teachers went to observe. Only Yan Feng and I remained in the restaurant. We finished our drinks and left the restaurant.
"Let's go to Room 330 for piano practice." "Sure."
In the practice room, Yan Feng found a folding chair, sitting obediently against the wall. Despite being six years older than me, he displayed a sense of reverence in his expression when I took my seat on the piano stool. He seemed incredibly well-behaved, as if I were his elder, and it made me nervous. After adjusting my posture and finding the perfect starting point, just like determining the ideal mealtime, I placed my hands on the piano keys. The piece started in the key of F major, with the left hand beginning on D, entering the sequence of the first section, followed by the first dance of the mini-suite.
For some reason, I naturally thought of Schumann's "Papillons," Op. 2, as I played. Although I had been observing and learning every day, my own piano practice was limited to the four hours after lunch each afternoon. The teachers advised that performance technique was one aspect, and for these few days, I shouldn't practice for too long each day. I needed to learn to occasionally pause, reflect, and after helping them get their lunch, go watch senior students practice the piano and listen to the teachers' lectures.
At this moment, it seemed like I understood the teachers' intentions. As I touched the keys, progress emerged from these days of listening. Undoubtedly, sensitivity to the piece arose from the contrasts. I played this three-beat piece with an unprecedented lightness, and the butterflies in my heart fluttered along.
As the piece concluded, I slowly stood up and turned to see Yan Feng sitting on the folding chair. His arms were crossed, right hand resting on the left, one hand supporting his cheek, head slightly lowered, with hair falling in front of his eyes. He slowly raised his head, gazing at me with a look I could remember for a lifetime – a sea of stars flooding over a tranquil night sea, deep and serene. This lasted for about ten seconds, or perhaps even longer, before I spoke, "I've finished playing."
"Xixi, you're a genius." He tilted his head slightly as he raised it, and the right corner of his mouth suddenly lifted. The serene and profound night sea instantly became bright, but still remained unfathomable.
"Senior sister is even more amazing."
"Li Li can get first place, you don't need to. "
"What do you mean?"
"It means you're the best, haha." Yan Feng laughed heartily. "Let's go, little brother, I'll take you for pizza."
"Then I want to get first place too." I felt a bit annoyed, walked closer to Yan Feng, and adopted a domineering stance. As I approached him, I was barely taller than him by a head. The light above cast a shadow on his eyelashes, extending onto his lips, with shades of light and dark.
"Hahaha, you will always be the first, at least in my eyes." Yan Feng stood up, one arm wrapped around my shoulder, now towering over me by a head. "Let's go, I'll treat you to pizza."
"I don't want pizza, I want KFC."
"Alright, alright, you can have whatever you want."
He walked with his arm around my shoulder, as if kidnapping me. I could sense his joy after I finished playing "Papillons." On the way to KFC, he occasionally hummed some tunes, smiling at the corner of his mouth, his eyes twinkling.
"Xixi, I have a younger brother, nine years younger than me. He's as cute and smart as you, but he doesn't play the piano." He paused for a moment. "Do you have siblings?"
"I don't have any, I'm the only child in my family," I said, feeling a bit curious. "What does it feel like to have siblings?"
"Ah, it seems like many children on the mainland don't have siblings. Li Li is the same. That's really fortunate. Haha, just kidding." Yan Feng briefly showed a hint of melancholy, then covered it up with a hearty laugh. "I have a younger brother and an older brother. We occasionally fight, but most of the time, we play together."
"I envy you. Having a younger brother and an older brother, you must never feel lonely."
"No problem, just consider me your older brother. I'll brag about having a genius little brother like you anytime," he lowered his hand from my shoulder and patted my head. "What I meant earlier is that being the first in the world doesn't matter to you because you belong to God. When you play the piano, you're like an angel, just like the male protagonist The Sky over Berlin. Although he's very old, it's a similar idea."
"What is Berlin?" I hadn't seen him so serious in these few days. Although I didn't quite understand what he said, I knew he was praising me. I struggled to find a sentence to respond to him.
"It's the capital of a country next to the Netherlands, where you've been." "Oh, Berlin is in Europe. I see. I must visit it in the future." "You will. You belong to this world. Keep going, I believe you will become a great pianist." "Thank you, Yan Feng brother." "Haha, calling me 'brother' occasionally feels nice." He said, walking into the nearby KFC. As he entered, he turned back and asked, "What do you want to eat?" "Just Nuggets," I said. "I ate a lot in the evening, and I'm not very hungry now." "Alright."
"Let's eat at the hotel." Yan Feng walked over from KFC, holding a bottle of cola and a bag of fried chicken. "Teacher Dan and the others should have gone back. If we're any later, they might start worrying."
"Sure, let's go."
As we reached the hotel entrance, we encountered Teacher Dan's group. Yan Feng hid the KFC in his backpack, exchanged some playful banter, and said a few friendly words.
"You're back just now," Li Li remarked with a hint of mischief.
"Yeah, I just accompanied Xixi for some piano practice," Yan Feng replied.
"Oh, rest early. Tomorrow is the finals, and I don't want to have a bad sleep. Are you two resting well?"
"It's okay. This little guy snores occasionally, but it's bearable."
I blushed instantly, unsure of what to say.
"Hahaha, then you should sleep early. Goodnight, Alex, Xixi." Li Li bid us goodnight, then turned to Teacher Dan, Teacher Chen, and Teacher Zhou, "Teachers, take a rest early. See you at 7:00 tomorrow morning."
While Yan Feng took out the recently bought fried chicken from his bag, he said, "Luckily, I was quick, or we'd have been scolded by the teachers."
"Why did you have to say I snore?"
"It's just funny, I find it cute."
"That's my privacy. Speaking like that makes me very uncomfortable." I don't know why, but every time I'm with Yan Feng, I'm very adept at expressing my feelings.
"Okay, sorry. Come, have a nugget." Yan Feng handed me a piece of chicken.
"I don't want to eat." I was still a bit angry.
"Come on, have it."
I lightly clenched my fist and gave him a gentle punch in the stomach. He pretended it hurt, falling onto the bed. I hesitated for a moment, then walked to the bedside. Suddenly, he grabbed me and rolled me onto the bed, using his hands to press down on my shoulders. My collarbone felt a bit sore, and my body trembled slightly. Then, he suddenly let go. I didn't feel very angry and sat up at the edge of the bed.
I don't like others touching my body, but Yan Feng's touch made me feel a hint of curious intimacy. In the initial contact, I always felt like it was compensating for the lack of a brother. I regarded this feeling as similar to the attachment one might have to a mother.
The elevation of male friendship often involves a fight. This was our first "fight." Later, when people asked him how we met after he became famous, he joked, "We fought." Only then did I realize that his awareness surpassed mine. Of course, at that time, I was only ten years old, and for a ten-year-old boy, everything was just beginning to take shape.
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