My hands and feet tingle at the thought of breaking Winston Academy's only rule. I must be smart about this. From the garden of ephiphany, I walk back into my homeroom. Upon sitting at my desk in the back corner of the room, I am once again reminded of my status in this academy.
Not only by the seating chart, but also by my uniform. I wear a gray plaid pinafore dress with a plain white dress shirt under. Girls must have long and boys must have short hair that never touches the ears or their nape. The higher ranks have a variety of fabrics, colors, and accessories they could customize their uniforms with. They can cut their hair, but not color it. Except the oligarchy, who can wear whatever and look however they'd like. So much for uniformity.
I glance sideways to the other outcasts sitting in the back row. They're just as apathetic as me. Focusing on their work, not making eye contact, and pretending they don't exist. As I examine them, a boy at the end of the row catches my eye. My eyes widen in surprise - this might be the first time I ever made eye contact with a fellow student since my denouncing ceremony. He must be as equally surprised, as his head shoots back at the notebook he was writing in.
Before anyone could see our eye contact, if anyone even dared to look at us, I shot my head back to my papers. The tingling in my hands turned to trembling. Fear of the unknown strikes my heart. Who knows what will happen to me if I break Winston's only rule? I hold my head in my hands, trying to steady myself.
First day rebelling and I'm already scared? I already made the decision so I have to follow through. What's the worst they could do to me? Ostracize me? They hold power over the whole academy, even the administration staff. What couldn't they do to me? They could publicly hang me if they wanted to.
Is that how far I would go just for something to happen in my life? I'm not that desperate. Maybe it's too rash of a decision to act upon. I'm just a hormonal teenager anyway, any decision I make is too rash in the eyes of others.
It's been what...less than 15 minutes and my fear is locking me up? Unbelievable. I raise my head from my hands and fix my hair. Annoyance sparks in my temple as I do this -- I hate long hair. It's ridiculous that they enforce it here. Weren't the uniforms enough? The humanities block teacher walks in, announces the block period is starting, and I go back to being an outcast.
Class finally ended. A normal class session played out as usual. English, history, and anthropology. It was the last block period of the day, so I began packing up my belongings. I stare at the foxglove trees outside as its autumn leaves fall through the metal-framed window. My fear brings shame to me. I guess I shouldn't be too hasty when giving up, though.
On my way out of the classroom, the outcast boy I made eye contact with looks at me once again. He initiated it this time. As I pass by him, he sneakily places a folded piece of paper in the hand closest to him.
No one saw that, right? I guess not - no one yelled at me, no sirens went off, and no student tackled me. Playing along, I don't flinch and balled my hand into a fist, making sure the note didn't leave my grasp.
***
The chilly air bit my nose and cheeks as I ran to the girl's dormitory. The large Victorian structure had English ivy all over. An invasive plant swallowing a school building, how suiting to Winston's situation. My breath is shallow and short, but I still manage to run up four levels worth of steps, where the outcasts live.
I close the door behind my room, lock it, and hurriedly open the note. Neat handwriting wrote:
Meet me at the clock tower at midnight.
- Jian-yu Zhang
Wow, what a creepy note. He could've given some context. It sounds like he wants to hurt me. Or...would this be considered romantic? In a book, it would be. Whatever, I don't have enough experience with people to figure this out right now.
It's almost 4 PM right now. I rush to change and start my school work so I can make it in time for the meeting with the outcast boy from my class. I wonder what this is about? Even with the creepy undertones, my chest tightens in anticipation.
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