/ Video Games / Not a Rage Game
Synopsis
A story of a normal school boy named Niel who's hobby is to play video games especially competetive games with MOBA genre. His group of friends suggest for him to play Mobile Legends.
As Niel is losing in a game, an entity will appeared where he'll possess Niel which give him an advantage in his matches.
Can Niel become the best Mobile Legends player? Found out his adventures here at Not a Rage Game.
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I really like the idea of your story, the charcters determination in learning how to use fanny (I want to learn it too but I really can't HAHA). Niel is just like me whenever I have lots of battle points, having second thoughts about buying the hero I want. I'm no expert in Grammar but I really think you should improve (I need to improve too hehe).
Hi! In my opinion, this is a good narration of how you discovered MLBB but I think this is not the kind of story that the contest is looking for. There are some grammatical errors and redundant words here and there. Anyways, continue writing stories, I like stories with heavy narrations. Keep it up, use this as a stepping stone to create awesome stories!! Please come and check my story too called "Bright Claw: Emergence" on the #150th spot. Do leave a review and give support if you liked it! Thanks in advance!! :)
The story is great, and your idea is interesting. The downside is, your grammar is slightly incorrect and some part of the story are quite confusing. Overall has potential and I hope this could be in alteast Top 50