Chapter 7: A Lesson in Killing
And so began my time with the Goetian family, cleaning and spending time with the Goetian demon himself. So far, we've talked over lunch provided by his imp servant. He told me a little bit about his life growing up, his father, but mostly about his wife; aka "the bitch". Then again, I believe any crazy woman like her you consider as a wife to be "the bitch". From what I understood, though, I do feel bad for the guy. By what I understand so far, the woman was a complete spoiled cunt since the day they were betrothed. She even went on saying the only reason they were together was to just produce an heir and so they did, ala Octavia. Despite doing his best to make it work between the two of them for the sake of his daughter, his wife was still a cunt nugget married to him. That was until Blitzo was involved.
You see, Stolas had not many friends when he was younger and his father wasn't around much either. That's when he met Blitzo one day at the circus. The little imp was a performer there until Stolas took an interest in him and seeing this, his father "bought" the kid to be friends with Stolas. It seemed like a fun friendship by the sound of it. What it is now I don't even know. And so, years later, Blitzo came back to visit him and if you've seen the show so far, you know that the rest was history. How Blitz being Blitz back then makes me wonder yet not enough to care.
I checked my phone and saw how late it was getting. "Well, I suppose I should call it a night. I've got work tomorrow morning," I said before grumbling, "like it'll be any profitable than this."
"Ah, must you?" Stolas inquired. "I could offer you one of the spare rooms if you wish."
"Love too, but I don't think that's such a great idea. Your wife might get the wrong idea if you get my meaning?"
Stolas sighed, looking disappointed. "I suppose so. Perhaps another time."
"Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Hopefully when your wife acts less of a cunt or finally moves on without you and Octavia."
"Indeed. I'll show you out." Stolas smiled as he got up and walked with me to the door. "I trust you found today enlightening?"
"Oh yeah, very much." I said in agreement. "I feel like this sort of thing could work in certain cases, don't you? Like uh, you know…better customer service relations?"
The tall bird demon seemed puzzling by what I meant. "I…think I know what you're getting at."
"Basically what I'm saying is that with some exceptions, customers and the people hired for them can get along nicely and probably be buddies right?"
"Ah yes, I suppose that makes better sense." I opened the door and there at the door, to my surprise, was Octavia probably getting back from friends or whatever.
"Ah, hello Via dear. Barry here was just leaving. He's going to be working for us for the time being." Stolas said to his daughter.
"Just as long as we abide by this." I implied as I held up the contract to show her.
"Okay…" was all that she said. Feeling awkward about it, I cleared my throat and and shook the demon lord's hand firmly and bid them both a good day. I got back to Moxxie and Millie's and count up the wad of cash. Half a grand for cleaning a big ass house?! If I keep this up, I'll be doing well in no time. I put it in a secret place and turned in for the night, looking forward to the next big payday.
I arrived early the next morning as usual with Moxxie and Millie, checking in, cleaning up, yada yada yada. The usual shit. I was vacuuming with my usual taste in music playing through my wireless, noise blocking headphones when I suddenly felt the left half of them lifted up and supposed ear being raped by the head imp himself. "Hey Barry!"
My reaction was as you expected it to be, surprised soon turning into annoyance. "Jesus! Could you not yell any louder into my ear?" I said in a annoyed tone that matched as I rubbed my ear before taking off my headset.
"Where would the fun be in that?" The little bastard flashed a toothy grin at me, the kind that a playful dickhead like him could give you.
"Something up?" I had a feeling he was going to say something dirty so I followed up with "And if you finish that dirty thought, it's my foot up your tiny little ass."
Blitz turned his grin into a gamy smile. "I actually need you with me today."
I tilted my head in a curious manner. "What for? Dare I ask."
"It's just a little trainee thing for you to watch and learn. A little how-to know-how about dealing with any clientele we'll be having. It's probably a slow day today so why the hell not? Interested?"
Something seemed queer about what he was asking me. And no, not 'queer' as in homo, you uncultured swine. I mean 'queer' as in 'strange'. *sighs* Stupid narrow mindedness. Anyway, I figured why not and just play along. "Eh, fuck it. Why not? At least it gives me a break from cleaning."
The smile turned back into his toothy grin again. "Great, our client should be here whenever so don't go too far." He headed back to his office to do whatever he does and I went back to cleaning with half a headphone on just in case. About an hour or so later, I get the word from Blitz and walked into his office to be introduced to what was classified as sinner demon.
To put it simply, Sinner demons are a subspecies of demon that were once human who have committed sins before they died, which results in them arriving in Hell as their punishment in the afterlife. Sinners have known limitations that separate them from the natural Hellborn demons. For instance, all Sinners are confined to the Pride Ring and are unable to traverse through the other rings.
Furthermore, Sinners are the only known species of demon that are unable to reproduce, as part of their punishment. Although they are the souls of dead sinners, these demons are still able to consume food and the like, which suggests that their bodies still need the intake in order to survive.
Despite these setbacks, Sinners have the rare privilege to change their social status by gaining power, either by making deals with stronger demons and/or taking power by force. Those who have accumulated enough power through these deals can rise in social status and to the next class in the hierarchy, the Overlords. Furthermore, Sinners are biologically immortal, and will not die from the aging process. Seeing how things are looking so far, this could be how I might end up as, but I'm not ready to die yet.
Getting back to the client, the lady demon was once known as Mrs. Mayberry. She retained her human self's body shape and outfit but with some devilish features. She was roughly the size of Blitzo with violet skin, pointed ears, red eyes with yellow pupils, and sharp yellow teeth. She had the same tail as an imp, but with noticeable goat-like traits like horns and lavender hooves.
Mrs. Mayberry sported messy white hair, her headband black. She wore a dark pink shirt with noticeable stitches and an upside-down red teardrop jewel on her chest with yellow on the tip. She also wears a black torn skirt, red earrings, and pink glasses. I shook hands with her and greeted her politely as we took a seat and listened to her tale.
To sum it up, Mrs. Mayberry was formerly a school teacher with life seemingly going great for her; great obedient kids in class, loving husband, the works. And then, of course, it all changed when she found out her husband was feeding his big ol' salami to some other woman.
How she found out was probably one of the worst ways anyone could find out: by making a video call to her husband to have her and her class wish him a happy birthday, only to see him getting his birthday rocks off dipping his "skin pole" into another woman's "honey pot" (if I may use the proper innuendos). How she took it, however, well…could have been better. She took off like a bat out of hell, forgetting to close the video call, and practically murdered the cheaters with a mix of a gun and a chainsaw. And the worst thing about it, or hilarious if you're familiar with dark humor, was that her students witnessed all happening via video call. It was only after the small period of carnage she realized her mistake and thus took her own life like an emotionally irrational person would do.
I felt pity for her, in the sizeable amount compared to the world's smallest violin. But I did feel honestly feel bad about her. Being screwed over by fate when her husband crossed one of the biggest lines in any relationship.
"You do everything right in life. Play by all the rules and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world, after one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So, that's why I'm here - to get my revenge." Mrs. Mayberry concluded as she smoked a cigarette.
"I mean, was she hotter?" Blitz asked nonchalantly as he sat in his chair with his feet up on the desk. I felt worried when I saw the ladies' eyes started to glow in anger. "Just saying, I'm having a hard time understanding the unprompted melodrama you just spat at me, tits." Blitz continued on as her hair started waving in fury. "Wait, I don't think you quite understand how we operate down here." The little imp got up from his chair as he explained. "You see, we take revenge on the living and it sounds like the core cast of your sitcom of your death frankly are all probably down here in Hell with you," he finished with a little boop to her nose.
"Not all of them," the former teacher said in tempered anger. "That whore survived. Now they all call her a hero." That much was very true. The correct term to be used would be 'survivor'. But that's the media for you, using the wrong choice of vocabulary and the people are sheep in believing it. And as such, Martha (the woman Mayberry mentioned) started showing up on talk shows, receiving two million dollars in donations, and complimented by everyone around her, which infuriated Mayberry. My thoughts were interrupted with her suddenly slamming down on Blitz's desk damaging it. "She is not a hero!" Mayberry cried vehemently. She was now glaring down at Blitz as he now was leaning back into his chair, looking fearful for his life.
"Okay-yeah-my-thoughts-exactly." Blitzo said nervously. Cautiously, I gingerly laid a hand on her shoulder which made her now glare at me. Startled but keeping a leveled head, I eased her down by gently pulling her away from my boss.
"Don't worry ma'am, I assure you we will have this home wrecker out cold before you can say the next generic thing that comes to mind." I said in an assuring tone. I offered her a new fag (the British term for cigarette if I'm not mistaken) and lit it for her. "Just tell us if there's any particular way you'd like us to kill her and we'll take care of the rest. Is there any special way you want her to be annihilated? Like say,…cyanide in her martini? Dildo-turned-stake? Or would you prefer the quick and easy method of bullet to the head?"
"No need to be creative. Just kill her for me, please? Surprise me however you want, but I want that whore dead as Kanye West's career," she said flatly.
"Bullet to the head it is. I'll just go ahead and inform the team while you two work out the payment details, okay? Okay. It was nice talking to you, Mrs. Mayberry." I shook her hand and left her with Blitzo, hopefully in better spirits.
Once I got outside of the office, I exhaled; feeling relieved to be out of that scenario. A woman's scorn is always something not to deal with lightly, but I wish it wasn't so. I looked around to see Moxxie aiming a crossbow at a picture of some family held up by Loona as she's laying on the couch still playing around on her phone. To my right was a small tank full of electric eels. Millie, meanwhile, was watching him do so. "What's up, imps?"
"Hello, demon boy," a happy Mille said.
"You sure that's safe to do in here?" I asked, realizing that the situation could be very hazardous to one's health, whether it be mine or Loonas' for that matter.
"Only if he misses." Millie looked at her husband still trying to keep a steady aim. "Moxxie, stop shaking. You're gonna shoot our only hell hound," she said calmly.
"Wow, I feel so loved here," Loona said sarcastically.
"Just take a deep breath," Millie instructed as she gave a demonstrated exhale, "and let it out."
"But it's a family!" Moxxie said concerned. "Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?" Somehow i knew this was going to be a questionable debate, I was sure of it.
"I mean, if that's what the client wants," Millie said shrugging.
"Maybe like a shitty dad,-" Moxxie's voice was starting to impersonate a clichéd mob boss as he said "-or mob family. That's understandable." His voice went back to normal as he continued. "But to eradicate an entire innocent, seemingly innocent, upper middle class family bloodline?!"
That was a good point. Even Loona seemed to be in agreement as I saw a pinch of guilt on her face while looking at the picture, possibly thinking about family that she might not know about. Well, at least that's what I'm assuming. I'm sure some of you are thinking that as well.
"Hey, you don't know they're innocent," she finally said, gesturing at the family photo as she elaborated. "This kid probably sets dogs on fire, this girl gets off booing Australian kids online, and this guy…this guy definitely watches!"
Seemed like a possibility when she puts it like that. Oddly specific but…true. Already, thoughts about this were flaring up in my head faster than California wildfires. Issues like this aren't always so black and white.
"Exactly." Millie said as I was still pondering what some of you may be pondering whether to kill or not to kill. "Humans are full of secret nasties. It's why so many of them end up here." Sheesh, do I have to say anything to this conversation? I think it practically speaks for itself and should be a subject talked about with an open mind instead of the narrow. I believe Millie soon realized that she almost forgot me being in the room. "Oh shoot. No offense, Barry."
"Oh no, no. I agree with you. I believe there's always a skeleton in every human's closet." I answered, putting up a reassuring hand. "It's just hard to tell at times."
Millie had a relieved smile on her face as I provided my consent. "Anyway,- she clasped her husband by the red cheeks on his face. "-remember what we said beforehand when we met Barry? Guilty and innocent aren't our business, Mox. Killing who we're paid to, is. Our. Businesses." It was kind of humorous the way she moved Moxxie's lips as she said this. "Shoot the target." With that said, Mills kissed his cheek and let him go so he can do what he has to do.
"I just think it's a bit excessive." Moxxie argued as he readjusted himself with the crossbow. "And we could be a bit more selective is all." He paused as he looked up at me as I was still leaning up against the wall with this conversation going. "Barry, help me out here. Do you think we should?"
I looked up as I was finally brought into the conversation again. But just when I was about to give them my pennies for their thoughts, WHAM! The door suddenly hated my face and slammed into me hard. I soon heard Blitz saying "Guys! I want you to meet-" and the binging of an arrow ricocheting all over the room until it came to a stop.
When I peeked around, I could see the aftermath of the small bit of chaos: Millie in Moxxie's arms, Loona looking startled as there was a punctured hole in the picture she was holding as well as various puncture marks on the floor, walls and ceiling, and finally Blitz with the arrow in hand. It looked like he caught it just as it was about to hit Mrs. Mayberry.
"-our newest client." Blitz said in completion. I rubbed my nose, being both hurt and upset until I heard the aquarium about to collapse and fall over, spilling both tank water and eels upon the floor. The water spilled in all directions, especially near an outlet and just from a few sparks of the eels, setting off an electric shock resulting in the room catching fire. "Dammit Moxxie! I just paid for those eels!"
One 9-1-1 call later, we were all outside as the fire department came to put out the fire (ironic isn't it?) and getting rid of the eels. I'm just glad the whole fucking building didn't go up in flames. Blitz, meanwhile, was reassuring a doubtful Ms. Mayberry as she got into a cab. "Bye! And don't worry, we'll get that skank in less than twenty four hours or your first kill is free!" Blitz said as she drove away.
"When did we start implementing that deal?" Moxxie asked as he and Millie helped see our newest client off along the curb of the sidewalk.
Blitz grabbed Moxxie by both cheeks as he explained, slowly but surely showing how pissed he was. "When you set fire to my office in front of a client, you fucking dipshit!!! Now someone please tell me that fancy book is still intact?!"
"You mean our only ticket to the other side?" Loona asked nonchalantly. She pulled out the grimoire to show him. "Here, got it."
"And that's why you're my favorite, Looney," said a happy Blitz. Loona had a little smile again and once again was gone after Blitzo pulled out a dog treat for her. "You get a tweat now." Is that considered specist?
"Ew, stop!" said an annoyed Loona. Using his tongue like a frog, the little imp snatched up the dog treat he just tossed up and ate it. Loona didn't seem pleased. "You're so gross!" Now disgusted and annoyed, Loona opened the book for the incantation while Millie drew the pentagram portal for them to travel through.
"Aw, stop it." Blitz said modestly. "I get that enough from my therapist." And with that she was done as the hell hound turned for the building doors. I was next to follow shortly afterwards. "Now let's go lick some ass!"
"Uh don't you mean kick some ass, Blitz?" I asked with a raised brow.
"Mine's better."
I shrugged. "Semantics. Oh well, happy hunting!" I started to join Loona back inside when…
"And where do ya think you're going?" Blitzo asked me, making me freeze in my tracks.
"Back…inside? Where I'm usually at, cleaning?" I said slowly, confused.
"Not today you're not!" Blitz gleefully pulled out something I'd never thought I'd see again: my Ruger! He flipped it to grab the barrel before handing it to me. "You're coming with us today!"
"Me?" This surprised even me. "Okay, what's the gag Blitz?"
"What gag?"
"The gag about wanting me to come along so suddenly on your little vengeful murder team? Why now instead of like, you know, a day prior to this?"
"Oh I just figured 'why not?' and just be spontaneous about it. I thought you were the kind of guy who would leap at the chance to kill a scummy human."
"Well, yeah. But I…"
"Plus I need someone as back up in case something goes wrong, mostly getting fucked over by say…Moxxie fucking it up!" Moxxie was about to protest, but was silenced when Blitz rested an arm on his head. "So what do you say, Barry?"
I thought about it for a moment and be quick about it because time is money. On the one hand, it would be nice to finally kill a disgrace to humanity that deserved to die. To finally put my money where my mouth is and see if I had the gall to kill a man or woman or whatever the fuck people "label" themselves these days. On the other hand,…
"Is it loaded?" I asked.
