/ Fantasy / Ichor Genos
Synopsis
Greed. Rage. Grief. Love. A smouldering tinder, waiting to shift the balance between Astral Realm and Earth.
A land in turmoil, plagued by treachery and chaos. Most people suffer quietly. Few stand up and rebel. Some fight for better world while some for themselves. Some just don't give a damn and are Indiffrent.Some keep a facade and use a poisoned dagger instead of a sword.
The Astral Realm and Earth, will they fight back like a cornered tiger or be burnt to cinders by the enroaching maws of fate.
Will the people be afraid of danger? As Danger is an objective existence and fear is only a choice...
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Being an orphan from a young age to getting adopted in a upper middle class family, Kai considered his life to be a very fulfilling one but he did not expect this life to be also a short-lived one as his own friend killed him due to coercement from a rival of his father's.. Now warped into a sci-fi fantasy world, he stumbles upon various people, places and also some ungodly archaic secrets that are long forgotten...
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~Do you want to be a part of this journey, If you do then please read Ichor Genos...
The cover is an AI-generated image, if someone wishes for me to take it down, I will do so.
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So, I have only read a single chapter but I can say your story definitely has promise! I do have some points however that I would like to dish out. Please do not take this an attack, I merely want to help you. Firstly, your beginning is interesting, however I feel like your scenes lack impact. I don't mean their concept lack impact, but the delivery more so. You more or less say rather than show. I think your scenes could do better with more development and building of the surroundings. Describing the things like the blood, potentially an insight to the protagonists feelings before its revealed he has been shot, something like that would help. Finally I'd like to comment on your paragraph spacing when it comes to like the system comments. If you spaced them more out I think it'd look better and feel more like a menu or announcement screen that had popped up, unless you were going for something totally different. Anyways keep up the good work and keep writing!!
Shameless author here... Hehe, as you may already know that this is my first novel so i hope you all don't roast me too much for this but positive criticism is appreciated. Please do tell me about any grammatical errors so I can correct them. So now about the novel, It will be a slow burn at first but as I get accustomed to writing, it will get better. I have a general direction for the novel, and I have many creative ideas for the novel which may or may not be included. And last of all I can promise you that I can deliver you a great novel..🧐👋🏻