Chapter 17: Bent, but not broken
Loki knew where he was. It was his choice to be here, so how could he not? However, he had expected more than…. this.
This. A cold and silent space that could be nothing other than the void, but he had not predicted how being here would feel. The sound of his heartbeat was erased in his ears as he continued to fall, his breathing silenced despite the fact he breathed. It felt like the void was stripping away everything, layer by layer, leaving him numb.
How did he end up here again? Even betraying his expectations, he had chosen this, hadn't he? It was perfect for him.
Perhaps this was the end, Loki realized with a pleased smile as he stared up into the infinitive darkness surrounding him - or at least he thought he was looking up; it was hard to tell. Finally, he had ended it all, and he found himself glad for it. Loki wished to disappear slowly, becoming lost to the void, never to be seen again. And the best part? He would never be able to feel anything again.
Who needed emotions to begin with? They only got in the way. It was a fitting way to die for the silver prince, in the darkness, on his own - as he had been his whole life.
He used to live in the shadows of everyone around him, never seen as more than a failure to the people of Asgard. Not that it mattered, as he wasn't Asgardian to begin with. Anger and betrayal flared inside him, squeezing at his heart so hard that he saw a blue flash before his eyes. He was Loki, son of a monster, brother of no one, king of nothing. He had nowhere to call home, nothing to call his own, no joy left, so he allowed the void to eat away at him.
The darkness was so thick that it consumed everything until only the feeling of falling remained. It slowly devoured him. It swallowed who he was, who he once had been, and who he could have become. When he had decided to let go of Gungnir, he had been prepared to die and had welcomed it with open arms. But since when did anything go as he wanted? Loki wanted to laugh but had no idea if any sound would come of it. Lately, it had been hard even to find the energy to care, so when he finally got his chance to let go, he took it.
What, once again, he did not predict, was that his magic would disagree with him. Loki felt the sinking feeling in his stomach increase; if he had eaten anything, he was sure it would all be coming back up again. When did he last eat? He couldn't remember. However, his magic wanted to keep him alive. Why, he didn't know, but it was condemning him to a circle of pain and disappointment.
How long had he been falling now? Loki had no idea. Was he still falling? Probably - not that he cared - but the sensation was muted as another flash of blue numbed his already mudded mind. Was this death? No, this couldn't be the afterlife because someone was waiting for him there; he knew that and longed to be reunited with them. Deep down in his soul, he knew someone should be there, reaching out for him with a calmness not from this realm and that familiar, mischievous, bubbly laughter.
Yet, there was nothing.
He had failed him yet again.
...
Him?
...
Who had he failed again? Loki tried to remember but drew a blank. It wasn't Thor or his so-called family, that much he could tell. He felt like he had failed, but he couldn't think of who it could be, but he had the feeling that it was someone important. Someone, that he needed the most.
Was this perhaps the sentence that the divine creator had devised? Was this his punishment: forever falling and reaching for something just out of reach until all that was left of him was nothing more than glimpses of life and an empty shell?
A puppet.
A flash of blue filled his eyes yet again before disappearing, leaving his head pounding with phantom pain as he plummeted further and further. His body began to burn from the inside out as he felt fire inside his skull. His soul was screaming in agony, withering as the fire lapped at his core, and his mind simultaneously.
It was in that moment that he lost what little he had left.
Loki shattered like fine glass, breaking underneath too much pressure. Small splinters of glass hung in the air around him like twinkling stars, frozen in a single moment. Then the blue flash was back, reflected in the glass, and the pain hit him, magnified by a billion shards. Unable to do anything else, he screamed.
The light hurt his wide-open eyes as a thousand needles drilled into his brain, and he found that he could not force his body to obey him and close them. He once again felt his feelings slip from his mind, twisting and contorting as his memories were forcefully erased.
Every little soft touch he experienced was now like the hottest of flames licking his skin; the bubbling feeling of happiness and love stabbed at his heart. He screamed - or at least he thought he had, as he was broken down piece by piece, like the shattered glass that pierced his skin, creating blackness on the impact.
His name slipped from his grasp; what was the point of a name anyway? What was the point of it all? As the last drop of his hope was drawn into the darkness all around him, everything changed.
The first blow was so decisive that the air in his lungs was forced out, then the pain exploded, and his mouth opened in a silent scream. Pain burned through his raw nerves like nothing he had ever felt before; blow after blow, his senses were assaulted repeatedly.
When it was not by hard blows to his body, it was being plunged into cold water that stole what little breath he had left. The sensation was freezing his lungs solid and suffocating him from the inside out. Every breath was a battle for the next, and slowly, he found himself losing.
Suddenly, the freezing sensation was switched as he was dunked directly into a roaring inferno of fire that clawed its way into his soul. The fast temperature changes tore his limbs apart with unimaginable pain as the blue flames licked up his skin and his skin burned a brilliant cobalt blue underneath them. He screamed until his throat was bleeding from the pain. He couldn't remember anything other than pain; he had lost all sense of time and his identity.
Did it even matter? Did anything?
…. No…. It didn't.
He only wanted the pain to stop, begging for this torment to end, but he had no energy nor fight left in him. He lay there for a long time, his body completely numb and his mind almost wholly broken, his body waiting for the next sensation of pain, expecting it. Yet, as he stared into the darkness and the golden crack above him, nothing came.
He blinked slowly, he couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. That crack, there was something there he wanted.
He tried to lift his hand, to reach for the light that was so close to him yet so far away. The golden light stretched into his darkness and chased the coldness away, and his body started to tremble as it approached, expecting a scotching heat from the incoming touch.
However, a part of him craved it, and he felt a sob escape his shattered throat as he tried to reach for the light with his hand. He wanted it, needed it, he knew, as his bleeding fingertips reached the golden light, he was there.
The golden light crept inside his hand, past his elbow and up his arm as he felt his heart skip a painful beat.
He couldn't see him, but he could feel the magic pulse beneath his chest, splitting the darkness and acting like a balm to his broken soul as the gold drove the night away.
Then there was a whisper inside of him, foreign words, though all were as he had forgotten what words were. The voice spoke softly; he felt it filling him up, finally allowing him to feel what he had been waiting for.
Safety, and finally the feeling of belonging. This was the death he craved, begged for even. Death was finally welcoming him into its realm.
It was like his body had stopped working. It was as if no part of his body existed beyond this void expanse. Yet, he would swear that a painful whimper left his chapped lips as dead-cold, ghost fingers caressed the greasy strings of his hair. He closed his eyes, letting himself sink into the warmth that soothed his mind as death finally held him in its arms.
Rapidly, the warmth drained away and he started to panic, feeling the numbness creep closer again. He was afraid that he no longer would be able to handle the loss of this light again. He could not lose this. Not again, never again.
He tried to move his heavy limbs to take hold of the light, but his body wouldn't listen; he could not reach it. A sob left his throat, and he tried desperately to claw at the magic; he would not be able to deal with that loss once more.
For what felt like an eternity, but was probably only a second, his efforts were in vain. He was losing hope when he felt the warm fingers reappear on his cheek. He pressed his cold face into the warm hand, sucking in a hungry breath of the warm smell of his light, and he held his breath as the warmth grounded him. The soft scent of wood, warm earth, and something he could not find words for invaded his nose and soothed his screaming soul.
'…Lo'i'
He blinked slowly as the words rolled over his mind; who was his light speaking to?
'Lo…. Loki…...!'
That was… a name? Yes, that was a name, he recognized it, but it didn't hold any meaning to him. He took a deep and painful breath.
'Come back to me.'
He felt the panic well up inside him; who was this, Loki? Who was taking his light away from him? He did not want to let his light go; he was his and no one else. No one could have him. He held the light closer to him, terrified to lose it again.
'I'm sorry,' the light voice surrounded him like sweet bells ringing softly.
He understood the meaning of the words yet didn't understand why his light was apologizing. He bit down on his already tattered lips, tasting the metallic tang of his blood. He would not allow anyone to take his light away! A warm feeling slipped through him yet again, and he felt how the warmth settled itself in his chest, soothing the aching muscle there as it started to beat again.
'Don't worry; no one is taking me away from you, not this time, Loki.'
Says the voice in my head; he grumbled back, not fully believing his light. He felt the fingers scratch his scalp again, making his mind relax. No, he could not let his guard down; there was something he had missed. He did not have all the facts, which made him feel uneasy… why was he uneasy again?
'I'm sorry, Loki, this is all my fault that you are like this.'
Wait, what? That could not be right; his light could do no wrong, and what was with this 'Loki' they spoke of? He sounded like a suspicious person anyway, no one his light should be concerned about.
A snort was heard around him, making his body vibrate in soft waves. 'Always so possessive.'
The sound of his light sight echoed all around him as he melted into the lovely touch, like a touch-starved kitten that wanted nothing more than a good cuddle. He was so tired that he could sleep for an eternity. Death was more welcoming than he thought it would be. He could feel a soft tickle of amusement as that thought left him, only to take a more serious tone.
'Loki, I need you to come back to me,'
'Why?' he thought back. He was fine where he was.
'Because I need your help, would you allow me to help you?'
Why did he need help? He was fine where he was. Thanks, but no, thank you. He wanted to stay where he was a little longer, bathing in his light's soft, warm embrace and nothing else. He didn't want to be separated from his light for even a second, and if he said yes to his light's request, he felt like they would drift away from him. So, no. He didn't want to come back to a world of nothing.
'I know that I'm selfish, Loki, that, after everything I have done to you, I still need you with me in the end. I promise you, Loki, I will make it up to you.'
He hesitated, not answering his light as he felt the nervousness spike in the air around them. He opened his mouth as he tried to find the words, but no sound left his throat.
'Why?' he asked again in his mind; he found it was easier to communicate that way than by speaking.
The light did not answer directly, and he could feel how the light tried to find his own words, yet, when he spoke again, it felt like nothing he had ever felt before.
'Because I know now that one can't exist without the other, and if you don't make it, we will both fade away' his soft voice was suddenly stronger, surer of itself '-and if that is what you want, then I will accept it Loki and I will fade away with you.'
Panic shot through him like an electric shock as his light said that, and he shook his head.
'No! Don't you dare,' he hissed suddenly, as anger filled him?
His Light would not fade away. He sighed in frustration as he felt somewhat cornered by his light's word and then felt himself nod. He would allow his light to help him; if his light needed his help, he would do anything in his power to see that through. But did he need to move? He did not think he could do that as his body still was painfully numb.
'Okay,' His light answered softly. 'The only thing you need is to relax; I will do the rest.'
Ghostly fingers pressed themselves to his temple, and he could feel the warmth underneath them increase, but it was not painful as before.
'Thank you,' His light whispered as he could feel a warm feeling fill him up.
All of a sudden, it felt like he was being dragged through muddy water, towards the air. As he got closer and closer to the surface, he could feel how his body started to move, his hand reached up above his head, and he reached for the light that was slipping through the cloud of darkness, and he finally felt the push he needed to grab it in his hand.
For a second, nothing changed around him, then everything exploded.
. ⬝ : * ¨¨ *: ⬝ . 💓. ⬝ : * ¨¨ *: ⬝ .
Harry opened his eyes with a gasp as he left Loki's core, only to be forced to close them fast as the light was too bright. He grabbed the fabric over his heart and tried to force air into his lungs; it felt like the air was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted.
Heat spread through his chest as he felt tears fall down his throat as he bent his head back. It was as if a void in his heart was quickly filled without warning, and he could finally feel what he had been missing his whole life.
The wall that had blocked Loki's magic and soul had finally begun to break. Harry could feel Loki's magic pulsating under his hand like a second heartbeat as he worked his way up from the magic he had been put under.
The sound of war beyond the broken windows was muffled, and no one noticed them despite several aliens flying past. As the enormous space whale wailing shook the very foundation of the building, Harry stared outside at the battle that still raged on. Harry felt Loki slowly move in his arms as he broke through the memory loop, freeing Loki from his torture.
Because it had been a magic loop that he was put inside with one purpose: to break down Loki, Harry felt something strange in the magic that had leached onto Loki's soul, eating him up. Harry had to shake back the fear from knowing how fricking close he had been to losing Loki and how close he should have been to being entirely erased. He hadn't even known who he was, for merlin's sake!
Harry stared down at the pale male in his lap, almost too afraid to blink - thinking that as soon as he closed his eyes, he would open them again and wake up only to realize that this was yet another crazy memory-dream, not the present nor reality at all. It was so surreal. This was the man he had been seeing in Harald's memories; that was the other part of his soul, the reason for his previous changes.
He let his finger slowly stroke Loki's hair, ignoring how dirty and greasy it was. Contrary to what people believed about the trickster god, Loki had never been evil. Always holding a grudge, yes, and he had an unhealthy joy in luring people in with sweet words only to be teaching them that even the kindest words could cut like a knife. He used to have too much fun with mischief and chaos for his own good.
"Loki?" Harry asked softly as he tried to wake the trickster up. Yet, he got no reaction. He frowned and tried to shake him away, yet the only thing he was doing was making Loki's head flop side to side.
Harry could see how his pale skin stood out against his midnight-black hair, and the dark circles under his eyes gave him a hollow, sunken look. Like he had been starved for decades.
No, Harry gritted his teeth; this was not -his- fault; it was all Harald's doing. How could he not have foreseen this happening? It wasn't called a soulmate for nothing. And Loki…. Loki had been without his other half for an eternity. Of course, his mind and soul would be broken after all this time.
Harry ignored the stabbing feeling all over his skin as he hugged the broken form of Loki closer to him; he would bring Loki back if that were the last thing he would ever do.
Harry swore lowly as another explosion from the outside shook the penthouse windows, and a few broken glass pieces fell with a crashing sound. Something was wrong; Loki should be waking up without any problem now… unless there were something he was missing.
Suddenly, Loki started to scream in his lap, his body convulsing and thrashing like he was being electrocuted. For a second, Loki's eyes were wide open. Pale blue and almost glowing before they closed again, and he slumped down into Harry's arms like a limp doll.
"By the Norns!! What is it now -Loki?" Harry tried to shake him awake, but the pale male did not wake up again. Loki's forehead was crumpled in pain, and his breaths came in puffs instead of their regular tempo.
Harry could feel how his magic tingled; something unknown was pushed against Loki's core—gripping at it, squeezing his magic, and infecting it with something that did not belong there. This, had been the same thing that had tried to break him down.
Harry pressed his hand down on Loki's chest, feeling his labored breaths harshly move his hand up and down. There was something very wrong; Harry released his magic into Loki's chest, ignoring the skip of his heart and letting his power seep into his core as he once remembered Loki had done to Harald. Helping him stabilize his magic, but as Harry did that, he could have sworn that there was a tinge of something otherworldly at the edge of Loki's magic.
Harry bent down as much as he could; the long black hair acted as a curtain around him as he let his forehead rest against Loki's and breathed in slowly. If there was one thing he hated, it was to dive into someone's mind without permission. Harry still had nightmares from the false vision of his godfather that Voldemort had implanted in his mind. They were still there, even though he knew they were fake, lingering inside his mind as clear as the day he got them. Yet, this time, his gut told him he needed to dig deeper as something still had a hold of Loki.
"It's just one problem after the other," Harry grumbled low. "Why can't things ever be easy?" He shook his head and looked down at Loki's pained face.
"I will not let go of you. Do you hear me, Loki? Don't make me a liar again," Harry whispered, not getting any answer, not that he had expected any, as blank eyes stared up at the ceiling.
"I didn't want to do this, so I'm sorry." Harry hesitated only for a second before he whispered the word that he honestly hated, "legilimens."
The floodgate of Loki's mind was immediately cracked open - and without any blocks in his way - something Harry had never known was possible. There was always something that would shield someone's mind. However, Loki didn't have anything; Harry was allowed straight in.
At first, Harry was immediately met by darkness, no memories, no voices, nothing that could direct him to go in the right direction in Loki's mind. Harry felt around; there should be something, because the brain was never silent. As soon as that thought left him, a golden string suddenly became visible in front of him.
The string was a pure golden color, but when he looked closer, he saw a shift to green as it wrapped around in a complex braid. Harry's hand hovered right over the string, too afraid to even touch it because it felt like the string would snap from the smallest misplaced weight. Still, he didn't want to lose it, as he thought this was important.
Slowly, he started to follow the string deeper inside Loki's mind, seeing how the line grew thicker and more complex the further he walked. Harry began to feel more of Loki all around him; the sensation of being bound swept over him, and Loki struggled to wake up, even struggling to take control of his own body.
'Loki?' Harry asked over the now open magical bond, the golden string suddenly brightening up like a pulse for a second before diming down again. No answer came for him.
But, Harry could feel his mate's soul stir underneath his magic whilst it welcomed him deeper into the darkness, like a long-lost friend – one who hadn't betrayed him when he needed him the most and left him lost in a colorless world.
The heavy feeling in Harry's chest grew, and he tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. If he had thought the feeling from before had been wrong in the memory loop, it was nothing compared to this. He felt dirty.
'I know, I…. the… There are no words Loki…' he tried to say as he instantly knew that Harald was the cause of Loki's pain. A part of Loki's soul had died with him, and he had been thrown into chaos. He was the catalyst that pushed Loki to madness. Harry blinked, trying to ignore that voice and the stabbing pain in his mind.
'For what it's worth, I'm sorry.'
There were no changes in the darkness as Harry dove deeper, following the golden threat, trying to feel for Loki before he slipped away from him again. What would he do if Loki never woke up? Harry stopped in his path; what if Loki was forever lost because of hi… -Harald's sacrifices. Did he even have the right to drag Loki back? Harry drew in a hard breath. What if he was already lost? He looked down at the now thin golden thread before him.
'Loki.' Harry began, sighing as the green in the thread pulsed softly before him. 'I can't change the past or what had happened; I don't have that kind of power. What I know is that I will always choose you, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality we stumble upon, I will find you, and I will choose you again and again. I will never stop fighting for you.'
The was a moment of silence before an overwhelming warmth hit Harry right in the chest and the green inside the golden string became thicker and more visible. Harry felt how Loki was so much closer than he had been before.
Harry then looked to his right as a speck of blue invaded his vision, the feeling of need and want emitting from that spot. He reached out, took hold of the blue light without a second thought, and immediately regretted it as a vile feeling welled inside him. Loki's mind suddenly flared up in a turquoise color, driving away the darkness that had been all around Harry.
Harry bit down on his tongue so not to do anything he might regret - like escape from Loki's mind - as the awful feeling filled him up and turned his stomach.
"Well, that was entertaining enough." A dark, rumbling voice vibrated through the space, making blue ripples all around him, and Harry went dead still.
"This is a charming surprise, I must say; when I felt the spell shatter, I didn't expect to find you there, little prince."
A chill went through Harry's body. He knew that voice; he knew it far too well and it sent cold shivers down his spine at the forced memories he had seen from when Harald had died.
It was -him-.
He knew that voice; even if he had never personally met the speaker, he had heard it in Harald's memories. He knew that his aunt had done a lot of mental damage to Loki, but to have the mad titan's physical involvement in Loki's mind control? This situation suddenly went entirely out of bounds on the dangerous scale, because, as far as Harry understood, they were in direct contact with the mad titan's mind, even if it were through the mind stone.
"I can't say the feeling is mutual," Harry answered calmly, not letting a single bit of his inner turmoil leak out. "You should have stayed away from what's mine."
The titan chuckled, "and perhaps you should have stayed dead, something I soon will correct."
Harry could not help but snort, "you are not the first one to say that; I have heard that I'm tough to kill," even more now since he had taken upon the title of master of death.
"Indeed, you are, and yet, can you say the same of your mate?" The titan hummed pleasantly through the connection, "he is now merely a broken vessel, and the only outcome is to put him out of his misery." The soft voice spoke as the vibrant blue color glowed all around Harry, making the golden chain shake and rattle underneath the pressure. "A misery you put him through, mind you, all because you wanted to play the hero."
Harry clenched his teeth, refusing to take the bait and lash out. He tried to find out where exactly the connection point was; there had to be something here. Harry could feel the sick feeling of Thanos coming in waves as he spoke and the menacing blue lit up their surroundings.
"Your aunt was good at backup plans, and Loki would have died the second he was defeated; his mind should have shattered. Yet, to my surprise, he was still connected to the stone, but it is too bad that he is useless to me now."
Harry's eyes widened as he found it. This was no longer a matter of the physical plane; the battle had been set up in their minds, more so Loki's mind, as both Thanos and Harry were only outsiders in his space.
That meant that Thanos was directly connected to Loki at this moment, and Harry could feel the heavy presence of the Titan rattling his soul, suppressing the small soul shard that was still lingering. But at every word spoken, the chain vibrated before Harry.
What would happen if he touched it? Would he mess something up? He had never read anything about threads inside someone's mind. It was usually all about memories and desires. This, this was neither, and if he were not able to still feel Loki, he would think that the god was brain dead. Harry stared at the thread, his hand hovering over it, not daring to grab it.
'Do it'
Harry held back a gasp as he heard Loki's voice and looked around, it had only been a faint whisper, but it was undoubtedly him. He breathed out; if Loki said it was alright, he was not going to question it - not right now. So, he took hold of the golden chain that stilled underneath his hand. Suddenly, Harry could feel how his magic started to pour into the golden chain like it was a dry sponge. As his magic was drained, he could feel Loki's presence becoming clearer inside his mind.
"Well, would you look at that." The titan's voice sounded impressed for a second that the chain was still intact and that Loki started to stir around them. Lighting up his mind space as he did. Thanos chuckled as the blue around Harry vibrated. The cold, sick feeling ebbed out of the connection, and Harry had to hold back his disgust as he felt its familiarity pulse inside his magic.
"Don't you dare!" Harry bit back, angry, tugging on the magic that lit up, protecting Loki from the blue that wanted to claim the thread.
'Light?' Loki suddenly was beside Harry and blinked in bewilderment as his body flickered through different clothes and armor as memories started to leak out. Harry could not help to grin at the dark-haired god.
Harry felt he gained new resolve as his mate came to life beside him. 'Nice of you to come around, Loki.'
Loki blinked; the images flashed across his mind before he abruptly shut off his thought as he still was semi-connected to Thanos, but not before Harry had caught on to the gist of his thinking. It had been a flash, an annoying feeling of being forced to stay connected to the titan, yet the connection to Thanos made Harry pause.
But, it… could… not be that easy. Or could it? Harry stared at Loki like he could not make up his mind. But what had crossed Loki's mind made sense to the wizard. The now green-eyed god stared emptily at him—not letting his mind betray him for even a second.
Harry knew that mind-magic was considerably risky: you had to have a strong will and a focused mind as you could easily get lost in a mind space or damage the other person if you overwhelmed them.
Destroying the other's mind was exactly what Thanos and his aunt had tried to do as they put Loki in a memory loop to shatter his soul. Harry's gaze again dawned on the blue connection; he was going to do it.
Loki had started to wake up more and more as Harry strengthened him, and then he felt what his mate was thinking. 'Don't'
Harry looked up at him and raised an eyebrow as Loki's eyes now stared back at him intensely.
'Why not? It could work,' Harry said.
'Are you crazy? There is no way it would work,' Loki protested.
'Yet you knew exactly what I was thinking moments after waking up.'
Loki glared at him. 'Not like you gave me any choice, my little light, and I'd take that back; you are definitely crazy, no question there,' he huffed out.
'Well, I have to be crazy to be your soulmate, right?' Harry grinned, finding a little amusement in this whole situation as Loki's eyes softened at the words.
'That is unfortunately correct,' Loki sighed.
They both could now feel how confused the Titan was over their exclusive conversation. But there was also something else that both Harry and Loki had now noticed: the Titan was not entirely focused on them. It was like there was something else drawing his attention outside their minds.
'Let's try it; it can work,' Harry said, holding a hand to Loki's still flickering image, 'if we do it together.'
Loki hesitated as he stared at the man before him, not believing that this was real, that his beloved Harald was there with him - or perhaps he was, and Loki had finally died too. Either way, it was the Mind stone that they were up against, and the Mind stone allowed the user some room to manipulate the mind as long it stayed connected to it.
So, for Thanos to have control over him, he had to stay connected to the mind stone. If Harald was right, they could force this connection to burn out Thanos instead. It was an insane and crazy idea, it had little to no chance of working, and they would risk burning themselves out of existence if they failed.
Loki was silent as he took it all in and shrugged; what did they have to lose? He had beaten the worst odds before, so why not now. His light was right there, grounding him, making him feel like he could do anything. Without a word, he let go of everything and let his whole soul flood inside Harry, who stared down at his chest where the golden-green thread had latched inside his core.
'Huh, that's new.'
'Well, what did you think would happen?' Loki stared, unimpressed at him, and Harry shrugged
'Something flashier?'
Loki snorted, unamused.
"What are you two planning?" Thanos suddenly asked; he couldn't keep up with what the two energies did with the mind stone. However, whatever they were planning would fail, and Thanos had a more pressing matter to deal with as a little irritating insect had had the nerve to send an external attack at his scout fleet right now. He did not have the time to play with broken gods.
'Let's do it,' Loki said as his mind flared up as Thanos' blue thread started to separate from theirs.
With a reflex earned from years of playing seeker, Harry breathed out and snatched the blue thread out of the air before it was entirely detached from Loki's mind. Harry nearly reeled back in disgust at what he felt deep down in the glowing blue, a color that was now tainting everything he held dear. It was an arduous process, dangerous when done by an amateur, but Harry had studied mind magic and he knew how to protect himself.
They could feel the Titan's surprise by their action and how their connection suddenly changed direction from the mind stone to Thanos himself.
Harry gasped in horror when his senses suddenly were overwhelmed by Thanos; he could feel the soul parts that belong to Harald shake. He had never experienced this type of agony before, and his whole mind was screaming in alarm. He could feel every atom of his body almost vibrating as the menacing magic sent shivers down his back, and suddenly something happened.
Loki's forest-green eyes were right in front of him. Harry blinked slowly, something that took a lot of energy as he felt cold hands holding his face in place. The stormy chaos inside his mind calmed until nothing was left but an eerie calm in his soul.
'Focus, don't lose yourself,' Loki warned as he let go of Harry's face.
Magic tingled all around them as the connection was still strong, the mind stone humming as it tried to do whatever its master wanted, whoever that was.
'Thanks,' Harry breathed out before he commanded his body to continue, forget the small part that was Harald's fear; they had to do this. It was probably their only chance.
Their magic flooded the blue thread and was sent speeding down the connection in lightning speed that surfaced both reality and realms. They surged forward in one last combined attack as they found the orb that was Thanos' core and began purging over a thousand years' worth of memories and energy from them and the sceptre. By the time they felt Thanos stir and try to fight back, it was already too late.
"NO-O!" Thanos screamed as he understood too late what happened as the magic collided with his center. For a second, nothing happened as the rainbow-colored sphere swallowed the golden green light like a sponge.
Then the sphere started to crack, and warm, gold light broke through the cracks, expanding it and making the orb vibrate. Thanos gasped as he felt the attack to his core; he stared at the screen in front of him and saw his wormhole and the earth behind it. Inside the giant hole, he could see a black dot descend as the reality stone stopped working. How could it have ended like this? How could he lose to a cheap trick like this?
Yet, he felt how these minor gods' magic had penetrated the last of his defenses, and in only a second, Thanos' mind exploded in on itself. He started to fall into oblivion as the last thing he could see was the port wormhole closing right before his eyes, and a chain reaction of the explosion went through the ship.
The green and golden thread snapped as the last of their energy was purged inside, and they took a step back before it all would explode. It was rendering its owner without a mind of its own as both Loki and Harry slowly faded from the connection and into the real world once again.
Honestly, Harry felt so done with everything as he opened his eyes; there was this strange taste in the back of his throat as he squeezed his eyes shut as the light was too bright. He could feel Loki stir in his lap, but he did not dare to do anything as he felt his mind spin around without moving a muscle. He had to force his lungs to remember to breathe as the sensation overwhelmed him.
The power of the mind stone still hummed in the back of his mind as the connection slowly started to fade from the…Loki's magic as Thanos' grip on him slowly began to disappear.
At first, it was like nothing had happened, then Harry started to feel something flowing through the bond that connected his soul to Loki. He felt a little dizzy as the magic swelled underneath his skin but shook it off. He could not believe that they had done it. It had been a wild, crazy idea that could have easily cost them their lives.
Harry took a few calming breaths before slowly peeling his eyes open, blinking to adjust them to the bright light outside and then looking down at the man in his lap. Silent tears were streaming down Loki's pale cheeks as he stared up at Harry with unseeing and empty eyes, and as Harry took in the god's appearance, he saw how the pulse in Loki's throat was beating wildly yet no breath left his body.
"Come on, Loki, breathe." Harry said softly as he started to move his stiff fingers and took a deep breath himself to make Loki follow.
Loki drew in a deep breath with such intensity that Harry thought, for a second, that he was having a seizure. He drew in another sharp breath, and then soft gasps left his throat as he stared at Harry, still with a cloudy expression. Loki's eyes slowly shifted to their usual green color, and tears leaked from them. Confusion blended in together with bewilderment as the seconds ticked by.
"It is you," Loki choked on his voice as he found himself unable to believe what he was seeing.
Happiness.
Regret.
Sorrow.
Harry felt it all and wrapped his arms around Loki as he shook like a leaf in the wind. Closing his eyes again, Harry weakly whispered, "breathe Loki, we did it, so there's no way that you can give up now. He's gone; you felt it as well as I did, did you not?"
A euphoric flood of emotion washed over him as he said those words; it was like Loki had overwhelmed his senses and had difficulty controlling any emotions that were now leaking through the bond. But there was still this feeling of being whole again like his broken soul finally had been mended.
Loki's entire body was trembling, his magic fluctuated wildly and lashed out violently as his mind was bombarded with all the emotions and memories he had been forced to forget. With every feeling of loss, hurt, and despair, he ever had felt after losing Harald. His arms gripped Harry's arms desperately, nails digging into the soft skin as he suppressed a scream that wanted to tear its way out of his throat.
Everything outside became deathly quiet, and no explosions could be heard, no shots or screams of war sounded out; there was only an eerie silence.
Harry could feel Loki's magic caressing his own before a hand lightly squeezed his own, and he looked down at Loki, who now had stilled in his arms. Tired, red-rimmed eyes blinked at him with a hint of gold in the iris.
"I know it's you," Loki muttered as he frowned slightly, "but it can't be, it's impossible; you died; I felt it."
Harry opened his mouth, about to say that he had died - or Harald had - but he suddenly hesitated. There were no words to explain how sorry he was for putting him through everything that …Harald had caused… But he was no longer Harald, and he didn't know if Loki would accept that?
There were so many questions and no answers, and perhaps the biggest one was what had happened after his disappearance – after the Mad titan had been put in Harald's cage. But was Harry Harald, or was he merely an imposter of his loved one? Harry didn't feel like the man in his memories. He felt like the lost little boy that learned that magic was real from a half-giant, a boy who, for his whole life, had been fighting a war and knew nothing else but that.
Nope, no way he was going to follow that train of thought right now, not when his brain felt like it was about to blow up from the intense headache slowly building up between his eyes.
"Yes," Harry answered honestly. "Harald died."
The heavy feelings that weighed down his chest at those words were genuine enough, and he tried to ignore the numb feeling that crept over his body. He could feel the emotional storm inside his chest and it made his head whirl.
Loki stared up at him without saying anything, only swiping through his memories and trying to decide what was a dream and what was reality.
"You are…. not Harald. Yet you are him."
Harry dry swallowed; why was he afraid to answer him with the truth? "Yes- no… well- It's complicated."
No more words left Loki's chapped lips as he stiffened, clenching his teeth, and Harry felt how a block was put up between them, and tried to hold back a wince.
Loki pushed himself up with a groan and swatted Harry's hand away from him, "don't," he growled, before calming down slightly with a deep, controlled breath. "Please, don't touch me right now; I need to… think." Loki's mind was silent for the first time in a long while, and he could finally think, but all his memories were scattered and out of order.
He could remember glimpses of what had happened whilst he had been under the mind stone's control. It had been him, yet not. Loki stared at the man in front of him. His magic screamed at him that this was his mate, his little love that so cruelly had been ripped away from him - from his soul.
He could not detect any lies in his words. So, he was not lying. Loki had no idea what was worse, that Harald's reincarnation was standing right there in front of him or that he had hurt him. His eyes glanced at the dried blood on Harry's arm before looking away.
"How is this even possible?"
Harry looked over at him, letting him have his space but still staying close enough to help if it was needed.
"Honestly, I have no idea, you have to ask the Norns about that one, but a few months ago, I came into my…. inheritance, and with it, a shit load of memories hit me, and I started to remember everything..."
"-Yeah, no…." Loki snorted, but soon regretted it as pain thronged all over, and held up a hand to stop Harry. "I don't think I'm ready for that headache right now."
"Loki…"
"-No, please…Haral—" he hesitated, not wanting to say the name as it hurt too much.
"Harry."
"-Harry," Loki averted his eyes, "let me collect my thoughts, I…I know what my magic and soul are telling me, and I know who you are," he took a deep breath, "just let me collect myself."
Harry nodded and took his hand back. A tickling feeling alerted him to incoming souls as he turned to the still-working elevator. He felt his whole body stiffen as they came closer, glancing at Loki.
"We have company."
A soft ding was heard before the doors opened, and out walked the strangest group of muggles Harry had ever seen – which said something, considering how many odd things he had seen. Harry took a step forward so that he was in front of Loki, standing defensively.
Harry once again felt like this was the work of his 'Potter luck' (maybe he should trademark it). As always with him, following Murphy's Law, if something could go wrong, it would.
The muggles' weapons were aimed at them as the elevator doors closed behind the small crowd that Harry had seen fighting the aliens outside. He sighed. This wasn't the best outcome, but it could have been worse. They could have shot first, and waited until later to ask questions.
Thank the Norns for small mercies.
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