Chapter 70: Chapter 66
A.N For you guys who are too lazy and find it hard to critique a story. Just give points according to these categories.
Story Critique Form
1. Originality. On a scale of 1 to 10, how original was this story? A 1 means that the story is cliché while a 10 means that it has at least a couple of ideas that I haven't encountered before.
2. Setting. On a scale of 1 to 10, how well was the setting developed? A 1 indicates that the setting was poorly developed. This means that is almost completely disappeared from the story, or that I felt confused as to where and when the tale took place in one or more scenes. Of course, the author should involve all of the senses in describing his or her setting. A 10 means that not only is the setting well-developed, but it informs every aspect of the story—from character development to tone and narrative style. In a story that rates a 10, the setting itself is a powerful draw for the story, and the author succeeded in transporting me into the tale. _
3. Characterization. On a scale of 1 to 10, how well-drawn are the characters in the story? Good characters should convince us that they grew up in the world or setting that we've placed them in. They should have complex motives and be imbued with conflicting attitudes about life, ethics, politics, and so on. The characters should have friends, enemies, acquaintances, secrets, desires and fears. The character should have a physical body, with a physical history. The character should have a family, of course, and some type of history, along with a place in society. In short, with a poorly drawn character, we know virtually nothing about him by the end of the story. With a well-drawn character, we feel as if we know him intimately by the end of the story. _
4. Conflict and Plot. On a scale of 1 to 10, how interesting are the conflicts? Since the characters, along with their motives and abilities really lead to a plot, then one must also consider the twists and turns of the plot. How inventive are they? How exciting? How engrossing? _
5. Emotional/intellectual payoff. On a scale of 1 to 10, how well did this story arouse powerful emotions? If it did arouse powerful emotions, were they the proper emotions for the intended audience (as gauged by the age and sex of the protagonists)? Remember that the author shouldn't be hitting the same emotional beats over and over again.
6. Theme. On a scale of 1 to 10, how well did this story speak to the reader? Does it raise interesting questions about life and provide profound insights? A rating of "1" means that I don't really see either one. A rating of "10" means that the author astounded me. _
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While Naruto stayed inside the smithy and talked with the men, the girls were getting ready for battle. All of them had similar and different reasons for battle but none wished to give up the fight.
It was not right as an Amazonian to give up after taking the challenge. It would lower their standing in Naruto's eyes.
They needed to win to stand beside him and win his heart. They needed to get revenge for the old transgressions.
Donna stood inside the battle arena feeling the pressure. It was already something that she decided to move on from her past and accept some guy with multiple women, but now she was about to fight for the right to stand by his side and win some points.
It was truly an unimaginable scene but Donna actually felt alive. This love she felt was much stronger than those virgin feelings of old.
The love Naruto gave to his lovers and the love ha gave to her last night was something she had never tasted. It was something she could never forget.
It wasn't just the child. She knew it was unfair. It was selfish of her to enter their lives but she wanted it. She wanted a happy end and she believed Naruto could give her that dream.
Looking at her foe, Donna didn't feel any nervousness anymore as her mind was completely stable. She intended to win.
She was not scared of Diana. She was not the Donna of old. She had changed and evolved over the year. She had learnt that there things that none of them were actually aware of. She had power inside her body that went unnoticed until Raven checked her body.
She had the power of titans inside her body and once activated her power had risen, giving her new abilities.
Her power was growing with time and now she was equal to her sister.
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Rhea had sacrificed herself to atone for her misdeeds which led to a planetary war by sending her own energy out in to the universe to collect children who were near death as suitable successors to the Titans. The Titans bequeathed the seeds most of their powers and taught them how to master their new abilities in a responsible manner. When they reached adolescence, the Seeds were stripped of their memories and sent back to their home planets to develop in their respective environment, but they would be eventually summoned back to New Cronus in the future to claim their heritage and restore the legacy of the Titans.
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Donna wore her silver armor that covered her whole body with daggers in both hands as she had adopted the speed combat style mixed with magic instead of fighting with a sword and shield like her sister.
Diana was also using her golden armor for this battle, meaning she was serious about this battle and they could see that their mother also wore her golden armor.
Donna could see Naruto sitting with the girls by his side watching them intently. He was always like that when some good battles were about to take place.
"Sister, don't underestimate me. That is my advice to you before we start." Donna warned Diana as she stood few meters from her as the battle was about to start.
"We haven't sparred for a year now so I am looking forward to what you learnt. I know why you are doing this and I would love to help you, but I won't go easy on you." Diana replied with a smile as she held her blade and shield.
The wind blew like normal and the dust rose from the ground while the two fighters stood.
"I expect nothing less."
"Okay enough chitchat girls, you can start the fight now and talk later." Naruto said as he stood up and flew to a pillar, standing alone. He wanted to focus and keep everything under control.
Raven was also ready for the battle as it might need her assistance to keep it under control.
"Don't you have longer talks before battles? What hypocrisy is this?" Diana sent a rebuttal.
"Quite wrong, I talk while we fight. You have quite the bad memory there my friend. Now I would love to have a long talk with you but, for now just enjoy the battle." Naruto shook his head with a grin and talked in a teasing tone as he asked for her to start.
"I am coming" Donna started the battle with a dash towards Diana and just before she arrived at the last step, lasers hit Diana from the back disturbing her balance and giving Donna the opportunity.
She did a sliding tackle on Diana at the last moment causing her to almost fall from the impact on her right leg and followed it with a ice beam from the side that pushed away Diana as she was about to hit Donna with her shield.
Donna got back to her feet and dashed at Diana again. She could see that her sister's defence was very good with the armor and shield except for her back and sides from the magic attacks.
She could continue fooling with just those attacks but Diana wasn't so easy to beat and would start attacking soon.
Just like she expected, Diana intercepted her charge with a shield bash but Donna kicked with both legs at the moment of impact while causing the ground to freeze under Diana.
The action caused Diana to be sent flying back as she lost her footing. None of them was utilizing flight her since Amazonians couldn't really fly so in battles on this island, no flight was used.
Diana used her sword to stop the flight and spun her body while giving a kick at the approaching foe.
Donna blocked the kick with her arm and kicked Diana's arm used for the spin but before that she was forced to pull back as the shield came for her head.
Dragged by the dark tentacles, Donna landed a distance away from Diana. She was completely shocked by Donna's fighting style. She didn't even know about these magical powers.
'These powers are making the fight really hard. It matches a lot with Naruto's fighting style when he isn't using clones or Kurama.' Diana could tell Donna had adopted Naruto's style and she knew it was best to attack since defending was going to be taxing and very difficult.
Donna walked towards her sister and threw both daggers at her with full force, at the last moment they vanished while Diana intended to block them with her shield.
The daggers came from the back and caused Diana to spin to avoid the attack while Donna closed the distance between them and kicked from below.
Diana blocked the kick with sword while Donna pulled her leg back with darkness causing her balance to weaken and followed the kick with another kick to her head.
'Damn magic' Diana thought as the kick hit her head and she flowed with it to lower the force.
Donna followed with slashing with both her daggers that returned to her hands but Diana blocked them with her shield.
She followed with flipped and kicking the shield, pushing Diana back while throwing her daggers again and causing dark tentacles to catch her legs from both sides.
Pushing against the air with high speed, she crashed down on Diana with her legs again.
Diana expected the tentacles again and jumped to the side the moment she felt them while Donna crashed into the ground causing a massive explosion.
Diana got hit by the daggers as they broke part of her armor but she managed to move away and avoided the full attack while dashing towards her foe.
Her movement was smooth and without hesitation, she smashed into Donna with shield and sent her crashing into the coliseum wall.
Following that, Diana slashed with her blade and aimed for her sides.
Donna froze the ground underneath them and pushed against the wall to jump away from her attack zone.
Catching her daggers, she threw them again but increased the numbers and directions.
Donna caused the ice to cover Diana to slow down her movement and freeze her body while using the darkness to blind her sight.
Donna pushed against the air and went to the ground before pushing against the ground to launch herself at Diana.
Diana fought against the daggers and the cold but got hit by the tackle as both girls crashed into the wall. Donna quickly hit her sister's chin with her head and her hands with the daggers.
Her daggers were made by Hephaestus and using the power of darkness she could make them appear anywhere.
Diana kneed Donna and headbutted her with immense force that caused her to smashed into the ground before kicked her with the other leg that sent her flying.
She had dropped her weapons and decided they were being a hindrance in this battle.
Donna had improved a lot and magic was causing too many distractions that her low experience wasn't causing any trouble.
But after all that was done, Diana was proud of this achievement and having a lot of fun at the moment.
She dashed towards Donna who had righted herself in the air and crashed into her with both arms extended.
Donna didn't expect her sister to drop the weapons but reacted quickly when her arms came around her abdomen.
She kneed Diana and attacked with her daggers from above but Diana stopped the knee attack with her hand and punched her in the abdomen that sent her higher into the air.
Diana followed it up with kicking the air and kicking Donna but once again darkness caught her leg while dark spears drilled into her body from above and she realized that Donna had been preparing an attack.
Donna kicked her from above and sent her crashing while the dark spears rained down. They all locked onto her abdomen.
Donna followed the attack with slashing down onto her sister with her daggers and cutting her leg.
With that the battle ended as Diana decided to give in. She was impressed by Donna and even though she might have won if they fought for a longer period, it was enough.
Donna could have aimed for head and finished the battle so it was her loss.
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A.N Hope you enjoyed and comment
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