Chapter 2: unwanted
Unwanted
I laid on my back staring at the fan moving at a slow pace. I wasn't feeling quite well, actually I've never felt quite well. I wanted to sleep but I've had overdose of it and there was nothing to do nor read....
diary.
I ran towards my door,using the lock and secured it shot. I reach for my shelf and punched in my code, sliding out of the shelf was the black diary. I sat comfortably on a dust free bed and began.
***********
Dear diary
It's 7:01am, January 2,2018 right now and I'm so sorry for now writing to you earlier than this.
I got good news and bad news,well as usual bad news first(it's may not sound bad but to me it is). I went jogging today and mehn! M laps ache. It's been so long since I did it. I don't know why I tried it out but I did anyway.
Now to the good news,I bumped into Aj on my way out and he said and I quote "good morning Ali,didn't know you jog". It hurt a bit that he called me by my sister's name but the pain was worth it when he offered to jog along side with me. I was so conscious of my self,did my hair look bad?,was my panties sticking out or was it looking weird?,did my ass have a weird tumbling as I jogged??
I was so confused especially when he stifled a laugh,I thought I had died on the spot. We got home together you know and I practically ran inside the house in shame.
I know what you are thinking,yes it's actually a good news. First he noticed me and asked if he could jog with me. I know, I know,he doesn't know my name but he could learn that any time soon.
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5:17pm.
Been listening to some bts songs on sound cloud and vibing to them. I remember when Ali told me I could be swearing for my self as I sang along. That got me laughing. I really miss her,I always wonder why she went to a uni so far from home but as I grew older,I understood.
Ali and I were so different. If you don't look close enough,you wouldn't know we are related. She was so pretty with her black flawless skin,curves, awesome long legs,perfect set of teeth and a charming smile to fit. Ali was a queen in secondary School,nobody noticed me when she was nearby. Ali is perfection herself never makes any mistake or piss the parents off.
I was everything but that,I was light skinned,I got curves but they weren't as awesome as Ali's, I got a pretty big ass and matching boobs,not so perfect set of teeth and an ok smile. I wasn't popular,I wasn't called pretty,I always make mistakes and always piss the parents off.
Liam,yes from now on your name is Liam. I was so happy when I moved away from the parents into another house that just happened to be next to Aj's house with you and Faith,my ever wealthy friend. Life and school have been good to me,fun if I may say. With no sis stealing the show and no nagging parent,I was on top of the world.
First year in University hasn't been that hard neither has it been easy. It has just been off and on. Classes,parties, boys,kisses,sex and then the routine is either on repeat or it's shuffled.
There's a party tonight and I'm not so sure I wanna go, been feeling down lately and I'm not ready to party. Good thing,faith is staying with her new man. I've the house to my self.
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Hey baby Liam,
It's 10pm sharp and I think I should go to bed now,uni is tomorrow and I got History by 8,I can't go late to that class because Aj signed up for it too and Aj never goes late to his classes either. I have to keep my attendance clean and give a good impression to make up for this sloppy morning.
Goodnight....
Ok so I'm still awake. Forceful sleeping is harder than I thought. I've been staring at you for hours long now and I can't think of anything. I wanted to say something but nothing came out.
I wanted to be free from this heart break pain but tomorrow is school and i get to see ex boyfriend and best friend there,I need to look good you know? You're helping with the outfit of tomorrow,yes tomorrow. I don't want to be looking hagged or unkept after... Goodnight.
**********
I laughed at that entry. However this was very funny. She was a total girly who wanted to look strong.
There was a knock on my door or should I say a punch,I got up from my bed after hiding the diary and opened the door.
Fist meets face.
pain crept up from my nose to my cheeks and finally my brain. It registered late that I had just been punched.
"Ouch,that hurts. What was that for?" I looked at Eli who had a shocked expression on his face.
"Uhm, dinner's ready"with that he walked out leaving me standing with a pained look on my face. I matched after him and gripped his arm which made him glare at me,I had always been scared of Eli but I didn't care much this time.
"That was intentional right?" He didn't reply. I tightened my grip on his arm. "Apologize this instance". He pulled out of my grip and shoved me in the shoulder.
"First,don't ever grip my arm or any part of my body,I mean it and so what if it was intentional? Would you hit me back?" I stared at him with tears in my eyes. I couldn't take it anymore.
"What did I do so wrong?why do you hate me so much? Am I not your sister,your twin??" He let out a menacing laugh that lasted for a minute. With all this argument going on,mom and dad should have intervened by now.
"My sister?my twin?you wish. Don't delude yourself. You know we are not related, you did that DNA project last month and you confirmed it yourself. So why are you here living under this roof....". I didn't let him finish, I screamed him shut.
I walked right past him and headed downstairs for the dining table. I sat down grumpily at the end of the table,far away from Mom and dad,casted my eyes down to my plate of spaghetti immediately Eli walked into the room. Only a nod of recognition from both parents before they continued their heated discussion.
Few minutes and some seconds later,mom finally noticed my mood.
"Honey,what's wrong?"
I wanted to ask her badly about my biological parents but....I shook my head. "Nothing,I'm fine" I prayed she let me be at least for tonight and thankfully to the heavens,she let me be.
I couldn't take it no more. I looked up from my untouched spaghetti.
"Mom?" She gave me the go ahead nod.
"I wanted to..to know..."I stammered,I couldn't let the words come out of my mouth. I can't pretend anymore. With new found confidence, i asked.
"Who are my biological parents?"mom's fork clanked against the plate before hitting the carpet and dad's perfect mask finally broke.
"What?"mom's voice came out as a whisper and it was crooked. Eli sat there grimly gripping his fork and his knuckles were turning white.
"I said who are my...."dad interrupted me Midway.
"We got that. Why the sudden question?".
"That doesn't matter because..."another interruption came from Eli. I groaned,what's with this people and their love for interrupting. Eli went to mom's side of the table. She looked pale,she was hyperventilating. Dad rushed to her side and I wanted to do the same but my feet didn't budge.
I willed my self to go over there when everything had died down. Dad had administered mom's medications to her and colour was coming back to her face.
I wanted to speak but I had nothing to say. I walked away towards my room,now wasn't the time to talk about this. I will do it tomorrow,when mom is feeling quite well and dad didn't look scared.
I got to my room and laid on my bed. I turned and buried my head on the diary and cried. I didn't want to know the truth,I don't think I want to know who gave birth to me,this was my home and I don't want to leave. The tears kept flowing and it was then I prayed.
I prayed for a second chance,prayed for a new life, a new beginning where I could be strong,bold and fearless. A life where such things related to the heart wouldn't hurt.
For the first time,when I didn't genuinely mean those words,heaven listened. Fate decided to play a game with me,a very dangerous and life changing one.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Ama_khalil
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