Chapter 195: Deadpool?
Luke Cage
"It still drives me nuts that you can do that," Luke said as he watched Jessica slowly drift towards the ground.
"It's bullshit," Jessica said with a roll of her eyes. "I'm basically just a paper airplane."
"Better than a falling brick," Luke's eyes twinkled. "You find anything?"
"No. It's quiet," Jessica blew at her hair when it fell in front of her face as she strode up to him. When her hair refused to listen, she brushed it back with a grunt of frustration. "I thought us doing this patrol shit meant we'd be busy."
"You want criminals running rampant in the streets?" Luke asked with a bit of humor.
"Yeah, so I can hit someone," she took a flask out of her back pocket and took a big swig of her drink.
"Well, Barracuda is supposed to be doing something soon," Luke said. "You're the detective. Maybe instead of running around the city-"
"We start doing actual work," Jessica said as she put her flask away again. "Yeah, okay. Where do we begin?"
"...Pops. He might have an idea on who to go to for answers on what Barracuda is up to. If anyone can get us on the right trail, he can."
"Isn't he a barber?" Jessica asked skeptically.
"And you're a PI," Luke pointed out. "I'm a former convict. We've all got history."
"...Yeah. Yeah, we do," Jessica said. For a moment, Luke saw it again. That shadow across her face. The dark specter she thought he didn't know about. Maybe one day, she'd tell him about whoever was on her mind when she-
A loud sound came from the distance. For a moment, Luke was reminded of Star Wars. It sounded like the blasters from those movies, a sound that echoed in the air. Then the sound of an explosion.
Luke was moving immediately.
"Luke! Damnit, you overly heroic-" Jessica shouted, rushing after him.
The pair ran through the streets, ending up in the middle of an open section of the city. Just in time to see a body crash into the ground. People were screaming and rushing through the streets, trying to get away, but Luke ignored them to focus on the person currently trying to stand up in the street.
"Dial?" Luke said, confused.
"S-Squawk-" the space-pterodactyl staggered, coughing. "Luke? What the hell hit me?"
His chest was dented inward on his right side. Luke rushed over to help him up to his feet, winced at the feeling of the dinosaur scales on that side. They were cracked and scarred, rubbing against Luke's invulnerable skin.
"What the fuck!?" Jessica shouted as she joined them. "Are you supposed to be dented?"
"Squawk," he said weakly. He reached for his omnitrix.
"Not today, space-boy!" a loud and grating voice that sounded somewhat like Demi Moore gargling gravel, echoed. On instinct, Luke moved in front of Dial and Jessica. A flash of light came towards him before he could comprehend what was coming.
And for the first time in a long time, Luke felt pain. His chest screamed at him. He staggered back and shouted, clutching at his skin. Unbroken. But he felt like he'd been hit by a baseball bat swung by the Hulk.
"Whoa, it's Power Man!" that grating voice shouted again. "What are you doing here, I thought your first appearance in-universe wasn't for a while! Then again, I'm one to talk, right?"
"What the fuck is he saying!?" Jessica asked as the owner of the grating voice dropped in front of them. "And why is he dressed like a giant red condom?"
"It's too bad guys can't see me bleed."
He was of average height, with a muscular build that could be seen under the red and black outfit he was wearing, a suit that was some combination of military and ninja. A red mask rested over his head, with a pair of white pupils where his eyes would be. He had a pair of sword hilts strapped to his back, way too many pouches and belts strapped on the outside of his suit, and a big fucking gun over his shoulder.
"I know right!?" that was followed with the gun lighting up a bright purple before emitting a blast, which Luke blocked again, shouting as he felt the large beam crack against his chest. "A real-life BFG! Man, you're tanky. Here, try another shot."
A flash of green came from behind Luke. The big gun blasted another laser.
And a hand reached out, absorbing the light into openings in the fingertips.
"Deadpool?" Dial, in the form of a one-eyed alien with black skin and tendrils on his head, stepped alongside Luke, his eyes wide. "Wade, since when were you around?"
"Well, this chapter to be honest. I got retroactively added to the canon of the story. Which, you know, is probably gonna be a mess on the timeline," Luke stared at him, trying to understand. It was like he was speaking, but not getting his words in the right order?
"What the fuck is he saying?" Jessica said what Luke was thinking.
"Just ignore it," Dial said with a sigh. "It's likely only Jen and I would understand. You know she did this kind of shit first?"
"Wait, you understand what I'm talking about!?" The red-suited guy fired another laser, which Dial absorbed then fired back. "No one understands!" the guy said cheerily as he backflipped over the laser blast, landing on a car. "Oh, look out for the other mercs."
Luke was shocked when Dial shot at a random 3rd story window with another energy blast. Then a man came tumbling out, screaming before he smashed into the same car Deadpool was sitting on. More men sprouted from the windows, shooting at the trio. Luke blocked the bullets from hitting Jessica while Dial fired back, zipping around. Around 12 men or so.
"Luke, you okay?" Dial asked him, absorbing another energy blast. Despite the lack of effect they were having, Deadpool seemed to be having fun just shooting them, yelling 'pew pew!' with every trigger pull. "You got hit twice!"
"Yeah!" Luke said. "What do you need!?"
"Civilians, now!"
"Fuckin-" Jessica spat out, rushing past Luke. People were screaming in the streets. The mercs, despite being apparently well trained, weren't being very safe with where they were firing. "Will you fucking get out of here you idiots!?"
Jessica followed up her yell by ripping a parking meter out of the ground and tossing it like a javelin, sending one of the mercenary's flying back.
"Wait, this is rated-R?" Deadpool shouted gleefully. "Fuck. Cunt. Bitch. Balls."
"Balls aren't rated R," Dial said. Then he shot Deadpool in the chest. The beam of blue light speared through Deadpool's chest, the smell of burnt flesh filling the air. Luke stared at the gory death scene, horrified by the casual murder, the fact he could see through Deadpool's body now.
"..." Deadpool raised a finger. Slowly, the hole in his chest began to fill in again before Luke's shocked eyes. Right about when he could see lungs, Deadpool spoke. "Yeah, maybe your balls aren't."
"Again," Dial said, raising a plug-like hand up. "Luke, Jessica. Take out those mercs. I'll take on the fourth-wall breaking, healing, ninja man."
They didn't argue. The pair went sprinting towards the mercs shooting at them, Luke in front and tanking the bullets as Jessica followed.
"The hell is a fourth wall?" Jessica mumbled as she ran behind him. The sounds of lasers firing back and forth came from behind them. Jessica crouched and jumped upwards, almost seeming to fly before she entered the third floor. Luke took to a sprint, using his enhanced speed to rush up the stairs and join her.
When he got there, the third floor was an office. Things had gotten quiet. That didn't happen often when Jessica was involved.. He stopped at the door to peek inside through the small window there. Jessica was ducked behind a cubicle, a mercenary unconscious at her feet. Another one of them was holding a group of people in office clothes hostage, standing next to two other men, 7 at the windows and shooting at Dial, while two others were prowling forward through the cubicles, the door Luke was at giving him a good look. He looked carefully around.
The mercenary holding the people hostage was yelling. "-out right now, or I swear to god I'll light them up bitch! I don't care what powers you have, you ain't faster than a bullet!"
Damnit. Luke carefully marked the position of the three men. They had around 8 hostages, and the men were standing right next to each other. Okay. Back in the old days, he'd been good at mentally marking where people were after a look. If he did this right…
Luke ran up another stair level. On the next floor, a janitor was crouched behind a plant, and gave a little scream when Luke ran past him. He ignored that man to head to an office. The door was locked, so he squeezed the knob and rushed in. A skinny white woman shrieked when he came in, throwing a snow globe at him from where she'd hidden behind her desk. Luke ignored that as well, coming to a spot on the floor. Based on where he'd mentally marked things. Luke stepped back. Then, with a big footstomp forward, he smashed apart the floor while smashing his fists on the ground, falling through to the next floor.
The three mercs had enough time to look up before hundreds of pounds of black man fell towards them in a shower of floor and ceiling. Luke hit them hard, grabbing one of them and tossing him at one of the mercs shooting at Dial, sending both screaming out of the window.
"Run, now!" Luke yelled at the hostages.
"Come on!" An older Asian man among the hostages yelled. To Luke's surprise, he grabbed one of the guns the mercs had dropped and aimed it with experienced motions, covering his coworkers' backs as they ran out the back door. Luke grabbed a cubicle wall, ripped it from the floor, and tossed it frisbee style at another merc, sending the guy flying through another cubicle with a scream.
The other mercs started to figure out what was going on, turning their fire from Dial to Luke, while the guys who'd been looking for Jessica turned to him and started firing. Luke spread his arms out, scowling as bullets bounced off his bare skin.
"Really hope BRIDGE is willing to buy me more clothes," Luke mumbled under his breath as his shirt, already tattered and burnt from the two laser blasts he'd taken, fell apart and floated to the ground. Luke continued to protect the hostages until the last person was out. Before he could move forward, a computer desk flew into three of the mercs from behind them, knocking them out and possibly breaking many of their bones.
Apparently, Jessica was angry. She picked up a PC and launched it at one of the men who had been looking for her, the impact sending him tumbling onto the ground. The last men standing were a guy who was running towards the stairs, and a merc who was switching his gaze from Luke to Jessica.
"Okay!" the merc tossed his gun aside, lifting his hand up. "Okay! I give up!"
"Jessica," Luke said.
She picked up a computer monitor. The guy surrendering screamed. "No, wait, I surre-"
Jessica fired the monitor, superhuman strength launching the screen like a baseball. It smashed the guy who'd been running towards the stairs across his back, dropping him.
"Really like throwing things, huh?" Luke noted with a grin.
"They had guns," Jessica said with a shake of her head.
The pair looked over at the last guy. He hesitantly looked between them. Luke looked around, then grabbed a top section of a cubicle, the metal bending in his hands.
"Whoa, whoa!" the man screamed.
"Calm down, I'm just going to tie your hands together," Luke said with an annoyed look. The merc sighed in relief, while Jessica looked around.
"Wait, do we have to tie up all of them?" when Luke nodded, she cursed. "Are you kidding me?"
"Welcome to the logistics of law enforcement," as Jessica spat out a series of obscenities, grabbing another cubicle to rip apart and turn into cuffs, Luke looked out the window.
Dial and Deadpool had disappeared.
Tony Stark/Iron Man
Tony eyed the woman who was standing across the room from him, yellow eyes gazing into his brown.
She was short and lithe, wearing a black dress that was a little too big for her, as though it had been chosen at the last minute. She ignored a waiter who offered her champagne, instead walking over towards Tony.
"Great, you're looking at her," Ruby sighed, the teenager said while grabbing the silverware in front of him.
"Why not, she's looking at me," Tony pulled a small container from his pocket, opened it up to reveal two quantum comm earbuds. He passed one to Ruby and placed the other in his own ear.
"Yeah, which means she knows she doesn't have the element of surprise," Ruby cursed.
"Jarvis," Tony whispered.
"Yes, Mr. Stark?" Jarvis said over the ear bud.
"I've got Laura here," he said. "That assassin girl who's been seen working with-"
"Agent's Triplett and Carter. I will inform the security there to empty the building and will send a suit over."
"Send the Dial-9 one," Tony said.
About twenty feet away from them, Laura's eyes flashed. A group of crystals sprouted from her palms, before she snapped her hands forward, shooting the crystals at Ruby and Tony.
"Down!" Ruby shouted while rising to her feet, tossing the silverware in her hands like throwing knives while kicking the table they'd been sitting at upwards.
Forks, spoons, and knives of various types and sizes met a series of crystal daggers. The mini-assassin, knowing that silverware was no match for invulnerable super-sharp diamonds, had thrown her makeshift weapons towards Laura herself, forcing the other woman to dodge the spray of silver. It made quite a spectacle, the diamonds sparking and shattering the silverware as they embedded across the walls, floor, and the table Ruby had snapped up. The table shattered apart under the diamonds, but Tony and Ruby had already moved out of the way.
Laura raised two hands, sprouting more diamonds as yellow eyes flashed. Tony snapped his watch across his hand, the metal snapping and clicking to surround his fist in red armor with a blue light in the center, his belt wrapping around his arm to create more armor in a flow of catoms.
"Eeeeeeee!" some blonde debutant screamed. More people followed, staring at Laura in fear.
"Out, now!" Tony shouted, crouching down behind the table and grabbing his wristwatch in one hand and his belt in the other, ripping it from his pants.
"Everyone, head to the exits!" the guy at the podium yelled, his arm impaled by a diamond. To his credit, he simply held onto his right arm and kept shouting. "There's one in the back, and one near the stage! Tony Stark is here, he's going to save us!"
"No pressure, right?" Tony said with a roll of his eyes. He raised his hand and fired a single shot of sonic's at the brainwashed woman.
Laura flipped up and out of the way of the attack before it was launched, though she still winced as the wave of sound flew under her. Ruby threw a steak knife at her, which Laura slashed out of the air, coming towards Tony. Her right foot raised up, a single long diamond blade ripping apart her black heel as she kicked down at Tony.
"Whoa!" Tony blocked the claw on his arm, the belt he'd transformed into armor getting a long scratch before catoms flowed to refill the space. "Damn lady, you're flexible. You do yoga? Maybe pilates?"
Laura didn't respond, instead landing on the floor and jumping forward. As she was stabbing out at him, he hit her with a sonic blast.
"YAAAA!" Laura shrieked. A sound filled the air, like the shattering of metal. For a moment, Tony didn't know what had happened, watching in confusion when she reeled back in pain. Then they met eyes. And he felt horror fill him.
A group of crystals had shattered across her forehead, sending blood dripping down her face. Her eyes were filled with hatred worthy of the Hulk himself.
"GRAAAAGH!" Laura moved with lightning speed, claws slashing out at Tony's face. He desperately blocked the blow on his armor, and felt blinding pain when the blade sliced through his it to dig into his forearm.
Ruby kicked Laura in the face, sending her staggering, while Tony fired another sonic blast at her, pushing through the pain of the deep cut in his arm. "Jarvis, eta on that armor!" Tony shouted while unleashing a bright flash of light that hit Laura in the eyes.
Blinded, the diamond assassin sprayed an array of crystals from her body at random. Ruby ducked under a few blades, but was still stabbed in the thigh, shouting in pain as her blood spilled. Tony raised his armored arm to block the ones that were flung at him, one slicing past his rib, another stabbing him in the shoulder. Pain lanced up from there, blinding Tony for just a moment from sheer pain. He fired another blast of sonic power, but Laura ducked behind a table when he missed.
"She's quick," Tony mumbled, watching as Laura flipped away. "You okay, midget?" he said to Ruby.
"Only Mahmoud can call me that!" Ruby said. The teenage assassin wrapped her fists in tablecloth as Tony watched.
"That's cute. You're as adorable as a kitten with a gun. Also, is this really the time to be accessorizing?" Tony shot at Laura again, and got a set of crystals shooting at him for his trouble. He ducked, almost getting shot.
"Is this really the time to be throwing one-liners!?" Ruby shouted, grabbing some of the diamonds that had been thrown at them out of the walls behind them, her wrapped hands protecting her from the makeshift daggers edges.
"You haven't read my biography, have you?" Tony watched in interest as Ruby tossed the diamonds at Laura. The brunette woman raised a shield of crystal across her arm.
Laura stared at them. And Tony looked into those eyes. She had eyes like a dead fish. Uncaring, cold. The eyes of someone who didn't care if they lived or died. Tony raised a hand and fired a sonic blast again. When it hit her, Laura screamed in agony, crystals within her shattering across her arms. But it was like she only shouted out of reflex. When she looked back at him, Tony shook his head. Blood dripped on the floor, wounds healing even as they were made. And she didn't care.
"Strucker is a real asshole," Tony whispered to himself.
"Sir," Jarvis said. The familiar whine of repulsors in flight came from outside. "Your suit has arrived."
It came through the window, glass flying around. Tony grinned, rising to his feet and jumping towards it, spinning so his back was facing the suit. It opened up, surrounding him in hardened plates of metal. In seconds, Tony Stark was replaced with the Iron Man.
The suit he was wearing was made of blue-green material, with large ports on each shoulder and forearm. He shrugged his shoulders, feeling the suit adjust around him.
"Sorry about this kid," Tony said, facing Laura. The brunette woman looked at him without a hint of fear or worry. Just blank eyes. "But this is over."
The blank eyes faded, for just a moment. If Tony hadn't been looking, he would have missed it. The hope that filled her gaze. He froze before he could attack.
Then the hope disappeared from her eyes, and she was running up to him. She leaped upward and tossed dozens of diamond blades at him. Iron Man opened two ports on his shoulders, revealing a pair of round circular metal plates. They shook at immense speed and power, unleashing blasts of pure sound in front of them.
Diamonds shattered in mid-air. Laura screamed as the powerful waves of sound hit her, her legs and arms sticking out in odd angles as the diamonds that had replaced her bones cracked under the immense waves of sonic power.
Tony stopped the attack in time to feel someone climb up his back, place their feet on his shoulders, then jump forward. Ruby front-flipped off of him, bringing up two large diamonds in her hands.
"HA!" Ruby cried, stabbing down as she fell. The diamonds stabbed Laura in either shoulder. Ruby backflipped away immediately, landing next to Tony, who raised his hands up.
"Laura!" Tony yelled. "Stand down, now! We don't want to kill you."
"Or I'm going to… uh, arrest you, I think?" Ruby said hesitantly. She blinked, rubbing her fingers along the edges of the diamonds she'd stolen. "How the hell do you threaten someone when you don't want to kill them? Wait, can we maim her?"
"God, kid, seriously?" Tony said, dumbfounded.
"...kill me."
They looked up at Laura. The brunette woman was shaking in place. Her body was snapping together, the sickening appearance of skin closing up over bones of blue-green crystal. Her yellow eyes stared at them.
"...kill me," she whispered again.
"Tony," Ruby said, looking at him confused. "Is this a trick?"
In his suit, Tony focused on his hud, reading everything he could. "No. It's a lot worse than that. It's what she wants more than anything."
Laura chose then to rush towards them with all her speed, almost a blur. Ruby and Tony met her in the center.
While many had evacuated that room, a few stayed to watch. Ruby lashed out with her stolen blades, parrying, stabbing, and leaping about despite the long diamond still sticking out of her thigh. Tony moved with superhuman speed in his suit, firing sonic attacks with accuracy, punching through a pillar when he missed hitting Laura, flew through the air to dodge another wave of diamonds before hitting Laura in the chest with a punch.
Laura herself seemed unstoppable. She moved with immense agility and speed, slashing out with her blades, dodging Ruby and Tony as she fired crystal daggers. When they did land a hit, she would heal back with supernatural speed.
For one moment, Laura and Ruby were pressing blades against each other in mid-air. The older assassin's face was a blank mask, entirely emotionless. The younger blonde was screaming, pressing the daggers in her hand against Laura's claws. Tony stood underneath them, his hands pointed up at Laura, waves of sound erupting from his gauntlets. For those watching, there was a brief moment of clarity. A realization of the power and skill the three had. That they were watching the monsters that the modern age had created.
Then Tony fired. The waves of sound that hit Laura sent her spiralling upwards, crashing through the ceiling.
"After her!" Ruby shouted, landing on Tony's right shoulder.
Tony blasted upwards, Ruby crouched on his shoulder, and the pair entered the hole in the ceiling Laura had created. Up above was a hotel room, an empty one. Laura had smashed through into the kitchen. Tony raised his arms, ready to respond to whatever Laura did next.
"...Where'd she go?" Ruby asked.
"Jarvis?" Tony asked.
"I have no footage that shows her escaping," the AI butler responded.
Ruby landed on the ground. Tony crunched his way into the apartment.
A blur of motion came from his right side. He raised an arm.
The long spear of crystal scraped against the hardened shell of his suit, the material built to take on Dial's Diamondhead form surviving relatively well against her blades. Laura ran in, wrapping her arms and legs around Tony. All across her body, diamonds spiked out in a spray of blood, piercing into the suit and just barely held back from stabbing him. Laura stared at him, pain in her eyes. But nothing else. Tony stared at her, horrified. The feeling of piercing crystals through her body… Doing this to herself, to this extent.
Ruby stabbed Laura in the ribs. The older assassin slashed out at Ruby, removing herself from Tony. The katana-like claw she snapped out at Ruby caught the young woman in her stomach, sending her to the ground.
Tony, seeing Ruby fall in a spray of blood, raised an arm and punched Laura, unleashing a sonic blast at the same time. Laura was sent flying back like she'd been shot out of a cannon, crashing through the window to the street outside.
"Kid!" Tony moved to Ruby's side as fast as he could, turning her onto her back. "Kid, you okay!?"
Ruby coughed, staring up at him, then down at her stomach. A deep cut lay there, bleeding profusely.
"Jarvis, get the med-team ready!" Tony gathered Ruby in his arms, running over to the window.
"They are already preparing sir. I also have Helen Cho flying out to provide medical support."
Tony looked around. Laura had disappeared into the city. Back to Strucker. Back into a life she would rather die than continue to live.
Fine. He'd failed one of these kids. He wouldn't fail two.
The Iron Man went shooting into the sky, rushing for his tower, as Blood Diamond escaped into the city.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Hey_Rishabh
Hey_Rishabh Next chapter, Dial vs Deadpool. Let's hope he doesn't take over the narrative with his fourth-wall brea- OH GOD, HE'S IN THE HOUS-
"Next chapter, Deadpool beats the shit out of a self-insert with brilliant humor, like the raging sex machine he is! Next time, on the Deadpool Show!"
...That wasn't even funny.
"Aren't you the one writing this shitty dialogue?"