Chapter 1: Born In Blood, Waking Up In Shit.
The wheezing of the ventilator echoed out into the quiet hospital room. The man, old at 45, shuddered.
"Guess, I overdid it this time," He chuckled inside his head.
Tubes confined him to his bed, but soon that would be done. No priest sat at his bedside to usher him to the next world, no family to mourn his passing. He would die forgotten, not even a gravestone to mark his passing. A paupers grave was his lot, cremation the only mercy left.
"Wasted my life, working those jobs. My life was worthless. Just another cog in the machine. Discarded when I was too broken to work."
Shuddering one last time, he died.
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The acrid stench of feces pierced through the murky darkness behind his eyelids. Groaning, the man rolled to his back. Flinching from the pain, he tried to pry his eyes open. Blinding light and the buzzing of flies assaulted his senses. Raising his head, caused the world to shift. Lowering his head, he shook himself.
"C'mon Sebastian, take the pacifier out of your mouth and put your big boy pants on."
Rising to his feet, he forced his eyes to adapt to the glaring environment he found himself in.
"Looks like I'm in the waste pit for some kind of courtyard," he muttered, "looks well cared for."
The slam of a door drew his attention, "Best go greet whoever lives here. Don't want to be rude."
Ascending the steps towards the front door, he admired the well-kept gardens.
"Someone knows a little landscaping," he grunted, "still those Azaleas aren't gonna bloom if they're pruned like that. And what is with all the fucking Ivy. It's gonna choke everything else out. Somebody needs to do their research."
The clanking of metal and wood drew his attention to the side. A lone spade lodged in the ground, bore witness to torn up ground. Grabbing the shovel, he pulled his lips back from his teeth. A low guttural gurgle signaling his displeasure.
"You should always put your tools away," He spat, "before you move on to something else."
Striding towards the sounds he saw a woman, covered in thick fur. Her dress was torn in deep gashes that exposed more fluff underneath. Three men danced around her, retreating out of her reach as she lashed out with her claws.
"C'mon girlie," The one slurred, "Let us through. We're just here to clear out your pest problem."
"Heh," Another belched, "Maybe afterwards you can thank us nice and proper."
Moving up behind, Sebastian casually brought the flat of the spade down on the head of the man closest. The thug crumpled and did not arise. Sebastian smiled as the rest of the lady's assailants stopped to stare at him.
"You really shouldn't treat a lady like that," he stated.
Stepping forward, he slapped the handle across the one guys face, then swung the shovel like a bat to catch the final ruffian in the nose. Sebastian smirked as he heard the crunch, both men hitting the ground almost simultaneously.
"Go on now," He commanded them, "Get the fuck out of here."
The three men beat a hasty retreat as Sebastion sneered at them, "Do Not Come Back!!!!!"
Turning back to the woman, he planted the shovel into the ground. Leaning on the handle, he examined her. She stood a head short of his 6ft 5in and was built slim and strong. Her hands, though clawed, were slender and long-fingered. Her simple dress was torn in several places, but she still watched him warily. A long slender tail whipped and cracked, displaying her agitation. Her ears favored the cat-like features of her anatomy and she had tusks on either side of her jaw. Her dress concealed most of her legs, but small paws poked out under the hem.
"Why did you help me?" She tried to growl, "What is your purpose here?"
Sebastian chuckled at his new employer's attempt to be intimidating.
"You're my employer," Sebastion stated, "taking out the trash is just one of my duties."
"I didn't hire you." She replied, confusion painted across her face.
"Nope you didn't," Sebastion acknowledged, "the universe or whatever deity sent me here did it on your behalf. And trust me you need me."
"How the hell does that work?"
"Simple," Sebastion explained, "I died in the world I came from. I awoke in a body that is in too good a shape to be mine. You're the owner of the castle I awoke in. An owner that is having a bit of trouble. Therefore there are only three options."
"And what do those happen to be?"
Sebastion's eyes glittered with mischief and amusement, "One. I died and went to hell. In which case you'll hire me to do all the work in my life I hated doing. Thus will be my punishment. Two. I died and went to heaven and you're going to hire me to use my skills in a way I'd enjoy. Thus I'd be rewarded. Three. I was isekai'd into this world, and you'll hire me because you need my skills to assist you."
The woman shook her head, "So, in each case, you end up working for me anyway? And you, therefore, decided to just hire yourself?"
"Heh," Sebastion grunted, "You got it right on the first try. Good Job!"
"And how could you help me?"
"Simple, you need a workman skilled in landscaping, basic repair and upkeep, supply management, and at this point a host of other skills. Plus, you need someone that is capable of directing a truly biblical amount of malice at others. You were way to nice to those three. At several points, as I walked over you could have put them down. But you didn't. That bleeding heart of yours will get you killed. I have no heart left to bleed for such as them"
Looking away from Sebastion, the Neko-woman huffed, "And you can do all that? Seems a bit trite to me."
Sebastian's eyes grew dark. His voice rumbled over to her, his tone little more than a growl.
"I died early because of the jobs I was trained for. I worked 15hr days for years, was always willing to help my fellows. When my body finally quit on me all those I helped vanished. My last breaths were in an empty room, no family to mourn me, no priest for last rites or comfort. My corpse will be cremated, and the ashes buried in a paupers grave. No one will miss or mourn me. I hate my own kind because they forgot me. I was discarded as soon as I was no longer useful. Trust me, I have plenty of malice. Plus the will to spread it around."
Taking a breath, Sebastion put the masking smile back.
Bowing to his boss, he snickered, "What other question do you have? I only wish to know the name of my employer. Otherwise, I've got plenty of work to get too."
"How do you feel about magic?"
"Proper tool for the proper job. If that's magic it's fine by me."
Smiling, She commanded, "Activate."
Feeling the spade shift under his hands, Sebastian took a step back. His eyes sparkled as he watches the shovel dance around him. Snickering as the tool rubbed against him.
"Affectionate isn't she?" Sebastion laughed, "You're such a good shovel, yes you are!" He cooed to the spade.
"How about non-human races?"
"You had me at Non-Human."
"Specifically, How do you feel about Kobolds?"
"You have Kobolds," He squeed, "They're so adorable. Crafty little sorcerous trap masters. Each one a mini huggable dragon."
"My name is Amora Aphrontus," she laughed, "you will address me as 'your ladyship.' Your pay will be a stipend of 20 gold a month, but all room and board are free. Your official title will be The Keeper of the Keys. The Kobolds, Animate objects, and other denizens will be under your command as will any other new hires. Do you have any questions?"
"Not a one. I take it the entryway to the kobolds warren is the concealed door behind you. The one you sought to distract those three twats from."
"I see I am getting my monies worth," Amora gushed, "I will take you to them after you have bathed in something other then foulness."
"A good bath would hit the fucking spot, Your Ladyship," he replied, "don't want to give my new employees that their new boss smells like shit. Lead the way!"
Twenty minutes later found Sebastion luxuriating in a natural hot spring. The warm heat melting the pain in his muscles, grabbing the soap he began to scrub.
"Gotta wash my old life away," he intoned. "This is my place. Any that come here seeking trouble will not be leaving. Those who come seeking peace are always welcome. This will be the new way of things. Thus my old life ends and my new one begins."
Leaning back, he rested. For soon it would be time. Time to show this world what he could accomplish.
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