Chapter 26: 26
55Chapter 26: ASTTWT 15: Draco, the Dursleys & the Dau
And so the Tables Were Turned …, part fifteen: Draco, the Dursleys & the Daughter
For a moment, all was quiet.
Draco could not believe what Harry had just said. "Excuse me? The Dursleys? The bloody fucking Dursleys!? You're fucking dumping me with those gits?!"
What the fuck was going on?! First, it had been his 20th birthday, and instead of spending it just the two of them, alone, as had originally been planned, they had agreed to attend the Weasley family dinner. Second, Harry had learnt that Pywercaseley was coming for them, and to get pregnant Draco out of the Manor he had lied and said that he was cheating on him with Cho. And now, when they were finally patching things up, when they were finally getting somewhere again, he was sending him off to the Dursleys?!
"Please, don't get mad," Harry was quick to beg, "I know it's not exactly what we've discussed, but as long as Pywercaseley's intent on storming the Manor we have to keep you out of here."
"Like Hell we are!" Draco yelled, red in the face.
"Please, Draco, try to understand. It is for your own good!"
"My own good?! My arse! This is just yet another one of your egotistic attempts to protect me when I don't need to be protected—when all I want is to stay here with you! Did you even consider what I want?"
"Of course I did! But it's not about that! This is about your safety! And our baby's safety! Look at yourself, Draco! You can hardly move and you need help just getting out of the bed in the morning! Do you really think you can protect yourself from the Death Eaters when you're as immobile as that? Huh? Don't you want Joseph to be safe, Draco?"
The blonde opened his mouth to give an acidic retort, but then he realised that Harry was right. As long as he had that huge belly to carry around he would be of no good to Harry or anyone else that needed protection. He could not even protect himself, just like Harry said, so how was he to protect his family? Reluctantly, he admitted to himself that his lover indeed had a point and agreed to go to the Dursleys—and if they treated him all right he would indeed stay for the remainder of his pregnancy. But if they were not courteous enough, he would not stay for nothing.
Harry was not very pleased with those conditions, but seeing as it seemed to be the only way to make Draco go, he accepted them.
Since it had already been proven that the fireplace in the Dursleys' parlour was not fit for Floo powder journeys—and the Dursleys did not like them to arrive unannounced and materialise out of thin air—the front door was the only option. Therefore, they needed to take drastic measures to cover up the fact that a pregnant man was going to take up residence at 4 Privet Drive for six weeks.
Very reluctantly and feeling totally ludicrous, Draco allowed himself to be escorted up to the Dursleys' door wearing an enormous flowery dress, black court shoes, an embarrassingly old-lady-looking red hat, and enough makeup to make a dozen teenage girls feel smart and spry. Say what you will about Harry, but he had no fucking clue when it came to girls.
Harry's aunt stared in shock and disgust at him as she opened the door, and he could not really blame her. He looked completely awful. Just awful. Horrible, even. Terrifyingly ugly.
"Er … hi," he said insecurely as Harry pushed him through the door, not even bothering to sound like a girl.
Petunia Dursley stared at his stomach with disliking little eyes. She pursed her lips and decorously straightened her neck. Looking at Harry, she said, "Vernon would like a word with you. He's in there." She pointed one of her long fingers towards the parlour.
Harry looked at Draco, and with his hands on Draco's belly said, "Would you like to stay here and wait for me or would you rather come with me in there?"
Draco gazed down the short hall. "I'm not sure I want to go anywhere looking like this," he muttered with a pout. "But I don't want to just stand around here, either. It's difficult to breathe when I'm standing up."
Harry forced a reassuring smile. "If you're not pleased with your disguise, please feel free to change it," he joked.
"You don't have to say that twice." Draco withdrew his wand from inside the dress. Petunia gasped in fright and made Draco shift his attention to her again. "It's all right, I'm not gonna use it on you," he promised in an almost friendly tone of voice. "I'm just going to change outfits."
Ponting the wand at himself, he said, "Colluthia!" The hideous flowery dress was exchanged for a pair of enormous black maternity trousers and a nice, soft chequered flannel shirt in white and blue. He wiped the makeup off his face with another easy spell and kicked off the court shoes.
"There, that's much better. Now, let's go see your uncle."
They walked into the parlour, where Vernon Dursley was sitting in his favourite armchair by the small fireplace and Dudley seemed to have moved into the sofa. He was currently wolfing down a bowl of butter-and-cheese flavoured popcorn. Draco felt his mouth watering at the sight of them but restrained himself.
Vernon's small beetle eyes narrowed as he saw Harry with his life partner and looked totally disgusted at the obvious fact that they were having intimate relations with one another. "So, you're here," he stated.
