Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Merlin's Whatnot (Edited)
"Sorry, we're not hiring..."
"Excuse me, we don't need any staff..."
"O.W.L.s ten O's, N.E.W.T.s seven O's... This grade looks fake..."
"You've worked at the Ministry of Magic? And you're applying for a shop assistant? Why?"
"Is this Essentia of Xianxian? This method of preparation would be considered unprofessional by customers, sorry, you should leave."
"Your father is Sanders? That dark wizard? Get out of my shop!"
"No one can calculate better than goblins, Gringotts does not need self-righteous wizards!"
"The main job of this position is to clean animal feces, with a daily salary of two Sickles..."
"Bartender? What is that, adding boogers to beer?"
...
"Motherfucker!"
Walking out of the Leaky Cauldron and standing on Charing Cross Road, Murphy couldn't help but swear.
Shitty Diagon Alley.
Shitty wizards!
All a bunch of arrogant, stubborn, unreasonable fools! Sigh! Taking a deep breath, Murphy calmed down a bit.
Looking for a job in the wizarding world is really damn hard!
Because of the existence of magic, Diagon Alley, as the highest-end commercial street in the whole of England, where major chain brand flagship stores are clustered, doesn't even have a decent position.
After all, magic is so convenient that a shop owner can complete most of the work alone, completely without the need to hire anyone.
Only places like potion shops that need professional skills might recruit staff.
But they looked down on Murphy's techniques.
"Clearly the Muggle distillation method is much more efficient than the crucible! And my Essentia of Xianxian's effect is three times that of the traditional method!"
Damn! Stubborn fools! While furiously cursing that shortsighted shop owner in his mind, Murphy quickened his steps.
The job search had already wasted too much time, and he was almost late for work.
Although he was extremely fed up with that job, at least he was still getting paid.
And he really didn't want to continue listening to that fat woman's sarcasm.
Damn Floo Network Authority! If it weren't for their delay...
"Squeak—" A harsh brake sound interrupted Murphy's mutterings, followed by a "bang."
Murphy instinctively turned his head, only to see a red Ferrari F40 struggling to stop, and in front of the car, a small figure rolled many times on the ground, stopping in front of Murphy.
"Ah!! Lisa!" A woman screamed and rushed towards the figure on the ground.
And a man with a Mohawk also got out of the Ferrari, his face pale.
"It was her, she ran out..."
A Muggle car accident.
Murphy was also a bit stunned, looking at the injured little girl.
One of her legs was bent at a strange angle, and the bone was even protruding out from the thigh, blood bubbling out.
"The artery is ruptured! Quick, apply pressure!" a woman shouted.
She seemed to be medical personnel, quickly tearing a cloth to bandage the victim, while instructing the girl's mother to press on the blood vessel.
"I'm a nurse, quick, call an ambulance! You, come help! Press here..."
The nurse directly instructed Murphy, who was standing by, who hesitated for a moment but did not object.
Taking a towel handed over by someone nearby, he pressed it on the wound as instructed, but the blood continued to flow, soaking the towel in no time.
"It's no use! There's too much bleeding, we can't stop it like this!"
The nurse said anxiously, but also without many good solutions, could only ask Murphy to press harder.
"Is it enough just to stop the bleeding?" Murphy suddenly asked.
"Yes, with this amount of bleeding, if we don't stop the bleeding, she might go into shock before the ambulance arrives. Do you have any ideas?"
Murphy didn't say more, threw away the blood-soaked towel, took out a bottle of Essentia of Xianxian he made while interviewing for a potion shop assistant in Diagon Alley, and poured it directly on the wound.
The bottle's ingredients were bought by him, and naturally, he took the finished product back with him.
A wisp of white smoke rose, and the horrifying wound visibly began to heal rapidly.
"What is this medicine?" the nurse was shocked.
Murphy didn't answer, only said: "This medicine can only heal her wound, but it might cause tissue displacement..."
Saying this, Murphy handed the remaining Essentia of Xianxian to the nurse, "Forget it, take the rest of the medicine too. If taken directly, it can also be useful for internal injuries. If there's internal bleeding and the situation is urgent, you can try it. Also, after surgery, drop some on her, it can prevent scarring when healing."
After speaking, Murphy intended to leave directly.
Compared to a life, a bottle of Essentia of Xianxian was nothing, but he couldn't explain the problem with the medicine, better to leave quickly. "Wait."
The Mohawked owner of the Ferrari stopped Murphy.
"You, that medicine just now, I've never seen such an effect before..."
"Get lost." Murphy had no time to deal with a Muggle rich kid.
"Wait, wait, I am a director at Jelida Pharmaceuticals, my dad is the boss, if your medicine..."
The Mohawked man was very excited, even grabbing Murphy's clothes.
"I said get lost!"
The Mohawked man was frightened by Murphy's gaze, hurriedly retracted his hand, making a surrender gesture.
After Murphy walked away, he shouted from behind: "If you're selling the formula, contact me! We'll pay you a lot of money..."
"Heh, Muggles." Murphy scoffed, not looking back.
Sell a potion formula to Muggles?
Let alone the problem of ingredients and preparation, was the "Wizarding Secrecy Act" just for show? After walking another block, Murphy found the red telephone booth.
After dialing 62442, a female voice in the telephone booth said: "Name, purpose?"
"Murphy Darkholm. Going to work."
"Oh, poor boy, Belinda hasn't gotten your employee permit sorted yet?"
"Merlin's asshole, no!"
"Alright, please enter."
The floor sank, turning into an elevator, directly taking Murphy to the Ministry of Magic's main hall.
Exiting the elevator, Murphy saw a bald dwarf coming out of the fireplace across the hall, busily adjusting his robe, trying to appear taller by tiptoeing.
"Hey, dwarf... cough, Dorf!" Murphy went up and patted the dwarf's shoulder.
"It's Director Dorf! Kid!"
"Has my Floo Network application been approved?" Murphy asked.
"It's in process, what's the rush."
"I have to walk three blocks to work every day, you tell me if I'm in a hurry?"
"You could use Apparate to come to work, I remember you have a license."
"My employee permit isn't sorted yet, to Apparate directly..."
"Illegal. Yes, that law was also part of my legislation, aimed at strengthening the Ministry of Magic..."
"So, I only have the Floo Network," Murphy interrupted the other's endless prattle, "Where exactly is the application stuck, it's been a month!"
"Your fireplace is troublesome, you know, because of your parents. This fireplace was previously delisted, to restore registration, a lot of paperwork is needed..."
"How much longer?"
"Maybe a month, maybe two months, if other things get busy, maybe three or four months..."
"Fuck!" Murphy couldn't help but curse.
"What?"
Murphy used Chinese, so Dorf didn't understand.
"Your mom's legs! I curse your fairy board! You dwarf! Idiot! A pig that only eats and does no work!"
Still in Chinese.
"It seems like you're cursing me?"
Murphy turned and left, not wanting to stay a moment longer near this dwarf.
Damn it all!
Since graduating from Hogwarts and joining the Ministry of Magic, Murphy's temper had gotten worse by the day, turning him into an irritable porcupine. He had almost lost control of his anger just now, wishing he could slap that seemingly goblin-blooded ugly face.
"Sigh, calm down, calm down..."
Wizards are fools, wizards are fools...
Forgive them.
With their sardine-like brains, living is already not easy.
Be magnanimous, magnanimous.
After a bit of mental construction, Murphy regained some composure.
Turning his head, he saw someone.
"Director Scringer!"
Suddenly realized that the chapter name was censored for a few words, I might as well fill in a bit, otherwise, it seems strange.
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