Chapter 24: The Art of Deception
That Thursday, the next morning, Harry/Gilderoy decided to teach the Second Year students critical thinking.
"Oh, come now, children. Haven't you figured this out yet? It's been five whole days! I figured out what the monster was that night. It's simple!" He beamed at the class. They were looking more than a bit uncertain.
"Let's look at the facts, shall we? First, it's supposed to be Slytherin's Monster, so we ask ourselves, 'what would Lord Slytherin have as a monster?'"
For the first time in a long time, almost the entire class raised their hands.
"Mr. Zabini."
"A snake," he said with a smirk.
"Correct, Mr. Zabini. It should be from the snake family! Next, what snakes, if any, petrify?"
Nobody raised a hand.
"Okay, rephrase the question. What snakes kill without biting?"
Hermione leaned over and whispered to Neville, who raised his hand. At Gilderoy's nod, he said, "Constrictor's like the Boa or Python."
"Correct, but Mrs. Norris wasn't squeezed to death. Anyone else? No? Okay, what creatures do we know petrify?"
Hermione leaned over to Harry and whispered. He raised his hand. "The cockatrice."
"A good example, I've run across one or two in my travels. But not a snake. Anyone else? No?"
"Excellent! Class homework assignment, Slytherin vs Gryffindor, find me a snake that petrifies!"
The class groaned.
"Open your books to page . . . ."
...
The Second Year D.A.D.A. was almost over, less than ten minutes left, when a phoenix patronus flew into the room. The moment Gilderoy saw the silvery-blue creature he cast a muffling spell around himself and the phoenix. No one else heard it say, "Excuse me, Professor Lockhart, but Mr. Malfoy would like to speak with you. Please come to my office."
Earlier that morning, before breakfast, Gilderoy had taken a 'morning constitutional,' and walked to the front gates and left an alert charm on the gates. If Mr. Malfoy came through the gates, he would know it. Similarly, he had placed one on the gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office.
Unfortunately, they hadn't worked. Just his luck, instead of sending a student or Mr. Malfoy to his class, after allowing the Wizard to enter the school through his floo connection, the Headmaster had sent his bloody patronus instead.
He cast his own patronus, a hyena, and said, "Please tell Mr. Malfoy I would be delighted to meet him in my office as soon as my class is out in ten minutes," and sent it with that message. Then dismissed the muffling spell.
"All right," he said with his brilliant smile, "that should be enough for today. Next class we'll work on falling! Class dismissed!
"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, Mr. Longbottom, and Miss Granger, one moment please!" He really didn't want to include Ron in what was coming next, but felt it might be an opportunity to take points and add a detention or two, and farther separate him from Harry and Hermione.
"Follow me, please." He took them to his office. "Sit," he said, pointing at a couch against one wall.
"Tell me," he said, sitting behind his desk, "What do you think of the class so far? You four cover the entire range of the class, from top to bottom."
The four students looked at each other, they clearly didn't understand why he would ask them that question.
It took him a minute to get them to understand he really did want to know what they thought of his class compared to their previous Professor, and the other professors in the castle. They spent a few minutes telling him how much better he was than Quirrell.
Truthfully, he didn't really care. He was just killing time. So, for the next five minutes they talked about what they thought were the strengths and weaknesses of his class. Ron, naturally, complained about the copious amounts of homework.
When Malfoy appeared, announced by Lockhart's warning chime — and the children clearly saw him walking up to the door in the mirror — Gilderoy acted with precision. With a simple swish and flick of his wand, Lockhart silenced, bound, and disillusioned the children. A second flick and a glamour made the couch appear to be a bookcase. And gave the four a front-row seat for the action.
They were about to get a lesson in manipulation: How to use an opponent's belief in their own superiority and firm belief that they were far smarter to ruin an enemy just as easily as combat.
"Welcome, Mr. Malfoy! What a surprise that you have come to see my humble self," he said as he opened the door and waved the pompous Pure-blood inside with a sweeping gesture.
"I am here on behalf of my son, Professor. It is extremely unreasonable to remove so many house points, two hundred and ninety, for a simple mistake. I, as Head of the Board of Governors for this school, cannot allow this," Lucius Malfoy said in an authoritative voice as he entered.
As the blond-haired suspected-ponce had expected, Draco had duly owled his senior about the insult the Half-blooded professor gave to the Malfoy House. And the subsequent loss of prestige for Draco. That Draco knew his father considered the peacock-dressing Wizard to be rather dim-witted only added farther insult to the matter.
"That was never my intention, Mr Malfoy," Lockhart said in unctuously. "Kindly take a seat here. Please forgive my lack of furnishings to properly honour such an important Pure-blooded and Head of an Ancient and Noble house as yourself," he continued, playing the part of someone desperately trying to placate a powerful superior. "Would you like some tea?" he said, a silver tea set appearing on his desk. "Fresh from India this morning," he added subserviently.
"Thank you," Mr. Malfoy said graciously, sitting and accepting the offered cup.
"Young Draco was lacking quite more than a little finesse in his words and I was forced to do what I did," Gilderoy said, projecting regret at what he had done. "For being a child of such an important House as Malfoy, I was surprised at his failure to employ the cunning and tact that the House of Slytherin is renowned to possess. Not to mention the insult to manners in using such a vile term in front of Miss Parkinson, a young Lady from an important House looking to affiliate itself with yours." Gilderoy had to let the Wizard know his son had transgressed Wizardly etiquette. "One simply doesn't say such things in front of Ladies."
Harry/Gilderoy didn't need legilimency to know what the Pure-blood was thinking. Just watching his expression and listening to his projected emotions gave Lockhart all he needed to know to guide the Wizard down the primrose path to wrack and ruin.
'This fraud wants nothing more than attention and whatever money he can get with it. To have me in this position must puff up his self-importance,' Malfoy thought. "I must accept that my son's behaviour was not up to your expectations, Professor," he said, condescendingly, "but losing so many house points is simply outrageous for such a minor offense."
"I can see that," Lockhart answered consolingly. "He must be very dejected at making such an unlettered fool of himself before his fellow House members." He paused as it thinking. "I suppose I could consider this as an isolated incident of childhood tendencies and reverse the punishment. As you perhaps may have heard, Mr Malfoy, things are quite negotiable with me."
'And there it is,' Lucius thought and smiled inwardly. 'He applies the touch for a bribe almost like a Pure-blood.' "What is your proposition, Mr. Lockhart? I warn you, though, I am quite good at negotiating."
"Your reputation as a negotiator precedes you, Lucius." Gilderoy said. "You don't mind if I call you Lucius, do you Mr. Malfoy?"
The Pure-blood, secure in his knowledge that he was going to soon own the idiot, nodded easily. He planned to put the berk in his place, later, after his usefulness was complete — after his son had achieved high scores and finished the class. Once the dandy was out of Hogwarts, Malfoy intended to show the twit just how dangerous it was to try to use his son in an amateurish attempt to seek favour.
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