/ Fantasy / Forever Immortal
Synopsis
Jake is a normal guy who got lucky to find a magical being who gave him 1 wish. He didn’t think much about it before instantly asking for immortality! Now he has to deal with that choice in the middle of a black hole taking him to who knows where! This is a book about cultivators and mythical beings in a new place called Nexus. Join Jake in his adventure to the top of the cultivation world!
This is my first book ever written so please send feedback and possibly ideas ^^ I would love to see what you guys can come up with! I plan on trying to be as detailed as I can with the way cultivation works. Also I don’t know how to use some of the features on the app but I plan on putting one or two of those tabs before the chapters to introduce the pictures for the characters along with the cultivation levels.
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4.88
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bro i loved it awesome everything do you its great your first one to take this route on a immortal wish thank you bro you made my day have a good holiday or new year also all ill say is add this " for voices out loud and ' this for voices in head you can do that later don't have to again great work
This is here more as a question to all those who read Forever Immortal. What about the book do you like? What parts are your favorite and what about the book makes you want to keep reading it?
Review made as of 19/02/2023. Chapters Read: 10. Kind of early, but I can't bare to read any longer w/o guarantee of it being better by chapter 20. Writing Quality 4*: No obvious/major mistakes, easily readable. Story Development 2*: Kind of fast paced (not necessarily a bad thing), suffers from character design. Ex: Some dude thinks his a stalker because he was looking at the inscriptions on his girl's room, gets beaten up and his brother beats MC up cuz they're rich. There are also plot holes like all rooms have warning systems for if disciples are in danger, which did nothing when he literally burnt himself to a skeleton. No mention of it being disabled or the Matriarch telling elders to ignore his room specially. Character Design 2*: MC is stupid; tells someone about his immortality right after they killed him nonchalantly and spoke rudely right after. Also seems to lack EQ because he gives information about his talent and implies his immortality to his dorm mates whom he just met because he wants to be "have people who he can trust". One of his dorm mates is a girl who suddenly can't resist touching him and by the title of C11, having sexual interactions with him when they BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER. Again, the rich young master and his brother; apparently the older brother trope only happens once, but he must've been really stupid or confident of his backing (which would've been nice to know what it is exactly and/or how powerful) to engage someone he doesn't know anything about (again, would've been nice to know how knew it was him) in an "illegal death match" in front of a large crowd that apparently would be punished by elders. World Background 3*: Has some basic information, probably would know more when he goes out of the sect.
Reveal Spoiler another great chpt nice he's gonna have a adventure outside the sect soon great have a good day keep it up i hope that all goes well for you and you had a good new year love these chpts there great and a good adventure for the mind
I'm gonna be busy again so will be responding mostly every 2 days but I like these two chpts and that ending of mirza is so funny I was dieing my stomach was hurting man got spanked ahaha have a great day stay safe and keep up the good work truly I like and enjoy it a lot
another great chpt sad one we lost a great sect master prob not best person but hey that's life have a great day i wonder where your going to take us now I cant wait.
hahah i would hate to be one of the shadows bruh the pain hahah dam this a funny chpt super good keep it up man water and clapping all seen and heard by the shadow now that sucks hahahah
nice we meeting the in-laws that threw me off big kitty goth kitty lol i laughed so hard I started coughing hahah like chpt its nice and a pleasant one keep it up have a good day so is she joining the harem lol
Sry for not commenting when you realized this chpt boss/friend was annoying me it was a awesome chpt and the emotions your characters have and show feels genuine so congrats keep it up and have a happy new year and like that this chpt was a technique /training montage
I got to say another great work of art love how Mai was upfront it is true if you want to be friends and i mean true friends that'll protect your back or when you r in need honesty is the most important I'm a marine still in duty and that is the key to any good and humorous relationship have a great day
i loved this chpt it was heart moving and a great way for him to find a way to strengthen his soul awesome work again keep it up great work have a great day
HHAHAHAHAH dint expect that who new a human bomber would show up now thats funny nice work i was cry laughin reading this part hahah man keep it up that loop tho haha
another great work bro keep it up soon it will be a main stream novel i hope the best for you have a great rest of your day and stay safe also cant wait for the type of skills they unlock
loved it all great work fight was nice to not to forced not to rushed just right also the charm felt more natural keep it up cant wait to read more chpts and see the world you envisioning stay safe happy holiday and happy new year
another great chpt can you make it so that yuki can become immortal or that they dual cultivate so she can live longer and get stronger with him and not left behind also keep up the great work