Chapter 44: 3.07 OBSESSIVE LOVE: Empathy

Kyden is forced to stay at home.

He tries to come in the next day to complete paperwork if nothing else but the chief dismisses him and gives him a long lecture on taking care of his health.

Kyden grimaces and doesn't think typing with his wrist injury is such a big deal but there's also not much he can do but listen to orders.

He returns home, where he has the cover of privacy to sulk like a petulant child, huffing and storming around his apartment in circles to vent his frustrations.

The Belle Sacris case felt like his to wrap up, dammit! And now it's being handed off to who knows which clown that loiters around the office munching on donuts all day.

Okay, Kyden's being a bit harsh but the majority of the Exorcism Department doesn't often deal with dangerous threats. Not all demons are violent and difficult to apprehend, but Kyden's team is a bit of a specialist. They're geared more for the aggressive types.

But now, not only is he saddled with one day off, but his boss is forcing four upon him! Kyden's impatience festers to a boiling point on the second day and he's painfully restless.

He needs to do something, anything! Luckily there's at least one person in the world that agrees to indulge him.

On one cloudy afternoon, Kyden meets Professor Ervenir for lunch. He doesn't expect the professor to show him a pair of tickets.

The restaurant they meet at is a mid-tiered steakhouse and they do a very interesting cauliflower steak that Kyden likes to indulge on from time to time. A classical tune plays in the background and the steakhouse's walls are dark with crimson-painted walls.

"What…?" Kyden blinks and Raziel chuckles at his confusion.

"I got them as a gift from a student of mine but I don't really have anyone to go with. The aquarium is around here, so why don't we go afterward?"

"I-" Kyden opens his mouth and frowns. He doesn't even know why he feels oddly embarrassed. It's probably because the last time he went on outings as frivolous as such was back when he was still dating Cici. It's been a while.

But he's off of work and has nothing he can do. He can't train and even drawing is severely limited with the cast around his wrist. So he doesn't even have a reason to say no. Kyden nods, chewing on a small piece of cauliflower before swallowing. "Alright, let's go after."

He decides it's not so bad because the professor smiles at him and the atmosphere feels quite easy.

Today, the professor wears a steel blue dress shirt, the top button undone. His attire is simple but he looks unmistakably good, with his hair groomed back neatly and a golden watch on his wrist.

Though they've only been acquainted around six years, Kyden actually knew of Raziel Ervenir before then.

Back then, in his prime, the professor was a professional exorcist much like Kyden is now. He was a man of renown, even being hailed as a hero of the dreary city of Salemo.

Kyden recalls the younger Raziel clearly. The ash brown hair that fell in front of his sharp hazel eyes; an expression full of intensity and purpose. That tragic, forlorn tone of his still echoes in Kyden's mind to this very day, 'I'm sorry. I was too late.'

"Kyden?"

Kyden flinches, sitting straight. He looks up, silver eyes meet with hazel ones. The fork hangs comically from his mouth and he doesn't notice until Raziel chuckles at him. "What were you thinking about?"

Kyden quickly puts the fork down, a bit too quickly as it clatters against the plate. He blushes, looking down to see the remnants of his meal; one last bit of cauliflower and a smear of gravy sauce. "I…wasn't thinking about anything."

Raziel chuckles, "Are you lying to me, dear Kyden? You had a particularly dreamy look on your face."

He frowns at the teasing, trying to hide his embarrassment. "I was…just thinking about the past."

The smile on Raziel's face falters a little and Kyden almost regrets his choice of words. "Ah. I hope you aren't thinking about—"

"No," Kyden quickly corrects, "It's not about that. I'm not—" He isn't thinking about Cici. Cici doesn't need to be present in his mind at all times. Especially not now. Kyden takes a breath and straightens. The color on his cheeks rises but he comes clean, hoping to clear up the misunderstanding, "I was thinking about you."

Raziel's eyes go wide. He puts down his utensils. "Me?" the professor echoes, "I'm not sure if I should to be flattered or concerned."

Kyden looks aside, coughing awkwardly, not wanting to admit more than he already has.

He earns a teasing smile but Raziel is kind enough to let him off easy.

The bill gets footed and with much friendly arguing, they decide to split it and Kyden finds himself oddly content, lulled into a pace that hasn't gotten a chance to enjoy in years.

He's almost forgotten such mundane joys but he's too proud to admit his secret excitement. After all, he's too old to be excited at the prospect of seeing an aquarium of all things.

Salemo is a city that isn't very well known for entertainment, despite its prosperous splendor. There aren't even many interesting tourist attractions to go around aside from maybe one or two historical sights that hearken humanity's past supremacy and the marvels of the Holy Mother Oracle.

Aside from that, there isn't much else. But if there's one thing that receives at least a sprinkle of praise, it has to be the Salemo National Aquarium.

It's quite a strange place, really. Despite the aquarium itself being a rather dated structure, it's said that the specimens that reside there now are all descended from animals that have been transported to Salemo post Collapse. It makes no sense that people would have risked such dangerous journeys going back and forth between key locations just to bring some live fish to Salemo and yet, that was exactly what happened.

Perhaps it is this very absurd origin story that the aquarium has to lend its success to. Even now, on a weekday there's a small line to get inside. Thankfully, the building isn't nearly as crowded as it is on weekends. Kyden won't lie, he loves the dark atmosphere and the ethereal lighting that seems to glow from within the glass displays.

All manners of aquatic life greet them across the thick veil of glass, some colorful and speedy, others dull and sluggish. Some are tiny, like the minuscule seahorses and jellyfish that invited visitors to press their faces against the glass to enjoy. And other animals are large, like the lumbering shark that swims across the length of a display, flanked by cleaner fish. Without there being a thick crowd, the atmosphere within the aquarium is calming and peaceful.

Kyden and Raziel fall into slow steps, taking their time to enjoy the environment.

Conversation comes to them with ease.

Kyden stops by the shark display and watches the carnivorous beast peacefully swim within its expansive tank. "As a researcher," Kyden begins, one of his stray thoughts unwind and slip past his lips. "What is your opinion on the emotional life of demons?"

Raziel stands at his side, watching the creature leisurely swim. They spot commotion coming from atop the tank, likely workers that have come to maintain the tank. The shark's attention is captivated; it swims as fish are dumped into the tank. Jaws filled with serrated teeth unhinge. The predator feasts on its pre-prepared meal.

"Demons are very emotional beings," Raziel hums, "They experience the same scope of feeling as their human host after all."

Kyden frowns, "Are you saying that they are comparable with humans on an emotional level?"

"If we are talking about emotions alone, I would say that demons are even more in tune with them," Raziel hums contemplatively. "But why are you asking this? There is, after all, no reason to theorize a demon's perspective on the world."

Kyden frowns, wondering why he opened his mouth in the first place. He does have a lot of these odd absent thoughts but generally speaking, he does a good job of keeping them to himself. It's only when he's with the professor that he ends up letting loose and blabbering about this and that.

Honestly, it's a little embarrassing. Still, he thinks earnestly about the question, in search of a sincere response, "I…I know someone who empathizes with demons, probably a little too much. I was just curious about that person's perspective. It seems so unfathomable to me."

"Ah," Professor Ervenir nods in understanding, "That new partner of yours? I know that it is a popular school of thought among young people these days. However, there is really no point in empathizing so deeply with demons or even acknowledging their emotional existence.

"Consider this, they cannot be counted as individuals with free thought in the same ways as human beings. All of their experiences and perspectives are merely borrowed from an existing human host that will expire the moment they are without a host. Even so, they are perfectly capable of existing without a human being, just in a different state, one without the complexities of a human being's thought process. Mimicking human emotions is merely a survival mechanism. They are but parasites. But you know this, Kyden."

Kyden tightens his lips, thinking about all the times that Voir has hesitated and all the headaches the brat has caused. He sighs, concluding that working with him has put off thoughts into Kyden's head. "You're right. I don't even know why I was thinking about those things."

Raziel chuckles, placing an arm around Kyden's shoulder. "It's fine. I am always happy to entertain these theoretical debacles if you so wish to spring them upon me."

When Kyden looks up, Raziel winks down at him. Perhaps he should find their closeness a bit awkward but he doesn't. "I'll keep that in mind."

There's a mirthful twinkle in Raziel's eyes. It's rather charming, Kyden notes. "Alright then, why don't we go and see the killer whale show? I heard that they are quite intriguing!"