Chapter 2: 2. She’s the One
"Chal tera junoon chalte rahein,
Tu kahin teher nahin.
Dil agar aa bhi gaya,
Woh tera shehar nahin." [Hindi]
"Let your desire walk with you,
Don't you stop anywhere.
Even if My heart falls for you,
Then that will not be your city." [English]
"Wah wah, wah wah", satisfying with my poetry at my house.
But I knew the day when I started writing these lines, and those days were memorable.
I had kept changing schools. But that didnt made me to break the contacts with all of my friends. As I was a person who kept his words, I would call them to my house for a party and we would chat and enjoy ourselves for hours. I decided to attend one of the programmes from my past school and It was the time during the end of my ninth grade that, I was excited to see all my friends.
The moment I met my friends and the rest of the staff members, a girl passed by me. I was motionless. My heart started beating faster.
I don't know who was she.
"What just happened?", I was being aware of myself for the first time. I started to look around for her. And my bad luck on that day was that all the students were wearing the same dress—White shirt. I started to become restless. Finally after sometime, I saw her for the first time and my heart stopped beating the moment I saw her. I was numb. "What in the world of bliss and beauty she has, that made me speechless; to speak to her is to die for an episode of 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S.' ", I thought. But all were rubbish. I forgot about everything and started to make a conversation.
"Heya...", I said, but she never looked at me. "Wow! What a girl, now I know why and how does Bollywood make a lot of money in love-stories".
I waited for her after the programme at the school's entrance gate. And there she comes with her friend, leaving for home in an auto. I waited there, just to see if she would palat (turned back) for one time and bid good bye to me, just like in DDLJ. I don't know how can they just blindly believe in it, that if a girl turns back and smiles at you, it means that you are in a relationship with that girl. Well that surely gave the youth a booster though. And when I whispered in my heart palat, she looked at ke and smiled. I was awestruck at that moment.
" heya, whom are you waiting for?", smriti, my best friend from my past school.
"Well no one as of now, hey who is she? Is she in your class?", wanted to be straight to her for the first time.
"Who? Oh she, she's palak, don't you remember. You both shared the same transport for home"
Ah yes, that is such a transformation.
"Ok, I want her phone number", too despo I was.
"For what, so that you can line-marofy her"
"Hey come on, you really think I would do that. If it is so, then how did I miss you in that queue."
"Oh please, I was the authority to dismiss you at first. You know there's an old saying "if you want to achieve something with a true heart, you will surely know the way"
"Ok, it was a nice saying, i will find my way".
And I bid goodbye to my friend and started to search.
I finally found her in one of the social websites Facebook. I added her, exchanged numbers and started conversing day-in and day-out.
Well after that day, I used to call her, chat with her and talk with her for hours regularly. She used to tell me- "You are the only one to whom I have shared so much", what a poisonous word to be in touch. But I realised the importance of those words sometime later. She used to tell me her secrets, her ambitions, her history and sometimes she becomes emotional when she talks about her family history. And then, I was in love with her. She had a very cute smile, on seeing that I wasn't flattered but, I liked her and sometimes her cute-little acts too. I used to tease her that I have a girlfriend whenever we used to come online, and she used to ask me who she was and tell her name. But, I just needed the right time to propose her.
Even my friends came to know that I am in love with her and were threatening me for the proposal the next time we talk. I just told them that I would do it...sooner or later.
Life was going good till the day came. It was the date after a long ten months from the actual date of Valentine's Day that I proposed her "online".
"Okay, you really want to know about my girl", was tensed and excited at the same time.
"Dying for it", she became restless now as I had been telling about it for quite few months.
"Ok, its you palak"
"Ok stop fooling around and tell me who is she"
"That is what I just said, its you whom I never thought to be with in the future, its you whom I am hesitant to share few more spaces of my heart in life, it was you and will always be you, I love you but not that I like you"
There was silence and she didn't reply for hours. I was re-looking at my messenger for new messages.
It was later in the late night that she replied, "Don't you dare leave me aside in the night".
I was amused from that night, as if i was living in the dream, my dreams.
She was surprised by the proposal and I knew that she liked me enough to rather reject it. From then, Then after we would talk secretly in night. The one best thing you get when you are in love is the 'late- night chatting', professionally called as the 'Date Night' that you wouldn't get in friendship. And all the lovers find time to finish up their daily usage of their phone to the maximum extent, only after midnight. And all the wild and cute things they share during that time, it's really hard to imagine that. Well, as for me, I went too much far, we started discussing our future plans and also decided the date of our marriage. It was like the perfect planning of life for us.
Since there were happy moments, there were also worst moments during the relationship. We broke up twice, hurting each other at our own risks and never bothered what will be the consequence. On New Year Day, she broke up with me saying that it was just attraction that we teenagers should understand. I didn't hear a single word after she told that. I went to the terrace of my house, looking at the roads and glancing the happy faces on the street. I was firm that I wouldn't shed a tear and when I started, I couldn't control it. Luckily I had my exam the next day, so I switched my mind and tried to forget unless the exam was finished.
I did my exam pretty well and returned home to be online. And she was also there.
"Hey Sweetheart", a man who has done PhD in Humanities and literature would know about the meaning of that word 'DEEPLY'. I was just trying to be normal with her. But no sooner did the time come, that I started to tell the names of those guys with whom she was linked at her school. Got furious that she called me, interrogating in a very serious tone "what the hell is wrong with you".
"What the hell is wrong with me, few months back you said you loved me and yesterday you are like there's nothing between us. Seriously, don't you think I am a clown here."
I blasted her on the phone and couldn't resist my tears unless she apologized me and said "I Love You". Then she told me that her mom bugged her about today's generation and the way kids are being behaved, on that day that she told me in a different manner. Well, this was just the first time. The second time we stopped calling or chatting each other was when I told her that I need a break for my finals. But my mind couldn't stop thinking about her. So we kinda cancelled that pact. I still didn't forget the letters, which I had written to her, it was like writing an essay which I hated at school. I wrote three love-letters and I didn't know that I was romantic enough to have written those. I even started writing poetry...only romantic ones and whenever there was a conference chat, I would be in a mood for 'shayari' and she would just blush at me.
Days passed by and then we had our first date at her house and I was kind of stupid at that time, doing all the irrelevant things which a guy doesn't do on his date. Since it was only us at her house, she became wild, but controlled herself not to do anything wrong. She was always at the door for not letting me leave, and I couldn't resist her sweet and cute smile, which always turned me on. And there we had our first kiss. There was silence, heavy breathing and we couldn't get enough of each other. I took her in my arms and rested her on the couch. She couldn't leave her hand around me and I was sensing that this can wait for a while. Later we stopped for a moment and kissed goodbye to each other to our homes. It was the longest kiss that night.
After the schooling, came the competitive exam period in a student's life. Even she had written few of them with me. Unfortunately, I didn't get merit seat in top colleges and secured to get in the extended merit list that includes universities that provide profession in teaching and research. I wasn't interested in that so I wrote few Private Universities entrances also. Finally I got myself placed in Mahi University, which was located in another state. For the first time, I saw happy tears in my mom's eyes and no son could stand seeing his mom cry.
After several rounds of counselling, i got selected into the chemical field in the college.
I rushed to palak to tell the good news. She was happy and at the same time sad of leaving the state and her for studying.
"Its just 4 years and time will fly like this as if you never really knew".
"I know, I am just gonna miss you and our moments we had back then during your stay at college."
And then I departed to my college. During MU days there, I didn't contact her much as I was busy through the assignments and exams, which made me completely, forget about her. I visit home during the vacations. Then came the day when I met her during our school's Annual Day. She looked really special to me. From the day I proposed her, I was happy forever, never felt lonely and bored. Always there was some excitement when I met her.
"Heya, did you miss me there?"
" Not really, but missed your smile to make mu day look great", I wanted to adore her.
"See that's why you shouldn't leave me and enjoy yourself alone."
Then the same routine life began at college once again. We didn't talk much, had spent less time even online and the distance grew longer between us. After my first year in college, me and my friends had a small farewell for our dear friend Rakesh who was leaving for US along with his dad, at the CCD. At that time she was silent and serious. So I decided to talk to her privately after the farewell. It was like, "she might have had a tough day at college and why do I have to ask her that", sort of questions popping in my head, but sooner or later, I had to know the truth. And it really helped me for my future.
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