"Yeah," Harry said in a stiff, uneasy voice. Draco could tell that he was doing his best to repress the hatred that he felt for these people. "I can't thank you enough for taking in Draco for a while, it's really … er … nice of you. I promise you that he will be of no trouble at all—he won't do anything funny whatsoever. Will you, Dracums?"
Draco started. "Huh? Oh, yeah. I mean—no. Nothing funny at all."
Vernon's eyes narrowed further.
"Anyway, if there is any trouble at all, you can just call me … I don't have a phone, but Draco will show you how to contact me. I'll check in on him at least once a week. And, I should probably warn you about this—" he leant in a little closer to Vernon and whispered so that Draco would not hear, but he heard anyway "—he can be real moody and testy because of all the hormones, but just give him something to eat and ignore him and you'll be fine."
"Hey!" Draco said. "I'm not a fucking weeping-machine or nothing if that's what you're implying!"
"No, you're an eating-machine," Harry sighed. "Anyway, if there's nothing else … I need to go."
He gave Draco a quick kiss on the cheek, said bye to everyone, and went out the front door.
Draco stood in indecision for a while. Harry's aunt and uncle were watching him warily as if they expected him to turn them all into frogs any second. And he would have to put up with this for six whole weeks?! Man, he would die there—of boredom!
After a few awkward moments in the spotlight, Draco turned towards Harry's cousin—and spotted the funny-looking box with moving pictures. Fascinated, he moved closer to the couch on which Dudley was sitting. The fat young man had temporarily stopped eating and was staring at him with his mouth hanging open. A piece of popcorn was stuck to his lower lip.
"What's that?" Draco asked, and pointed at the lighted box.
Nobody answered at first.
"I-it's a TV set," Dudley stuttered after a while.
Draco frowned. "TV set? What's that? What does it do?"
"Er …" Dudley stared at him as if he was mad or something. "It shows movies and stuff … TV shows …"
Draco met his gaze. "Movies? Never heard of it. How do you make the pictures move without magic?"
All three members of the Dursley family twitched at the word 'magic.'
But eventually, Dudley swallowed hard and tried his best to explain to Draco how a TV worked. The blonde listened in fascination and marvelled over the cleverness that the Muggles possessed. Just to think of such a device! And to be able to create it without the faintest trace of magic! That was just amazing. Brilliant, even.
Carefully, he walked up to the TV and stretched out his hand in front of him. Trembling slightly, he touched the surface of the screen and received a small electric shock—Pop! Draco cried out in surprise and backed away. Then he began to laugh out loud, holding his hand over his stomach. He laughed so hard that it hurt in the pit of his stomach, but he just could not stop.
The Dursleys all stared at him as if he was stark, raving mad.
Draco touched the screen again, got another shock, and laughed even harder.
And as if finally realising that Draco was human just like him, Dudley began to chuckle quietly.
He had never had so much fun in his life, and it seemed kind of ironic that he should have it planning his wedding. Never in his life had he even imagined that he'd ever get married. That certainly had not been one of his fantasies when he had been head over heels in love with Hermione. And now that he was seeing a bloke, too!
Ginny willingly—and happily!—helped them with the planning and all the preparations, something that Ron had hoped Harry would have been there for, being his best man and all, but Harry had his own preparations to do at the moment.
A stab of guilt and shame twisted his guts and heart. He should be helping Harry instead of fooling around. Jonathan and he could get married at any time, but Harry would only need to die once for it to be permanent. Therefore, he should be helping them in getting the protection shield up before his bloody rogue brother for a Dark Lord surprised The Boy Who Lived with an irreversible curse between the eyes.
"Ron? Ron, are you all right?"
Jonathan was watching him with a worried wrinkle between his eyebrows. Although he was trying his best to be serious, he still looked extremely ludicrous and comical. It was just impossible for that man to look stern and grave.
Ron forced a small smile. "Yeah, I'm a'right," he lied. Leaning in closer to the kitchen table, he said, "What have we got?"
"Well, we've taken care of the food and the music," Ginny informed him, "but we've still got a few details left."
"Such as …?"
"Well, for one, shouldn't you be having bachelor parties if you're getting married?"
Ron blinked.
She was looking at him with a merry expectation.
"Er … bachelor parties?" he mumbled blankly.
"Yeah, to celebrate your last night as a free man," Ginny elaborated.
Ron squirmed a bit. "You make it sound as if we're going away to gaol or something …"
His sister laughed and slapped his shoulder in a friendly manner. "Don't you worry, Ron! They don't imprison people for getting married! No, what I meant was, this is tradition. Might be more of a Muggle tradition than a wizard tradition, but it's catching on, you know. Jonathan, what do you say? You want a bachelor party together with your mates before settling down with this nitwit for ever?"
