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Chapter 2: Sleep is on my mind

Today it was Friday and today I was at home all day long. It's the absolute best! Being all alone at home and just chill with Netflix, sleep and food! I seem to have become obsessed with this série 'La Casa De Papel'. I'm not sure what the title means but I know that it's in Spanish. I haven't and I probably never will learn Spanish but what's the harm in seeing a série in Spanish, right?

In my school you have to choose if you want to learn German, Spanish or French and if you don't then it's extra English. But if you do choose one of those languages above then you get to have higher grades but that's only if you don't fail of course. Unfortunately I was stupid enough to choose French just because I was so into this one série where they originally speak French. But now I have learned my lesson, do not under any circumstances choose French! It's so hard and for those of you who can speak French, you're amazing!

But let's get back to today... so it was fine and all but it was also kinda lonely being all by my self. I'm not social at all and if you came up to me and wanted to talk, I would literally just stand there and be totally awkward and all. I have friends but it's not like they know me so well. But who can blame them when I have some really annoying trust issues. Don't really know where I begun having trust issues but now it's pretty normal for me to not say so much to the people around me and only here can I say what's on my mind. That's sad but whatever! It's not like I will be together with them my whole life.

Recently I have been drinking coffee more than usual. If it was about 1 cup per 3 days then now it's like 1 cup everyday. Then I don't mean sugar and milk coffee but really strong and bitter coffee. My dad who by the way drinks cafe du lait (coffee with milk) everyday 5 cups and my mom who drinks strong and really bitter coffee 3 cups everyday are getting seriously worried about me but whatever. It's delicious and my taste buds are changing so I will probably drink even more in the future. While my brother is all 'it's disgusting and making me puke' about coffee, guess that he still doesn't know that wonderful taste of coffee. 'sign'

I should probably be studying my ass out by now but I can't stop thinking about this dream I had yesterday night/ today morning. It was about this guy who seems so familiar but also unfamiliar, if that's possible. He was your typical cliche boyfriend material guy with both good looks and good personality but I can't seem to remember where I have seen this hottie. He probably doesn't even exist but some part of me wants him to exist. Maybe that's a sign, maybe I want a boyfriend instead of a best friend... oh no... I forgot to mention, I have never been together with anyone before.

Please don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with me, probably. But what should I do when all I can think about is how heartbroken I would be when we break up and that's not something that I would like to go through so for now I'm single forever! Lucky me! You know that old lady with 100th cats in movies...that will be me!

It's 4 pm here now and, well if you ask me I would say that it's time to lay my body down on my bed and sleep for the rest of the day or possibly days. But whatever! It's Friday afternoon and I'm feeling good enough for loud music on my headphones while I sing and dance around in my room without caring about what my family thinks about me. So bye bye little butterfly!


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