Chapter 1: LYING HELPLESS AND HOPELESS
"I honestly need to know if you are actually not unaware of certain things you created, and especially things happening to us and around us, which we absolutely have no idea why they keep existing, despite our entire hopes lying solely on you.
Are we missing out something important we still can't figure out, or we were predestined for this, being in a situation we just can't get out or explain? We never chose this upon ourselves.
Most times, the ones generally known as the bad guys in the society, get to have everything good at their disposals, while those struggling to please you keep getting it really hot.
What's our fault? What's our purpose? If it's the sins of our forefathers, should the descendants inherit their punishments, seeing we know nothing about them? How do we get to know what to do, when to do them and how to do them? Your time is the best, right? But do we have to wait for the whole of our lives, hoping for that time to come?"
Ann was far lost in thoughts, while calmly speaking to herself inward, and bitterly asking God questions about bad times and misfortunes, biting her lower lip in anguish and tears.
She is a widow, who has lost her husband few years back, leaving her with two children to cater for all alone. First, after her husband, she lost her job, due to her serious health condition which was considered not fit to work by the former company she worked for.
Second, all friends and family members had abandoned her, as rumor keeps going round that she's a witch.
It is believed in some parts of Africa, West Africa especially, that when the husband of a woman dies before her in some unnatural, tragic kind of way, which could be accident, or unexplainable illness, then the wife might have something to do with it.
This is the case of Ann. Her husband passed away as a result of a fatal accident, and since then the family members have been acting strange, seeing her as being involved in his death, that she might have somehow used her 'juju (charm)' in killing him. No one cares to listen to her, or believe she is innocent.
Her illness came a year after her husband was buried, and that has made people believed the more that she was getting what she deserves as a witch. She has tried everything humanly possible to get solution to her predicament but to no avail, and so, she gives up on trying anymore, accepting it the way it is, but then, she keeps blaming God for so many things, even though she claims she believes in Him.
While she sobs deep in thoughts, a voice comes from the door,
"Knock, knock, anyone home?"
It was the voice of an advanced man. Coming back from her deep thoughts, she quickly wipes her teary face with her left hand, and trying to act normal.
"Go, get the door, Sam."
She turns to her seven-year-old, second son, who was on the computer game with his elder brother.
Little kids usually have no idea about certain things happening in life. All is fine, as far as they get what to eat. I guess, in my opinion, the stage of being a kid in life, is the harmless and best stage of one's life.
Reaching towards the door, was Pastor Fred.
"Good afternoon, Pastor Fred," Sam happily greeted.
With a cheerful smile, he replies,
"How are you doing, son?"
"Am fine. Come in, Mummy is inside also," he added with a cuter smile.
"Ah, Pastor Fred, welcome," Ann welcomes him, with a disguised smile, while trying to sit upright on the couch where she has been resting.
"God bless you, daughter," stretching out his hand towards her.
"How are you coping?" He calmly asks her, as he sits.
She reluctantly answers, "Well, God is good."
"You will be just fine, dear, just keep trusting in the Lord. You see, His Word says by His stripes, we are healed. And they that wait upon the Lord shall of course renew their strength. So, don't get tired of waiting, sister, and don't border about what people have been talking, the fact is that God is aware of your innocence," he encourages her.
"These are some stuff, with a little token from the church to you," handling over to her some foodstuff with an envelope having some cash inside.
"This is too much, sir... How can I thank you enough?" She gratefully appreciates him, while using her two hands in accepting the package.
"Come on, it's nothing. Just the least we can do for you, and we will keep doing more until you get better." He brightens his smile, full of sympathy.
Holding her hand, with the children's, he says,
"Let's pray. Lord, I thank you, for you always answer us whenever we call on you. You never disappoint those who put their trust in you, and right now we putting my trust in you 'cause we believe in your healing virtues...
Your mercy is greater than our mistakes and meanness, and may it speak on our behalf; your love goes beyond our thoughts and may it cover our laxities and lowness.
Come to the aid of your daughter and her children, and let your name be glorified in Christ's name!"
Standing up to his feet from where he was sitting, he says to her after the conclusion of the prayers,
"God is in control, daughter. Keep having faith in Him; He's got you. Now, I really need to run, I have a meeting to attend. I will see you soon."
"Thank you so... much, Pastor", her voice calmly grunts but in a spirited comfort.
However, it never changes the fact that she's very ill, which she does always remember, and this keeps bringing back the old, moody behaviour, despite the comfort people try to give her.
"Lord, when will I be healed? Or am I going to remain like this for life? I just need an answer." This she keeps asking.