Chapter 8: CH 8 DODOS AND LETTERS
-- back to Harry --
finding that nothing happened... and feeling dumb for expecting to know if something happened harry puts the fedora away.
--
*POP*
"master I bring the egg!" Mompy says happily while giving Harry an egg.
"it's fresh from a chicken farm nearby! muggles always leave them out and about master! much food is there!" Mompy tells Harry happy about stealing food from some poor farmer.
"wait... you're stealing the food?!" harry exclaims in shock while still grabbing the egg, he honestly didn't care for the theft but it did surprise him that elves seemed free to steal shit from at least normal people... very exploitable...
"hmm? master all elves take food, we've all been told muggles are paying taxes for protection since they are very primitive." Mompy says oblivious to how dumb that sounded.
Harry thinking of this new information had come to a conclusion... potters are not good guys, with that bitch Lucretia and the elves stealing shit... yeah they aren't good guys.
"ok... whatever can you guys take... payment? in other forms? like for example precious gems?" harry asks.
if the elves can steal shit then he's gonna be a VERY rich happy camper... wait he hasn't even checked what he owns, deciding to remember to ask he waits for mompies answer.
"gems? why would master need gems? potter castles vault is full of them." Mompy says with confusion.
"... ok good to know but gems was an example can you st- take payment in other forms?" Harry presses Mompy.
"mhmm we elves can." mompy continues still confused about why they'd need to take other stuff since they only needed food.
"Good... good... ok you can go back Mompy." dismissing Mompy harry walks towards the middle of the field, harry looking around uses wind blades to cut some of the grass making it nice for his experiments.
taking out the dodo inator Harry couldn't help the awe at seeing... a fucking self-destruct button.
"what."
harry couldn't help but remember that Doofenshmirtz is a self-destruct fanatic and always has a big red button ready for his shits destruction.
"Okay so I'd love to remove that shit but I have no idea how to do it without destroying something so... fuck I just have to hope nothing decides the big red button is extra pushable."
harry still couldn't believe how dumb the button was, deciding to just continue his experiment he takes out the egg and after putting it in its holder he shoots it with the inator.
*PHEW*
getting shot by the inator the egg cartoonishly jumps out and lands on the floor growing in size and gaining a green tint it lays there on the floor... but then it happened.
*CRACK*
a stupid-looking fully grown dodo bird's head pops out of the eggs shell.
"I don't know if this is a real dodo or if the inator made something that looks like one but goddamn is it ugly as fuck."
watching the dodo walk around and just be a stupid bird Harry decides to test out other items, putting the bird inator away Harry grabs another item.
"yar yar? YAR YAR!" the dodo hearing Harry call him ugly yells in anger for it was beautiful.
taking out the hydro silk robot Harry throws it around watching it scurry away from him.
"hmm... fuck no matter how I look at it, it looks so stupid whoever created this thing needs mental help."
admonishing whoever was dumb enough to create it Harry grabs it and thinks of how it could be useful.
"... ok I have nothing it's just a dumb toy... should I keep it for the novelty? or throw it away?"
as soon as harry started to talk about throwing the robot away, hydra (her name) lifts up her hands trying to show she could understand him.
"hmm? can you understand me?" harry asks after noticing the small robot waving her arms to get his attention.
*nods*
"hmm if you can understand me... system what exactly is the hydro silk robot." harry asks because the robot was counted as a summon but an item so... what's going on?
[(hydro silk robot)ever wanted a transforming robot woman's razor? well now you have one, it can transform into a woman's razor and a small razor-headed robot. (comes with a low-level AI fully loyal to the host.)]
"low-level AI? hmm... can you hide in someone's clothes and assassinate them?"[1]
harry asks the robot, thinking of all the people he could kill with it... hmm very nice.
*nods*
"cool." harry says while meeting yeeting the robot into his inventory.
"still see it as a stupid item." harry mumbles as he checks his system for other items.
"hmm I got an oil tanker... those troll nuts... and the apples, hmm the apples are op I'll save them for later, the oil tanker... yea no, at least I have these nuts.
*throws a nut at the dodo bird*
"YAR? YAR YAR YAR!" feeling a piece of metal hit him he screams out extremely afraid.
"I better come back finding you sleep deprived... test subject 1."
Harry was hoping for 1 thing and that was to test how bad the nut was... was it stupid to use a dodo bird instead of an elf? yes, will he correct it and use an elf? fuck no he won't waste another nut for that.
Deciding to finish up harry heads back inside ignoring the dodo's yars of anguish.
during his walk toward his room harry hears a loud *POP*
"masters Hogwarts letter has arrived!"
Harry turns around to find chimpy there holding a very nice looking letter, grabbing it harry opens it up to find what he's read a million times in fanfictions.
'Dear Mr Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...
---
[1] the assassination thing came from a comment I swear to god i only added the hydro as a gag item.
(showing status:
NAME: harry j. potter - SKILLS:(ACCIDENTAL MAGIC-AMATEUR)(cosmetic - freeze walk - master)(elemental control - master) - GACHA TOKENS: 5 - BLOODLINE: (EXPERIMENT 8 BODY) INVENTORY:(hydro silk robot)(Aframax oil tanker)(Discord mod fedora)(nut of annoyance-17)(Apple of knowledge-5)(box of truth)(dodo-bird-incubator-inator)(dildo panty-4)]
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