Chapter 24: Letter Madness
The next day, we get a handful of the Hogwarts letters in the mail. Do they know we didn't read them? How!?
Anyways, Vernon is tearing them up in the hallway. And now he's holding the ball of torn apart letters tightly. He really should have waited until he was at the trash can before he tore them, less hassle.
Later, Harry and I are hanging out in our cupboard laughing as Arianna tears apart the paper soldiers I animated to fight her. Then we hear a drilling sound. We peek out and see Vernon drilling a board over the mail slot with a smug look. Then we hear a *RIP* sound and his pants split. Doesn't seem like he noticed though.
Stifling our chuckles, we return back to our cupboard.
The next the morning we hear Vernon shouting on the lawn, so we go to investigate. There we see the strangest sight.
Owls.
A half dozen owls are perched on his car, and he's shouting and waving, trying to get them to fly off. Petunia is next to him, rapidly tapping his shoulder to get his attention.
Once he turns his focus to her, he notices her scared face looking down. Following their lead, Harry and I look at the ground from the window. There we see more letters from Hogwarts.
We withdraw back to our cupboard, were Arianna is sitting in a tiny box. She looks up as we enter, a questioning look on her face.
...
How do I know what a questioning face looks like on a tiger? Don't sweat the small stuff!
I speak first. "This is starting to get ridiculous. How many more letters are they going to send us?"
Harry rolls his eyes. Maybe if we read one, they'll stop sending them."
I stare at him. "... And you don't think that would be weird? The fact that they would know whether or not we read their letters? The fact that they are literally watching us, waiting for us to read them?"
He shrugs. "It is, but we already know they're watching us, so we might as well read it."
I sigh. "Then where does it end? We give into them this time, but what about the next? Or the one after that? If we show them that we can be pressured into following their whims, then they are wrong!" I slap the wall to emphasize my point.
Harry looks at me. On the one hand, he knows I'm right. On the other, I know the curiosity is killing him. I'm curious too!
But we shall not give into temptation!
At least this time.
For now.
We'll see how we feel in a week.
The next night, I'm awoken by some noise coming from the living room. So of course I go to investigate. Burglars? Pft, I can just explode them.
There I find Vernon tending a fire, using even more of the letters from hogwarts.
Hearing my approach, he turns around and gives me a smug smirk. I simply shrug and return to my room for a nap.
Day four of the letter war. Harry and I are awoken by screaming yet again. This time it's different though. Not only is it Petunia screaming, but it's also not directed at us. When we go to the kitchen to check what's going on, we're passed by Petunia rushing out.
Looking inside, we see Hogwarts letters sitting in a mixing bowl. I exchange a bemused look with Harry, and we decide to investigate.Around the bowl we find several cracked eggs, but no sign of any yolk.
Shrugging I grab an egg. I crack it on the side of the bowl, and inside is a Hogwarts letter. I give Harry a stare, and at this point even he is starting to get creeped out by all the letters showing up in weird places.
Day five of the Letter War. More of the same. At least this time the letters weren't somewhere ridiculous. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had taken a bite of food and bitten into a letter.
Dudley stands up from the dinner table, and a flood of letters falls out of his shorts.
Everybody just stares for a moment. Then I push my chair out and stand up. I throw my hands up as I walk away. "Nope."
Day six of the Letter war. It's Sunday.
"Ah, fine day, Sunday. In my opinion, it's the best day of the week." Vernon smugly says to the room. "And do you know why that is Dudley?" He directs a smirk towards me and Harry before turning to Dudley for his answer. Seems like he doesn't realize how creepy we find the letters at this point.
In response all he gets is a shrug. Harry answers for him as he hands him a plate of biscuits. "Because there's no post on Sundays?"
"Right you are Harry! Ha. Because there's no post on Sundays." He grabs a biscuit and takes a bite.
Just then, my attention is grabbed by something flying past the window. I move closer to get a better look past the curtain. There, I see a flock of owls covering the front yard. Is it a flock? I think it is.
I ignore Vernon's rambling about how he's ecstatic about not getting a single letter on Sundays, and instead watch the owls.
My attention is drawn back to Vernon when I hear a *SWOOSH* and he garbles his words. Everyone stares at what flew into his face. A letter from Hogwarts.
Then the rumbling begins.
Our attention is drawn to the fireplace, and Vernon covers his ears while closing his eyes. A veritable storm of letters comes shooting out of the fireplace, swirling all around the room.
The Dursleys are screaming, and I notice Harry grabbing one and rushing to the cupboard. I can't help but sigh. 'This has gone on long enough.' Once he reads the letter, all this ridiculousness should end. Unfortunately, I'm not the only one who notices what he did.
Vernon gets up and chases after Harry with a speed I didn't know he was capable of. He grabs Harry and lifts him before he can open the cupboard, then collapses onto a nearby chair to hold him back.
"That's it! We're going away! Far away! Where they can't find us!" Vernon is practically frothing at the mouth as he screams.
At the entryway to the living room I hear Dudley's terrified voice. "Daddy's gone mad hasn't he."
I heave a deep sigh as I look at all the chaos, but if someone were to look closely, they would notice the lopsided smirk stretching my face.
'I think it's time to give Clarity a call.'
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Nartleb
Nartleb Yo! Had fun writing this chapter. On one hand, yes they should have let harry read the damn letter. On the other, WTF was with the psycho spam mailing? It's like Hogwarts was a Yandere! It would be perfectly reasonable to freak out after the letters show up day after day, and the eggs? That should have been a major flag for Harry.
Like it ? Add to library！
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone