The alarm to take my medications wakes me up; it's 8 am and the sun is lighting up my entire room.
My mother knocks and I let her pass.
-Good morning darling -said
-Hello! -I said smiling
-I have a meeting with Versace all day, I'll come back at night, if you need me ...
-I'll call you, I know. Good luck, -I said, she blew me a kiss and ran away.
My mother is a fashion designer, head of design for Gucci, Versace and Prada, in turn is the manager of her own cosmetics company, and also has a daughter with cancer, my total admiration.
I took the pills and then started my usual routine: I start with bathing to the rhythm of Dua Lipa, I opt for a large shirt and I go to the kitchen to see Carmen, our maid, but I consider her part of the family, she has taken care of me since little.
-Hi -I said smiling
-Hi little one, better already? -she said taking my hand.
-Yeah, better now. -I sat down, I turned on my laptop, Carmen handed me my breakfast, a delicious salami omelet and my cup of coffee that is never missing.
I entered my email and had a message from Yale University ... my hair stood on end.
Good morning, Miss Blake Hunter.
I am pleased to inform you that she was admitted to Yale University for a major in English literature. I have attached her schedule for the first semester of this magnificent career. We look forward to meeting you.
Congratulations!
Tomas Harrison.
I choke on my coffee and Carmen freaks out, I laugh and reread every word of the letter.
I do not believe that. Is this really?. If I pinch myself, close my eyes, take a moment and open them ... shit! This is real.
I came out of my moment of shock from a group call with my friends.
-Friends ... My friends -Tasha said crying, I don't know if it was because it didn't happen or out of happiness.
-What happen? -Charlie said in an anguished voice.
-I came in -she said and we celebrated, Tasha will study Biochemistry.
-Your? -I said to Charlie and he cleared his throat.
-"... he's been admitted to Political Relations," Charlie said and jumped with excitement.
-And my favorite writer? -Tasha said and I nodded with tears in my eyes, we're all going to Yale.
-I don't believe it! -I said, wiping my eyes.
-I was very nervous when I opened the mail -Charlie said.
-Tell me about it! -Tasha said and we laughed, she's the craziest of the three.
-How about we have dinner to celebrate -Charlie said.
-Pizza? -I said and they nodded.
-See you at night -Tasha said and we hung up.
What a good day it will be today.
(...)
I had my beautiful Carmen's pasta carbonara for lunch, there is no pasta more delicious than hers, believe me! As we ate, she congratulated me on college, as did my parents. Then I went up to my room, went to my blog, and re-read Matteo Evans' comment...
Old age is just another feeling
How old am I?
Who cares that?
I have the necessary years to lose my fear
and do what I want and feel!
-Matteo Evans
They deserve the explanation of all this stuff ...
For as long as I can remember, I have been passionate about writing and authoring my own words. With the passage of time I have written hundreds of poems and short stories.
When I was diagnosed with cancer I went from the traditional to expose all my feelings in a few lines and that is how the first comment by Matteo Evans appeared, I remember so much that he said: "Cancer is for those who want to feel sick"; such an insignificant and incoherent phrase that he blew me away.
Now every time I write, he comments and leaves me speechless; I have never dared to speak to him because he is sometimes conceited with what he says, but the time will come when he will have it in front of him to truly judge him.
To get out of that thought, I put on some music and decided to organize my room as if to kill the boredom of being at home. I start with my closet, then the drawers of the study, in turn the table of my pills and creams for my massages every night that Carmen does all over my body (before being a servant she was a therapist).
(...)
I was ready for the big dinner, I opted for a white hoddie and some comfortable shorts, no makeup, just a little ChapStick and perfume.
I went downstairs, quickly made some cinnamon cookies with white chocolate chips (I also like pastries), the guys rang and Carmen opened, I heard Charlie say hello as usual and I smiled.
-I guessed it -Tasha said.
-It smells like cookies from the outside -Charlie said and put 3 pizza boxes on the counter.
-Idiots! -I said and we hugged. -Congrats!
-Likewise -Charlie said and hugged him tight.
-Let me go! -I yelled, -my weak bones do not resist!
-Uh! I'm sorry -she said and I laughed.
The cookies came out, we took everything to my room, Tasha put on her music and we had a great time.
(...)
-David is going to Yale too -Tasha said, looking at the cell phone.
-Oh no! Charlie said.
-Friend, forget about him. An eternity ago you broke up -I said.
-Agh! You know that we both look for each other -said Tasha
-But he was a cheating dog! -Charlie said.
-I know, I know! -Tasha said.
-Hey and ... Matteo? Charlie said.
-It's the same -I said.
-Tell me when you will take the courage to write to him -he said.
-Never, I'd better leave it to my imagination -I said and laughed.
-I think the time has come to go, my mother needs me -said Charlie
-Someday you will stop taking me home -Tasha said, I laughed, I hugged them, we went down to the first floor, I accompanied them to the car and they left.
I went back inside, Carmen gave me the usual massage, put on my pajamas, brushed my teeth, took my dose of pills, went to bed, grabbed my laptop, closed my eyes and wrote on my blog ...
And when the mountain of life
be hard, long, high and full of abysses,
loving the immensity is the only hope
to save your freedom.
-Blake Hunter
Again, surprised by my feelings, I wait a few minutes, reload the page and there it appears ...
I'm afraid to see you, need to see you, hope to see you.
I want to find you, concern to find you, certainty to find you, poor doubts to find you.
I have an urge to hear you, joy to hear you, good luck to hear you and fears to hear you.
In short, I'm fucked and radiant perhaps more the first than the second and also vice versa.
-Mario Benedetti
Let me know if I understand ... Is this a very direct hint?
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