She was joking—Ron knew that she was joking—but to him, it sounded as if she truly believed that they would eventually be unhappy together and that there would be nothing to do about it then. That was probably supposed to make him brood about his future and reconsider everything, but it did not work. He had never been this sure about anything in his life; he loved Jonathan and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. End of conversation.
Jonathan laughed. "Yeah, I would just like to see their faces! If I invited them to a bachelor party they'd think I'd gone hetero on them and desert me for ever! And if I told them I'm marrying a bloke, they'd want to know which planet I'd marry him on, because as far as they know there is no place on Earth you can marry another bloke. So I think we'll skip that tradition, shall we?"
Ron planted a fleeting kiss on his cheek. "I couldn't agree with you more. Since my brothers would feel totally awkward coming to an all-blokes party with not a female stripper in sight there pretty much is no other choice than to forget the idea altogether. Harry is busy creating a new force field around the Manor and Draco's too pregnant to participate in any festivities. The only person I can think of inviting besides them is Neville Longbottom, and just imagine the mess we'd be in with him for our only guest!"
The first three days at the Dursleys' were quite dreary and tiring, because they kept gasping and backing away as soon as he made the smallest movement, and the words 'magic,' 'wizard,' 'conjure,' and 'spell' elicited strong reactions that made him start in surprise.
Eventually, he came to the conclusion that it was best not to use them at all, because it was getting boring to watch them shriek in fright and cover their faces in defence—except for Dudley, who covered his buttocks instead. According to Harry, this was because of an incident nine years ago when Hagrid had come to collect Harry and take him shopping in Diagon Alley in preparation for his first year at Hogwarts.
Draco remembered that day clearly. It had been his first encounter with Harry, at Madam Maulkin's. They had both been fitted for their very first Hogwarts robes. Funny to think that they had only been small boys back then, completely oblivious of each other's identities and backgrounds, and now they had a family together.
Breakfast on the fourth morning brought nothing new for Draco. He asked Petunia's permission to make his own breakfast as usual, because he noticed that she, behind all that disgust and condescendence, appreciated that he at least asked her first. So he set about bringing out a small pot for his eggs with his wand.
They still had not got used to his using magic for cooking yet, but he ignored their tensed postures and wary eyes and simply went about his business as always in the mornings. He put the tip of his wand inside the pot, and water immediately started to pour out of the tip of it. When the pot was filled, he directed his wand at the refrigerator.
"Accio eggs." The package came flying out of the fridge with moderate speed and landed safely on the kitchen counter. He made three eggs fly into the pot of mildly boiling water.
While waiting for the eggs to boil, he magically made two sandwiches for himself and cut a grapefruit into four equally sized quarters. As he sat down at the table, ready to eat his breakfast, he noticed that Dudley was ogling his food. Dudley himself was only allowed a quarter of a grapefruit and half a slice of wholemeal bread.
Draco ignored him and began to eat his food with spirited grace.
When he had eaten half his meal, he stopped temporarily and moaned with irritation. The other people at the table instantly turned their attention to him, afraid that he would curse them.
"Ooooh, man, I'm so horny!" Draco complained with no regard for their will to hear this or not.
Petunia dropped her tea spoon and Vernon, whom was turning the page in his newspaper, accidentally ripped off the whole thing. Dudley simply stared at him with his mouth hanging open.
"What did you say, boy?" Vernon prodded with great dislike.
"I said I'm horny," Draco repeated, well aware that they were totally disgusted with his and Harry's relationship. Then, struck by a malicious impulse, he turned to Dudley. "Dudley, would you please help me?"
The fat boy-man whimpered but did not move a muscle.
His parents had frozen in fear.
Draco strained to keep a straight face, but on the inside, he was dying with laughter and glee. "Well?" he said to Dudley. "Are you going to help me or not?"
Dudley suddenly managed to shake his head feverishly. "No … no, no! D-d-do it yourse-self!"
"But that's no fun!" Draco protested exasperatedly.
At that moment, Vernon rose to his full height and slammed his paper down on the table. "That is enough!" he thundered, his face purple with anger and indignation. "You will not make my son a … a … one of you!"
Draco burst into a fit of laughter. "Relax! I'm only kidding!" he said after forcing himself to stop because it was giving him a stitch in the side. The baby kicked as if to say "That was a good one, Dad!"
Draco looked at them one by one. "Did you really think I'd persuade your son into giving me head? You're ruddy mad! I wouldn't dream of doing that! I wouldn't want him near me even if he was the last man on the planet!" He burst out laughing again. "You people are just something …"
He needed something to do, something to amuse him. Or else he would not stand another day in that house. They all treated him as if he was a piece of garbage that stank of decay. Most of the time, they ignored him, and that was fine. For a while. But then he got bored with them. So he decided to try and persuade them into engaging in a game of Exploding Snap or wizard's chess after washing up.
When he was standing in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, with the door open, Dudley passed in the hallway. "Hey!" Draco called after him, and after a few moments' hesitation he came back and stood in the doorway. Draco was watching his reflection in the mirror. "Doesn't Muggle mirrors talk back at you when you speak?" he asked him.
Dudley blinked stupidly. "What? Talk back?"
"Yeah. Magical mirrors always talk back at you, and they're always so bloody condescending. It's like talking to your father with the only exception that he's got my face."
Dudley actually chuckled a little. Draco found that encouraging.
"Wanna see for yourself?" he asked the fat boy.
Dudley's face turned pale grey with worry and fear. "Wha-what do you mean?" he stuttered.
"Let me see … What was that spell again? Ah! Miragio!"
Golden sparks shot out of the wand tip and hit the mirror. For a moment, the glass surface seemed to melt, but then it went back to its original state. Draco turned to Harry's cousin. "Now watch this." Taking a deep breath, he faced his reflection in the mirror. Boy, he bloody hated magical mirrors. "Ugh, I look awful today. I feel ugly and fat. I have to go on a diet."
"Oooh, don't be so pessimistic, dear!" his reflection encouraged. "You look terrific with that healthy podge!"
Draco turned back to the stunned Dudley. "See? They always have to talk back at you." To the mirror, he said, "Yeah … maybe I aren't half that bad. Maybe I am okay as I am? I think I'm going to stick to my normal diet and just be happy with myself as I am."
"That's the spirit!" the mirror replied.
Dudley carefully edged forward to have a better look at the mirror. "Do-does it really talk? Really?"
"Yeah, it talks too much!" Draco said with emphasis, rolling his eyes. "Wanna have a go?" Leaning in closer to the fat boy, he added in a whisper: "But don't tell anyone, okay? I'm not supposed to do this. It's against wizard law to bewitch Muggle Artefacts and I could get in real nasty trouble if the Ministry learnt that I had put a hex on a mirror."
To Draco's great surprise, they had a lot of fun with the hexed mirror, and Dudley seemed to get increasingly relaxed in his company. Draco was glad, because he did not think he would have been able to keep up his spirits for much longer without a single friendly face around. So if he could not have his family and his friends there with him, he had to make the best of the situation and try to get the Dursleys to at least accept him and be courteous.
When they both grew tired of the irritating mirror, Draco reversed the spell. He suggested different wizard games that they could engage in, but Dudley was way too much of a coward to dare a try at any of them, so (pouting) Draco agreed to come downstairs and watch some TV instead. But before he had reached the sofa—
Draco cried out in fright as he saw the half-melted, half-burnt orange creature pass outside the window and startled both Dudley and Vernon, whom was sitting in an armchair by the fireplace. "What the Hell are they doing here?!" he yelled, and hysterically pointed at the windows.
Vernon shot up from his chair and swirled around towards the windows, apparently expecting the very worst if even a wizard was afraid of it. But it had already gone.
Shaking to the bone, Draco pulled out his wand and said, "Accio leather bag!", and the small brown bag containing his Floo powder came flying down the stairs from his trunk. As soon as he had it in his hand, he went to the electric fireplace and forced it open with a quick spell.
Behind him, Vernon came thundering in fury. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?!"
But Draco was not listening. He directed his wand at the inside of the fake fireplace. "Incendio!"
Flames erupted from the tip of his wand and began to lick the walls of the fireplace.
Remembering what had happened the last time someone used this spell, Vernon stopped dead in his tracks and just stared at the fire.
Draco tore the leather bag open in a furious frenzy and grabbed half a handful of Floo powder. Without thinking twice, he threw it into the fire. Great green flames sprang up. "HARRYYYY!" Draco roared into the fire. "You get your arse over here right now!"
Since he had used less powder than usual, the green flames died in an instant and were replaced by much smaller flames the regular colour.
It was only a moment before Harry appeared out of thin air behind and slightly to the left of him.
"What is it?" he asked.
Vernon sank back down into his armchair at the sight of Harry Apparating in, and Dudley was cowering against the wall, making pathetic little squeaking noises.
Petunia appeared in the doorway from the kitchen, her face pale with fear.
Draco went for Harry's neck. "What the hell are they doing here!?" he growled, beside himself with fury caused by his deep fear of the Forgettes.
Harry blinked sheepishly. "Who? The Dursleys? They live here, Draco …"
"Not them! The Forgettes! What the fuck are the Forgettes doing here?!"
It took Harry a few seconds to digest his words. "The Forgettes?" he echoed. "They're here? Where?" He started to look around the room, which obviously frightened his relatives even more.
Draco pointed at the windows. "I saw them out there!" he meowled. "Make them go away!"
Harry went out the back door and calmly took a turn around the house. He did not come back for more than five minutes. "They're gone now," he reported as he had closed the back door behind himself once more. "Apparently they thought it was their duty to guard you wherever you went, but I told them it was superfluous here. This house is already protected by the strongest magic there is, Dumbledore has seen to that." He put an arm around Draco. "How are you feeling, baby? You look perkier than last I saw you."
"I'm fine," Draco said sulkily, "but I'm bored."
"Bored? I thought you brought loads of stuff from home to keep you busy."
"Yeah, I did, but nobody wants to play with me. It's no fun to play Exploding Snap all by yourself …"
"I'll play a game with you before I leave, all right? The others can watch and see for themselves that it's not dangerous, then maybe they'll play with you next time."
Draco sighed. "Oh, all right." For some reason he did not want Harry there right then. Harry had dumped him off there, so Harry was to blame for his boredom and his feeling of being stranded, therefore he did not want the raven-haired boy to make him happy and make forget that he was pissed with him. Stupid, but that was how he felt.
Harry left twenty minutes later—said he had urgent business to take care of—and Draco resorted to watching films, soaps, game shows, sports, and cartoons on TV. At first, he was utterly unimpressed by it all, but after a while he found himself caught up in it. A few days later, he would not miss a single episode of 'Days of Our Lives'—and that was quite bad … quite bad, indeed …
"How was he?" Piper asked worriedly as Harry returned from the Dursleys.
"He seemed a bit angry with me for just leaving him there like that," Harry replied gloomily, heavy at heart with guilt. "I'm concerned that six weeks at my relatives' house will make him hate me again, and I honestly don't know if he'll forgive me this time."
Piper laughed. "You're overreacting!" she said with conviction. "Draco can twist everything around to his advantage—he'll make use of his six weeks in Surrey, believe me."
So he simply had to take her word for it. But still, he was anxious. Sure, they had grown up together, sister and brother, but she did not know Draco the way Harry knew him. She thought she did, obviously, but she was wrong. She did not quite know him at all.
The creation of a new and stronger magical force field around the Manor took great amounts of effort and patience—and it took time. Since there were only three of them—Harry, Piper, and Yousuke—the shield of repelling spells and other forms of protection magic was very slowly coming along. They worked night and day to get it ready before Draco returned home with the new baby and had no time for anything else.
It would have been much easier and much quicker if they had had more help, but Blaise was still missing, Ron and Jonathan had a wedding to plan, and Yousuke's younger sister, Magami, was a Squib.
At first, Harry had been dreading working together with Piper and her hyper husband, but it actually turned out to be a smoothly running co-operation. For once, Piper did not joke around and try new spells she had just invented, but stuck to the old, tried ones. And Yousuke, always the courteous one, worked harder and more efficiently than Harry would have thought possible for any human being. He guessed it was because of his Japanese heritage—the traditions, the culture, the strife …
But it still was not running fast enough. After a month's hard work, they still had plenty to do, and Draco was due in only fifteen days. What was worse was, beside that one visit during Draco's fourth day at Privet Drive, he had not been able to keep his promise to come visit him once a week.
Only one visit in four whole weeks. Draco must be furious with him.
When there was only twelve days to go, it finally looked as if they were nearing completion of the force field, so Harry decided it was safe enough to pay Draco a visit. His stomach churning with anxiety, he Apparated to Little Winging. Drawing a deep sigh for comfort, he rang the doorbell at the Dursleys.
Uncle Vernon opened the door. When he saw Harry on the doorstep, he scowled and stepped aside. "It's about time you showed up," he muttered, and began to walk back in to the parlour.
Harry frowned. "Why? Has he given you any trouble?"
He felt as if he was talking about James and not Draco; his choice of words suited a small child better than a grown, pregnant man.
Uncle Vernon did not stop when he answered: "No, he's actually been quite good, but I'm getting tired of seeing him just sitting there … Could make himself more useful …"
Harry wondered what he meant by 'just sitting there'—he had not gone all catatonic, had he?
But instead of uttering his concerns, he snorted and said, "Surely you're not expecting someone who's nine months pregnant to do chores around the house?"
Uncle Vernon swirled around, his face a purplish red with semi-suppressed anger. "No, of course I'm not! But it's just that … Before you came here with him, Dudley was doing just fine with his program, he was exercising and eating right, but since your … boyfriend … came along, he's been ditching his program altogether!"
