Chapter 78: Chapter 78
The full names of the little toddlers were Artus Lucian Pendragon and Annabel Ashton, each carrying the names of Arturia and Shirou's known family lines. Artus was to take the throne in the future, while Annabel preserved the Ashton name which would be inherited by whatever future suiter she may come to adore.
"S-Stop crying," Arturia tried to erase the panic from her tone, but ended up forcibly raising it instead. "Artus. Lucian. Pendragon. A man does not shed his tears lightly," she pointed stiffly with a finger.
It couldn't be helped that Arturia was failing as a mother. In medieval society, child rearing was never left to men who often died in wars. Instead, the wife was the one who generally stayed home and prioritised raising their children into fine adults. In Arturia's case, she never had any mother figures and she was raised as a boy. Her childhood had been more about Sir Ector and Kay encouraging her to act like a man simply because neither of them knew how to properly raise a daughter or children to begin with. Their definition of raising Arturia until she had been old enough to be aware of her surroundings was by dangling her upside down by the leg or by the arms in hopes that she'd quiet down. Failing that, after Kay and Sir Ector had been severely chastised by their temporarily hired wet nurse, the two ended up tying Arturia around a support beam with a rope when she got too hyper.
Arturia had honestly been a very tough toddler.
Regardless, Kay and Sir Ector were Arturia's role models, and in all of their worldly wisdom, nothing that they suggested to her was working: You have to be forceful; you have to show them your authority as their mother; you must demonstrate your care by properly teaching them right from wrong.
She was trying. Damn it she was, but at the same time, why did they always cry when they see her as if she was someone to be feared? It was as depressing as thinking that they hated her. Honestly, she'd only tried dangling them by their legs once until Shirou had sternly said it was a bad idea. When she'd only blinked at him in response and reasoned that Sir Ector and Kay did the same for her when she was a toddler, Shirou had abruptly stiffened, and with righteous indignation, excused himself out of the room to start a man hunt much to Arturia's confusion.
Back to the present, Arturia was more preoccupied with tending to her children. After Shirou had entered the Royal Bedchambers, he'd coaxed her enough to keep trying to endear herself to her own children lest their relationship grow awkward.
Lips ever so slightly quivering, Arturia inwardly sighed in relief when Lucian began to wipe away his tears and put on a strong front. She nodded her head in pride at her son's accomplishment.
Good child. Mommy favours you. There was a twinkle in Arturia's eyes. Unknowingly, Annabel's gaze shifted from Artus to Arturia and back before her expression began to turn for the worse.
Lucian's full name was Artus Lucian Pendragon. He had been named as such simply because Arturia had been unable to decide between the two names, and on Sir Ector's suggestion, she just used both. She preferred calling him Lucian whenever Shirou was around because she often found her attention drawn towards Shirou whenever he called for 'Art,' short for Artus.
Feeling euphoric that she'd been able to handle Artus, Arturia's confidence was at an all time high. Her chest was puffed up, her back straightened, and her arms resting over her hips, she was the very picture of a pleased mother. Then Arturia's attention shifted towards Annabel and she immediately felt like she'd been punched in the gut knowing that she probably couldn't use the same tactic. Worse, for some reason, Annabel, the dear chubby cheeked baby, was already on the verge of tears again.
"…S-Shirou?" Arturia tried calling for a tap out.
Shirou who was watching from a short distance behind Arturia shook his head wryly. He had been the one to calm everyone down when he'd first stepped into the Royal bed chambers. However, what good would it be for Arturia if she had to search for him whenever she tried to tend to her own daughter?
Shirou nodded reassuringly. "Keep trying Arturia. You're their mother, and they know it. You can't just give up," he encouraged her.
Easy for you to say, Arturia held back her retort. Artus and Annabel loved Shirou. They were always all smiles when he was around probably because Shirou handled and treated them like a modern parent would. Arturia's habits and child rearing skills were still firmly set to the standard of her time period. Ergo, she had none because she had been raised as a man.
But that's exactly why she had to keep trying.
Attempt fifty-three, Arturia counted the number of failures in her mind and took a calming breath. She'd learned from attempt thirty-three that to show her weakness was to induce discomfort for her children.
She shut her eyes firmly and thought up of a plan in her head. She had to take this slow and calmly. These were her own children for crying out loud, and if Shirou could do it, she could do it too.
She opened her eyes, only to balk when an identical pair of watery teal-coloured pupils stared her down imploringly. Imploringly?
Arturia squinted before shock assailed her mind at Annabel's daring actions. What does she mean to say by raising her hands up at her own mother? A sign of defiance? She'd heard from Sir Ector that girls mature quickly, but to think that Annabel was already trying to contest against her own mother was nerve inducing.
Looking at the stare off between mother and daughter, Shirou began to laugh awkwardly when he noticed Arturia's eyes growing bloodshot in her overthinking.
"Shirou," Arturia finally called out, her voice solemn. "Look at her."
Uhm, okay? Shirou complied with what his wife asked of him. Annabel had her head tilted to the side while seated up and insistently totting towards Arturia with her arms outstretched. She looked perfectly normal. He turned skeptically towards Arturia.
"What about her?" He asked Arturia to clarify.
Arturia swallowed audibly before resolving her features. "Can't you see it?"
See what? Shirou was quickly growing confused while Annabel grew impatient.
Arturia's lips pursed, her complexion darkening as if she was faced with an incomparably heavy burden, her brows knitting together. "She's challenging me," she gasped in revelation.
"Uhm, no Arturia. You're wrong," Shirou shook his head and denied. Could Arturia really not see Annabel's actions for what they were? The look of sheer confusion on her face was more than enough of an answer. "She just wants you to pick her up, and not dangle her by the legs or arms."
"Really?" The suspicion in Arturia's tone was evident, but the fact that she also looked relieved was endearing.
"Yes really. Trust me and try picking her up with your arms," Shirou advised warmly. "Just be careful to cradle the head."
Hearing Shirou's advice, Arturia tentatively picked Annabel up and secured her under her left arm. The toothless smile that Annabel gave in response caused the worry in Arturia's eyes to melt away.
Meanwhile, noticing Arturia picking up Annabel, Artus raised his hands up in a gesture to be carried as well. Arturia complied; it was a mistake. With both of her children carried in her arms and no way to defend herself, she began to realize the error of not tying up her hair into a bun. Small pudgy hands found their way to grasp at strands of her golden wheat-coloured hair before pulling. Hard.
"S-Stop right now. Mommy says to stop pulling on my hair," she tried talking reason to them while wincing with every tug to no effect. It made her want to call Shirou for help, but she knew that she had to learn how to handle these sorts of situations on her own lest she be labeled as an incompetent mother by Merlin. It was a title that she refused to accept. "Stop please?"
No effect. None at all.
For the love of all that was good and just, how did Sir Ector and Kay deal with her when she was a toddler? Vague memories of Arturia's own baby years filtered into her mind, and she couldn't help but subconsciously look for a wooden support beam to tie a rope around. She may have had acted on her thoughts if not for the fact that Shirou had explicitly explained that Sir Ector and Kay had not raised her properly.
Endure? Was she really going to have to endure this until her children grew tired? The answer, was in fact, Yes. Yes, she would. The challenges of motherhood.
Ten minutes later, and after exhausting their infantile energy, Artus and Annabel yawned while nestling their heads into the groove between Arturia's chest and shoulders. By this point, Arturia looked like a wreck. Her hair was in disarray and patches of drool stained the blue gown she was wearing.
She was glaring at Shirou who had a wide grin on his face.
'Laugh. I dare you.' Arturia's expression seemed to scream.
Rather than laugh or draw anymore amusement from Arturia's struggles, Shirou walked forward and helped Arturia lie down on the bed. She was a headstrong woman. Not once did she think to make herself comfortable while cradling Artus and Annabel. Besides, he needed a break from Kingly duties anyway.
"What have I told you about family not having to be a battle?" He reminded Arturia while sitting at the bedside adjacent to her. She naturally leaned her body against his, and in turn, he wrapped an arm around her. She was pouting. "I know that you want to raise them right, but there's no need to put any expectations on them this soon. It's why they always cry when they see you. All they really want though is for you to dote on them. See, look at them now."
Arturia's gaze shifted towards Artus and Annabel wrapped up in blankets cradled gently within her arms that had the means to punch through boulders. It was a show of her care for her own children that she never raised her strength against them even in her agitation.
Staring at them now, her anger at them pulling at her hair all just seemed to vanish into smoke. She loved them. She loved them dearly.
Arturia nuzzled her cheeks against her children's own and subconsciously sighed in content while holding the two in her arms. They were adorable when they were quiet. Slowly, carefully, she began rocking them to keep them sleeping, proving that maternal instinct truly did exist within her.
"It's been pretty busy lately hasn't it?" Arturia inquired after a few minutes of tranquil silence.
"You could say so," Shirou agreed, resting his chin over Arturia's head. "A lot has already changed in this past year."
More and more people had begun migrating to Camelot seeking asylum, all of which Shirou had decided to accommodate. He had both the power and enough future knowledge to support a larger population. It didn't even matter that he had to build relations from scratch after Arturia's fall out with some of Camelot's trade partners and associates. He'd still managed to do so on the surface while Agravain strong-armed deals from the shadows.
Moreover, with the inflow of asylum seekers came an increase in skilled workers and tradesman able to expand and cultivate the lands around Camelot. Agriculture, roads, shops, and building techniques for quick construction of infrastructure, were all being implemented. Order was held by the Knights spear-headed by Lancelot, Tristan, and Gawain.
Economically and in terms of management, Camelot was thriving without anyone fearing for their lives or worried about a stable source of food. The commoners and working-class individuals were already hailing the King with praise and gratitude.
Different from Arturia's approach of actively attacking the Saxons, Shirou had focused on the stability of the people which Arturia had normally left for Agravain to handle while she defended the country. It was only logical that in another time-line, Camelot's regression began with the death of Agravain.
Regardless of all the good Shirou had done in the past year, many individuals such as the high nobility sought to tarnish his reputation by focusing solely on his faults. His lack of offensive actions towards the Saxons being used to paint him as a coward only good at consolidating power rather than ruling.
His thoughts must have shown on his face, because Arturia had craned her neck to stare up at him in concern.
"Should I 'speak' with them?" Arturia raised a delicate brow, coldness showing through her composed features.
Ever since she'd lashed out on the nobles a day before her wedding, she'd traumatized many and her very presence alone terrified the nobles who prided themselves in concealed barbs. It was one thing to kindly insult and anger someone and have them just grudgingly smile back at you, but it was another thing entirely to insult and anger someone and have them pile drive your face two-feet underground or through a wall. Worse, when Shirou had asked Arturia in the past, she'd admitted that she'd even been holding back.
"No," Shirou shook his head wryly. "Things haven't reached that point yet."
"Pity." Arturia turned her gaze away.
Pity? Did she actually just say pity? Shirou stared at Arturia incredulously, but she simply glanced back with a practiced poker face. She'd grown more in tune with herself and her feelings after spending nine-months cooped up and away from physical activity in her pregnancy.
A knock on the door caused Shirou to refocus his attention. "Come in," he called after clearing his throat.
The bedroom's large oaken doors swung open by a crack as Mordred without her helmet peaked her head in to make sure that Merlin wasn't around. In her hands was a book of literature that she'd been trying to tear apart, but was failing because Merlin had enchanted the damn thing. Mordred had figured that if she could break it, then she could use the excuse of a ruined textbook to not study.
"Mordred reporting," she did a stiff salute, more occupied with how to destroy the book in her hands. "Sir Agravain requests a meeting regarding war time measures in the throne room," she informed Shirou; however, there was a pleading expression in her gaze that Shirou had gotten to know all too well.
"No," he rejected her unasked plea, causing her body to tremble in despair.
"…I-I'm the King's Guard! Why do I need to learn how to read when I already know how to speak? Isn't that all I need to really know?" Mordred swayed on her feet, her knees buckling.
That right there was the very reason Shirou had asked Merlin to educate Mordred after he'd learned that she was illiterate and ignorant of other scholarly fields. Most noble-born children were taught since they were young, but Mordred was different in that she'd been forced to learn how to best fight instead. Her best tactics were not learned through diligent reading, but through actual experience. Her table manners were boorish at best too, probably picked up from watching soldiers and knights eating during army camp.
"No means no, Mordred. I only want what's best for you," Shirou said truthfully, and to that, Mordred had no response other than to fidget on the spot.
"That's not fair," Mordred muttered for only herself to hear. Rather than learn, she was at her most content when she was by Shirou's side in her duty as the King's Guard. In her opinion, she didn't need to be anywhere else.
Not hearing what Mordred had said, Shirou focused on the message that Mordred had delivered about Agravain, and knew that he shouldn't keep the man waiting. He directly stood up in order to leave, but faltered when Arturia nudged him on the side.
"I'll come with you," she said before standing up and gently putting Artus and Annabel back in their crib. She didn't feel safe leaving her children unattended with the threat of Morgan still at large so she turned to the one person that she was starting to include as a member of 'family' in her mind.
"Mordred, can you look after the twins for a bit?" Arturia asked. Mordred nodded mutely in response, still overwhelmed by being acknowledged by someone that she had thought would never look her way. "And remember, if Merlin comes in alone, you kick him out. He will not corrupt my children's purity."
"R-Right," Mordred hurried to respond when the silence began to stretch. She shuddered when a feeling of warmth assailed her as Shirou passed by. He'd patted her head and grinned at her, and it was enough to render her mind blank.
Arturia soon followed Shirou's example and exited the room.
Just before Shirou had left, he brought his hands to his lips and whistled lowly. From a distant part of Camelot, a large flaming bird shrunk in size and flew to perch itself on a location able to see into the royal bed chambers.
Efret was as dutiful as always.
Left alone in the Royal Bed Chamber, Mordred took in a breath to compose herself, a hand placed over her heart. Ever since she'd met Shirou, her life had taken an entire one-hundred-and-eighty-degree turn. Not that she was complaining, was it wrong for her to want to be closer to him?
She stewed in her own thoughts before the babbling noises that Artus and Annabel were making to get her attention cleared her mind. The two had woken up as Arturia had deposited them back into their crib.
Mordred's eyes glanced back and forth to make sure that she was really by herself before her feet slowly inched closer to the wooden crib which she gingerly peered into. Gaze darting back and forth one last time, she crouched until she was eye level with the crib's gate and reached a hand in to gently rub Artus on the stomach.
"Hey, it's big-sis Mordred. Did you miss me?" She uncharacteristically cooed.
She looked around again to make sure that the coast was clear before she began making faces at the twins. If Arturia was around, she would have thrown a fit at seeing how positively Artus and Annabel had taken to Mordred compared to her, and Arturia was their mother.
"Are you guys hungry?" Mordred fiddled with something she'd been keeping in her pocket. It was a piece of dried meat. "Do you guys want jerky? Can you brats even eat jerky?"
Mordred only got giggles in response, so she decided not to risk feeding them meat yet even though she felt like meat would help them grow strongest.
She placed a finger at Artus's cheek, smiling dumbly when Artus's small hands clutched around her unarmoured digit. Annabel, not liking that Artus was monopolizing Mordred, crawled over to her brother, wrenched his grip free, and then took Artus's position.
Mordred raised a brow. This girl was going to grow up strong.
As for the brother, a trace of anger flickered across Artus's eyes, but the boy had strength of character and did not lash out at his jealous sibling. Mordred hummed while holding back a laugh which turned into a chuckle. One was willful and the other was tolerant.
These children were both going to grow up strong.
Agravain stood by the King's throne, a perpetual scowl on his features born from overwork and a lack of sleep. He'd aged in the past year, not in appearance, but more in overall mood. Grumpy would be the simplest word to describe him; however, there was a noticeable drive present in his eyes as he watched the country grow stronger day by day while hearing stories of Arturia trying to dote on her children and failing.
He used a hand to brush back his slick black hair before assuming a resting formal expression.
The one that he didn't wish to be hated by the most was happy, and Shirou was proving competent enough as a leader by introducing innovative technologies for Camelot's use. What other motivation did he need to continue pushing himself to work hard then that?
It was time to get back to work. Everything was to be done for the sake of the Kingdom.
Agravain's attention was drawn towards the opening of the throne room's doors where both Shirou and Arturia stepped into view. Shirou still donned hunting armours beneath a long blue mantle while Arturia wore a simple dress embroidered with gold-coloured lining. It some ways, looking at Arturia now almost reminded Agravain of unpleasant memories at the hands of an unpleasant woman who was still threatening him into action in the background. Regardless, towards Arturia, he felt none of the revulsion that he felt towards other conniving women and actually found the creases on his face lightening when she called his name.
"I thank you for your work as always, Agravain," Arturia smiled in Agravain's direction free of deceit or underlying intentions. It was bright. Pure.
"You flatter me, my Queen," Agravain inclined his head as a feeling of satisfaction assailed him. To many Knights and officials residing within Camelot, the sight of Arturia in a dress was still novel to them, but Agravain had long since gotten used to it. How could he not when Arturia often accompanied Shirou to formal briefing?
Enough idle thoughts. It was time to address the matter at hand.
Agravain's sharp eyes turned towards Shirou, and gone was any warmth, replaced instead by the demeanor of a professional. "The nobles and Camelot's trade partners have begun to voice their dissent and dissatisfaction with Camelot's lack of initiative to fight the Saxons and reclaim lost land. Those of particular interest revolve around Duke Owel who's been put in charge of Camelot's defensive perimeter. He strikes a legitimate argument using Arturia's past achievements as a benchmark, claiming that the new King should be able to meet and exceed past accomplishments and merits."
Duke Owel River's was not wrong. Each new King has a duty to strive to better their rule under the example of previous Kings. Arturia felt somewhat conflicted though that her past actions of throwing herself into battle after battle was being used against Shirou who'd focused on consolidating the land first.
Before Arturia could inwardly stew on the matter for any longer, Shirou gently squeezed her hand in reassurance that he didn't blame her for anything.
"We'll have to start the plan for attack then," Agravain got right to the point. There was already a planned march to combat the Saxons so it shouldn't be much of a problem to accelerate the procedures. Supplies were necessary, and those that failed to properly supply necessary armours, weapons, and provisions out of a lack of profit or effort, Agravain reserved his own personal methods to convince them.
Shirou frowned. Agravain was correct to take the initiative, but at the same time, the goal remained ambiguous. Fighting and killing every Saxon in the country was not only barbaric, but not a long-term solution either. The Saxons would continue to come regardless, and slaughtering people who only sought to live better lives from the places that they were migrating from was bound to spark a cycle of animosity and hatred.
"Not so fast," Shirou shook his head. "We need to focus on a long-term plan."
Agravain grunted. Someone as smart as Agravain must have already considered everything before proposing an ultimatum. Evidently, Agravain was not focusing on the long-term, but in the short-term to obtain results and appease Camelot's partners.
"Do you have any other suggestions?" Agravain asked, his arms crossing while he frowned.
Yes. In fact, Shirou did. It was just that he was concerned about how long his plan would take to implement. Before Shirou could explain his thoughts however, a voice answered Agravain instead.
"Is this not a simple problem?" A flurry of pink rose petals fluttered into the room before congregating into the form of a familiar wizard. "You need only think outside the box in order to understand the main driving force of all people that can stem from emotion and belief. The Saxons are humans too. Therefore, why not play into human weakness of the mind?"
Merlin appeared with a small grin on his lips while actively avoiding standing near Arturia.
Agravain grunted with a raised brow towards the Royal Court and Wizard Advisor. "Explain."
Merlin flourished his hands in front of him and tapped the butt of his black staff on the floor flamboyantly. "It's quite simple really. At the kingdom's current disposal, we have a being that can peer into dreams, me my distinguished self, a fabled hammer, and a woman that is akin to a Saxon princess. Think about it in the long-term."
Hmm, Agravain mulled the little riddle Merlin had given him before grudgingly understanding what Merlin was hinting at. The only one who seemed a bit confused was Shirou and Arturia.
"What do you get when you add these three things together, dreams, a Saxon holy object, and a Saxon princess?" Merlin drawled so that each word could sink in. Realization came next. "Need I say more?" He asked grinning at the thought of the future misfortune a single planned misconception could bring.
Shirou and Agravain unenthusiastically nodded at Merlin's schadenfreude. A plan had been decided, meaning that all that was left for the following days was to see it through.
As expected of a half-Incubus; however, Arturia saw Merlin's mischievousness differently. She directly walked up to Merlin who froze stiff at her approach.
"Don't you dare corrupt my babies," she said coldly, an accusing finger poking Merlin's nose and staggering him back. "Teacher or not, I won't forgive you."
Merlin sweat dropped.
Why was that the only thing that Arturia ever said to him nowadays? It's why he actively avoided her because arguing only meant pain, and he hated pain.
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Fate-in Time Side Story: Chaldea Alternative Records Chapter 5: A Tingling Feeling.
Surprisingly, Shirou had not needed Lily to lift a finger in order to hunt down the Beast that had mortally wounded him in another timeline. Instead, he'd safely defeated the Beast from a distance and didn't bother going in close, a red hound streaking across the dim horizon.
Lily opened and closed her mouth, utterly stunned at the development. In fact, she was gradually beginning to realize that perhaps the reason why she'd seen the Shirou of another time line suffer a mortal blow was because of protecting her child self.
"Something wrong?" Shirou asked her after stepping down from the overhead tree.
"Nothing," Lily deflected, trying her best to compose herself, but failing because her eyes kept getting drawn back to the over-sized black bow in Shirou's left hand.
He noticed. Of course, he noticed. He nodded solemnly towards her. "This is my bow," he introduced. "I fire magic swords from it," he explained it childishly so that even a toddler could understand, but Lily wasn't listening.
'Magic sword' wasn't going to cut it. She wasn't the ordinary child Arturia who'd simply nod and agree with such an explanation. She was a Heroic Spirit summoned in her time as a teenager and presently assuming the form of her younger-self in her dreams.
She knew what kind of weapon that twisted sword had been. It was a Noble Phantasm. It had to be, and it had reeked with the intent to seek and slaughter. Perhaps it was a family heirloom. It had to be. All too soon, she began to recall what Sir Ector had told her about House Ashton before its assassination. It was a noble family said to hunt Monsters, Beast Hunters.
Clearly, Shirou was doing his House proud even as a child, but what ate away at Lily more was trying to imagine what Shirou had gone through in order to wield a Noble Phantasm with such potent bloodlust. It was saddening just to imagine.
The murder of his entire family, came to Lily's mind, causing her to purse her lips.
"Hey, if you don't like looking at my bow, I'll get rid of it," Shirou called out in concern while dismissing his bow with a flick of a hand. "See, it's all gone so you don't have to be so nervous. I'm sorry if I frightened you in any way. It wasn't my intention."
Lily quickly shook her head. This was ridiculous. She was the mentally grown one, and she was the one being comforted? Get yourself together Lily! She clapped her hands to her cheeks, startling Shirou who's attention was solely focused on her.
"I wasn't scared," she huffed. "I was just thinking about things was all."
Shirou frowned. "Thinking about what?"
"That it's not safe to go into the forest right now, and that you probably shouldn't be alone," Lily grabbed Shirou's hand and began leading him along. Shirou must have suffered through a lot already. Lily realized that going back to the scene where one's family was murdered was definitely not healthy.
"But-"
"No buts!" Lily puffed up her cheeks and glared in a way that she knew always worked against Shirou. Expectedly, his resistances began to wane before he allowed her to drag him back to her home in Bristol.
The two walked in silence before Lily realized that she couldn't help her growing curiosity. She wanted to verify if her conjecture of what had happened in the memory of her childhood self was true.
'Hypothetically,' No. Too big of a word for someone her age. "Hey Shirou," she began instead. He looked over towards her. "If you saw me in danger, what would you do? Y'know, just asking."
Shirou didn't even blink an eye. He didn't even show an ounce of hesitation. He looked Lily right in the face, and with the least regard for his own safety, he spoke to her in a tone as if it were only natural.
"No matter what, no matter the cost, I would save you."
He smiled. It was that same smile of relief that the Shirou of her childhood-self's timeline had used when he'd suffered a mortal blow, not knowing just what sort of impact it was having on Lily's mind.
On every Arturia's mind.
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When Lily blinked her eyes open from her dream, it was to the sound of crows desperately flapping their wings in order to escape a collapsing section of a forest.
Lily sat up in confusion, only to see a furious Saber Alter punching down a tree with her sheer magical power. "…!" the tree shattered into splinters. "The damn fool!" Saber Alter looked incensed.
"A-Are you alright?" Lily called out meekly. Her designated sleeping spot was the closest to Saber Alters, meaning that they were within speaking range.
Rather than answer, Saber Alter scoffed and walked away, unwilling to speak, but it wasn't the same for her counterparts. Blue Saber and Lily's Lancer variants all had deep creases over their brows before Blue Saber decided to share her conjecture for Saber Alter's behaviour.
Like Lily had expected, her counterparts had chosen to directly Hunt the Beast rather than let Shirou deal with it like she had. Similar to Lily, they all witnessed for themselves what Shirou was capable of, but at the same time, events had happened in the same as child-Arturia's timeline.
Blue Saber and the other Arturia's had been over confident with their skills. They'd grown complacent and had underestimated how unaccustomed they were to fighting in a weakened child-sized body against a foe that could kill them with a single strike.
Of course, Blue Saber and the other older Arturia's didn't need any real help, but all it took was a single moment to slip up. For all of the older Arturia's including Saber Alter, their Shirou's had appeared by their sides fully intent on taking the blow for each of them. Fortunately, it was then that the older Arturia's used Mana Burst and stopped the Beast's attack long enough for Shirou to make a Noble Phantasm that had killed the Beast.
To Lily, the recounting of events sounded like a happy ending; however, to the other Arturia's, it was a wake-up call especially to Saber Alter who'd come the closest to having Shirou decapitated by the Beast in her arrogance of her own abilities.
What irked Saber Alter the most was that Shirou had been willing to die on her mistake. She couldn't understand why, nor wrap her head around the sequence of events. He was a fool. A bloody fool who'd smiled at her in relief just because it appeared as if she'd be safe when he clearly would not be.
Another tree fell in the distance, reduced into tiny splinters.
Wisely, Lily gave her older counterparts their space for the time being.
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As it would turn out, child-Arturia's Shirou had not ended up dying like everyone had believed, and had in fact, defeated the Beast in the end.
The following events had the Arturias seeing child-Arturia's daily life while at the same time experiencing it for themselves in their dreams. Ever slowly, ever gradually, as the days spanned into months and into the years of young adolescence, the way that child-Arturia regarded Shirou began to change.
It all started with a feeling. It was warm, bubbly, and made the heart do funny things that ran counter to what the Arturia's were displaying on the surface. They'd all defaulted to putting on emotionless facades while inwardly processing the gentle and tingly emotion budding from within their chests. What child-Arturia could feel, so too could the older Arturias in order to better understand child-Arturia's perspective and thoughts.
The feeling grew stronger and stronger ever still.
Child Arturia would stare at Shirou whenever she thought that he wasn't looking, and grow red-faced whenever she got caught. She learned to grow embarrassed whenever Shirou cleaned the oil from her cheeks and whenever she ate roasted chicken legs with her hands and he took a napkin and cleaned her fingers.
She started to became aware of all sorts of things, soon becoming self-conscious of herself enough that she'd even asked Sir Kay how to demonstrate proper table manners.
The Arturias could all feel a certain emotion growing as child-Arturia had grown up into her young adolescence hopelessly trailing behind Shirou like a lost lamb.
It was love, an emotion that many of the Arturia had not once personally felt before.
Child-Arturia had developed a crush and was steadily falling in love.
Chaldea Alternative Records.
Not for the first time, Saber Alter found herself restless in her sleep. She'd long since stopped trying to understand the situation for what it was and instead focused on what she'd do from here on out.
This was clearly a chance to do everything again. Her past mistakes, her regrets, she could get rid herself of all of them in one motion. She'd be a fool to waste the opportunity.
Hers had been a lonely existence endured for the sake of her country. Was she willing to do so again? The answer was already apparent to her. She'd been a tyrant, an oppressor, but she'd always adhered to her own lawfulness.
She stared up at the stars above and began to reminisce of her time as King. All too suddenly, her figure seated upon a cold throne seemed to diverge from the image in her mind. The throne became two: one located at the center of the room, while another smaller throne was located adjacent to the first.
Immediately, she understood the meaning of the image.
She wasn't alone.
She shrank in on herself, her hands crossing over her chest as she turned to lie on her side fully knowing that when she fell asleep her Shirou, uncaring of her faults, would be there to greet her with a smile.
Ba-bump.
There it was again. This strange foreign feeling that urged her to find a field of flowers and begin mindlessly frolicking as if she had no other care in the world. Preposterous. Her left hand found its way over her heart and squeezed into a fist.
Even now, she could still recall how close her timeline's Shirou had been to dying because of her lapse in judgement when combating the Beast. She didn't think she'd care so much to have him die, but the very thought sent her into a rage. She'd been angry before, not at Shirou, but at herself.
Damn it. What the hell?
She raised her hand up towards the sky as if tyrannically grasping at the moon to focus her mind, yet at the same time, she almost felt herself melting when she imagined an older version of Shirou cupping her outstretched hand in his own and promising her 'the world' if she so desired. For her, her Shirou would even willingly taint himself in the same blood and sacrifice that had paved the way to her Kingship.
Ridiculous, but what was even more ridiculous was how happy the notion itself inwardly made her.
She uncharacteristically tossed and turned. In doing so, she caught sight of the other older Arturias and realized that she wasn't the only one wide-awake and copping with recent developments. Lily was the only exception because unlike Saber Alter and the other Arturia's struggling with themselves to understand what ailment plagued them, Lily just stared in a daze at the moon, her expression beat red and listless. There was even a dumb smile playing on her lips as if her self image towards her counterparts didn't matter at all.
Saber Alter scoffed, but once again found herself restless much like the other Arturias. She growled while immersing herself in the strange euphoria that she'd felt from the perspective of her child self. Grudgingly, it was comforting, just as much as the thought that her Shirou would always accept her for who she was.
The tips of her cheeks tinted red before she forcibly closed her eyes, subconsciously attempting to see her version of Shirou again. Realizing what she was doing however, her eyes abruptly opened, bloodshot before she soon sighed in defeat.
What was the meaning of love, and did someone as tainted as her even have the capacity for it?
For someone like her…it was too good to be true.
She smiled self-depreciatingly. She'd been a dictator, a tyrant through and through, and there was no way that she could easily change. But so, what? Wasn't she a dictator?
The thought took root in her mind, all but convincing her of her plan of action. It didn't matter if she knew what love was or not, she was allowed to be unreasonable. So, she'd do things her way and forcibly keep her version of Shirou near her.
Yes. Yes, this could work.
Her eyes gradually closed as desire pulled her into slumber.
So, keep smiling, and stay by my side until I tire of you.
Her mind began to drift around an inner mental shell.
Don't leave. Don't you dare leave me.
A shell of her own fragility.
Just like everyone else did.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Parcasious
Parcasious P a treon. com (slash) Parcasious
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone