Chapter 404: How to become a perfect household husband?
Friday was one of the days Shishio anticipated the most since he would have a weekend tomorrow, which meant he could freely spend his time with his girlfriends.
Luckily, Shishio is a student right now since if he is a social animal, without a doubt, he might have to go to the company even during a weekend, considering how dark the employment is in this country is.
If there wasn't any system, Shishio might as well become a bureaucrat and let himself be supported by the taxpayers, enjoying the nine to five work five days a week.
While the salary wasn't as high as the executive of the companies, it had fewer work hours and stable income since he knew that he didn't need to worry the company that he worked for would go bankrupt, considering he would work for the country.
Anyway, with such a random thought on his mind, Shishio entered the Service Club almost late. As he entered the room, as expected, he was being reprimanded by Yukinoshita.
"You're late!"
"Sorry, I am too lazy to go to the club."
"...." Hikigiya.
Hikigaya stared at Shishio with dead fish eyes speechlessly. If it was a normal Riajuu, they would say that they were busy with their class or friends, or something like that, but this guy dared to say to Yukinoshita that he was lazy to enter, which made him amaze somehow since he didn't dare to do it.
Yukinoshita wanted to scold Shishio again, but he suddenly said, "That should be the case, but when I think that I can't see you today, I change my mind and go to the club in a hurry, which is I am glad since I can see you today, Senpai."
"...." Hikigaya.
Yukinoshita quickly looked away, trying to hide her blush, but Shishio could see her ears were red, showing how cute she was.
However, Shishio didn't intend to tease her any longer and pulled the seat on the back, putting it near Yukinoshita.
Yukinoshita didn't say anything when Shishio sat next to her and asked, "So, are you busy with something?"
"Yes." Shishio nodded and said, "Nana is going to move."
"Nana? Where?" Yukinoshita asked.
"Near your apartment. Remember the apartment that I have told you about before?"
"Oh? There?" Yukinoshita was surprised since they would be living so close from now on.
"She'll have a moving party later. Do you want to come? I'll cook."
"...Okay." Yukinoshita nodded after a moment of hesitation, but when she thought about his food, she decided to agree since she knew how delicious it was. "What are you going to cook?"
"Italian cuisine."
"You can cook Saizeriya food?"
"...." Shishio and Yukinoshita looked at Hikigaya, who interrupted their conversation.
Being stared at by Shishio and Yukinoshita, Hikigaya knew that he had messed up. However, it couldn't be helped since Shishio suddenly said he could cook Italian cuisine, which was one of his favorites.
As for what Saizeriay was, it was a fast-food Italian cuisine in Japan.
While it was mostly disdained by Riajuu, it was Hikigaya's favorite place.
"Yeah, it's something similar, Senpai. By the way, I am glad that you joined, or else I'll forget your existence here," Shishio said with a warm smile.
"...Can you not do something so cruel with that kind of warm smile?" Hikigaya must admit that Shishio's words were cruel, but it was better than being ignored.
"By the way, don't compare Shishio's foods with Saizeriya," Yukinoshita suddenly joined.
"Huh? Why?" Hikigaya was confused.
"There's no comparison at all." Yukinoshita was in a daze for a moment and said, "His food is so delicious."
"....."
Hikigaya looked at Yukinoshita in a daze, wondering how food could make the famous ice queen in Suimei have such an alluring expression.
Shishio was also in a daze, and if he didn't know how delicious his foods were, he thought he might have had a one-stand night with Yukinoshita before.
"Ahem!"
Yukinoshita awoke and looked at Shishio.
"Still, I am surprised that you came, Senpai." Shishio looked at Hikigaya in surprise and said with a gentle smile, "It's alright. It's normal for a high school boy to want to have a girlfriend."
"That's not it!" Hikigaya quickly refuted with blush and said, "I didn't come here because I want a girlfriend! Don't look down on me!"
"So you want a boyfriend?"
"Of course not, dammit!" Hikigaya felt that his emotion was really high whenever he talked with Shishio. Not that he hated it since this strange banter didn't make him feel uncomfortable. It felt like he had a friend or something. Well, he had never had a friend, so he wasn't sure how it felt. However, it might feel this way, probably.
Shishio let out a sigh and said, "Senpai, as I have said before, it is normal for a high school boy to want to have a girlfriend. If you don't want them, you're either unpopular or gay."
"So, which category is he in?" Yukinoshita asked.
"It should be unpopular," Shishio said without hesitation.
"Can you not talk bad about me right in front of my face!?" Hikigaya really wanted to cry somehow.
"Senpai, that's where you went wrong. If you want to talk bad about someone, you should do it right in front of the guys instead of talking behind their backs. This way, you can react and respond to their bad talk. On the other hand, if we talk bad about you behind your back, you can only pretend nothing has happened with a forced smile as you talk with us, right? If that's what you want, I don't mind, though, but are you okay with that? The youth that is full of lies, not something genuine, is that something that you want?" Shishio asked.
"...Something genuine..." Hikigaya stared at Shishio in a daze since he felt Shishio could understand him.
Even though they were different.
Hikigaya was at the bottom of the hierarchy, but Shishio was the one who controlled the hierarchy.
However, strangely enough, Hikigaya felt that they were similar to each other.
"What? You think we're similar to each other?" Shishio asked with a smile.
"...." Hikigaya.
"You're not wrong."
"Eh?" Hikigaya was dumbfounded.
"However, at the same time, we're different. If you see the world permissively, I see them positively. That's the difference between us, so even if I become a scumbag and even announce it to the school that everyone knows about it, there isn't much of change on me, right?" Shishio smiled and said, "I live well, and I still have my girlfriends. Nothing has changed at all. If there's, then I don't need to hide my relationship again, which makes us more comfortable."
"So your intention is to announce it to become a scumbag so you can flirt with any women that you want?" Yukinoshita asked with a frown.
"Of course not!" Shishio quickly looked at Yukinoshita as he held her hands naturally. "I just don't want to fool them and prove that I am serious about them when I have decided to confess to them."
Yukinoshita looked at Shishio for a moment and nodded. "I understand, but is there a need for you to hold my hands?"
"Is that not okay?"
Yukinoshita lightly hammered his arm before looking away.
"...." Hikigaya looked at the two and wondered whether they had become a couple without one knowing it.
Still, Hikigaya must admit that he was quite jealous. After all, similar to what Shishio had said before, no high school boys weren't interested in having a girlfriend. However, with his pessimistic view of life, it would be quite difficult for him to do so since if a girl suddenly confessed to her, he would think that the girl might have lost a bet instead of confessing because of love.
"Well, Senpai, have you found something that you want to achieve in this club?" Shishio suddenly asked.
"Something to achieve?" Hikigaya was looking at Shishio in doubt.
"If you don't want a girlfriend, how about we help you to achieve your other goal?"
"My other goal?" Hikigaya doubted and asked, "So you're going to help me to become a perfect household husband?"
"....." Yukinoshita.
"Well, if you want to become a perfect household husband, you need to master three things?" Shishio said confidently.
"Please say!" Hikigaya turned all of his attention to Shishio as if he was going to worship him as a teacher.
"....." Yukinoshita.
"Do you know the three great desires of humans?"
Hikigaya frowned and asked, "You mean hunger, rest, and lust, right?"
"That's right." Shishio nodded and said, "If you want to become a master of household husband, you need to master those three things." He raised three of his fingers and explained. The first desire is hunger, so you need to become a cooking master."
"My cooking skill isn't that bad. It's easy for me." Hikigaya was confident.
"The second is a rest. So you might need to master a massage skill for your wife, who supports your life. Is that okay?"
"Oh, leave it to me. I am a pretty talented guy, so I can learn that type of skill easily."
"It's great that you have such confidence."
"..." Yukinoshita let out a tired sigh, but she didn't say anything since even though their conversation was ridiculous, Shishio's explanation was logical.
Still, Hikigaya felt confident since he felt that he could become a perfect household husband after hearing Shishio's explanation.
"Lastly, this is the most important. Lust." Shishio looked at Hikigaya and said, "You need to master the art of sex."
"....Sex." Hikigaya was dumbfounded as his face was quite embarrassed, but he was so interested in this type of conversation.
However, Yukinoshita quickly slapped Shishio's head. "What the hell are you talking about?!"
"Calm down, Senpai." Shishio quickly held Yukinoshita and guided her to sit down, so she would calm down. "I mean, my explanation is logical, alright? You need to master the art of sex, or else you might get NTR'd."
"......"
Hikigaya somehow gulped.
"While it is impossible for me to teach you technical knowledge since you're a virgin...."
"Who-Who said that I am a virgin?!" Hikigaya was like a cat whose tail was stepped on and glared at Shishio.
"Er... you're one, right?"
"...." Hikigaya.
"Anyway, let's continue."
"..." Hikigaya plopped on his seat as he was defeated.
"What you need to do is to build muscle."
"Muscle?" Hikigaya was dumbfounded.
"Yes." Shishio nodded and said, "You might think a muscle is useless, but I don't think so. It's like a girl who is working hard on their make-up and dress. We, guys, also need to work hard on our muscles."
"..." Hikigaya wasn't sure what to say since his answer was so unexpected that he could only stare at him in a daze.
"Hmm, that's unexpectedly good advice," Yukinoshita said in agreement.
"Right?"
Still, while they were about to continue their conversation, the door suddenly knocked on, and they could see someone was about to enter.
"Come in," Yukinoshita said.
"Excuse me."
A beautiful girl with fair skin, light orange hair with a loose side bun on the side, and peach-reddish eyes appeared before them.
<Target has been found!>
<Congratulations, you have received a "Drummer Mastery">
"Hmm?"
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