Chapter 2: Confessions
(Clarissa)
After being stuck in such a small space with my Mother for two hours I am exhausted and anxious. As we pull into the visitor parking, I about open my door before my mom parks the car, desperate to escape. It is so much grander than I ever imagined it would be, beautiful, and wrapped in glorious history. I am officially here, it is no longer a dream, a figment of my imagination. I am literally standing in front of my freedom. I hurry to collect all the stuff from the car that Jordan and my Mother have not already gotten, trying to make the least amount of trips as possible. I do not have much, clothes, but mainly it is my collection of books. I could not stand to leave any of them behind, each one holds a special place in my heart, so I ended up packing them all.
"I am in room 333." I say happily looking down at the paper I had printed out. I am a planner, everything in my life revolves around the details. I try my hardest to be as best prepared as I can. I had already done all my registrations online, got my class schedule, dorm number, map of the campus, and my student I.D. As we make our way to my dorm, I am acutely aware of the handful of people also moving into their dorms. I hear Jordan saying "Excuse us" as we shift around parents saying good bye to their children, and random people standing around talking. Once we finally make it to the door with the numbers 333 on it, I am beyond relieved. "Here we are." I let out. I take a deep breath and push open the door to my new beginning.
I do not know what I expected but this definitely was not it. I stand in the doorway of my new dorm and freeze. The first thing that comes to my attention is the magnitude of darkness that covers the right half of the room. Posters of heavy metal bands plastered everywhere, black bedding, dark area rug, clothes scattered along the floor. On said bed is a red-haired chick making out with some guy, while another guy and girl are sitting in a chair making out. I quickly clear my throat trying to make my presence known, and I hear my Mother's gasp of surprise beside me. Oh no. "Hell no." my Mother's voice resonates around the room and the red-haired chick looks up and quickly pushes the boy off her. Standing up, she pulls down her shirt, which did not really help since it barely came to her belly button anyway.
"Oh hi, you must be my new roommate!" she exclaims enthusiastically walking over to me and embracing me in a hug. I am too shocked to respond. I am quite sure my mouth is hanging open. "My name is Kitty, well Katherine, but everyone just calls me Kitty." She gushes giving me a bright smile.
Snapping out of my stupor, I close my mouth, and give a returning small smile. "Clarissa Chambers." I state. My mother and Jordan have gone deftly quiet and for once I am thankful, they are stunned into silence.
"Nice to meet you Clarissa. We were just about to head out, I will let you get settled in, when I get back, we can get to know each other better. I look forward to getting to know my new roomie." She laughs sweetly and skips over to the guy who is now beside the bed and grabs his hand. "Come on guys lets go." She states nodding to the door.
The guy with the girl on his lap stares at me for a minute and I only meet his eyes briefly before looking away. What is it with people and starting at me, I know I look strange, but have some common curtesy? I should be used to it honestly but sometimes it gets on my nerves, so I decide to stare right back at him, hoping it makes him feel as uncomfortable as me. All I earned was an amused cock of an eyebrow, before the guy pushes the girl out of his lap and follows his friends out the door, the girl trailing behind him like a little puppy.
When they are out of ear shot my mom starts in on me. "You aren't staying here; come along we will get you switched to a new dorm."
"Mother, please stop." I beg quietly, "I probably won't even see them half the time."
"We have worked too hard to get you here, I won't have you having any distractions." Her voice is crisp and cool.
I suppress the urge to roll my eyes, "Let me try it here and if my GPA suffers the first semester than I will gladly let you threaten the housing department to get me moved but please let me do this my way right now. I need to start being independent and fighting my own battles. Just give me a little faith to make the right decision for myself." I half beg.
My mother's eyes are hard and unrelenting flecks of glass, her lips tighten, and I can tell all she wants to do is grab me up and get me the hell out of there.
Jordan sets down the boxes he had been carrying and walks back over to my mother, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Clarissa is the most responsible person I know; I say you give her a chance to do things her way first." He suggests kindly.
It is slightly aggravating the way I see her eyes soften slightly at Jordan's words. I know he was just trying to help me, but I wish for once my mother would take what I have to say as well as she does his. It almost feels as if I do not even have a voice in my own future and that irritates the crap out of me but once again, I hold my tongue. I do not care how this gets handled if they hurry up and leave so I can start getting all my stuff organized.
"Alright just this semester but if you even slip up a little, I will have you moved so quick." She threatens.
I nod, "I understand, do not worry, I will not let anything jeopardize my future." I promise.
That seems to relax her a little and she nods, "Alright, I guess we better get going, it is a long drive back, you have everything?" she asks.
"Yep, I am all set." I smile slightly.
My Mother steps over to give me a stiff awkward hug before turning to leave, "I will see you in the car." She says to Jordan.
I let out a breath and look at my best friend, "I'm going to miss you."
Jordan pulls me into his warm embrace. "I am just a phone call away. We will talk every day, and I can come up on the weekends and visit you." He rushes out.
I laugh a little, "Sounds like a plan." I am relieved that he still wants to stay in contact with me. I am way out of my element here and having him in my life makes me feel steady.
He pulls away from me slightly and stares down at me, he looks a little flushed, "I love you, you know that, right?" he asks.
I feel my brows draw together in confusion. "I know that, I love you too." That was not weird at all.
Jordan's lips turn down at the sides slightly. "No, I mean I love you, like I want to be more than friends Clarissa."
"Oh." Is all I can manage to say. I figured this was coming, actually I am surprised it had not happened long before now. "We are going to different colleges now Jordan and I do not think that long distance is really a thing." I mumble.
"Just think about it and we can talk about it when I visit next weekend, okay?" he asks, his deep brown eyes so full of kindness.
Biting my bottom lip, I just give him a little nod, "Alright." I whisper.
Jordan leans down and kisses my cheek softly and gives me one last hug before leaving.
Crap, I think to myself. What a day this has turned out to be.
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