Chapter 1: Prologue: Noah Anderson
"Hey buddy, can you come here for a sec?" The voice of a man entered my ears. His voice was very deep and rough, but his tone was gentle, as if he was afraid he will hurt me.
Looking at the conflict written on his face, I already know where this conversation will lead to. But even though I know, that doesn't mean I'm prepared for it.
I can feel the tears that start forming in my eyes and the lump that starts rising in my throat.
I don't want him to notice my state, so I just looked at the floor, hoping he decides to leave.
Unfortunately, life doesn't always go the way you want to as I suddenly felt a hand on my head.
The hand was rough and full of calluses, and while I normally would have hated it, the way he gently pats me only brings me comfort.
How great would it be if he was it?
But alas, I know it's not meant to be.
While rubbing my head, he started to speak "Hey Noah, we really enjoyed the time we spent together and think you're a great kid. You're a truly special kid, and we feel grateful to have had the chance to spend time with you. However, after thinking long and hard, we realized we weren't a match for each other. We hope you understand Noah, and I'm sure you will find a better family."
Liar.
You're such a liar mister.
You didn't enjoy my company.
You don't think I'm great.
You don't think I'm special.
And you don't feel grateful for spending time with me.
You don't need to lie, I already know what you're thinking. After all, parents don't want their kids to be someone like me, someone always quiet and gloomy.
Spending time with you guys, faced with your kindness and hospitality, I started to hope, maybe you guys are the one. Maybe I have finally found my family.
But the moment I heard those familiar words of rejection, I realized getting my hopes up once again was the wrong move.
Feeling overwhelmed with my emotions, I quickly escaped from his pat and ran away to the room where every kid sleeps.
Arriving on my bed, I quickly lay down and tried to catch my breath, tired from all of that running.
I don't know why, but memories of the past started to flood my mind.
I remembered how great life was back then, how I was always smiling happy, and full of energy.
But it all changed when I saw my parents die by getting hit by a truck right in front of my eyes, I think that was the moment I became the kid I am now. Gloomy, rarely smiling, and preferring to be all alone.
This didn't change even when my relatives sent me away to an orphanage after they said they can't take care of me anymore.
But it's not like I minded because if there was one good thing about being sent to an orphanage, it was the hope that started to bloom inside me.
Maybe in this orphanage, I will find a new family. It's not like I completely forgot about my old one, and I do feel guilty about wanting a new one.
But, I'm a greedy person. And I want to receive love. I can't decide not to after experiencing it just once.
With my desire for love burning brightly, I spent the past year in this orphanage trying to find a family.
But, I never got one.
"He's too gloomy."
"We're sorry, but you're not the one we're looking for."
"It's too bad Noah, I'm sure you will find another family."
"I want another kid. He's too quiet."
Hearing all of their comments deeply pierced my heart, and I found myself becoming more gloomy as I continued getting rejected.
While most of them spoke gently to not hurt my feelings, there were a select few who didn't think I was intelligent enough to understand so they insulted me in front of my face.
This cycle of rejection continued until the present, where I got rejected by another family just now.
The tears that I held back until now decided to escape, and I was crying fully with snot dripping down my nose.
Do I not deserve love?
This question plagued my mind the entire time I cried and I only stopped when I could no longer continue. My throat hurts, my eyes are red and puffy, and I can barely breathe.
As I lay on my bed, trying to recover, I couldn't help but feel like a burden to everyone around me. The rejection had become a familiar feeling, but it never got easier. I just wanted to feel wanted and loved, but it seemed like that was never going to happen.
After a few minutes of recovering, I knew that I couldn't stay in this state for long, so I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears. I got up from my bed and looked over the window. Looking outside, the sun was gone and was replaced by the moon.
I began to wonder how long I had been crying as I gazed out the window since the sun was still shining when I first started. Suddenly, my stomach rumbled, reminding me that I had yet to eat dinner. As I turned away from the window to head towards the door, I overheard faint voices outside
I strained to listen, pressing my ear against the door in the hopes of catching some words. "Why was Noah crying in the room earlier?" a young girl's voice asked. "Don't you know?" a boy replied. "He was rejected by another family again." The words hit me hard, a sharp pain piercing my heart.
"Makes sense. I wouldn't like a brother like him. He's too gloomy." Hearing those familiar words, I felt a familiar sense of despair wash over me as I clenched my fist.
Once again, they don't want me. Once again, my personality is driving them away.
Just what does it take for people to finally accept me?
My thoughts were interrupted by the boy "It's a waste though. Noah is very cute and I would love to have a little brother like him. The only problem with him is really his personality. If he was a cheerful and energetic child instead, I'm sure he would be instantly adopted."
The girl agreed, "You're right. If Noah were very energetic and not gloomy like he is now, I'm sure he would be popular. In fact, I would like him to be my big brother if that was the case."
I heard enough.
I quickly rushed to my bed and dived onto it, no longer feeling hungry.
As I lay down, I started to ponder over the words they just said.
Is being gloomy the only reason I wasn't well-liked among the parents?
I had considered this before, but I never had enough evidence to prove it because I never spoke to anyone about it.
So, does this mean if I change, I can find love?
For the first time in a long while, I started to feel hope.
If this method works, I will be able to find a family.
In fact, I wonder why I never thought of doing this before.
I started to get excited.
That's why instead of eating dinner and sleeping like I usually do, I lay there in bed, imagining what kind of child every parent would want. Maybe they would like someone who is always smiling, happy and energetic, someone who is outgoing and loves to play with others.
But then, my mind started to drift to the extreme, to the kind of child that would make parents never want to leave their side.
What if I could be the perfect child, not just in their eyes, but in their minds? What if I could be someone so perfect that no one could resist adopting me?
I started to imagine the perfect child that every parent would want: someone who was full of energy, always eager to explore and learn new things. This child would be outgoing and friendly, but not in an overbearing way. They would know just the right amount of teasing to make others feel comfortable and laugh.
In my mind, this child would have a magnetic personality that drew people in, making them feel special and appreciated. They would be curious and inquisitive, always asking questions and wanting to know more. This child would also have a great sense of humor and be able to make others laugh with their silly antics.
And what kind of habits would they have? Would they constantly tap their fingers or twist their hair? Perhaps they would have a strange obsession with counting things or touching certain objects in a specific order.
As the night wore on, my mind became more and more consumed by the image of this perfect child. I couldn't stop thinking about him, imagining every aspect of his being in meticulous detail.
What would his greatest fear be? I wondered. Perhaps he would be afraid of the dark, or of being alone. And how would he react if he ever faced that fear? Would he scream and cry, or would he face it head-on with a fierce determination?
I started to finalize his habits, too - the way he would tap his foot nervously when he was excited, or the way he would bite his lip when he was concentrating. I even went so far as to imagine what his favorite food would be, and how he would react if it wasn't prepared exactly the way he liked it.
And as I delved deeper into my imagination, I realized that I was becoming obsessed with this perfect child. It was as if I had created a living, breathing being in my mind, and I was determined to bring him to life.
I spent the entire night lost in thought, dreaming up every possible detail about this perfect child. By the time the sun started to rise, I felt like I knew him better than I knew myself.
And as I left my bed and walked toward the exit, I started to get excited.
If I just act like this, I'm sure I'll get adopted soon.
I closed my eyes, shutting out all distractions, and focused all of my energy on the task at hand.
And as I opened my eyes, I felt like a different person.
(Gif here)
Let's do this.
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Noah emerged from the room, his face showing signs of exhaustion: dark circles under his eyes and a weariness that seemed to drag down his entire body. The caretaker, who was sweeping the floor nearby, looked up and immediately sensed that something was wrong. She couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for Noah, knowing that he had likely spent another sleepless night after being turned down by yet another prospective family.
She walked towards him and asked with great concern "Hey Noah, are you feeling better? If you are, you should go to the mess hall soon and eat to fill out your tummy. Kids should eat a lot and grow healthy."
Unexpectedly, instead of the lifeless nod she had anticipated, he lifted his gaze to meet hers and broke into a wide, genuine smile that illuminated his eyes, completely different from his usual lifeless eyes.
"Thanks for worrying about me! But you don't need to worry, I feel great!" He exclaimed, flexing his bicep as if trying to prove his strength and to reassure them that he was indeed feeling great.
The caretaker took a step back in surprise, her eyes widening at the sudden transformation in Noah's demeanor. For a moment, she was at a loss for words, completely taken aback by how different he seemed from his usual self.
As she studied him more closely, the caretaker couldn't help but wonder if Noah was genuinely okay, or if he was simply putting on a brave face. Her mind raced with questions and concerns, and she couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss.
"Are you sure you're okay Noah? It's okay to feel sad in situations like this." The caretaker said with a gentle tone, genuinely worried about him.
Noah nodded his head fiercely, his energy infectious. "I really am," he said with conviction. "Yesterday, when I found out that another family had rejected me, I felt really down. But then, lying in bed, I started to think. I realized that I can't let rejection get the best of me. I can't always be sad and give up. Instead, I'll put on a brave face and keep moving forward, hoping for a better future. Because you know what? I'm tougher than you think!"
The caretaker's anxiety slowly dissipated as she observed Noah's conviction-filled voice, the determined glint in his eyes, and the subtle yet reassuring movements of his body. Perhaps, he truly was telling the truth.
The caretaker smiled to herself, happy as Noah finally discovered his inner strength. She knew that with this newfound confidence, he would be able to find a loving family to call his own.
"I guess I was wrong about you Noah. I'm confident that you'll find a loving family soon. In the meantime, why don't you grab a bite to eat? It's important to take care of yourself and stay healthy" she suggested with a warm smile.
With a big smile on his face, Noah said "That's my plan anyway. Gotta keep my cute looks in tip-top shape, you know? But thanks for the advice, I'll definitely grab a bite to eat." He gave the woman a playful wink before skipping off to the dining hall, his energy and enthusiasm infectious to those around him.
The caretaker chuckled at his playful remark before getting back to work cleaning.
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In the blink of an eye, six months had gone by.
During these six months in the orphanage, Noah's new vibrant personality quickly made him a beloved figure among both the children and caretakers.
Although some were initially skeptical of his sudden transformation, over time, his charm and energy won over their hearts.
And right now, Noah sat on his bed, gently patting Ellie on the head. She was only four years younger than him, and she looked up to Noah as a big brother figure. "Please keep patting me, Noah!" Ellie giggled, clearly enjoying the attention.
Noah chuckled, "You know you're a bit of a diva, Ellie." But he continued to pat her head with a smile on his face.
Suddenly, a caretaker entered the room with a mix of excitement and sadness on their face. "Noah," she began, "I have some news. Do you remember the Andersons? Mr. and Ms. Anderson?"
Noah nodded his head excitedly "Yeah! I do! They were such a great couple and I had a lot of fun spending time with them yesterday!" he exclaimed, a broad grin lighting up his face.
"I have good news for you then." said the caretaker with a smile, noticing the excitement in Noah's eyes. "If you like them that much, then you'll be thrilled to know that the head of our orphanage, Ms. Taylor, had a discussion with them yesterday. And after careful consideration, they have decided to adopt you, Noah! Congratulations!" She paused, allowing the news to sink in as she watched Noah's face light up with joy.
"No way! That's incredible!" Noah exclaimed, his eyes shining with happiness. "I can't believe it! Thank you so much for telling me, and thank you to my cute looks for making me irresistibly adorable." He playfully said, which made the caretaker chuckle in response.
"Now, now, don't let your cuteness get to your head," she teased. "But seriously, we're all so happy for you, Noah. You're going to have a wonderful family, and we're going to miss you so much."
"I'm going to miss you guys too," Noah said, giving a sad smile before his attention turned to Ellie, who was sitting on his lap. "Hey, Ellie, what about you? Will you miss me too?" he asked, crouching down to her level.
Ellie remained silent, her head hanging low. Tears streamed down her face, and she couldn't bring herself to look at Noah. She felt a lump form in her throat, and she swallowed hard, trying to push down the wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.
Noah's face softened as he took in Ellie's reaction. He reached out and gently brushed away a tear from her cheek. "Hey, it's okay," he said softly. "I'll miss you too, Ellie. But I'll make sure to visit often?"
Ellie's sobs intensified, tears streaming down her face as Noah's words hit her hard. "Just say no to them!" she pleaded, clutching onto Noah's shirt. "I don't want you to leave, Noah. Who will I play with if you're gone? Don't get adopted. Please!"
Noah's expression softened as he placed a comforting hand on Ellie's shoulder. "Ellie, you're my sister" he said, his voice gentle. "And I love you with all my heart, these aren't a lie. But you understand, as a fellow orphan like me, you must know just how important a family is for us. So please understand."
Noah's voice cracked at the end of his sentence, and he quickly realized his mistake. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he looked at Ellie, and to her surprise, he hugged her. "Ellie," he began in a soft voice, "I understand why you don't want me to leave. But remember, even if I do go, I'll always be here for you. We can still write letters and talk on the phone. I'll never forget you."
Ellie's heart swelled with emotion as she gazed into Noah's eyes. She could see his longing for a family reflected in them, and it made her feel a deep kinship with him. She knew all too well what it was like to yearn for a family too.
But, it all changed when she met Noah. She didn't want a traditional family anymore. She already had a family, him. He had become her family in a way that she never thought was possible. She cherished the moments they spent together, the inside jokes they shared, and the unwavering support he gave her.
So with a heavy heart, Ellie nodded her head and thanked him for everything he did for her "Thanks Noah for everything you did for me. I'm happy you're my brother."
Noah broke away from his hug and held Ellie at arm's length. He looked her in the eye and smiled. "I'm happy you're my sister too Ellie," he said warmly. "Thank you for being in my life."
They stood there for a moment longer, not wanting to separate. But eventually, Noah pulled away and said his final goodbye before leaving the room.
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(Noah's POV)
"Hey Noah, it's great to have you in our family." Mr. Lee Anderson, my new father, told me with a warm smile. We were driving back to their house from the orphanage, which they said will take a a few hours.
I returned that smile "Thanks a lot father, I'm super excited to have a new family."
As I spoke, I felt a gentle hand settle on the top of my head. Turning to look, I saw Ms. Anna Anderson, my new mother, looking down at me with a kind expression on her face.
"You can just call him 'papa' if you want to, you know?" she said, her voice soft and reassuring. "No need to be nervous."
I placed a fist on my head "Oops. Look's like I got caught." I replied while smiling sheepishly.
Ms. Anna, I mean mother, looked outside the car, her eyes fixed on the starry sky. I followed her gaze, mesmerized by the twinkling lights. The gentle hum of the car's engine and the cool breeze blowing through the open window made me feel calm and relaxed.
But as I sat there, I started to feel my eyelids droop, my body craving for rest after a long and tiring day. I let out a deep yawn, hoping to fight off the drowsiness that was creeping over me.
Mother must have noticed my exhaustion, for she suddenly brought my head down to her shoulder. I felt her warmth envelop me, and I closed my eyes, letting out a contented sigh.
"Sleep, my dear," she whispered softly. "We still have a few hours of driving ahead of us."
I nodded back at her, grateful for the warm gesture. As I closed my eyes, my mind drifted to the events of the day, replaying the moments in my head like a movie.
The noise of the moving car gradually faded away, and I was left with only my thoughts.
I couldn't help but reflect on the events that led me here. It was all thanks to my decision to act like someone else, to put on a facade that made me more likable to potential adoptive parents. It worked, and now I finally had a family.
I started to think of Ellie. I truly loved her as a sister, but as much as I appreciated the love Ellie had for me, it wasn't the same as the love a family could give. It was a complicated feeling, one that I couldn't quite put into words. I loved Ellie like a sister, but deep down, I longed for the unconditional love of a parent.
And now, here I am, riding in the back seat of the car with my new parents. My heart is racing with anticipation and nerves, but a sense of excitement bubbles up inside me too. I can't believe it's finally happening. Now, I can stop acting and show my true self to them.
Wait, what happens if I reveal my true self to them?
I didn't think of this properly.
Would they still love me if I decide to stop acting and show my true self?
Or would they stop loving me and decide to give me back to the orphanage?
I was thinking that they would still love me for my true self, but as I sat there, remembering all the past rejections I had, I'm not too sure anymore.
I started to become scared.
The thought of being deprived of love again after I finally found it again scared me to the core.
I don't want that.
I don't want that.
I don't want that.
I repeated these four words in my head over and over again, desperately trying to come up with a solution to the predicament.
Finally, after a few minutes of thinking, I thought of something.
Wouldn't it be just fine to continue acting?
If I continue acting, they would never find out my real self, and they will never stop loving me.
But, is this really what I want? Do I really want love to be built upon lies?
I really didn't, but I remembered the past, I cried after getting rejected, a lot of people avoided me due to my gloomy personality, and I never received love.
The past is something I'm truly scared of, I don't want to go back to that state.
Because of that, I finally decided on what to do.
I will continue acting.
The real me isn't enough, but as long as I keep up the act, maybe they'll continue to love me.
It's worth it, even if it means sacrificing my true self.
Because...
Love is worth any lie, any act, any cost.
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Author's note:
End I guess, wasn't planning to end so early, I was planning for at least 4000 words but I stopped at 3801 words since I thought the last line was a pretty good ending.
Don't expect every chapter to be this long. I made it this long because this is a prologue and I want it to be slightly like Oshi No Ko which had a prologue longer than the rest of its episodes at 1 hour long.
Usually, I guess it would be 1000-2000 words but don't worry since I would upload daily or every other day. I don't want to get a burnout after all.
My original plan was to end this chapter with Noah ______, but I decided to just do it in the next chapter instead.
And let me tell you in advance, Noah isn't a reader okay, so he won't know anything about Oshi no ko.
He lives in the same universe as Ai and the rest.
Would you look at that, the Author's Note made my chapter 4000 words long, so I guess I didn't break my promise?
Btw, if you look at the cover, you may already get a clue about what will happen in the future.
That's all, I hope you at least enjoyed the prologue.
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