Chapter 6: Chapter 5: Half-face pignut!
I woke up feeling like it's Friday. There's nothing more heartbreaking than you think it is, but in reality, it's still Wednesday. There's still nothing good about Wednesday, apparently. Andy is still the epitome of winter, as usual. Their study session with Jodie is still ongoing, as usual. And I'm still pretty, as usual. I don't know when she is planning to end it, to be honest. I thought she'd had enough of oddball Jodie, especially to what happened yesterday.
We went home together with Jodie. We were walking along the road and out of nowhere she asksㅡ "Why do the crossings beep?" And I answered, "Apparently, for blind people." She continued, "But blind people can't drive?"
I was speechless again. I don't have to look at Andy if she's speechless or not, it's a no-brainer. I think Jodie is the only person who can make Andy and I think for a moment, and then we'll try to decipher if what she said makes sense or not. I mean Jodie got a point there, half of the people on the roads are blind anyways... and the other half are clueless.
I sent a text to Andy asking how long we are going to hang out with Jodie. I don't have anything against her. To be honest, I kinda like her, and her unique way of thinking. Andy just repliedㅡ"." She sent me a dot (.) as a response.
Andy and her indecipherable codes.
You see, Andy is the odd one here. I know for a fact how picky Andy is when it comes to the people she wants to be friends with. The only reason that we're still together is that she said ㅡ "It's hard to get rid of you." She was being sarcastic, but I took it as a compliment. That just means, I'm the only person Andy can't handle and control *flips hair*.
I can still remember that boy who wanted to be friends with her back in kindergarten. The boy wanted to give her a flower as a form of affection. Do you know what she said to the boy? Take a guess. She said ㅡ "Away, you three-inch fool." Classic Andy, I know. Andy didn't say that out of hate, you guys. You see, she is allergic to pollen, and giving flowers to Andy means you're signing up for a war. The boy didn't know that. Poor him.
Where was I again? Oh, Fridays. Do you know why I'm so excited about Friday? It's not just the fact that we don't have class on Friday, but also Andy said we'll go on a date. Well, truthfully, I beg her with that. Remember the time that she'll make up to me by treating me to lunch? I told her that we should go on a date together since it's been a while since we had our last one. But Andy being Andy, just wanted to be difficult.
"Let's go on a date and you can just treat me to lunch at that time."
"I have a lot of things to do Fiona. I'm still not finished tutoring, Jodie."
"You've been with her for a long time now. She's not replacing the best friend thrown, right? Because I got that," I pout and continued, "And I feel like you're avoiding me these days... It hurts you know." I look at her with the most pitiful puppy eyes she'd ever seen.
Andy just sighs in defeat, "Okay. We'll go out and I'll treat you to lunch," I pumped my fist in the air and made a victory dance, "In one condition, you have to pass the upcoming Literature exam."
I know I'm quite dumb, but I'm not the dumbest person on Earth. I know that because I know how windmills work, they don't just pop up out of nowhere and damage the wind. So, speaking of the exam, well, nothing much. I think I can ace that 100%. What's in the test you ask? Well, it's all about tragic love stories and people getting killed. Sounds like the stuff Andy fancies.
To know a little bit about me, I hate studying. So, in order for me not to get bored of it, I need to act it out or use someone as a guinea pig for my shenanigans, and I know who's going to be the perfect guinea pig for that. Let me demonstrate.
I've returned from a long and painful journey of socialization. I was welcomed by my good-for-nothing brother lying on the couch in the living room surrounded by rubbish. He was laughing hard while watching something on TV.
He looked at me and said, "What?"
I gave him a bored look and said, "I get sick when I do look on thee."
"What?!" I ignored him and went to my room *flips hair*.
We were having dinner and Mom just made my favorite Korean egg roll, but my brother, just like the pig he is, took some of mine which made me say the words ㅡ "Thou art a boil, a plague sore."
"What?!"
"Speak to me no more thou loathsome toad!" My Dad just splattered some peas on the table. He's a literature teacher so I think he gets me. Mom was giving him water while patting his back.
"Are you insulting me right now, Fiona?!"
"I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you, you half-face pignut!" Dad just splattered water on the table, making everything look messy.
God, that stressed me out. So, that's how you insult someone without them knowing. Aside from sarcasm, just learn a bunch of Shakespearean insults; the fancy way of cursing people. For me to pass the exam on Thursday, I need to continue speaking in a Shakespearean language the whole day. That's the best way of acquiring knowledge while not getting bored in the process. As much as possible, I'm gonna get that date with Andy in any way possible.
I saw Jodie sitting on her desk as I was looking for Andy. I was about to ask her if she saw her because it's time for us to go to the cafeteria. But it seems like Jodie was too busy looking outside the window.
She might be having an existential crisis. Let's not disturb her.
Andy might be in the cafeteria already. As I made my way to the cafeteria, I saw a bunch of people clogging in the hallway. Curiously, I slowly made my way there. I heard people were saying there's going to be a fight, or stuff like ㅡ "The the student council president and Jennifer are arguing!"
Oh, no you don't.
I run where the commotion was, and yelled, "Make way foolish humans, this is not a drill!" I squeeze myself in a crowd of sweaty, stinky, and hormone-driven simpletons. I was welcomed by two decent-looking and disheveled people. It wasn't what I expected, to be honest.
Why did I imagine they were pulling each other's hair out?
"Oh, perfect timing she's here," Jennifer said, smirking. Confusedly, I look at Andy, she has a bored look on her face while looking at Jennifer. Jennifer continued, "Fiona, I would like you to meet my boyfriend."
Why does this woman need to introduce her boyfriend to me? Do I look like I care?
Her boyfriend went out of the crowd and stood right next to her. After seeing her boyfriend's face, I get it now. He was one of the not-so-important people in my life. What's his name again? I can't recall.
"This is Kevin," She smiles. Why do I feel like this girl is planning on something? They kiss in front of us. That gave me... ugh, God. I cannot unseen. "I hope you don't mind, I heard that he's your ex." Kevin looks at me while smirking. I don't know why these two dimwits are targeting me. And I don't have x's, I just have y's. Like 'y' the heck did I date this person again?
"Oh, I don't mind. He wasn't that memorable anyway." The crowd just went 'Ohhhh'. Seriously, get a life, people. I reach out to hold Andy's hand. Even though it doesn't look like it, she hates being in this kind of situation. Andy let me hold her which made me happy. Now, I just have to look for a way to get us out of here.
"Oh, did I made you upset?" Jennifer retorts. I'm not even bothered because I just don't care. Kevin and I were done. I don't even remember why we broke up and I don't even recall why I dated such a douche.
"Jennifer, I don't know what's up with you and why you're attacking me like this," I stated, "You can have that person whenever you want, you don't need my consent because do I look like I care, Jennifer? No, I don't." Jennifer was fuming. Well, not my problem. I can see Jeamin was uncomfortable, the look on his face says it all.
I looked at him and said, "I do desire we may be better strangers."
"Fiona, Iㅡ!" What's his deal? He wanted to say something but I was not interested to hear it.
I focus on Andy who was just simply listening. She looks at me softly which probably interprets that she loves what I did. A smile was slowly creeping on my face. I squeezed her hand and said, "Do you wanna go on an adventure with me?"
Andy snorted, "Knock it off, you dummy..." She softly said.
"I shall live to knock thy brains out," I responded.
As I was about to pull her to get out of the crowd, she faced Jennifer and said, "If you wanted to get back at me, don't retort to nonsense tactics like this. Fiona has nothing to do with your issues with me. I wouldn't be so forgiving if you lay a hand on my friend ever again." And then we left them astounded.
Andy just threatens Jennifer for my sake for the second time. That sure melts my heart though. It makes me wanna hug her! When they were out of our view, I launched myself at Andy, making her shriek in surprise. I was hugging her tightly. Showing my affection to what she did.
"Fiona stop it."
I shook my head in disapproval and said, "Don't wanna. It's my Andy time now." Andy just sighs in defeat.
I cling at her for the rest of the period making everyone in class look at us. I was just reciprocating what Andy did a while ago. That sure made my day. I was smiling the whole day up until we went home together, and I was still clinging to her.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Talesofheaven
Talesofheaven What's your favorite Shakespearean insults/funny scene? Mine was "Oh, speak to me no more thou loathsome toad!" part. Hahaha. How about you guys?
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