"Mhm. Cleaned, tested and ready to go! But are you?" The imp grinned as he wagged the gun side-to-side as if anticipating my decision. Thinning my lips, I went for it and took the gun from him. "Alright! Now we're in business! Let's kill a bitch!" The imps were first to hop on through and me afterwards. I paused and looked to Loona just to see her already going around the jolly 'orner. I was gonna to ask if she wanted anything from the human world. Oh well! I'll just surprise her when I get back. That is, If I make it back.
Stepping through the portal, the four of us stood in front of a red picket fence with the usual little greeting that said 'welcome' and behind that was a quaint little two-story lakeside home sitting on a nice little hill. Nice touch. We snuck up to the house and hid in a small bush under a window sill. Blitz and I peeked up through the window to see our target Martha about to serve dinner to her husband and two kids, one boy and one girl. Quite the cliché, isn't it?
Blitz peeked up next to me and chortled. "That's got to be her. Ho-ho-ho, this is too easy." He looks over at Moxxie. "Moxxie, you want this one?" Blitz asked him, tilting his head to indicate the blonde woman inside.
Moxxie seemed happy to be offered the chance to off her. "Me?!" His face lit up just from the thought of it.
"Yeah, this one is simple enough for ya." As Blitz was talking, Moxxie looked up with us. His joy immediately turned to dread as he saw the family. "Just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital." When Mox hesitated, Blitzo immediately turned to me and said, "Snooze, you lose Mox. Barry, how 'bout you?"
I looked back to the family and I'd probably feel regret, having second thoughts like Moxxie if it wasn't for my eyes catching the sight of a kid's head mounted on their wall. Second thoughts gone! (No really, go back and look for it as you see the episode. I'm surprised how anyone missed that without a keen eye) "Oh yeah! Gimme the gun, dude!" I muttered as I held a hand out for the sniper rifle.
"Now that's what I'm talking about. Gimme some of that team spirit, Barry." Blitz said happily as I felt the gun placed into my hand. I adjusted myself as I took aim at her. I had to make sure I didn't miss, both to impress and not to mess up. I concentrated as I asked God to forgive me for what I was about to do, and this is what I'm hearing.
"Wait, are we actually killing a family?!" Moxxie asked, starting to panic.
"No, don't be a puss," said Blitzy. "We're just killing a mother. We're ruining a family."
"Maybe we should just kill them all, just to leave no one alive for vengeance and all that." I suggested, getting Martha into my sights.
"Atta boy, Barry! Ya see, Mox? Barry here's got the idea." At least I was making someone happy.
Moxxie stumbled over with his words. "But…h-h-hold on, hold on. Let's just think about it." Just when I had the bitch in my sights and started squeezing the trigger, I felt my firing arm jerked back hard by a pair of small hands and made me fire too soon. The shot hit one of their pictures, causing the family to be alarmed and look at where we were at.
I ducked down almost immediately. "Shit!" I thought to myself. This was not how I wanted it to go down. Meanwhile, Blitzo was chastising Moxxie. And I honestly can't blame him.
"What the fuck was that, Moxxie?!" Blitz hissed at him in a low tone. Moxxie looked like he was having another panic attack, wheezing and hacking before having the chance to talk.
"I'm sorry! They just seemed so wholesome and happy," panted Moxxie. "I panicked!"
I carefully took a look through the window and could see that the whole ordeal was about to get even worse. The entire family was armed (save for an urn in a wheelchair containing some family member's ashes. I never noticed it until now. Take a look.) with shotguns save for the boy who had what I assumed was a handgun. "Uh, fellas. I think we better get out of here. The situation is about to get whole lot worse," I said a little frantic.
But Blitz was still scolding a whimpering Moxxie. "Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie? The moment of your birth, you're already a parasite leeching on your momma's tits! Get the fuck over yourself, you baby dick pri-"
BLAM! Before we knew it, a shotgun blast created a hole through the wall as big as the imps and caught Blitz in the shoulder. "Ahh! A new hole!" Blitz cried out. "Scatter!"
This was going to be bad day.
(To be continued…)
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone