Chapter 11: Chapter 10: Lily's POV
I still remember the first time I saw Sam.
It was 7 years ago, back when we were juniors at Sam's old middle school. At that time, I did not know too much about him except for him being one of my classmates. Sure, he was kinda good looking. Even so, I could see that Sam never really paid any attention to anyone else but Marie as he spent all of his time staying by her side and doing whatever she wanted. Girls sometimes would come to him and he would gently let them go. And that was completely fine with me. I did not want to get close to him or anything. There was a dream I had to achieve.
My mom was the school nurse, and I wanted to become a doctor in the future. Which was the reason why I was at the infirmary all the time. My affinity for Light and Water also was very handy for the profession that I chose, being able to alleviate pain and stress. During my stay at her office, I helped my mom with most of the minor injuries due to mock battles and training for the students to build up my experience as a health care provider.
To save time finding things, I always had some first aid tools available in various pockets of my lab coat. Knives, needles, bandages, I had a lot of those. They did come in handy quite a few times actually. In addition to those, I had a small notepad with me at all times because I wanted to make sure to write down all the cases that I did. By writing and reading them later, I could see what went wrong and find a way to improve myself.
At least, that was the plan. I never knew that one day I would only write things about a single man. Not to mention in volumes.
I would say that 80 percent of my tools were used only for Sam. Everything I did for him was for free, damn it. He has to pay me back with all of his income every month in the future when we get married.
The guy probably had a few screws loose in his head, I would not lie about that. Never had I ever seen him without a wound. Small ones, big ones, he had them all. Some actually needed surgeries for the goddess' sake. His entire body was covered in scars. There was hardly anyone that had a third of what Sam had.
If one was to put him alongside a bunch of young yakuzas, they would not be able to distinguish Sam the student and the gangsters at all.
That was when he was 13!
To be fair, I did not pay that much attention to his body at first. What he did to himself mattered naught to me. Personally, at that point in time, he was but a speck of dust. Our paths were never going to come across anyway. He wanted to follow Marie to the best high school for magic in the prefecture, and I wanted to focus on my science for my dream of being a doctor. That was really my idea.
Until I saw him crying alone in the infirmary.
It was 7:56 PM, Monday. I was getting back from the restroom and was about to go home. My mom was already waiting for me on the outside. Yet I could not leave. Curiosity swelled in my young, teenager mind. Standing next to the door, I had to know what was going on. Drama was always welcome.
The guy was looking for something, that was obvious. I heard the noise of items falling and tumbling around, bottles of medication being tossed here and there.
He did not say a word but kept on crying.
It was getting on my nerves.
"Show me something worth my waiting, you cry baby!" I walked in on him.
"Wha...who?"
"I'm in charge of this infirmary. Well, maybe half in charge. Why are you here at this time? Stealing something?" I showed him my keycard with a name tag on it.
"Ah. Sorry." He wiped his teary eyes immediately. They were a normal brown. "I'm a student. The name's Sam. Pardon my intrusion!"
"I know who you are. We go to the same class. Tell me what are you doing here and why you were crying." My voice was cold. I really treated him like a stranger.
"I'm just trying to find the pain killers."
"What about the second part?"
"Which second part?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" He shook his head vigorously.
"I am more or less the most medical capable person in this room. And unless you give me a reason for why you were crying while looking for ibuprofen, you are going to leave this place with empty hands."
"...It's personal."
It was working. Just a bit more.
"Doctor and patient confidentiality. Your worries are safe with me."
"It's...it's just...I don't know you..."
"I am the doctor in this room. So do you want the ibuprofen or not!?"
"I just lost another mock battle."
"And you go crying alone like before because of a match?"
"...It marked my 100th losing streak."
I went silent. Dumbfounded, to be more exact. 100 times. It was a big number for a losing streak.
"Life is just not fair. I was born with low affinity and a small mana pool. By the time people got to learn a basic fireball, I was hardly making candlelight."
I let him continue.
"I kept pushing, you know. I had a promise with a childhood friend of mine that we were going to be together forever. At this stage, I won't even be able to be in the same class with her next year! Do you really feel the need to talk to a worthless being like me?"
"Sorry...I...should not have asked." Words could not escape my mouth. I regretted my actions.
"Can I just have the pills, please? I need to get back to my training."
"Here." I took a bottle out from my lab coat.
He looked at the coat, then looked at the bottle. It seemed like he was uncertain how I could hide such a thing underneath a thin fabric.
"Thanks."
Sam put the medication in his pocket and walked out, not saying anything extra.
"Hey!"
Sam stopped but did not turn his head back at me.
"I'm Lily, by the way."
"Hi Lily, I'm useless."
He then walked away. His voice was trembling in sadness.
"Stop by if you need more!!" I called out to him.
In the darkness, I could figure out a nod.
Since then, I started paying attention to him. That night, I wrote my first note about our first meeting.
Sam did not even once intentionally go back to the infirmary after our first encounter. I thought he did not want Marie to misunderstand anything. To my knowledge, Sam had no friend. Furthermore, he was always trying to stay away from girls.
I wanted to understand him a little more. Why he was so depressed, why he was so devoted.
Through my friends, I found out that Sam was born with a weak blessing. Yet Marie, his childhood friend who gave him a promise to be his bride in the future, was greatly blessed.
Sam was suffering from an inferiority complex. He was always feeling weak and talentless. He was afraid that she would leave him because he did not show any worth. And his thoughts drove him to tears.
I noticed that every day when Sam was done walking Marie home, he would come back to the school for his extra training. He would either stay at the gym, the library, or the classroom after school to continue with his studies until late at night.
Whenever he was at the gym, I would find a place and just observed him from there. His dedication was astounding. I have seen him doing training far more than recommended. Each time he collapsed afterward, I would come in, pulled him to the infirmary, and put him on the bed. Then, I would just sit there to look at him until he woke up.
At first, he was surprised, to the point of being annoyed. But thanks to me being good at disguising myself as a caring doctor, he kept on working out at the gym instead of another place. But truth be told, I did not think he had the money for that.
We started to talk more, and Sam started opening up more. Sadly, his topic was always Marie. He even told me to keep a secret of him working out alone until late at night from Marie. Sam did not want her to worry even a little bit.
He asked me for advice on which gifts to give her for her birthday, for the new year. He asked me which trend was nice for someone like Marie.
Not once did he pay attention to me. On Couple's day, where boys would receive chocolate, he outright refused mine. He would rather drink water than eat the lunch I prepared for him. The bastard was brainless.
People would be curious to see my face underneath the mask, but Sam never even said anything that came close to the topic of my face.
It was always Marie this, Marie that. What she was wearing, what she was looking for.
The worst was that it continued for 7 years. 4 years of middle school to 3 years of high school.
The guy was clearly a simp.
And I was envious of Marie. What did she have that I did not?
I was the one nursing him back to good health when he was sick.
I was the one putting him on the bed when he could not lay a finger.
I changed his clothes, I saw everything.
Every scar on his back, I knew each of them better than my own skin. I even had a collection of drawings of his whole body. I had a jar of his nails labeled chronologically at home.
He should have paid attention to me and me alone. I was the only one who appreciated him. He should have paid attention to me. He should have loved me instead of her. I should be feeling happy when he called my name, not pain and sadness whenever he mentioned her name.
What did Marie do?
Absolutely none.
My head was filled with his images. I had to make him realize the truth. The truth is that Marie did not deserve him one bit. My heart started to flutter every time he came into the infirmary. He had to be mine. I must have him.
If I could just murder Marie, I would take her place, and have Sam all to myself. I would let him do anything to my body, anytime he wanted it.
My heart and soul were his.
By the time I realized, I had turned into a simp myself.
It took quite a long time, but I was certain.
I loved Sam.
I love him still.
When I saw him being rejected by Marie in the garden, I felt like my heart was cut open.
It was a weird feeling, mixed between extreme sadness because of Sam's grief, and extreme joy, also because of it.
He could see that Marie did not want him.
I could finally be out from the shadow. I could finally say "I love you!" to Sam. We could be a family, we could raise our children together.
Although my hatred for Marie was exceptionally big, I had to thank her from the bottom of my heart.
If she did not reject him like that, Sam would still keep going. Just like I was doing with Sam.
With the rejection, I could finally be his only one.
Euphoria and ecstasy filled my body the moment I saw that chance. When Sam was gone from the garden, I used my handkerchief to soak up most of his blood on the ground.
I would not waste a single drop of it.
Just thinking about what I was going to do to it that night, down there, I was already wet.
Sam, dear.
Sam.
Sammy.
SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM.
GIVE UP SAMMY. SHE DID NOT WANT YOU.
BUT I DO.
COME.
TAKE ME INSTEAD.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Parmesan
Parmesan Oof. Did not think it would be this long.
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