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0.29% Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World / Chapter 1: Florida Man Gets Isekaied, Pollutes New World
Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World original

Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Author: DamnPlotArmor

© WebNovel

Chapter 1: Florida Man Gets Isekaied, Pollutes New World

Chapter 1 – Florida Man Gets Isekaied, Pollutes New World

"50,000 years already. Time really flies."

Tampa, Florida, the iconic city of an ancient civilization had become a decayed town. High-rise buildings turned into rubbles. Beautiful white sands in the past were replaced with contaminated white ash. Rusty cars with melted tires no longer had an owner and were covered in radiated snow. The thick white clouds in the sky were not rain clouds but ash, blocking the sunlight and the warmth of nature. The temperature was so cold that the green sea was frozen solid.

Despite the harsh nature of the nuclear winter, a lone elderly Caucasian man stood there, gazing at the beach and reminiscing about the past glory of mankind.

Leo was 6'3 and toned. However, his pale withered skin, messy white full beard, and long gray hair had never touched water for the past 50,000 years. Even his ragged and dusty makeshift clothes were over 1,000 years old.

He was the last survivor on Earth, but he was no longer a human. Leo was a 50,000-year-old immortal mutant.

Leo walked toward the frozen sea. He lightly stomped it and caused a huge crack. Then, he picked up a shard of contaminated ice and put it in his mouth. It tasted like burnt plastic, but Leo nonchalantly chewed and swallowed it.


<You are immune to radiation.>

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>

<Your lifespan cannot be increased any further.>

<Your current lifespan: 2,147,483,647 years, 11 months, 23 days, 23 hours, and 59 minutes.>

Leo bitterly smiled at the floating blue screen in front of him, projected from the clear golden ring that he had picked up from an alien spaceship when he was a human. He deeply sighed.

"What's the point of having an infinite lifespan in this decayed world? It's not like I'm going to sit here for zillion years and wait for the Sun to swallow Earth."

The system was a curse to Leo. He could not die as long as his lifespan was higher than one. Every time he committed suicide, his body automatically regenerated and self-resurrected.


A disfigured giant spider broke the layers of the frozen ocean and pounced on Leo. The latter glanced at the spider and raised his left arm, letting it bite him.

The spider gnawed Leo's forearm while the latter dully stared at it. A few seconds later, the mutated giant spider screeched and let go of Leo.

The monster's mouth foamed and collapsed on the ground, dead.

Leo patted his arm. His wounds were instantly healed, and no scar was left on his skin. Unfortunately, his withered skin could not be smoothened.

"Haiz. So boring,"

Leo continued gazing at the desolated frozen sea and complained.


Another monster emerged. This time, a 50-meter-tall green Godzilla broke out of the sea and charged toward Leo. It raised his large foot and stomped him.

Leo dully stared at the incoming monster. He calmly jabbed with a light punch.

Leo's fist and Godzilla's foot collided!


The punch created a massive hole in the monster's foot and punctured through its knee and body. Leo briefly glanced at the sky through the hole in the monster's body and looked away.

The Godzilla fell back to the sea. It stopped moving, dead.

"Goodbye, big guy. I will never eat you again. I'm leaving this world for good!"

After getting rid of the Godzilla, Leo shifted his attention to the system menu in front of him. He touched the floating blue screen and swiped it. He pressed a tab in the menu.

[Lifespan Shop]

An online shopping menu popped up next to the original screen. Leo shifted his attention to the new window and changed the sorting menu in the top right corner.

[Sorting]: [Price from the Highest to Lowest]

The menu was refreshed and the items on the shopping screen showed an image of a green planet. It came with a description.

[Transmigration to Random Planet]

[Price: 2,147,483,647 Years of Lifespan]

Leo bitterly smiled. The item required all of his lifespans to purchase, yet he put the item in the cart anyway.

"With this, I can finally go somewhere else. Goodbye, world."

He confirmed the purchase and paid the price.


<You have purchased the transmigration ticket to a random planet.>

<Your current lifespan: 11 months, 23 days, 23 hours, and 57 minutes.>

<The transmigration will begin in one minute. Please be prepared.>

Leo bitterly smiled as he still have something left in the tank. A year was enough for him to regain his lifespan back.

He stomped the frozen sea again. Then, he picked up as many ice shards and started eating.


<You are immune to radiation.>

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>

Within a minute, Leo managed to eat three mouthfuls of ice shards. However, the freebie time ran out. His body slowly dissipated into dust.




Leo slowly opened his eyes, awakening from his deep slumber because of the nostalgic chirping noises of wild birds. He was greeted by the ray of sunlight and the greenish scent of wild grasses.

"Sunlight… birds?"

He jolted and sat up. Then, he looked around.

Upon discovering that he was no longer on the nuclear winter planet, Leo shed tears of joy. He prostrated and kissed the ground. Then, he stood up and embraced the nearest pine tree.


He hadn't realized yet that everything he touched blackened, and he was naked. Leo ran around in the unknown woods, chasing after birds, insects, rabbits, and wild rats. Then, he accidentally stepped on a rattlesnake.


It bit his ankle! Leo sensed the pricking pain from his left ankle. He looked down and found the angry rattlesnake, whose fangs failed to cut into his skin.

"Oh, silly you. You shouldn't have done that. My blood, skin, and flesh are kinda… toxic. No one survived after biting me."

It was too late for the snake. Its color suddenly darkened, and it swelled. The long smooth body instantly became disfigured.


It exploded, scattering black flesh and blood everywhere. On the other hand, Leo crouched and scratched his ankle as the venom irritated his skin.

The scattered meat swelled and grew bigger. The grasses and soil that got contact with the snake's blood and flesh also turned black. As if the polluted soil and grasses were contagious, the surrounding plants darkened.

Fortunately, the spread stopped after a minute. Some of the grasses turned blue and contained the spread to a limited area.

Leo was relieved. His heart skipped a beat for a moment when the contaminated blood of the snake killed the surrounding plants.

'That was close. I should be more careful.'

Leo picked up the meat and uprooted the contaminated plants. He put them in his mouth and slowly ate them raw.


<You are immune to radiation.>

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>

<Your lifespan has increased...>

Leo ate everything that had the potential to spread the contamination. Tree branches, roots, black meat, dead leaves, and worms in the soil were no exception.



An hour later, Leo finished his first meal. All contaminated plants and mutated snake's flesh were gone, except the black soil.

He rechecked his current status.

<Your current lifespan: 49 years, 11 months, 23 days, 21 hours, and 48 minutes.>

Leo was relieved. His lifespan rebounded a bit, and it was enough to purchase some daily necessities.

He opened the shop menu and checked the online grocery store.

[T-Shirt] – One Year of Lifespan

[Jeans] – One Year of Lifespan

[Sneakers] – Two Years of Lifespan

[Brief Boxer] – One Year of Lifespan

[A Pair of Socks] – One Year of Lifespan

Leo bitterly smiled. The modern good that he could easily get 50,000 years ago cost him six years of lifespan. His total balance dropped to 43 after he pressed the checkout button.


A cardboard box manifested out of nothingness. Leo opened it and found the items that he had ordered earlier. He put them on to maintain his decencies. As for the used cardboard box, it vanished after the items inside had been taken.

After getting his clothes, Leo thought of the days he spent trying to collect the zillion lifespan for this transmigration. He shed a tear of joy.

"No more frugal life. I can just use my lifespan to buy the things I need! But there is a problem…"

Leo was aware of his weaknesses. He couldn't gain lifespan by consuming regular food – Only contaminated food could increase his lifespan.

He looked at the dark soil. He pondered for a while if he should start contaminating this world to increase his lifespan or if he should spend the remaining years like an ordinary human.

After thinking for a few minutes, Leo threw the second idea outside the window. He had second thought.

"I don't even know what kind of place this is. I'll find a water source first, and I'll build a shelter next."

Leo skipped and danced in the forest, enjoying the song of nature. Because of his good mood, he kicked the ground and jumped 1,000 meters high. Then, he looked around while he was in mid-air, scouting the geography of this world.

While he was in the sky, he noticed two landmarks. To the west, there was a large town. The high city walls and fortified moats indicated that the wilderness might be full of danger, or their neighbors might be hostile.

To the north, a massive river flowed from west to east. From a rough estimation, Leo believed that the river was at least five kilometers wide, larger than the Yellow River of China. Noticeably, a glowing rainbow bridge connected the north and south bank together. Leo spotted over a thousand people crossing the magical bridge by using flying ships.

"Wow, people!"

Realizing that he was no longer alone, Leo firmly believed in his life choice. He stopped looking around. Then, he searched for a small river or a small lake. It wasn't hard to find them. Leo found a stream east of his location.


Leo fell to the ground and landed on his feet, causing a small crater. He stood up and rubbed his knees for a moment, resting his bones and kneecaps.

He then traveled east, heading to his next destination.

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