Chapter 2: I just have to trigger the right flags
"Hey Claus!"
Nate's words fell on deaf ears for I neither had the awareness nor the energy to listen to his rambling today and yet I almost always never do which makes it a great annoyance that he keeps on going still. Why can't I just have some peace damn it, I'd skip class but I really don't want to be alone with my thoughts, and what else but school do I have going on in my life?
"Damn it Nate! Not today."
"Woah, that critic attacked your new chapter again?" I just burst out, which made even those who sat around me uncomfortable after rarely seeing me so flared up but Nathaniel had an annoying mix of ignorance to his kindness and I could whip his ass and he would probably think I'm just a child acting out.
"No…it's not like that…" I really didn't want to talk about it and yet if I don't hold my tongue I know for certain I'd blurt it out.
"What is it then?" I simply turned away from his direction but Nate had a mischievous grin and once he is curious he can go to great lengths to satiate it, I swear some days he is a complete child.
"If I can guess it, will you tell me?" I simply looked at him from the back of my eyes, no way he can guess.
"It's about Lara isn't it?" I flinched before I could stop myself…Why didn't I expect that answer? No…I did expect it but it was inevitable to have that expression on my face when I heard her name…especially after yesterday.
His grin stretched, he'd caught me but more from my lack of control than his perceptibility – of course he wouldn't believe that and now that he knows where to press, he'll press harder until I bleed.
"She...confessed to me…"
Nate was taken aback and even my eavesdropping classmates gasped. Although Lara was from another school, she was famous around town for her beauty and skill in acting. You could scarcely find a teenager who didn't know her…or even liked her for that matter.
"Come on, you've got to tell me everything!" He then pulled me away from our classroom and from our gossip classmates. Thankfully they didn't know I was close to Lara and considering my social standing, they'll find it hard to believe I'm sure and most probably would think I meant a different person by the same name but simply the thought of it was surprising for sure.
"Damn! How could you score such a hottie!" Nate was squeezing my shoulder in annoyance, he was one of the few people to know of my relationship with her and even met Lara a couple of times but I don't blame him for being frustrated, she is out of my league, that's for sure.
I stayed quiet still not knowing where to start.
"I'm really happy for you bro." He then gave me a proud smile, genuine in his own conceited way.
"Don't pat me on the back just yet."
He then stopped and gazed at me with anticipated regret, like when you accidentally say "You too" to a server after they said "Enjoy your meal."
"How the hell did you mess this up?!"
I walked around a bit and leaned at the railings, overviewing our town from the second floor. "I ran away."
Nate cried out, from joy or frustration I knew not, perhaps both. "You idiot! Why?!"
"I – don't know"
"Tell me what happened." He now became serious and sympathetic, recovering himself.
"Well we were hanging around the beach, by the Ranger's Woods"
"Yeah, just go on already, stop with the description of the Setting"
"We were laying down by the shade of a tree when she turned to me and said she loved me–"
"Wh-What?!"
"If you repeat that one more time I'm going to hit you." It was getting on my nerves that no one would believe what actually happened.
"Then what did you say?"
"I didn't know what to say…I only nodded my head and packed my things…"
"Idiot!"
I smiled gloomily with the recurrence of yesterday, Lara's almost tearful eyes as we walked back and that pull in my heart that made me shrink.
"You can still fix this! After class go to her and–"
"I don't love her man, I knew what I was supposed to say yesterday and I couldn't bring myself to say it. If I tried again today, the outcome would be the same."
"You are unbelievable you know that?! So what are you going to do now?"
"Nothing."
"So you don't want to be her boyfriend?"
"I don't."
"But if she suddenly dates another guy would you be fine with that?"
I only shook my head. As much as I want to say I don't care, that's really not the case. If she did date someone else, I'm sure I'd be jealous…I have been before after all.
"So you do love her after all!"
"N-no…Well yes but not like that!"
"Claus…Help me to see what I'm not seeing here."
"Alright, have you ever played the game 'The sound of a beating heart'?"
"Yeah it's a dating sim right?"
"Well there's two endings there right? You either confess to the love interest and it shows 'Good end' or you reject her and she hangs herself and it shows 'Bad End' right?"
"Yep, that scene still keeps me up at night sometimes…"
"Wrong, there's another ending. If you trigger the right the flags the heroine reaches the state of both falling in love with you, and not loving you. In that ending, she does not confess her love and the game continues on a loop, a neutral end."
"Dude, I think your game just bugged, I don't remember there being one like that."
"Well it's not about the game, it's about the concept. What I want with Lara is a neutral end, I don't want anything to change. I don't want to become her boyfriend nor do I want her to have anyone else."
Nate looked at me earnestly and grimaced. "That's…"
I waited for him to say it but he was really struggling not to but I seemed to have acquired his curiosity and I badgered him to say it.
"That is really selfish," He finally said it looking at me with gravity but soon after apologized.
I tried to force a smile but it had only turned into a crooked grin, a mix of both guilt and pride. "I know."
Nate seemed o have waned to say more but he was cautious of my feelings especially since he knew that I was probably already thinking what he was about to say next so we simply went back to the classroom, neither saying a word until class was over.
"Hey, do you still have yesterday's calculus assignment?" While I was packing my stuff, a classmate of mine asked me. She was Cindy Smith, your usual bad girl archetype, complete with the piercings, rebellious actions towards every figure of authority in her life, and a stereotype that happened to be true to her – bad with academics.
"Yeah, I've got it right here." I then took out a notebook an offered it to her, not that I was scared of her…well maybe a little bit…
"Thanks." Cindy took it without hesitation and quite ungratefully if I might conjecture considering this one paper is what's keeping her from failing the subject.
"Oh and Cindy." I called out to her as she was about to leave. She looked at me with an annoyed glare, perhaps thinking that I changed my mind and was going to take it back.
"What?" With that rebellious attitude that often got her in trouble, he characteristically stared me down.
"That has today's assignment too so you might want to copy that as well…Just you know don't go copying even the name."
She mistook my joke for an insult and came charging towards me, not afraid to make a scene as always, and I fatigued from all the emotions today and yesterday couldn't care less.
"Of course I know that, do you think I'm an idiot?!" With her thin arms she tugged at my collar.
"No, I was making a joke, I'm sorry. Can I buy you a drink to make up for it?" I honestly don't know what I'm saying at this point but I wanted this whole façade to be over as soon as possible.
"O-oh…You shouldn't be making jokes with that deadpan face of yours." She let go of me without delay, looking slightly embarrassed herself. I simply fixed my shirt and gave her a court bow and left the room…now then…how shall I explain the bow? I've got no idea…
As I was leaving, Nate caught up to me. "Did you really just ask Cindy out? Cindy 'the twice suspended in the same month' Smith?"
"And I was told my jokes were crappy." Nate only looked more dumbfounded.
"Dude…what is happening to you? I almost jumped over there earlier when I thought Cindy was going to kick your ass."
"Must be a funny sight huh."
"Not in the least." Nate gave me a serious look but as we looked at each other, smiles broke out from both our faces.
"Do you really think Cindy can beat me in a fight? I mean I'm twice her size."
"Twice her weight you mean, fat ass but the one I'm scared of is her older brother who is literally twice her size and her boyfriend, some muscular jock."
"I'll just apologize; it's not like I'll be much of a bully material."
"Dude you're literally the very image of a nerd: high grades, rich family, and little to no friends. You are a hippo out there for the taking in the jungle of bullies."
"I'll have you know that hippos have the strongest jaw in the world and any predator who tries to hunt it would be stupid and won't go home unwounded. You should've said zebra instead.
"Zebras live mostly on the savannah, idiot. Besides you can't be a zebra because zebras go in herds."
"How about mongoose then? They're pretty small."
"Yeah but they're brave enough to fight cobras, you aren't that strong. Maybe a rat."
"…. They come in groups too…" We both laughed.
"Wanna come over today? I've got a new game in my console."
"Oh sure, not like I've got anywhere better to be anyway."
"Great, I can tell you about me and Daisy while we play."
"Oh damn, I forgot I need to find a bridge for me to jump in instead."
"Hey, I listened to your lovelife that you so unobligingly forced on me."
"Forced on you huh? Well, can't argue with that logic…."
We entered the house and Nate's parents weren't there so we headed straight to his room and as he left me alone while prepared some snacks, his sister came in and mistook me for Nate.
"Hey, did you steal my phone again you creep?!" She then smacked my head which was a surprise for us both as she realized she wasn't talking to her brother when she hit me.
"Well, you certainly grew braver since we last met Naomi." She stammered a reply.
"C-Claus! I'm so sorry I thought you were my brother."
"I'd say it happens but this is really the first time I've been mistaken for him….and I never expected his own sister to be the one to do it."
She began to be silent and back to her shy composure. It was really quite comparable to the split personality like talent of Lara but Naomi is really just a shy girl and this change of her personality is not a front nor a manipulation but how she really is.
"Oh hey Mimi, did you come here for snacks?" Nate set the snacks on his desk and booted up his console while he looked at a bookshelf for the game he wanted. It was ironic because it was more videogames there than books and the only books he had were light novels and a couple of comics.
"My phone." She tried to mutter.
"I think I saw it by the tv."
Naomi then ran outside.
"Still pretty shy huh?"
"Just shy, she ain't pretty."
"Now that's not fair, I think she aged to be quite beautiful really."
"Hey dude back off, that's my sister!"
"I didn't mean it like that idiot."
"Oh you never know. You're becoming quite a rascal after all, hitting on Cindy like you did earlier." He then made a teasing expression with his tongue.
"Hey it wasn't like that, I only gave her my homework."
"Oh sure you do. Just keep it to homework for now bro, Lara should be the one you worry about."
"Ah, I don't want to think about that…"
"You should though, if you keep on waiting around she'll find someone better that's for sure. And I heard a rumor that she's Cindy's brother's next target."
"Disgusting… I don't have to worry about Lara for now, she's a smart girl I'm sure no jock would be able to trick her so easily."
"It's always the smart girls that jocks trick easily bro. Remember what Dostoevsky said 'the more cunning a man is, the simpler his trap shall be'."
"How the hell do you know Dostoevsky?!"
"Hehe, you aren't the only one who reads the classics my friend."
"Yeah yeah, but I just can't imagine Lara hanging out with people like Cindy."
"Why not? She's sporty, popular, and pretty – she'll fit right in."
"Doesn't she also need to learn to be a douchebag to fit in there?"
"You'll be surprised to see that most of them are actually pretty nice people Claus. But teenagers are still controlled by hormones at this stage I suppose."
"We're teenagers too and we don't go chasing skirts around."
"Yeah, but that's because we've got things that keep us busy, for me it's videogames, for you its that web novel of yours."
"Don't they have their sports too?"
"Yeah but after running around for a while you'll want a sweet treat no?"
"Since when did you speak douchebag language?"
"Since I realized we weren't so different. But we digress, I am telling you Claus. Whether or not you want Lara or not, you must ask her to be your girlfriend, relationships are the only thing that can tie a girl down…legally speaking that is…"
"I trust Lara, anyway what do you think Ms. Evergreen's doing now?"
"Probably reading my secret love letter…hehehe."
"Dude creepy. Besides if she gets caught with one of your letters they might have the wrong idea and she might lose her job you know. What's that talk earlier about me being selfish again?"
"That's completely different! I love her and I want to make Daisy happy, I'll give her my life if I could – this is just a case of being in the wrong time, I can't be selfish if I love can I?"
"I don't know, the concept of love itself seems selfish to me. 'I am yours forever' seems like something a slave would say no?"
"How can the romance novelist actually be the one saying this?"
"Because although love is illogical, heartbreak isn't. People essentially read Romance not for the romance itself but for it's tragedy."
"Well, my unrequited love seems like a good subject for you then. It's not like I'm expecting to get anything here, I just want her to know and to feel loved."
"A forbidden love by her student though."
"If love knows no bounds, then why should I?"
"Because although love doesn't, life does."
"You really know how to bring a brother down don't you."
"No, I'm just becoming your voice of reason…after all you were wrong – it won't be unrequited for long…"
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