Chapter 153: Rafa's remembrance
-Rafa's pov
'I remembered everything. Ignorance was bliss' I thought, as I picked up Ryu's exhausted body and hugged it, I knew I had done something careless and dangerous. If Ryu's body hadn't accepted my mana, it could've been ripped from inside.
"Ryu, I'm sorry." The tears still painted my cheeks, remembering the one brother I lost while holding the other brother I could've lost.
"Ryu!!" Aiena rushed beside me as she looked at Ryu's face. I could sense pain in her eyes as she chanted more healing spells on Ryu.
"Rafa big sister, let's put big brother into the carriage." Jue, who walked beside us silently suggested, and I just nodded my head too full of memories and chaos from the thought of what could've happened. I stood up and held Ryu in my arms as only I could hold his weight. I know Jue can too for his body; he's always surprisingly strong.
But he didn't try to take Ryu from me as if he knew I needed to hold Ryu more than him.
Once we reached the carriage, Aiena arranged our blankets to form a makeshift mattress, and I put Ryu gently on it.
"Stop scaring me this way, always," Aiena muttered in a low voice as she held Ryu's arm, checking on his pulse. I've only seen Ryu once like this before, but the dread felt no lesser. I could just imagine what Aiena must be feeling.
Everyone was quiet as we all waited for Ryu to wake up. I wanted to see him open his eyes so badly, my little brother, the one who pulled me out of Berserk madness, the one who taught me everything along with Jue and Aiena, the one who didn't think twice about fighting for my sake despite only knowing me for a while.
'Why are you so good to me? I didn't do anything to deserve it.' I thought as I felt my eyes fill with tears again,
Jue and Aiena, now calm, were looking at me. I know they had questions in their heads, but they were being considerate and not asking them. In the many centuries I lived, many humans approached me, but none quite like them.
"Rafa, big sister... What was that?" Jue, who couldn't hold back any longer, asked me; he seemed to have a guilty, confused look on his face.
"Aiena's big sister saw it too, those white wings. I never heard of a wolfkin having wings," Jue asked again. I shook my head as I saw Aiena looking at me too gentle to ask it herself.
"I don't know... It just happened." I lied; I couldn't say the truth; my heart didn't allow me to say the truth that my memories are back and the truth of who I am.
'Truth ends illusions and dreams, right?' I thought as I looked at Ryu, the other brother the world blessed me with, that in some aspects he matched my previous brother, and in others, he was completely different.
'Astarea, fly away, take my revenge!! I'd be looking!! I'd be….' As I remembered my previous brother's words that day, the memories of him chained with the strange, murky, dark mana I felt my heart ache from every direction as I realized that I couldn't live in this happy illusion forever.
'With what I'm, more danger would just follow them... Six cardinal dungeon lords seek his help; he has potential beyond any human I've laid eyes on.' I looked at him again, this time with one of the few gifts I'd been bestowed at the time of my birth:
'If I'm here, he wouldn't be able to grow, and I can't let him be harmed due to my past.' As I thought this, I remembered about hero summoning. If anyone had to be a means of my revenge, I'd rather it be the hero than him.
"Ryu, my little brother." I took his hand and put it on my head, the only being aside from my mother, who had ever patted me, whose pats I craved so dearly. Even if I just get one more day, I want to remain in this illusion so it can carry me to steel my heart for what I have to do further.
'I'm sorry, I'm lying' I looked at Jue and Aiena. Jue spoke with a little smile, although he still seemed concerned for Ryu.
"It is fine. Rafa, big sister, you saved big brother again!! I couldn't do anything."
"That is not right; Jue was brave!!" I pat his head. I can speak properly now. I can show my full praise, but I use simplistic words. He was fearless. Even when he could die, he sent a kukri flying towards that bestial man.
"Jue was much braver than me," I spoke again, as I, who couldn't even move to take action due to just memories, couldn't be considered braver than him. I even did something unnecessary and life-threatening to Ryu; if Mana hadn't been accepted by his body, I shook my head to push the thought away.
"Aiena I'm sorry…." I turned to Aiena and spoke, and she just shook her head.
"Rafa's big sister didn't do anything wrong." I was right; she knew what had happened and how dire it could've been, but she didn't complain. I want to be like her, and I'm jealous of her.
'I wish I could've seen Ryu growing up; I wish I could have been a true family' Suddenly Ryu, who was lying still and breathing weakly on the mattress, shook his body. His hand grabbed my hand as his eyes twitched.
"Big brother!?" Jue shouted, not hiding his joy.
"Ryu!!" Aiena began pouring water into a glass for him to drink, being ever so considerate.
"Rafa sister," he coughed as I tried to speak. A cheeky grin appeared on his face as usual, even though it was evident to us three that he was still in pain. I patted his back as he spoke.
"I kept my promise; I didn't let them take you away." At this, I suddenly felt ashamed for being jealous of Aiena for ever thinking I wasn't true family to Ryu; for him, I was as important.
"You did, Ryu!! You did!! For me!!" I began bawling my eyes out as I hugged him. He seemed pained, but he couldn't resist. I tried to loosen my grip, but I couldn't. I just wanted to keep hugging the little brother I had.
"Why would Ryu go so far for me?" I asked. I knew the answer, but I wanted him to say it. I wished for him to reassure me.
"Rafa, big sister, is my precious family," he patted my head, and I melted. I was still crying; I couldn't stop.
'I don't want to leave, but I have to' I thought I tried to stop crying, but Ryu just wordlessly patted me as he spoke.
"No one can take away Rafa, big sister; we're here for you." Ryu looked at Jue and Aiena, who nodded, and it sent a pang of guilt in my heart. I was going to leave them, and I knew I could not tell them the reason either.
'Once everything is over...' I swear in my heart that once everything is over, my promise to my late brother is fulfilled. I will spend the rest of my breaths with Ryu, Aiena, and Jue. The world has given me a second family; I won't put it in danger like the first one. I won't lose this one. Ryu will grow up better without me.
'And the dangers that follow me' I had my face still buried in the shoulders of Ryu as he spoke to Jue next.
"Jue, was it hard?" Ryu asked Jue gently,
"Big brother, it was necessary, and he was a bad person," Jue replied as he looked towards Ryu like a puppy, and Ryu spoke with a smile.
"Good job, Jue; if he had escaped, we would've had another pile of crap to deal with." I stopped hugging Ryu and moved back so he could drink the water Aiena was holding. After drinking the water, Ryu tried to stand up, only for Aiena to stop him.
"No Ryu!! You're hurt!! You need to rest."
"But Aiena, you healed me well!! I can almost jump, and we don't have enough time to get rid of bodies and escape to Verdanita town. I'll rest on the way."
Aiena seemed pouty, but she sighed as she and I both knew Ryu was right, but even so, as concerned elder sisters, we couldn't help it.
'This is how he's different from him.' I sighed, but then I, Jue, and Aiena all followed behind Ryu as he casually exited the carriage as if he hadn't fallen unconscious after a life-threatening battle just now.
I looked at Jue and Rafa, and then at the back of Ryu, a back that looked wide even to me, who has lived centuries.
'Just a few more days, this illusion, I want to get lost in this,' I thought as I followed behind Ryu, knowing this in my heart.
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Sageash
Sageash I have many dilemmas,
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