That was a total surprise to Harry. Draco having an influence on Dudley? Was that even possible? The only reason Harry could see for a deterioration of his cousin's dietary goals was if Draco had scared him into fat-and-sugar indulgences. But when he walked into the Dursleys' small living room, he understood what Uncle Vernon meant.
Stunned, he stopped dead a few steps inside the door.
Draco and Dudley were sitting in front of the TV, both happily staring at the screen with huge, fascinated eyes and mouths hanging open. Now and then, they commented on the scenes in the soap they were watching and laughed in a quite palsy manner. They actually seemed to genuinely enjoy each other's company.
Harry walked up to Draco and stood at his side, so as not to block the TV. "Hey, baby," he said, and forced a smile.
There was no reaction whatsoever from the blonde.
Harry frowned. "Hello? Anybody home in there?"
Still no reaction.
He hit Draco on the head and said, "Draco, excuse me, I'm here now!"
The blonde blinked stupidly a few times and then looked up. His face lit up, and he stretched out his arms in warm welcome, obviously too big to be able to stand up and greet him. "Harry!" he exclaimed happily. "I've missed you! How's the shield coming?"
"It's fine," Harry said, and squeezed down beside the blonde. He immediately received a hug so hard he lost his breath. Feeling a bit awkward, he carefully edged Draco away. "Er … that's quite enough, thank you. So … how are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm great! Never been better! We've been watching loads of great shows and films and stuff, and I've become totally oblivious of all the tiring symptoms of the pregnancy! Isn't it great?"
If he heard Draco say 'great' one more time, he would puke. "Looks to me as if you've become oblivious of everything," he pointed out in a disliking tone.
"No, no, no, you're overreacting," Draco objected half-heartedly, because he had already turned his attention back to the TV.
Harry gazed at the soap on the TV. It seemed like utter shit at first glance, but Draco was apparently hooked on it. He hesitated for a while. Then he sighed. "All right, if watching the goggle box makes you happy, then please, keep watching. At least it takes your mind off everything else, and it keeps you busy until your scheduled delivery. But don't let it become an addiction, alright?"
"Huh?" Draco mumbled.
Harry sighed again. "Never mind. Look, I need to get back. Take care of yourself, all right?" He kissed the top of the blonde's head and got up from the couch.
"Yeah, send my love to James, will you?"
"He's gone missing again."
"Oh. Send him an owl, then."
Harry shook his head in resignation. That blonde was just something else …
As he prepared to leave, he noticed that Uncle Vernon was looking like he wanted a word. He went over to him.
"Look … is there many days left now?"
"Twelve."
"And once he's … had his baby … he will be out of here?" he prodded.
"Well, he might stay another few days, just to get some rest. It's a shorter journey here from London than it is back to the Manor," Harry informed him in a casual, but stiff way.
Uncle Vernon nodded. "I guess that's all right." He was quiet for a while. Then he looked at Harry in a whole new way—almost as if he saw him for the first time. "Bringing him here was actually a good idea. I've never seen Dudders this happy before. Thank you."
Harry raised both eyebrows in astonishment. Uncle Vernon had never thanked him for anything before! Feeling more awkward now than ever, and blushing with embarrassment, he cleared his throat and muttered a "You're welcome" before leaving Privet Drive.
He had never thought that Draco's presence in Little Winging would actually be positive.
The potion was ready. Finally, after more than two months of sneaking around trying to hide his other identity from Harry, the potion was ready.
He used something called The Feather Spell—Layato Temporia—to make his enormous belly feather light, which enabled him to move around with the ease of a fit, well-exercised man. When he was sure that the Dursleys were all busy and would not disturb him, he lied and said he needed to lie down a bit. He told them he would be in his room—Potter's old room, apparently—napping. But as soon as the door had closed behind him, he Disapparated.
He Apparated just outside the tapestry of his father in the south wing on the second floor. He need not worry about getting caught, because no-one else currently taking up residence at the Manor knew about the room hidden behind it.
With a cold sneer on his face, he tapped the second button from the top on his father's travelling cloak and waited. The portrait sprang alive, and his father smirked down at him with pride in his silver eyes. "Son, I can sense your evil energy—come to finish that bastard child of yours, have you? Good, good. You may pass."
The tapestry swung aside, and Draco entered the ladder room.
It was quite difficult to descend the ladder with his huge belly, but it was manageable now that it was at least feather light. He just needed to mind his step. And soon he would be rid of the bloody thing and be back to normal again.
On his way to the Potion Chamber, he stopped by the smallest of the damp stone chambers to grant his so-called 'best friend' a quick greeting. "Hello, Blaise, hangin' all right?" he asked, and laughing viciously, he continued down the stone tunnel.
Once drunk, the potion would begin to work immediately. But it needed three hours to kill off the foetus entirely since he had carried it full-term.
So, in three hours' time … just three hours …
Harry passed through the parlour and accidentally cast a glance at the old grandfather clock standing in one corner. At first, he did not register what it said, but as he prepared to step back outside, he stopped dead and swirled back around. Blinked a few times.
It was not possible.
Ron had given him a brilliant idea the other day when Harry paid him and Jonathan a visit to help them pick out a wedding cake. The Weasleys had a special grandfather clock at the Burrow which showed the whereabouts of all nine family members at all times. Instead of numbers, the clock featured different sites—such as 'home,' 'travelling,' 'lost,' and 'work.' Ron had suggested that Harry get a similar one to keep tabs on James when he disappeared.
"Might help you find him quicker," Ron had said.
And Harry had instantly liked the idea. He had picked up the clock only yesterday. Just as he had requested, it featured twelve different sites of his choice: 'Manor,' 'Burrow,' 'hospital,' 'Ministry,' 'lost,' 'travelling,' 'Hogwarts,' 'Auror school,' 'future,' 'past,' 'Privet Drive,' and 'Ron's.'
The arm with Draco's name was currently on Manor.
"But that's impossible!" Harry protested aloud to himself. Thinking that he must be imagining things, he shut his eyes for two seconds and then opened them again.
Draco's name was now on Privet Drive.
And there it stayed.
Harry shook the confusion off. He had imagined it, was all. Of course Draco could not have been at the Manor! He did not even have the strength to get up from the bloody couch to give Harry a kiss!
But the incidence still made him worry.
They were doing the finishing of the force field that day. Another few hours and it would be done, good as new. He had hardly worked on it for an hour when a loud whistle sounded.
It was time!
Piper had set the whistle to go off both at the Dursleys and in every room of the Manor as well as the garden surrounding it to make sure they both heard it.
Harry immediately left for the Dursleys'. Draco had somehow managed to get up on his feet when he arrived and was waiting for him with excitedly flushed cheeks. He smiled happily when Harry put his arm around the blonde and transported them both to St Mungo's. He was very surprised, and at the same time somewhat unnerved, by his relatives' jittery behaviour as they left, because it made him kind of awkward to think that there was a possibility they actually cared for his baby.
The midwives had prepared a room for them and were waiting impatiently in the waiting room. As they helped Draco down on a stretcher, they began to explain what they were going to do. "We've never had a man deliver a baby before, so we don't know exactly how to perform this," the head nurse told them. "But lately we've started to study Muggle medicine and Muggle methods in different fields, and we have a surgeon here who's become quite talented at caesareans …"
Draco blinked up at her in bewilderment. "Mu-Muggle methods? W-what do you mean? And what do you need a surgeon for? W-what's a caesarean?" he stuttered, terror burning in his pale eyes.
"It's a simple procedure, you do not need to be worried," the nurse promised with a casual smile. "I don't know exactly—"
"I know what it is," Harry said. "They mean they're gonna sedate you and open up your stomach to bring the baby out that way," he explained to Draco in as calm a voice as he could muster.
The blonde's eyes widened with terror. "Cut me open?! Cut me open?! I'm not gonna bloody let them cut me open!"
The midwives exchanged knowing looks.
Before they could sedate Draco against his will, Harry said, "Maybe we should just call your sister. She's done this before." And, not at all to his surprise, Draco nodded vigorously.
So Piper was brought in to perform the delivery. She used the same complex spells as last time, and the midwives watched in fascination as she magically made Draco's stomach liquid. It was just for her to stick her hands inside and carefully lift out the baby, as if her brother's belly was nothing but the still surface of a clear lake. As soon as she had transferred the baby over to one of the midwives, she made his stomach acquire substantial form once again.
When that was done, she used a homemade incantation to deflate it and make it go back to its original non-pregnant state. He sure did not look as if he'd been fat with child just a second ago; he looked as if he had spent the past nine months at the gym.
Which meant that he looked just like he had always done.
Harry could not help but bend down and kiss him, happy to have his Dracums back to normal.
Piper gave a squeal. "Oooh, how incredibly cuuuute she is!" she exclaimed, and holding up the tiny little creature the young men had created through their love for one another, she smiled at Draco. "You've just had a beautiful little daughter, Drakie-poops! You've given birth to a beautiful, healthy little baby girl!"
Both Harry and Draco were taken aback by those news.
"A what?!" Draco shrieked, as if the prospect of raising a girl was the worst punishment in the world.
"A baby girl! Look!" Piper carefully put her in Draco's arms.
Draco looked down at her with wonder. Harry felt the same way. A daughter.
"But … but I thought … Joseph?" the blonde said in lack of understanding.
"Yeah, I thought so, too," Harry said. "Maybe he isn't our son, then."
They were silent for a while, watching the baby girl with love and affection.
"So, what should we call her, then?" Draco asked. "We can't exactly call her Joseph …"
Harry laughed. "No, I guess not. But how about Josephine? That's close enough."
"Yeah. I like that. Josephine. Joz."
"Joss?"
"With a Z," Draco confirmed. "Sounds like a decent nickname, doesn't it?"
"Gee, she's only three minutes old and you've already given her a nickname!" Harry joked, and they both laughed.
Josephine yawned and went to sleep.
It was the weirdest wedding any of them had ever been to. The ceremony was conducted at the Ministry of Magic in a special hall presented by the Department of Legal Unions and Break-ups. An altar-like stage took up half the room, elevated three feet above the rest, and in the middle of the stage stood Ron and Jonathan together with the Head of the Department of Legal Unions and Break-ups (the only person with the authority to unite magical creatures in marriage), Dumbledore (their head witness; all magical creatures needed to have a head witness sign a special form, because their family members and others present would not do), best man Harry and bride's maid Jessica (Jonathan's older sister), and the Minister for Magic himself. Of course, there was not exactly a bride, but they still had the right to a bride's maid.
On both sides of the stage, facing the couple, were chairs provided for the family members of both spouses. On the right-hand side was Jonathan's family (whom he had successfully told about his wizard fiancé), and on the left-hand side was Ron's with Mrs Weasley and Ginny up front. They were both crying. Mr Weasley, on the other hand, was more interested in the Muggles across the stage from him than he was in the actual ceremony.
On the floor in front of the stage, the rest of the guests were sitting in comfortable chairs. Draco sat on the front row together with two-year-old James and two-month-old Joz, a happy smile on his face. Several of their old classmates from Hogwarts were present, all of them surprised that Ron was marrying a bloke, but all of them supportive, luckily.
The only person missing was Bill, the Weasley least expected to care whether his brother married a girl or a bloke. One would think that someone who sported a pierced ear, long hair in a ponytail, and a kick-arse attitude would be okay with it—but no. Ron was a bit hurt that he had not even replied to the invitation, but he would not let it spoil the happiest day of his life.
Just when the ceremony was about to start, the great doors to the hall were flung open and Bill came running in. Stopping ten feet from the stage, he bent over with his hands on his thighs and panted wheezily. Then he looked up with an apologetic smile. "Did I miss anything?"
Ron simply smiled back and shook his head.
With everyone finally present, the ceremony could begin.
Harry heard Draco snivel behind him when Ron and Jonathan said "I do" to each other, and he felt close to tears of joy himself. As soon as they had exchanged the traditional wizard rings, the dance began and the stage disappeared. The chairs were exchanged for two long tables along the walls of the room with various snacks and drinks.
The newlyweds swept out over the floor, Ron in his new dress robes and Jonathan in a traditional Muggle tux, and soon other couples dressed in their finest dress robes or Muggle wear joined them on the dance floor. Draco even managed to talk Harry into dancing with him. He felt rather awkward at first, but soon he forgot the people around them and the world shrank to just him and Draco.
At the other end of the room, Piper had trouble controlling James, whom was currently having some sort of fit of hyperactive energy and over-excitement.
"Isn't it lovely?" Draco wondered.
"Yeah …"
The feeling lasted even long after they had got back home and were sitting together in the parlour. Energised by their best friend's happiness, they got up from the couch and Harry started to chase Draco around the bottom floor of the Manor. The blonde was laughing and gave a small shriek each time Harry came close to catching him. When he finally did, Draco laughed harder than he had ever laughed before, and squeezed his eyes shut tight.
They fell to the floor in a giggling heap, the raven-haired boy on top.
As he looked down into the blonde's beautiful pale face, Harry felt happier than he had ever felt, and before he could stop himself, the words he had had on his tongue all day—and pretty much every day for the past six months without even realising it himself—escaped his mouth in a loving half-giggling smile. "Marry me."
For a moment, the blonde just kept laughing, thinking that this must be part of the game, but when he realised that Harry was serious he abruptly stopped. "What?"
Harry's smile broadened. "Marry me."
And then something very unexpected happened. The blonde's pale face went paler than palest; all blood drained from his features and he seemed on the verge of fainting. With trembling lips and dead-scared silver eyes, he whispered: "No."
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