Chapter 37: My Psychiatrist
Soak in warm water; it felt like it was replenishing the moisture lost from my body.
"Phew… … ♡"
Lye seemed to be in good spirits as well.
"Did you feel good too?"
Lye wrapped her arms around my neck and clung to me. Fortunately, my dick was on cooldown and was flaccid.
"It felt good."
That went without saying.
But it wasn't all that good.
After ejaculating, I felt a sense of guilt.
I felt guilty that I ended up touching Lye.
It felt like my innocent younger sister had been deceived and tainted.
If her fans find out, they'll probably try to kill me.
"Brother, From now on, give me a kiss every time I hug you."
"That."
"No excuses, you kissed me and stole my first kiss without asking, so it's penalty."
As a punishment for kissing her, do I have to kiss her daily in the future?
It's my fault for stealing her first kiss without asking, but she also wanted it.
I had no choice but to nod at the punishment (reward, I think?) that Lye brought up.
"Brother, should we go on a date next time?"
Lye said as she was leaning against my chest.
"Date?"
"Yeah, eat delicious food and watch movies. I'll pick out your clothes too."
"Hmm… I kinda... …"
"Why? You and I have never gone out together. Right? So let's go or you don't want to go out with me?"
"No, it's not like that."
"Then, shall we go?"
The eyes sparkling with anticipation are dazzling.
To be honest, I didn't want to go.
I'm awkward in crowded places, and I can't even converse properly with people I don't know.
If I were to have a seizure, it would also be a nuisance to Lye, who was with me.
Besides, since Lye is a celebrity, there will be people who will recognize her and talk to her.
No matter how much I thought about it, all I could think was that something bad was going to happen.
"If I wear a hat, glasses, and a mask, no one will recognize me. So let's go, okay?"
"No, but…"
She clearly knew what I was worried about.
It may be necessary for me to adapt to society in the future.
However, it was difficult to make an easy decision when I thought that it might cause harm to Lye.
"I'll have a holiday next week, so come with me then. Understand? It's a promise."
"Okay. I'll think about it."
However, seeing the Lye with such anticipation and eyes, I couldn't say no.
"Really! If I you had say you won't go on date, I would be too upset with you."
"I said I'll think about it."
Lye ignored that and smiled brightly as if she was satisfied with my answer, and it meant I was going with her.
A date with her... Please, nothing should happen.
I sighed deeply to shake off the overwhelming anxiety.
***
Today is the day I receive psychiatric treatment once every two weeks.
In fact, although it is grandly said to be psychiatric care, it is not doing anything special.
I simply receive counseling and am prescribed medication based on my mental state.
When I was young, I was always given strong drugs.
However, after I became a middle school student, I started to stabilize little by little, and after I became a college student, I almost stopped taking medication.
Medicine is a double-edged sword.
It puts the mind at ease, but at the same time, it makes people helpless.
When I take medicine, I often spend my days in a daze without thinking about anything.
So, if possible, I don't want to take medicine.
Even if I'm alive, I have to live as if I'm dead, that's kind of feeling medicine give me.
"So there are no problems at university?"
"Yes, I'm doing well."
"Okay. Have you made any friends?"
"No… A person who can be called a friend..."
"There is no need to rush. Because now it's important to get used to being around people. As you get better, friends will come naturally even if you don't like them."
Dr. Soraya, a neuropsychiatrist.
This is the person who has been in charge of me since middle school.
And every time I receive counseling, she says a lot of things that fill me with confidence.
It is said that some mentally ill people see their symptoms worsen when they see an unqualified doctor.
However, my doctor played a huge role in helping me improve to where I am now.
She listens to even insignificant stories and responds to consultation seriously.
For me, she was the only counselor with whom I could tell things I couldn't even tell my family.
"Dr. Sora, I… … ."
"Hum? Is there something you want to talk?"
Dr. Sora looked at my attitude and sensed that something important was coming up.
In fact, I was hesitating until this very moment.
Should I tell it or keep it a secret?
If I can't tell Dr. Sora now, I can't tell anyone.
And if I keep groaning inside, I might explode.
Before that could happen, I had to get help from someone.
"Dr. Sora Can you keep this a secret?"
"Of course, I promise that everything you say from now on will be kept absolutely confidential."
Soraya, famous as a beautiful psychiatrist, often appears on TV and writes many columns in newspapers and magazines.
If I had not asked to keep it a secret, I didn't know where or how the story would leak out.
"In fact…."
But when I tried to talk about it, I was completely speechless.Where should I start, and how far should I talk?
No matter how good Dr. Sora is, how can a secret be properly kept?
I wonder if I might harm my family by saying something for no reason.
As I hesitated again, Dr. Sora placed her hand on the back of my hand.
I felt blood returning to my cold hands.
"Rye, Anything is okay, so talk about it. If you have concerns, just talking to someone can help."
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