so I'm already back at home
*SIGHS*
so since my Okasan isn't home yet i went straight to the stairs to the second floor went to the right to reach the first door which is plain caramel painted
and entered my room
~then the thingking starts~
whoa, what a mind blowing situation I've been like nani?!, what?!
i just don't understand
is that love so.. unpredictable, he doesn't even know me yet and so don't I
i dont even know myself
yes, I've been trying to help and get close to him
but only because he seemed so lost, so cold,
because of all the barriers he built just like I did
it's just that I wanted a brother an onnichan
(thats he's nick name to me though it means big/older brother)
thats all, nothing less nothing much
and that moment im not even aloud to have a bf yet unless im on collage or finished studying
hell only end up hurting himself & me
but a part of me wanted to try somehow...
hes important to me too and that makes me afraid to loose him
but what if...
what if it works so this time I'll take the risk
even if I may loose one of my closest friends
my onnichan
co cosplayer
my kuya
what if
it makes me scared and sad yet it also gives me hope
of new starts ,new beginnings
or another end
a hell dead end
a painful and unforgettable mistakes
I'm scared but if I need to go through it then I should
if its God's will, just if this is another trial then why not
cause if I fail or lose I will always know that no struggles were given to us that we cannot solve
if its what they say "pinagtagpo pero di tinadhana"
then let it be, at least I tried
so that in the end I wouldn't regret anything because I did the best that I could