Chapter 34: Clearly, I Need More Exploits (7.4)
…
"Hmmm, a lot of people are staring at us!" Tiona Hiryute, my bodyguard for the last few weeks, was as airheaded as always. Of course they're staring at us! You're barely as tall as Cranel and obviously young! Do you know how many people would get the wrong idea about some masked individual leading around a skimpily-dressed Amazon!? It didn't help that even as my bodyguard, the short-haired Amazon was going from place to place and gushing over various magical odds and ends. "You're unexpectedly popular around these parts, Hat-kun!"
"Oi, stop causing a scene." Using the slapstick-comedy patented 'Head-Chop' maneuver in hopes of managing Hiryute's cheerfulness and energy, I did my best to mitigate any damage to my reputation. Months of appearing as a mysterious, masked buyer of magical artifacts and tomes are going down the drain thanks to a single Amazon! Laws of Comedy, I invoke you! Stop this airhead from ruining my entire reputation! Thankfully, I must have invoked the Rites of Slapstick correctly and the short-haired Amazon dropped a sinister-looking helmet with a pout. "C'mon, Hiryute, it's best we don't keep Alf waiting."
"Ooooh~ Is Hat-kun worried about looking bad to Riveria-sama?" Hiryute gave off a squeal of delight, forgoing her 'pout and hold head' maneuver in favor of latching onto my hand with curiosity alight in her eyes. That's a dangerous move, you know!? People are definitely going to get the wrong idea! Don't get so touchy-feely with your Hiryutes! A guy would most definitely get the wrong idea! "So you don't want to be late in meeting her, showing that you care for her, despite the fact you say you don't like being around her!?"
"Wrong." I invoked the Rite of Slapstick comedy once more, managing to get Hiryute off my arm without consequence. For added comedic effect, I stretched out the word a bit while remaining perfectly deadpan. I can only imagine that Zaimokuza wanted to put some comedy into his chapters after mercilessly killing half of an entire Familia. Though I doubted I was getting any screen time, since Cranel was currently spending time with Arde learning their new limits thanks to another Update, maybe this could be some sort of spin-off series or additional content? I can imagine Zaimokuza doing something sleazy like that just for extra sales. "Your Oujo-chan would never let me hear the end of it if I wasn't on time for a meeting that I made myself. There's no way in hell I'm letting her have such ammunition to use against me."
"Mou, you're too mean, Hat-kun! You need to treat girls nicely, you know! " Hiryute squirmed, holding her head and shaking to and fro, as we continued walking. Thankfully, the short-haired Amazon could continue playing her game as we walked. The pout that she sported was exaggerated, as were her movements, making it clear that she was playing around. Still, given her state of dress and culture, it was… dangerous instead of comedic. You're treading a dangerous line here, Zaimokuza, even if she is as old as Cranel! Peeking from beneath her bangs, held beneath her hands, an unexpectedly sly smile formed on her face. "They'll only be willing to be nice back if you're nice too, Hat-kun~. You should buy the girl of your dreams lots and lots of gifts!"
"Are you telling me that all there is to getting a nice girl is to be nice to them and buying them things?" Though I was caught off guard by Hiryute's sudden bout of craftiness, I simply fell back onto my comedic defense. Haha! I have defenses against clever girls, now! While I'd never say it's impossible for me to be flustered, since I once believed it was impossible to travel to different worlds, I am at least resistant against their wiles! "I don't know whether to be amused or disappointed at those words."
"Of course! Girls love gifts, but you have to be mindful of what you give them, Hat-kun. However, you need to remember something important when you do give them gifts…" Hiryute's smirk was among the most devious of which I'd ever seen. The short-haired amazon tugged at my sleeve and I found myself incapable of resisting her superior strength. I felt her breath against the side of my face as she dragged in a breath for a whisper. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and I felt keenly aware of the fact that there were quite a few people in the same street as the two of us. Oi, oi, oi! What the hell is with this sudden development?! "A lot of girls love little keepsakes more than jewelry, Hat-kun~. So remember to start small, but never forget to work your way up~."
"…I'm not hearing anything that goes against my previous statement." For once, I was grateful for how one-sided my mind was. Had I still been but a mere mortal, I was sure that I would've been left tongue-tied and stuttering. Oddly enough, I had a feeling that particular reaction would've been merciful in comparison to the one I incited. As I simply shrugged her off, huffed, and started walking ahead, I noticed that she was practically beaming. My weathering Hiryute's high-strength teasing skill side seems to have made the girl very happy. Jeez, this girl was starting to remind me of a combination between a certain college-goer and my underclassman. A dangerous combination. "I'll be sure to stock up on stylish knickknacks and other fashionable trinkets the next time I see them on sale, then."
"Oh no, I've created an insatiable monster!" Hiryute gave a little, jubilant cry before once more taking to my side. I relaxed once I noticed that the short-haired Amazon was content to simply stroll along with her hands clasped against the small of her back. Once again, Hiryute-san, I need to ask you to tone down your personality before a guy gets the wrong idea. "Hat-kun! You must use the advice I gave you wisely! It is a power you must never misuse!"
"Seriously, you're not even going to try and deny that my plan would work?" I found myself drawn into the little byplay that Hiryute generated. It was probably because I was lowering my guard once I realized that the 'danger' had passed and she was once more all jokes and cheers. "Isn't that a bit sad, Hiryute?"
Hiryute stuck out her tongue before pressing a finger against her lips. The short-haired Amazon simply began to hum. I guess that was the end of the little byplay that just occurred. At the very least, I couldn't say that it hadn't been entertaining to partake in, given it was both new and a reminder of my previous life. While someone foolish would make the mistake of assuming that Hiryute was interested in me. I had plenty of experience with sly, adorable girls who didn't have any interest in me.
By all means, there was no way in hell that was any sort of a flag.
…
Witch's Secret House was, as the name suggested, a place that wasn't easily found. Most high-end magic stores were in Babel, but plenty were scattered around Orario itself. Given the fact that Magic items, from simple staffs all the way to Grimoires, ran for stupidly high sums of Valis it was understandable that most shop-owners wouldn't risk having their very, very expensive wares stolen by thieves in the middle of the night or outright forced to hand them over. The threat of being blacklisted by all the Merchants in the city, or being hit by a Familia who wanted favors from the Merchants, really didn't help when a dozen hundred-million-Valis Grimoires were all stolen.
So, shops that carried High-End Magic Items were only outside of Babel if two requirements were met. They either were part of a larger, more powerful Familia, or the shopkeeper in question is ludicrously strong and it would be completely, utterly stupid to face them in their own territory. The Witch's Secret House was the latter with its proprietor being Lenoa, a human witch who's practically as old as Orario itself. To be her age, she had to be at least Level 5, but I personally believed she was Level 6. Anyone who went through the trouble of looking for her would know that she's one of the deadliest adventurers in Orario, and if that person in question still intended to steal from her after investigating… well, they're free game.
"Nice coat, Hikigaya." The wizened crone croaked a greeting as I entered the dark, messy shop. One gnarled hand stirred and stirred a pot of viscous, blue liquid as another hefted a book wider than Arde. Despite her age, sharp and dangerous eyes looked from beneath the brim of her tall, pointed hat. Old, dangerous, and a mean haggler. Needless to say, I liked her. "That Adolescent Dragon must've been surprised to find someone as tenacious as a cockroach as its target."
"As wise and as composed as always, Lenoa. Your words simply drip with wisdom." I gave my own greeting in return, raising a hand to both wave and take off my hat. The other one had the important duty of holding back Hiryute before she ate a million-Valis reagent or something. While I did the latter for the sake of my wallet, the former was simply proper manners. Pissing off someone as well-connected and powerful as Lenoa wasn't something I wanted to do. "Where's Alf and Viridis?"
"Looking over the staves you requested." Lenoa gave a throaty chuckle, the hand holding the ladle gesturing past a door hidden behind a curtain. I gave the ancient witch a nod before moving forward and depositing the second half of the payment on her table along with a little… extra. The slightest of grins came upon the elderly woman's face. She paused in her stirring and weighed the second bag with a faint smirk. Faster than I could see, she switched it out and threw a slim notebook my way. Heh, jackpot. "The minute I hear you spreading around my advice is the day I'll string you up, Hikigaya!"
"As if I'd be stupid enough to cross you, Lenoa." I stuffed the slim book into the folds of my coat. Ten million Valis for a 'guide' would've been an idiotic purchase for anyone else, but I knew better than to look down on the knowledge of someone like Lenoa. There's a reason why the oldest warrior is the most dangerous one to face, after all. For someone like me, who emphasized magic, a fifty-page, sleek notebook full of advice from the wizened, old mage was worth a small fortune. "I'm just a regular idiot, not an exceptional one."
"Indeed, that selfishness and self-awareness of yours might even make sure you're long-lived idiot." Lenoa gave a croaking laugh, before waving her gnarled hands towards the hidden door. "Now, go make sure that princess doesn't blow up my basement with those staves of yours." Hiryute gave a cheer before moving into the door, rushing to surprise her fellow Familia members. Some guard she is! However, as I moved to follow, the old hag spoke again. There was an note to her voice that I'd never heard before. It was a note of appraisal and… satisfaction. "Good to know you've taken Mage, Hikigaya. Keep working on your magic and you'll receive Arcanum or Wizardry soon enough."
"…Hmph, the advice on how to figure that out better be in this book of yours." I was momentarily stunned by Lenoa's correct appraisal of my Developmental Ability. However, I caught myself and shook my head. The old hag probably figured it out the moment that I entered the shop, only keeping quiet since Hiryute was present. Since the Amazon went off to surprise her fellows, the ancient witch probably didn't see a point in baiting me. "Otherwise I might choose something else instead of those just to spite you."
"Hah! And you'd be the type to do it too!" Lenoa cackled and shook her head. The old hag took to her ladle and book once more, returning to stirring her boiling mixture. "There's no need to worry about that. It's there. You don't get to be as old as me without picking up a few, devious tricks." Another laugh left her lips. "Heh, as if I'd risk chasing away the chance to pull in more Grimoires, cheeky brat!"
"You're far too clever for such a greedy, old witch." I shook my head, but I couldn't hold back my own laugh as I crossed the threshold. Lenoa wasn't Hiratsuka-sensei, not by a long shot. The old hag was more like me than anyone else. A part of me wanted to be like this well-connected, fearsome woman who was wealthy beyond compare… but sitting around in the back of a shop wasn't going to get me home. Honestly, I was jealous. "Don't ever change."
"I don't plan to, Hikigaya." Lenoa chortled, her words echoing through the stairs as I descended. "It's the only way to make a decent living in this shitty town."
On that, of course, I agreed.
...
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
OmnipresenceBeing
OmnipresenceBeing Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Like it ? Add to library！
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone