Chapter 2: 2.
I sat completely still on the plush white sofa staring blankly at the warm amber colored wall directly across from me. The light from the window casted a stripe like shadow over it. There wasn't anything in particular I was staring at, my eyes had just been fixated in one spot for so long that my vision became distorted. Not an uncommon occurrence. I sat there completely motionless in my therapist's office, blocking out the sound of her voice. I could only hear the distinct ticking of the quartz clock, hung on the wall to my left, resonating through my ears.
"Moving will give you a chance at a fresh start Arya. This will be good for you." She told me.
I simply nodded. Even after a month without my parents I still didn't have the energy or will to do anything. I felt as though I was floating through life as an empty shell of a person. My eyes had never felt so heavy, neither my heart nor my limbs. Just the act of getting out of bed became mundane.
I heaved a heavy sigh, and she noticed. I saw her check her watch impatiently from the corner of my eye. She slowly uncrossed her legs, and rose to her feet, moving to stand directly in front of me.
"Our session is done for today Arya." She reached to touch my shoulder, but I involuntarily jerked backward into the couch. She just sighed looking at me through sympathetic eyes, retracting her hand. She watched as I tried to control my breathing. I hadn't accepted physical touch by another human since the accident, when people touched me it just left me a little… troubled. When someone touched me it was as if the wind was being knocked out my lungs all over again. Not only did it hurt physically, but it also brought about dark, cold, and horrifying memories. Confusion, fear, and anger washed over me. I was drowning within myself.
She knew I didn't like to be touched. What the hell did she think was going to happen? I glared at her with my hand on my chest forcing myself to slow my breathing. Once I calmed down, some, I picked up my phone and stomped out of her office, slamming the door behind me.
I walked outside of the building, the cool autumn wind caressing my face, calming me further. I closed my eyes, tilting my head upwards. A breath escaped my lips. The soft brilliance of the sun enveloped the parts of me that weren't covered in thick clothing. The sound of a car horn honking at me brought me out of my daze. Turning my head to the side, I saw my uncle Sebastian sitting in the car looking pointedly at me tapping his watch at me.
"Ready to go?" He asked. Today was the day I was officially moving in with him. That's probably why he wanted me to hurry up and get in the car, he just wanted to get this over with. And even though that sounds insensitive, so did I. The only reason it took this long for me to move in was because the state had to run a "routine" background check on him, and see if his house was fit to hold a seventeen year old female. I also had to be cleared by the hospital.
"Mhm," I said back to him, fastening my seat belt. After settling in my seat, I rested my chin on my hand as I peered through the window, preparing myself for an awkwardly silent car ride. But to my dismay he wanted to spark conversation.
"I just want you to know that although you may think it's soon, you will be starting school tomorrow..." I continued to stare quietly out of the window. He took that as his chance to keep talking at me. "...Uh, a girl your age needs to be around other people that you can relate to. You need to be able to experience regular angsty teenage drama." He chuckled at himself in a hushed tone.
I watched as the trees passed by the window.
He looked over at me for a second before refocusing his attention to the road. I thought I heard him sigh too. "Arya you need to talk to me. I can't help make this easier for you if you never speak."
"You can't." I whispered.
"What was that?"
I sighed, sinking in my seat. "You wouldn't be able to help me even if you wanted to."
The conversation was over before it had even started. The day had almost just started, and I already couldn't be bothered to deal with people. I hate talking about myself and how I'm feeling, because I know no one else can understand. He had to know that it was hard enough living without them, but the constant reminders broke off more pieces of my being than I could take.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He sounded hurt.
"That means, unless the both of your parents were ripped from you in a single minute, you couldn't possibly understand what I'm going through."
"No, your right, I don't, but…"
"So don't you dare try to tell me that talking about it will make it easier for me. And don't you dare even think about telling me it'll get better with time." I took a much needed breath.
"Okay, Arya. Sorry." He slouched in his chair. That shut him up.
I walked down the street peacefully, smelling the enticing scent of bread being freshly made in a family run bakery a few blocks down, loving life. My parents were laughing, and holding hands beside me. I saw my father had kissed my mother on the lips, and I fake gagged at them. We all laughed together in a harmonious mixture of love and serenity as my dad put his arm around my shoulder and ruffled my hair.
We were happy.
Below me I felt a tremor. Seconds passed, and it only got stronger. Shaking the cars, the trees, and even a few buildings started to question their own structural soundness. We tried desperately to stay together, to stay on our feet, but there was no use.
Cracks formed. Slowly, those cracks started to separate, repelling each other like magnets. I looked over at my parents for help, but they themselves were saddled with terror and panic. Pieces of the roads and the sidewalks began collapsing into the earth. Looking down I could see rising levels of the earth's lava. Intense heat threatening us. Without warning, the stone, my parents were standing on, swallowed them. They tried reaching up to me, but they were far. The sound of knowing that you're meeting your unmistakable imminent demise; their screams, will never leave the depths of my memory. I dropped to my knees, disbelief spreading through me. I was beyond shocked. I felt like I was punched in the gut. The wind escaped my lungs, and it refused to come back in. I couldn't breathe, but tears fell effortlessly.
As the concrete beneath me started to fall I closed my eyes, waiting to be reunited with my parents. Just as I took what I expected was my last breath, I felt a hand smoothly wrap around my wrist, and grab tightly. I opened my eyes, confused. Looking down, I saw my body dangling over the rising magnum. A slight sense of fear started to envelop me. When I looked up, I couldn't see who had saved me. The shine of the sun blocked my vision, I only saw the outline of his figure.
"Why did you save me?" I shouted up at him. "Why didn't you just let me die?" Tears were threatening my eyes.
"Because you need to wake up Arya!" He shouted back.
"What do you mean 'wake up'," I asked him as he pulled me up.
"Wake up Arya!" He shook me wildly.
"What are you talking about?! Stop yelling in my ear!"
I pushed him off of me and looked at him, a desperate annoyance clear on my face as I dusted myself off and crossed my arms. He tilted his head to the side, and looked at me with an amused puppy-like expression on his face. I could see him. The relentless sun made his tanned ivory skin glow. His light brown hair was lazily swooped to the right side, and his sideburns connected to the light stubble that rested over his square jaw.
My eyes moved up to look into his. The dark brown of his down turned eyes peered back at me, amused. His thick eyebrows were raised, one higher than the other. His lips, which layed a light mustache above them, were pulled into a smirk. He looked like he couldn't get enough of how confused I was.
"Wake up!" He repeated.
Who was this guy?
When I tried to speak again I could feel myself being dragged away from him. I looked around, but there was nothing holding me. It was as if I was being sucked backward by a giant vacuum. The further away I was from him the more distorted my vision got, but the words of him telling me to wake up barely faded.
"Wake up!"
I opened my eyes to see my uncle Sebastian, holding me by my shoulders, shaking me softly.
"What happened? Where am I?" I asked, rubbing my eyes, sitting up.
"This is your room."
"What?" When I looked around, I was sitting on a bed covered in a pastel-turquoise marble bedspread. The walls surrounding me were the same color, but all of the items of furniture were white. It was spacious and there was a door at the far corner leading to a private bathroom. It was a nice looking room.
"You fell asleep in the car… when we got here you wouldn't wake up, so I had to carry you (up the stairs) into your room." He stood up and moved towards the door. He rolled my luggage into the room, and then sat at the foot of the bed. "When you were sleeping you moved around a lot. You were screaming, and I think you even shed a few tears…"
The memory of the dream flooded my mind, "It was just a nightmare."
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No, it was nothing serious." I waved it off, stretching my arms, standing up. When I stood, I could feel the weight of death on my shoulders again.
"Alright, if you wanna talk I'll be downstairs."
"Okay."
He awkwardly clapped his hands. "I'll uh… I'll leave you to it then."
I pulled my lips into a straight line and nodded.
He slowly backed out of the room, dragging the door behind him to it's close. Once I felt he was a good distance away from the room, I let out a loud sigh, and let myself fall back into the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before forcing my clothes away. Something told me if I didn't get up to put the clothes away then, it would sit in that luggage for weeks, months even. It's not like I had anything else to do though. I had no notifications on my phone, and it was only 2 o'clock, I needed something to keep me busy. Distracted.
A few hours passed before my body was exhausted. If you walked into my room you would see the bed pushed against the wall on the opposite left side of you, and a white mini drawer next to it. The white oak 8-drawer double dresser was placed in the middle of the wall, diagonal from the bed. Right next to it, against the corner, was a desk. Well, technically, it was a floating piece of white oak connected to the wall. A white twill tufted desk chair pushed under it. There was a computer sitting on top of it that led me to think that this room was previously someone else's.
While putting away my clothes I noticed how much black clothing I had. I counted. There were a total of three outfits with any color. I didn't really mind it though. With the way I had been feeling lately I didn't see a point in wearing any colors, or putting any effort into my appearance, or getting up in the morning for a matter of fact. Everything just seemed so pointless now. Eating included. I often visualize myself walking into oncoming traffic, standing in the middle of the highway, yearning for someone to hit me. Before I moved into this house I would walk to the edge of the highway and stare at the passing cars. Hours would pass by before I convinced myself I needed to go back to the hospital. I was too much of a coward to actually end my life like that. But my cowardice didn't stop me from cutting myself. There were lines of thin injuries turning into scars above, and below, the area where the shard of glass pierced through my skin.
It was embarrassing, the scars I gave myself. I hated the sight of them. They were disgusting. To everyone else it probably looked stupid. How could I harm myself in such a manner? How much time must I have on my hands to be wasting it on something like that? But no one could understand how those little cuts made me feel. They made me feel. Most of the time I felt empty. So, every now and then, i would do things like cut myself, or put my hand over something excrutiatingly hot... to make sure I was alive. To see if it was all real. To see if I was still capable of feeling.
"Arya, come get dinner!" Sebastian shouted to me from downstairs. I hadn't realized how deep in thought I was until he called for me. I had been sitting at the foot of my bed staring at the black screen of the television, looking past it really.
I didn't reply to him. I wanted to avoid an awkward dinner, but I couldn't ignore the gurgling sound my stomach was making. I took a deep breath, got up, and walked down the floating stairs, mentaly preparing myself for ultimate awkwardness.
When I walked into the dining room I was taken aback by how 'fancy' it was, or so to say. The room was huge. Each wall was a very distinguishable gray, while the window and door frames were painted white. The long table in the middle of the room, along with it's chairs, were a marble white. The long bench on the side was marbled also. A rectangle shaped chandelier hung just above the table. The long bow and bay window casted a shadow over the table. When I looked outside I saw that it was already dark, and the street lights were turned on.
"Thanks for coming down," Sebastian greeted, setting down two plates at the table.
"Why are you thanking me?" I asked boredly.
"I just wasn't sure how you were feeling, or if you were going to eat dinner. And the doctor said that you had to eat, but you weren't at the hospital, so I was a little worried." Oh that's nice.
"Oh…" I nodded.
"Why weren't you eating?" He was hesitant with his question. Damn. I was praying that he wouldn't ask me that. I didn't have an answer. I don't know why I didn't eat. I guess I just thought it was trivial. What was the point in eating when there was no point in living anymore?
"I don't know. I guess I haven't had much appetite since… well you know." I sat down.
"Yeah."
"What's for dinner?" I said looking down at the contents of my plate. It looked… interesting.
"What do you mean 'what's for dinner'? This is clearly pasta and meatballs." He chuckled.
I looked down. Using my fork, I pushed around the food. " How can you tell where the pasta starts and the meatball ends?" I teased softly, keeping my eyes down.
"Just eat your food you … you rascal." He shot me a playful glare.
"Rascal? Okay, grandpa." He laughed at my comment. And I chuckled too.
It had been so long since I actually laughed. Laughing in that moment felt like whatever was drowning me stopped. And just for a second, a single second, I felt like I could breathe normally.
I took a bite of the food, and immediately lived to regret it. I involuntarily rejected the food, coughing while I used a napkin to spit it out. How could one person create something so heinous?
"Psh, you're exaggerating. It's not that bad," He said, before taking a bite. After he took his bite, he made a weird face, chewing slowly, and forced himself to swallow. I thought I saw him gag a little. Sebastian took a few gulps of his red wine, then looked at me.
"I'm sorry, but I can't eat any of this." I sat back in the chair, and turned my head towards my shoes.
"Chinese?" He asked.
"That sounds like something edible."
He rolled his eyes, and got up to grab his phone. After dialing the closest Chinese restaurant that delivered, he disappeared behind the corner into the kitchen to carry out the order.
I picked my phone up, off of my lap and started playing games. This game Episode to be exact. It allowed me to live as another person, with another life. During my harder, more isolated, times that game was the only thing that helped me escape reality, and all that it didn't have to offer.
"It'll be here in about 20," Sebastian said, returning to his seat.
"Cool," I replied, keeping my focus on the game.
"Arya."
"Hmm?"
"We should talk about school."
I menatally groaned. I sat up in my chair, and put my phone face down on the table, signaling for him to speak further.
"You're still in a sensitive state due to your injury… and the incident. The school knows of the circumstances and we've all agreed that no one will push you too hard." He spoke slowly and clearly.
"I assume there's a point you're tryna get across," I said, fidgeting with my fingers under the table, struggling to maintain eye contact.
"My point is that even though we, the school teachers and I, are going to go easy on you, at first, you should not take that as an advantage to slack off. A girl your age needs education. And you overcoming this… this tragedy would look great on college applications."
My brain couldn't process what had come out of his mouth. There was no neutral indifference anymore, I was angry. I was speechless, there were just no words to respond to what he said.
"Are you serious?" I was baffled.
"Yes, Arya. It would be a good idea to divulge yourself in school, and maybe create some healthy habits while you're at it."
Maybe it was the crippling stress. Or the never-ending anxiety. It could've also been the crushing depression finally breaking me. But I started laughing. I don't know. I laughed like it was the funniest thing I've ever heard, when in reality what he said made me so mad. He stared at me, confused. I don't know why I started laughing to be honest. What I do know is that, that humorless laugh gave me time to think of the words I needed in order to get what I wanted to say out of my system, while also making sense.
After calming down, taking deep breaths, I straightened myself in the chair and looked Sebastian in the eye. A serious expression took root on my face. I could visibly see him swallow when my mood changed.
"Are you seriously trying to tell me to get over what happened with my parents?!" Little by little, my voice rose.
"No, no. That is definitely not what I was trying to say. I just meant…"
"You just meant that I should use this very tragedy to my advantage when it comes to applying for college. That I should play into the fact that I overcame adversity when it really mattered?"
"Well… yeah."
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I scoffed, standing up. I ran my hands over my face, my existence exhausted everytime this guy opened his mouth to "help" me. He was supposed to be a normal one. "Nothing is wrong with me. I'm just thinking about this with a silver lining."
"THERE IS NO DAMN SILVER LINING! ALL OF THE LININGS ARE FUCKING BLACK!"
"Arya, I…"
"I DON'T HAVE PARENTS ANYMORE! It'S ONLY BEEN ONE MONTH SINCE I LOST THEM! ONE!" I was screaming through tears. I hated crying, but I couldn't help it. I felt weaker than my new normal. Everytime I acknowledge their death out loud I cry. There was no logical reason I could come up with that could explain why he would say that in the first place.
Sebastian had no more words to say to me. He sat in his chair looking up at me. I stood there weeping silently as he watched, not knowing what to do. Time couldn't have been moving any slower than it was at that moment. Two minutes was two days.
"No matter how much time has passed, I don't ever want to hear something like that again. My parents just died, and you want me to get over it before I've even had the proper amount of time to mourn my loss. That's not something I can just forget about so easily. Even if you have already come to terms with their death, you need to take into consideration that they were my parents. Not my cousins. Not my aunt or uncle. Not anything besides what they are...were. My parents." I huffed. My breaths had become erratic, and I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. The wound wasn't fully healed. According to the doctors, I had a fast acting immune system, and I was a faster healer than expected, so I recovered enough to be released. I sat down, picking up my phone, returning to my game in hopes that it would clear my mind.
A few minutes had passed when the doorbell rang.
"That must be the chinese food," Sebastian said, clearing his throat after. When he pulled out the money I snatched it from his hand without warning. I wanted any excuse I could get to be the one that walked away first. When, in retrospect, I could've gone to my room.
"I got it." I walked to the door, mentally scolding myself for being so cold to him. He took me into his home when he didn't have to. On that short walk, I convinced myself that, when I got back to the table, I had to apologize to him. While opening the door I sighed and looked down, running a hand down my face.
"What? Not happy to see me?" I heard a voice ask, amusement clear in his words. He chuckled at himself.
I shook my head, and waved my arms, embarrassment plain in my features. "No, sorry. I didn't s…" I swallowed my tongue when I saw his face.
"Didn't what?" He said, raising an eyebrow, a smirk on his face.
"Oh, uh, I didn't see you... there, standing there. Sorry." I shook my head again, rubbed my eyes, and blinked a few times before looking at him again. I couldn't believe it.
"It's okay." He handed the bag of chinese food to me, and slowly took the money from my hand. All the while, my eyes never left his face, analyzing his every feature as though he was a piece of artwork. He stood up straighter, never dropping the smirk from his face, and put his hand on my shoulder. My skin was sensitive, and my usual reaction to touch itched at the surface, but my body involuntarily relaxed under his broad hand. I barely noticed. My eyes were completely focused on his face. I just wanted to make sure. He gently pushed me back a few steps, then grabbed the door knob, without saying another word.
"Goodnight," He said before closing the door, and disappearing into the night. But there was no doubt in my mind:
That was the guy from my dream.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone