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Chapter 2: Stupid Coward and Stupid Brave

I was sitting on the balcony of my apartment around 4:00 pm when a balloon flew into the sky. I remember Ford, then a white pick-up truck stopped in front of my gate, the car looks familiar and a guy wearing a Grey t-shirt wearing a cap went down and slowly walked in front of my balcony, he looks up and smile then said "Iced latte and Pizza?" I smiled … it was Ford. I said, "Hey! Of course, wait I'll go down to open the gate". So, I opened the gate he was not there outside but his car was still there so I went out to look for him, his car is locked and no other people are in the street then I just decided to go back inside, in my surprise he was already standing in front of my door so I said: "how did you get in?" he laughed and said "let's just say that this is my Mother's apartment so I got the keys." And I was like "alright! Wow you are so all over the town" he smiled and said "I'm hungry can we just eat in your balcony?" and so I let him enter my place that is technically his place. We sat on the balcony eating pizza and sipping an iced latte while smoking and talked about life. We talked about how he moved on from Beca's sister "she was my first girlfriend, my childhood sweetheart… she was my life since high school. When I lost my brother and my parents were so busy with all of their business, she was the only family I have left, so when I lost her, I lost me, my life. I resigned from work, accepted my parent's help to run the coffee shop just to be busy and have more time to go out with my friends just to forget then I wrote those tissues and you answered them, it helped it was like God send me an angel, a messenger." Then he smiled and I was like "ha? Me an angel? You bet ha-ha". "Because of you I slowly had a force again to try, I followed you without you knowing it. I dated a lot of girls, after Lay I had 3 other relationships that did not last that long, the last girl I've dated was Lay's best friend, she saw us making out in the car when she visited her then Lay got so mad at me and her." He shared then I asked "so, you purposely dated her to get even?" "Yes and No, I am only human I got hurt and I want her to feel that pain also but I don't know how because she is already happily engaged to her new boyfriend then one night, I saw Bea's post she was asking who wants to drink so I messaged her and we went out then there I fell for her too without the purpose of using her, it's like two broken people came together to just ease each other's pain, unfortunately, her best friend is the cost of my pain." I was just looking at him talking and just nodding my head "So, are they okay now? Are they still friends?" I asked "Fortunately yes they are … at first they did not talk for like a month then Lay's engagement got canceled so she needed Bea. Bea and I are okay but I haven't talked to him for a long time now I heard she found a guy also." Then I got curious "Since Lay's engagement got canceled didn't you tried to get back to her?" I asked, He took a deep breath, looked at me and puff his cigar then said, "I did." Then he laughs "stupid me, after all the pain she caused me I still tried but she was impossible after two weeks of dating again I found out he is also seeing someone from our batch a friend of mine". Then he hands over tissue to me with a note "How to stop being stupid?" then I smiled and jokingly asked, "so, that is why you are here for me to answer this tissue again ha-ha?" he laughed and said "yes and no." so I answered him but this time not through writing in the tissue I said "Ford you can't stop being stupid in love but someday you may get tired when you finally meet the one" he nodded and asked "how would you know that she is the one? Have you ever been in love, you haven't shared your stories" I don't know how to answer him so I puff my cigar and drink coffee first then took a deep breath then answered "yes and no. I was never in a relationship but I loved? I am the combination of stupid and coward when it comes to love and because of that I don't know the answer to your question… they say you just feel it." His face got serious and asked "you were never in a relationship but you know all these things?" Then I replied "let's just say I have a friend who was so experienced in love and thought me all this". He looks at the sky and look at me then smiled and I was like "why?" he took the cup of his coffee and said "cheers!" and I was like "cheers? For what?" he laughed and said, "for the stupid and the stupid coward" then we just laughed and finish our pizza.

It was already 7:00 pm when he stood up and said "I have to leave now, thank you." I stood up also to accompany him downstairs then I said "thank you also for the coffee, pizza, and for sharing your story" he smiled and said "more sharing to come Ms. Reddy" then I just smiled back and bid goodbye.

I got promoted as the training department manager in the same company where I first met Ford's wallet. As a manager I have the option to work from home so, I have more time for myself. I continued going to the gym and attended some art classes, I was also into business planning with my best friend Hazel. I am already in my 30s still haven't found the one or at least the first one, I was so focused on my career and self, I got used to living alone until now because I am slowly craving Ford's presence and it's a weird feeling.

Monday morning around 8:00 am I was getting ready to go to the office when my phone rang and it was Ford "Hey Good Morning Ms. Reddy, Do you want to have breakfast with me?'' He spoke but I politely declined since I have to go to work "Hi Hello Good Morning Ford I can't I am sorry I have a meeting today" "I see, I understand it's okay. Take care then I'll see you next time" he said, "alright thank you." I said then when he hung up the phone I immediately went in front of my mirror and shouted "I hate you!" but I was smiling. So, I walked my way to the office, stopped in the smoking area and saw a colleague drinking coffee from Ford's coffee shop and I smiled thinking "why do I have to meet this guy he is changing my routine?" then I started to become friendlier in the office. On that same day, I received four same compliments saying "you look different today" and I just keep on smiling. At lunch break around 1:00 pm, a guy colleague sits beside me in the pantry his name is Phil he is a new guy from the engineering department he is half Australian and half Filipino, Tall, Tanned skin, Bald with a beard he seems to be in his mid-30s. "Hi, I am Phil… I am new here would you mind if I share the table with you?" he said "sure have a sit" I said. He will be having a sandwich and a bottled cappuccino coffee from star bucks then I thought of Ford's coffee shop "I know a good coffee shop not too far from here, if you're into coffee you might want to visit it, it's called AROMA" I mentioned then he replied, "yeah sure I will". We had a small talk about coffee and his job in the office, then I finished my lunch from McDonald's I had a burger and a pie. By 5:00 pm I was ready to leave the office when it rained and I don't have an umbrella so I waited in the lobby of our building while trying to book a car from my phone, but unfortunately, my phone went dead battery so I have no choice but to wait for the rain to stop. Phil showed up in the lobby while talking to someone on his phone, he looked at me and while putting his two fingers up and said "hey" then continued walking towards the exit door. Then a tall, white-skinned guy entered the lobby wearing a cap in my surprise it was Ford. He saw me sitting and he said "waiting for the rain to stop Ms. Reddy?" and I was like "yeah what are you doing here?" then just before he answers I heard the voice of Phil saying "Hey Red would you like me to take you Home?" then I stood up and said "Yes Phil, I am in a hurry also a good thing you asked. By the way, this is Ford the owner of the coffee shop I was talking about earlier. I assume you have an important business here Ford, right? so, we better keep going" I was nervous for some unknown reason then Ford said "Yes right. I have to meet an important person here. Nice to meet you Phil, Ford Select." And they shake hands Phil said "Hi Ford nice to meet you bro, Philip Word." Then I said "Alright bye Ford we'll go ahead" and he just smiled. On our way to his parking area, Phil asked me where I live, I told him just a few blocks away from the office and that I just normally walk. Phil is driving a black sedan he said he just borrowed it from his cousin since he just arrived from Australia. Unlike Ford who is quiet and very mysterious, Phil is talkative and very open. He asks a lot of questions. After 15 minutes in his car, he was surprised to know I live there because he lives just across from my apartment "I live there in the black gated two-floor house which my cousin owns so, neighbors ha?" then I replied "small world ha-ha anyway thanks neighbor for taking me home" and he said "You are welcome, I'll see you tomorrow? "then I said "No I won't be in the office tomorrow" then he frowned like a kid and said "too bad. Alright take care then. I'll see you when I see you then." And I went inside my apartment. To my surprise I found a red basket with some coffee sachet and chocolate powder from AROMA with a note "Since your busy get coffee, let my coffee get to you instead. Ford" then I smiled and messaged him "Thank You for the coffee" he replied, "You're welcome Red". Then I quickly went up to take a shower, it has been a long day. I prepared my dinner oatmeal and fried chicken with tomatoes on the side, I was watching a movie while eating then suddenly a car stopped at my gate, I went to the balcony to check who is it then I saw Ford's car. I went down to open the door and surprisingly he was still outside the gate "You did not bring your keys Mr. Select?" he laughed and said "I am not if you want me in so I did not" I opened the gate and saw him smiling "so this means I can come in?" he said and I jokingly replied "do I have a choice this your apartment anyway so come in Mr. Ford Select" and he said "Thank you got us some wine and pizza, to your balcony?" then I frowned while saying "bad timing I just finished my dinner, eat the pizza then let's share the wine." So, we went up to the balcony and talked all night, it was almost midnight when he left.

I woke up late the following morning, got a headache probably because of the wine I and Ford had last night. I checked my email than did my work for an hour when I heard my stomach since I haven't eaten breakfast so I grab an egg and corned beef from my pantry then tried the coffee Ford gave me. Around 10:00 am I took a shower and received a call from Hazel, today is her baby's birthday my favorite Godson Cupid he is turning 5, Hazel said "Hey there Godmother what time can you come here? Mother needs help from her best friend" and I replied "coming zel sorry I was up so late last night; I'll tell you the story later" then she said "better be a good story then I'll see you" then she hung up the phone. I quickly grab my purse and my car keys then went to the mall to buy a gift for Cupid, I was in the car toys alley when I saw a familiar face. It was Ford holding a Red toy car, I went away from him to hide and slowly went to the other side of the shop but one thing I know he is already in front of me "what are you doing here? Are you following me Ms. Red?" and I said "No, I was actually hiding from you. I am buying a gift for my Godson, what are you doing here?" then he smiled while saying "I am buying myself a toy car," "seriously? So, you are one of those toy car collectors?" I asked he said "yup I am, do you need help in finding a gift? I can help you" then I said, "yes, I do, I don't have any knowledge about toys." Then he asked me some questions about Cupid and we ended up buying a remote-controlled car, a blue one. After buying the gift he asks me if he can go with me to the Birthday party of Cupid since he got nothing to do and I was hesitant but I said "yes sure you can go with me" so we drove towards his coffee shop first and left his car there and he drove my car instead. It was so awkward I never had a guy in my car aside from my godson cupid and to ease the awkwardness I played a song 10,000 hours by Justin Bieber and he said "nice song" then we talked about music. Hazel's place was like an hour drive from our city, we had a stopover because Ford needed to buy a drink from 711 and a sandwich because hadn't had breakfast so we stopped there and I also bought a snack then Hazel called "Hey godmother where are you now?" I cannot talk loud since Hazel doesn't know I am coming with Ford so I said "almost there zel" then I hung up the phone and just sent her a message "I am with Ford, the guy I was talking about 10 years ago he wanted to join the party so I brought him along. We are almost there, Thanks see you".

I helped Hazel in the preparation of the tables and food while Ford was playing with Cupid and the others kids that are already there. In 30 minutes, the party will start "Red I find him weird" hazel whispered "what kind of weird?" I asked "I don't know but are you happy with him?" she said "We are not like together but I think I like him" I replied then Hazel's ex-husband arrived and the conversation changed. Ford went towards us to help then I introduced him to everyone there. He and Wave (hazel's ex) had beers and talked while we are busy. The party went well, we stayed until dinner had drinks and just enjoyed the night, around 10:00 pm I told hazel "we have to go, it's late already" and she said "you guys can just sleep here, it's safer since both of you are intoxicated with alcohol" she replied and we both looked at Ford's reaction and he answered "that is a good idea hazel, I also cannot drive. And I haven't had a drink like this for a long time, will you be staying for the night wave?" he asked then Wave looks at Hazel and "I can stay in Cupid's room can I Hazel?" Wave asks, then Ford and I looked at each other and smiled waiting for Hazel's answer "It's Cupid's birthday yes you can… just one night." She said and we all just laugh and continue drinking. It was midnight Hazel and Wave said they want to sleep already but Ford is still drinking so I have no choice but to stay with him "Red we'll go to bed now; you know the guest room." Hazel said then it was Ford who answered "Don't worry about us. Thank you for letting us stay. Thanks Man" he said to them both. So, they went upstairs and left me and Ford on the veranda.

It was already 3:00 am when I ask Ford "let's go up? You are already drunk" then he replied "yeah let's go upstairs" and jokingly said "I'm drunk but please don't take advantage of me ok Red?" and I laughed and jokingly answered, "I thought you would like that ha-ha?" He put his arms around me and whispered "If you say please, I might consider it" and I pinch him in the hand and said "so I have to beg you for that? Mr. Ford Select" I sounded a bit mad and he looked at me and said "are you serious?" then I smiled and said "of course not I am joking why would I beg you for that?" then I just accompany him upstairs. The guest bedroom only has one queen size bed and a small couch on the side, upon entering he took his shirt off and his shoes, he has a very nice physique. He looks at me and asks "Do you want me to stay on the couch or can I join you in the bed?" I stuttered in answering because I was so amazed by how beautiful he is then I shook my head and said "you can stay in the bed if you want" then I went to the toilet and did not wait for his answer. I washed and changed clothes that are in the drawer of the guest room and after 15 minutes in the toilet, I went out and saw him sleeping on the right side of the bed facing my side. I put a pillow in between of us then when I was about to lay down, he moves and hugs the pillow so this time he was already closer to me, I took a deep breath and thought "just sleep Red just Sleep". It was 9:00 am when my phone rang, I tried looking for it on my side of the bed then I turned to Ford's side and to my delight, I saw him smiling while holding my phone and said "Good Morning Red, are you looking for this?" and I slowly answered "Yeeees?" then he passes the phone it was Hazel saying breakfast is ready. I informed Ford and he just nodded and went to the toilet, then I wanted to shout but obviously, I cannot so I just silently screamed my heart out and grab my things on the table. After 5 minutes he got out of the shower with just a towel covering his lower part, I just had a glimpse of him and rushed to the toilet also to get ready but before I enter, I told him "You can down first, I might take some time here. You know girl thing ha-ha" then he smiled and said, "Alright I'll go down first you know guy thing ha-ha". Then I did not reply I just giggle inside the toilet. I went down after 20 minutes and they are all sitting and eating at the dining table in the kitchen "Good Morning Godmother" Cupid said and Hazel and Wave said the same copying Cupid. I sat beside Ford, we finished breakfast then bid goodbye to Hazel, Cupid, and Wave.

On our way back to the city Ford asked me if "Do you have any important thing to do today Red?" then I jokingly answer "everything I do is important Ford" then he smiled "so, do you want to go with me and visit someone?" he looks so serious then I said "yes". Then we drove to a different city and went to a Buffet restaurant and I was like "are you still hungry?" then he laughed "no, I just want you to meet someone very important to me". So, we entered the restaurant and the staff greeted him so I was thinking he owns the place also then he asked me to have a sit and he went straight to the cashier. He went back to our table with a dessert and asked for water then I said "who are we waiting for?" then an old guy who is wearing a red sweater walked slowly towards our table and greeted me "Hi Reddy how are you?" and I said "I am sorry? Do I know you Mister?" and he sat beside Ford and said "Mr. Ford Select Jr." and I was shocked to know it was Ford's father that we are meeting so I smiled and said "Hi Sir, I am good how are you? And how did you know my name?" he laughed and looked at Ford "I know you since you were a child my dear". Then I was puzzled and asked "how? Ford do you know this?" and right before he answers his dad spoke and said "No, Ford only knew this few years ago. Ford's mother and your mother are best of friends but they had to separate ways because of your dad. My ex-wife loved your father but he chose your mother that is why I had to be there for Ford's mom then we got married and had Ford and another son who died but she never stopped loving your father and I was just a companion for her but it was a great relationship. When we heard that your parents are going to migrate to New Zealand, I had hope that I can be more than just a companion to my wife, then my wife heard about you being left to work here she did her best to look after you and help you without anyone knowing it, she loves you like you are her own without showing up, she is a good woman but when she wants something, she cannot stop in trying to get it, she forgave your mother but still love your father and you. I got annulled because I met a girl who gave me a reason to leave her and she was okay with it, we are friends and business partners. Then you and Ford met, when Ford was down, he would always go to my place and he mentioned your name Reddy Painter, that is when I told him about our story. I ask Ford to look after you too, you are already like a family to us Red. Ford's Mom Rada is in the hospital now, we are not sure what is her condition but one thing for sure she wanted to see you and your dad." I was almost in tears with all the information I heard then I was stuttering while saying "but my parents are away and I don't know what to say but yes I want to see her, look I am sorry for the things that happened in the past. I am sure my mother would never want to her and my dad I know that man he would never do bad to hurt someone's feeling but if they did, I would like to say sorry to you, to Rada and Ford." He smiled and said "everything is okay now my dear. But your visit will definitely make her happy." Then Ford cleared his throat and said "too much information for today Red, dad we should go ahead. Regards to Aunt Vera." Then Ford stood up and he grabs my hand to stand up and leave the restaurant.

Ford was so quiet in the car and I don't know what to ask him also. I decided to turn on the radio and Beautiful in White played by Westlife, then Ford smiled and said "Of all the songs… can you change that?" then I switch station and Beauty and The Beast played then I look at him and he said "that's fine" so, to settle our quietness I curiously asked him "Do you an allergy to love songs?" he smirks and said "Just that particular song", he was referring to the Beautiful in White song the I had a follow-up question "Is it because of Lay?" then he did not answer he just looked at me and said "Do you believe in marriage?" then I had my eyes so big and my breath stopped at that moment and I could not think of an answer but my mouth unconsciously answered "Yes I did believe in marriage" then he looked at me and ask "did?" I smiled this time I am more relax and I said "Yes I Did. It was my fantasy since I was a child to walk down the aisle and say I do but then things have changed, I learned how to be happy alone since my parents left me, having my friends and work keeps me alive so why would I need to be in a marriage if I am already happy alone? "then he asks "What can make you change your thoughts about marriage?" "I don't know yet maybe when I get used to living with someone, I like then probably it will change. What about you? "I said he answered "I don't "and I was shocked by his answer "like never?" I asked then he replied "Yes", Then he took a deep breath, I felt that he was not comfortable talking about our topic so to lighten up I just asked a different question "Is it because it is expensive?" even though I know he can afford to marry a girl in all the churches in our country then he laughed at me and said, "yeah I guess". We reached his coffee shop around 4:00 pm and that was when we parted ways; I drove my truck back to my apartment while he stayed in the coffee shop. "Thank you for yesterday and today, "he said with a very serious voice so I jokingly answered "I still have tomorrow ha-ha just kidding take a rest, Ford. I'll see you when I see you" then he was already smiling when he replied, "Sure, I want that tomorrow, I'll see you Ms. Red take care".

I took a shower when I reached home then look at our photo at the party, I was looking at Ford's smile then I remember what his father told me and I laid in bed looking at my ceiling asking "God is it Destiny or there is more to this?" I never felt this way before it's like my world is aligned to someone else's world, I was already thinking of how to survive alone but suddenly Ford and his family came into my life. I never imagined because of a wallet my entire life will change, then my phone rang it was Hazel "Hey Godmother your friend Ford forgot his wallet in the toilet" then I smiled and said "again?" she replied "well yeah he did it again" then I replied, "I'll just get it tomorrow". Then Hazel and I had chitchat for like two hours about the party, ford, and wave and had some singing session with Cupid. It was already 9:00 pm when I hung up the phone then I went to my fridge and got some milk to drink before going to bed. Right before I sleep my Mother messaged me then I remember what Ford's dad mentioned, I was hesitant to ask her because I guess it's better to ask my Dad. I and Mom are so close before they left for New Zealand, technically when my sister died, I am the only child. I tell her everything but when they left things have changed, I was more open in sharing thoughts and events in life with Hazel but of course, she is still my Mother. "Hi there Red how are you," she asked "I am good mother; I had a long day. It was Cupid's birthday and I spent the night there…" then I continued with what happened in my day and in the party and she also said that they are planning to visit me soon, they got some break in their jobs. My mother is working as a Florist and my Dad is an Architect. I got so curious about their love story so I started to open a conversation with my mom about her and dad back when they were young "Mom, how did you and dad meet?" then she paused and said, "hmmm in a very complicated way my dear" then I had a follow-up question "Was he your first love?" she laughed and said, "No, he is not my first love" just before I ask another question she continued with her story "I had a long term boyfriend, he was my childhood sweetheart his name is Earl, we were together until college but then I met your dad. I and your dad went to the same school I took up Interior Design while he was an Architecture student, Earl was taking up Medicine and he went to a different school. I have a best friend name Rada she was my classmate and roommate in college she liked your dad very much, the three of us became best of friends. My relationship with Earl was not working anymore at that time, then I have your dad by my side when I was feeling so low at that time and Rada also but Rada fell in love with your dad and I was okay with that because I only looked at your dad as a best friend but your dad said he loved me first and think of Rada as her best friend. I distanced myself from your dad and Rada they became a couple but summer of the last semester before we graduate, we had a batch party on a beach then your dad got so drunk and went up to me and confessed that he still loves me, Rada heard it and she was so devastated. I don't know what to do at that time, I miss Rada and your dad because, before all the mess that happened to us, we were best of friends. But Rada never spoke to me again and she broke up with your dad, while I and your dad still became friends then became a couple when we were already both working, and then you happened so, there we decide to get married. I actually met Rada when I was three months pregnant with you in a coffee shop, I heard she owns that shop then I said hi when I saw her. She said congratulations then introduced his little boy to me, he was three I think his name is Ford named after his Father. So, there I assumed that we are okay because after all we already both have our families but I found out when I was about to give birth to you, she and your dad had an affair, Rada never stopped loving your dad. I wanted to leave your dad but when you came into this world, I said I'll fight for my family no matter what. I gave your dad more than a hundred chances to change but I don't know for some reason he just does things that can ruin our family then I got pregnant with your little sister hoping that she will help change your dad then your sister died, you saw me crying and had fights with your dad asking him to leave us but he promised to change and then he got worst alcohol, Rada and gambling I didn't know how to or where to ask for strength and the courage to stay in our marriage, then I just let him be and focused on you and you graduated I asked him for an annulment and I had my papers ready for New Zealand since you said you want to stay and work there, he begged for the last chance and said that he will go with me in New Zealand and stupid me I still accepted him not because of love but because of you, I love your father but I love you more. "then my mom started to cry and I was like "I am sorry mom… I didn't know that … I am just so sorry"., then she replied, "don't be my dear you gave me strength to carry on and look me and your dad are still together, events happen for a reason, people we meet have a purpose in our life."

After my conversation with my mother, I remember Ford's question about marriage then now I have a new answer "Yes, I do believe in marriage but it will take a man and a woman to make it work. Marriage is hard work and a lot of sacrifices, it takes bravery to make it last", As for Ford's mother she was a warrior who fought for her love even though it seems all wrong but, in the end, she had to face the consequences of her actions that result in losing his husband but that doesn't mean she is a bad person she just loved the wrong guy. I thought I was already stupid but my mom is the most stupid of all but the bravest stupid I know. Now I therefor conclude if you want to love try to be stupid first.


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