Chapter 5: Chapter 5. Rebirth.
[Snape Residence ]
I returned home, ready to clean the mess, waiting for the summon from the Ministry.
On entering the house, the weight of grief threatened to overflow, its torrential force threatening to engulf me in an abyss from which I feared I would never emerge.
"No, I have to hold it in. She will be back. She will …I won't grieve for her, I will wait for her. I will..wait."
I was confident in being able to keep my seat in Hogwarts despite using magic due to my parentage and Lucius, in all his calculated machinations, would not allow his prized pawn to be pried from the esteemed halls of the school.
With this assurance in mind, I set about using magic to repair the damage inflicted upon my surroundings, eradicating every trace of the grisly events that had unfolded.
Incantations flowed from my lips, mending the broken furniture and banishing the ominous stains from the walls and floors.
I cast a spell on myself to remove all the blood on my body, yet no matter how hard I tried, my blood-stained hands never seem to lose their crimson color.
I tried, again and again, and again, yet the crimson shade of that scum's blood never washed.
"No, this can't be happening. What I did was right. That Scum needed to die. It was justice."
But no, it wasn't his blood that stained my hands. It was my mother's blood—a life I failed to save.
My mind couldn't hold on any longer from the exhaustion and heartache. Morpheus put a spell on me,l pulling me into his nightmarish sleep.
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*Next day*
Waking up on a cold floor didn't do my exhausted body any favor. I checked the windows, mailbox, and front door for any summons from the Ministry. Yet I found no letter or an owl.
Why though, I used plenty of magic, though it was not performed in front of muggles, I should at least get a warning letter.
Confused by Ministry negligence or my luck, I served the house, only for it to make each step gut-wrenching and aching.
"I can't hold on any longer. The more I stay here, the more I remember her."
It is time for Severus Snape to disappear as well.
Trying my hardest to block away any emotion I felt, I stepped into the cramped confines of my room, scarcely larger than an attic, where a worn-out bed and a solitary cupboard were my only companions.
Within the meager confines of the cupboard lay a few articles of clothing, their tattered appearance bearing witness to the circumstances of my existence.
Among them were two pairs of second-hand robes, my meager attire for my time at Hogwarts.
With a determined resolve, I gathered all of my garments, including my torn Hogwarts robes, and committed them to the embrace of the flames.
The crackling fire consumed them, erasing any trace of my former life. Only the remnants of my school materials remained treasured possessions that had once been given to me by my mother.
Casting a lingering glance at the room that had been my sanctuary, I closed the door behind me, sealing it shut forever. It was time to move forward, to leave behind the remnants of a life that was no longer mine to claim.
As I ventured into my mother's room, I discovered the remnants of her and my father's attire. They, too, were destined to be consumed by the fiery inferno.
Amidst the charred remains, I came across my mother's Hogwarts trunk—the sole relic she had brought with her from the wizarding world when she fled her family.
Opening the trunk, a cascade of memories encapsulated in faded photographs, snapshots frozen in time greeted me.
Among them were images of my mother and me, captured during the tender years of my childhood. I remembered her soft voice telling me stories of Hogwarts and magic when I was four.d.
In those early days, her smile had been more abundant, a beacon of warmth and affection.
However, as I grew older, I came to understand that her smiles were reserved solely for my sake, a fragile façade she maintained for the sake of my happiness.
Amidst the photos, I found letters addressed to my name. Consumed by curiosity, I unraveled the knot holding the letters together.
The first letter was dating to the start of my sixth year. I unfold the letter, ready to learn the unspoken words of my mother.
"My dearest Sev," she hasn't spoken to me in such a gentle manner in a long and she never wrote a letter after the second year as I stop writing her.
" My dearest Sev,
I am sorry I never wrote you again after your second year at Hogwarts. It was hard to write when you never replied, it was clear to me that you hated me.--" NOOO, I never hated, it was..it was.. Just I had to hide my origin, I just didn't want trouble more than I already was in Slytherin.
I am sorry. I am sorry. All the emotions I held spilled out in tears that wet the parchment. I could no longer.
"Please don't feel bad. You have the right to hate me, I was….No I am a bad mother. I had brought into this world and couldn't protect you from its vicious fang. I am sorry. I don't know how to make up for the things..no the abuse you suffered. I don't know. I will try. I promise. Let's leave my apologies for later. This whole summer, you bottle up yourself in your room, refusing to speak with any. Yet I know you were hurt, more than you ever were. I want to hug, smooth you as cried your pain like you did when you were a child. I don't how to connect with you now, you seem so distant. I knew the reason for your pain, so I went to meet Evans"
She..She met with Evans's family. She never tried to connect with them despite my prolonged stay with them and the schooling they provided me.
"I know what your thinking, yes, I went to meet them. All these years, you seemed happy with them, they provided you with food, shelter, education, and most importantly, a safe environment which I never could. I stayed away from them, not willing to stain your happiness with them, I looked at you from far away, moving through life. Each day…I wished you were born to them so you would have lived to your fullest potential not dragged down by baggage like me" You…you weren't baggage, you were the most important to me.
It seemed as if she stood beside me, running her hand through my hair, speaking in her smoothing voice. Looking over at me, easing my aching heart.
"Mrs. Evans explained what happened, and how their daughter too locked herself in her room the whole summer. Severus, I know you have seen to worst sides of both worlds, but you have also seen the brighter ones too. If the Tobias is the worst from the muggle's side then the Evans's were the brighter, if you have seen the ugliness of pure blood families then you must have seen those fight to protect the weaker in them too. All I want to say is, never give in to the hate. You shouldn't hold a prejudice against the muggles for the choices I made."
It was a mistake, I was angry and humiliated, I took it on the one person who cared for me. She too wasn't innocent in this.
"Don't join anything that might put your future in danger. You don't belong to those grandiose schemes of pure blood purists nor do you belong to those who fight them. Just forge your own path. I end this letter with this, those who follow will never be remembered for their greatness but for their subordination. I remember when you were four years old you wished to be like Merlin, the greatest wizard of all time. I have faith in my son, if you wish, you could be as grand as the great Merlin or even greater. You were always special, not just because you were my son, no, I say this because you were born superior to others in the magical department. I have seen it, I know. I wish you focused just on that."
I will, Mother if that is what you wished I will be the greatest wizard ever lived.
"Forgive me. I forgot when to stop. Since this was the first letter in four years, I got excited. I wish I was able to speak to you the way I write this letter. Finally, just make up that Evans girl, her mother seems so distraught for her daughter and angry at you for cutting connect with them. They love you, Sev. They are waiting for you. It was Mrs. Evans who gave me the courage to write this letter and—"
Where? Where is the end? Where is it?
I frantically search for more in the other letter but they were the same letter. Each time she would stop and give up at the end.
I fell to the ground, tears running down my face, wetting all the letters in my hand. Each tear carried the sorrow that ate me from inside.
"If I was just a good son, If only."
Of all her letters, only her last letter was different and the smallest one.
"My dearest Sev,
I have very good news for us. We will finally be able to escape from the clutches of your father. My parents, your grandparents, are finally dead, leaving behind a fortune. It seems in their arrogance they never wrote me out of their family tree. I am the only daughter of the Prince Family so all the fortune accumulated for generations would be yours. You can finally do whatever you want, no longer tied to your father for his financial backing. I will file for divorce from your father. We will… we will finally be free. I will try to make up for all my sins, I vow. You can…you can do anything you want. This Christmas, we will celebrate in a mansion.
I already talked to a person from Ministry who came to pass down the documents about Prince's family seat in the Ministry. You can even practice magic in this house, now that I am head of the family.
I can't wait to take you away from here.
Love you,
Your mother."
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
We were this close to leaving this hell hole.
"WHY?"
"WHY?"
"WHY?"
"WHY?"
"WHY?"
"WHY?"
"Why take her away from me? Why now? When….We could left. She would be still alive. WHY?!"
"Is this my divine punishment? But what sin have I committed."
"Answer me..ANSWER ME!"
"Answer..me, damn it."
All I felt was grief, the thought of ending myself crossed my mind but I promised her, promised her that I would be Known by her name, that I would be the greatest wizard ever known.
—
I don't when but I fell unconscious with the letter in my hands. Seeing the letters, spiraled the pain but I have to go, I can't stay here.
Burying the pain, I resumed the previous task. After rummaging through the contents of my mother's trunk, my eyes fell upon the object of my search—the enchanted pouch.
Its emptiness confirmed my suspicions. It seemed that my mother had carried only the essential items with her, including the textbook she had lovingly passed down to me, her wand, and this very pouch.
Her wand felt oddly familiar, it was like my mother was looking over me. I pocketed the wand.
With a determined resolve, I carefully placed each of my cherished books into the magical receptacle. These tomes held the key to my education, filled with countless potions and incantations I created, each iteration captured within their pages. They were too precious to risk losing.
As I gathered the remaining photographs, precious memories frozen in time, I could feel a bittersweet ache in my heart.
With a mixture of sorrow and longing, I released them into the depths of the pouch, hoping to preserve their significance.
The sun had long since risen, casting its warm glow upon the world outside.
Hoping for my mother's spirit, I whispered for her blessing,
"From this day I will be known by Severus Eileen Prince."
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