Chapter 39: Chapter 38 - Interlude 6
Don't like using an interlude again so soon, but this wouldn't leave my mind, and it does introduce a lot of things, I hope you guys enjoy it.
In my mind, I can just see the dude going: "HEEEEERE's Jonny!"
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Aquaman stopped in front of the defense line, hundreds of soldiers and at least a dozen mages doing their best to hold back the enemy's approach.
The Trench was always something that had to be watched, the animalistic inhabitants sometimes swam up towards the surface and had to be stopped or fought back.
He didn't like it, but it was necessary. The Trench, the collective name for all creatures of that inky black domain, weren't capable of reasoning and they were incredibly aggressive, attacking animals, Atlanteans and especially surface dwellers as soon as they saw them.
Still, it wasn't a hard thing to keep them back… usually. The Trench normally came out alone or in small groups and were easily repelled. Not this time.
A huge group swam out of the Trench, acting almost like a panicked shoal and the mages, protected by the soldiers, started casting spells, blasting the enemy with a wave of water that dispersed the shoal.
Usually, the Trench would retreat after that, instead, the lone members attacked everyone involved with an unmatched frenzy.
Clenching his teeth, Aquaman smashed into the fighters, punching one so hard it was sent flying into a couple of others before grabbing another and smashing its head, causing it to pass out.
He didn't try to kill them, but he wasn't completely avoiding it either, not if it would risk his own men.
Quickly, the Trench was defeated, but none swam back into the depths. Suddenly, Aquaman heard an impact coming from the deep, a second shoal swimming up and immediately turning to flee, spreading to all directions.
"Pressure them!" He commanded, but didn't follow himself. He was here to check what was wrong, to solve the issue, not to contain it.
He almost swam into the opening himself, but his instincts kept him back, his eyes focused on the opening for a tense minute.
Out of nowhere, an arm grabbed the edge of the opening and then a… creature pulled itself out. At first, Orin thought it was some kind of monstrous and inflated Trench, but he soon saw it was only using Trench body parts as clothes.
"Awright! The Main Man has arrived!" The man shouted, his voice traveling underwater with a shockwave. "Bastich, those fishers were fun, but killing 'em did get old."
Lobo looked around and finally saw the single man watching him, wearing a ridiculous pansy ass orange shirt. He immediately dismissed the fruitcake and started swimming to the surface.
"Lobo!" Aquaman shouted, finally recognizing his white skin and magnificent hair. "You're under arrest. Surrender now and I won't have to fight you!"
Lobo didn't even spare him a glance, he briefly considered killing the fragging idiot, but he had his fair share of routine slaughter with them fishers and, while he'd never be satisfied, he could prioritize.
Suddenly, Lobo got punched in the face, the impact sending him back through the water until he could stabilize himself.
"Sheesh, what wuz that? A love tap?" Lobo shook his head and lifted an eyebrow at Aquaman with disdain. "Beat it, ya chump, I'm already late to th' party as it is!"
The damn nerve of those fish people, just cuz he wuz leaving th' lot of them alive.
Suddenly, he caught sight of the pansy creep swimming towards him, faster than even Blondie had managed t' do in air.
Heh, suck's to be ye, bastich. This dude wasn't a hot blond with a nice temper so The Main Man wasn't about to hold back. Dodging the first punch by leaning his head to the side, The Main Man hit the creep with his massive fist, arresting all his momentum.
For a single second, Aquaman's eyes widened at the force of it and then he flew straight down, batted aside with so much strength he created a crater on the ocean floor before being buried six feet under the ground.
"Wuss," Lobo shook his head sadly, before turning and starting to swim back up. "I swear, some folks just ain't got enough common sense."
Behind him, the ocean floor exploded, the water being displaced faster than the speed of sound as Aquaman slammed into him, punching him three times in the kidney.
Lobo tried to elbow him, but the King ducked the blow and delivered an uppercut that sent one of his teeth flying, knee'd him in the stomach and then delivered a hammer blow to the back of his head.
Smashing into the floor and almost causing a quake, the Main Man flipped himself and spread his arms.
"Awright, tuna-fer-brains, that was slightly better," Putting a hand on his nose, he blew a wad of blood out, watching it drifting away in the water. "Ain't Ya a member of that fragging Juiced League or sumthing? Well, pucker up, ya pansy fish smelling bastich, The Main Man's coming for ya!"
Jumping from the ground, The Main Man sent himself straight at Aquaman, but the King was far too agile a swimmer, weaving away with an almost lazy movement before punching out at Lobo's head.
Lobo caught it, pulling the Atlantean closer and head-butting him. Aquaman struggled to free himself, punching out, but Lobo caught that too and put both arms into a joint lock, straining the King's bones and causing his back to bend from pain.
Suddenly, a giant shark rammed Lobo from the side, freeing Aquaman as some of his men returned and tried to engage the Czarnian.
"No! Don't!" Aquaman shouted, having felt his enemy's strength.
It didn't help. Swinging the giant shark around, Lobo sent it flying down before backhanding an attacking soldier and breaking every bone in his body.
One of the mages tried to send a spell his way, but Lobo actually punched out the ice javelin before punching a hole through another soldier's belly, grabbing his weapon and throwing it towards the mage, sending her away with the momentum.
Ocean creatures swarmed the bounty hunter, acting under Aquaman's control and doing their best to hurt, or at least inconvenience the man. None of it was helping.
The Main Man caught a fourth Atlantean by the throat and was about to crush it when Aquaman finally got within striking distance. He had grabbed a sword from one of his fallen guards and sliced off Lobo's arm before trying to skewer his heart.
Reacting blindingly fast, Lobo twisted away, leaving the sword buried in his chest and kneeing Aquaman in the side, grabbing his arm as he started to fly away and using his body as a shield to block a few shots from the remaining soldiers.
Aquaman screamed in pain, the hit from the weapons damaging his armor, but he recovered fast, putting a shoulder against Lobo's chest and swimming towards the wall, attempting to smash the Czarnian as hard as he could.
Unfortunately, even with one arm, Lobo was a better grappler than the King and managed to swing him around. Aquaman wasn't able to stop his momentum in time, hitting the underwater mountain face first and losing his concentration, and his hold on Lobo.
Grabbing the fragging Fishdude by the back of the head, the Main Man smashed his face against the rock repeatedly until he felt the bastich starting to lose strength. Releasing his head, Lobo let him start to float down a bit before grabbing him by the left arm and keeping the hero between him and the rest of the soldiers.
"Y'know, I'm starting t' think yer underestimating me. Was it cuz I waz playing with Blondie earlier?" The Main Man shook the King by his arm, causing the rest of the soldiers to pause. "What's wrong? Cat got yer tongue? Ya did know I gave her, like, a dozen free shots?"
Looking down at his already regenerating arm, Lobo frowned when he noticed it was taking far too much time. How fragging annoying.
Lifting the hero up by his arm, Lobo opened his mouth wide and actually bit off Aquaman's left hand, spitting it out to the side and causing the Hero to scream out in pain. "There, new we're even. Can't say yer' got a fair fight though, need a couple dozen more people fer that."
The pain snapped Aquaman out of his daze, his handless arm slipped out from Lobo's grip and he twisted, kicking out with both feet and propelling himself away from the man, clutching his arm to his chest.
"Off!" Lobo grunted, slamming into the wall, only to be bombarded with shots and spells as every Atlantean there unloaded on him once he was no longer holding their King.
Wrapping some cloth around his stump, Aquaman shouted. "Give me a weapon!"
"My King?"
"He's not dead! Call the rest of the League!" Aquaman quickly ordered, grabbing a trident from one of his soldiers. "… You, go warn Mera, I'll hold him back."
Suddenly, a huge boulder flew from where Lobo had been, scattering the Atlanteans and almost killing two of them. A second boulder came flying right after the first one, but Aquaman smashed into it, breaking it apart with a swing of his weapon.
From the destroyed rubble, Lobo came swimming at him, the sword still sticking out of his chest as the Czarnian didn't pay it any attention. Aquaman attacked, using everything he had to try and kill the monster.
Lobo only laughed, barely dodging the tip of the trident as it left a wide scratch at his face. Aquaman was a trained warrior with years of battle experience under his belt. He was incredibly skilled with a weapon and, under water, could give Superman a challenging fight.
Lobo wasn't Superman. He was worse. Superman would only try to disable him but, with Lobo, every blow was aimed to take Aquaman's life and he fought with vastly more skill than his actions suggested. Aquaman truly believed the man had been playing around before, because now… now Aquaman had to struggle just to last a second more.
His trident bit into the man, cut gashes in his chest and, once, even his neck, but Lobo just ignored it all, taking the hits as if they didn't matter and ignoring the resulting blood loss without losing strength.
Aquaman was exhausted, he was in pain from a missing hand and, worse, he could see Lobo's missing arm was nearly regenerated. He really doubted he'd get a second free shot at cutting off a limb in this fight so that advantage was effectively gone.
The surrounding animals and soldiers were doing less than nothing to the Czarnian; Lobo just ignored them or sent a few devastating attacks their way once they got too annoying.
Suddenly, his trident pierced one of Lobo's lungs but, before he could pull back, the monster put a hand on the shaft and pushed it further inside his body. Aquaman hesitated for less than a second before releasing the weapon, but that was enough.
"Got ya," The Main Man said, grabbing Aquaman's shoulder and pulling him closer. "Ya know, I don't usually do a fella for free, but I'm thinking I'ma make an exception… ah, who'm I kidding? I do a lot of fellas fer free when they annoy me!"
Finally having regenerated his arm, Lobo pulled out the sword on his chest and slowly pointed it to Aquaman's chest, starting to press it against his armor. Before he could kill him, however, Lobo had to release the orange-boy and duck as a monstrous fish almost bit off his head, the creature also almost killed Aquaman, but it was a risk the Atlantean was willing to take to avoid losing his heart.
Lobo really didn't want to have to re-grow a body all over again.
Moving through the water, Lobo cut a shark in half and then was smacked by the tail of a giant, monstrous blue whale, getting smashed nearly half a kilometer back. Kicking against the waves, Lobo swam back, weaving between several fishes and punching the whale away while ignoring the Atlanteans shooting at him.
Just as he was about to reach the exhausted hero, he saw Aquaman swimming away, helped by a pair of Dolphins. Widening his eyes, the Main Man paused and took a moment to look around.
There were several Dolphins around him, of all sizes and shapes, all of them staring at him with judging gazes and preparing to attack him, even when they had no chance.
"Im-Fragging-possible!" Lobo released the sword and used both hands to scratch at his eyes, but the image didn't change. "Why didn't ya say ya loved them fishies too? The Main Man can't fragg a fellow man of culture!"
Pausing in his retreat, Aquaman actually did a double take, seeing Lobo actually lifting his hands up. "What?"
"Yeah, I was, like, gonna turn ya into meat, but now I kinda feel bad about the arm, bastich. I'm gonna have ta' be civil now," scratching at his beard in embarrassment, Lobo shook his head and re-started swimming for the surface. "Y'know what, cheezhead, I'm outta here!"
Wounded, still bleeding and knowing that his soldiers couldn't do much against the bounty hunter, Aquaman actually lifted a hand and ordered them to stop. He could only hope the rest of the Justice League arrived soon; otherwise, he'd be forced to watch the Czarnian leave.
Looking at his helpers, the King actually couldn't believe what had happened… did-did he just get saved because of… Dolphins?
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The Main Man lowered his scope and thought about the situation, he didn't usually let targets escape after he found them, but, well, he did have a more pressing problem right now, like making sure no bastich clone was still running around, those fragging lizards could wait.
It had been easy enough to find the girlie, what with those hero simps flying in and out of the place from time to time, but he wanted to do things personally. Blondie was fun like that.
In truth, he could brew some kinda virus or sumthing to kill Blondie, and her little bro-cuz-whatever too but, after eliminating his own species, he had always found such things unsatisfying. Really, he kinda regretted killing his race with that virus, it had been far too easy. Kinda took th' fun outta the whole thing. He should have fragged them all personally, made a game of it.
Besides, the Main Man was many things, but he ain't a cockblocker. Let Blondie have her fun, heck, maybe he could get a threesome out of it?
Bastich, the last time he had been with more than one girl was when he dated Triplicate Girl when he was sent to the future, it would be a tragic fraggin' waste to turn Blondie into meat right now.
Jumping out of the building, Lobo fell heavily on the street. His 'acquired' boots managing to survive the fall, adjusting his 'new' jacket, he found the correct bar and kicked his way inside.
"Awright, ya dweebs! The Main Man is here!" he pushed some chump out of the way and dropped heavily on the bar stool, grabbing the guy behind the counter, he said. "Yo, Barkeep, get me a bottle!"
Breaking the cap on the presented bottle with a thumb, Lobo poured the drink directly into his mouth and wiped it with his arm, releasing a deep sigh. People quickly started giving him a wide berth, but Lobo couldn't help lifting an eyebrow at the amount of weapons they were sporting.
"Heh, seems like this city ain't as boring as I first thought, ain't life just wonderful sometimes?" Finishing the bottle in his second drink, he let it drop to the ground. "Awright, what ya got for me?"
"Please, sir, over here," A man said, causing a wall filled with bottles to swing open and reveal a hidden room. "We have a fine selection for your pleasure, compliments from Intergang. If you wish for anything specific, we could arrange that too."
"Spare me th' bull! Obviously, yer got some secret agenda or sumthing. Well, 's no skin off th' Main Man's snout! Just get me the guns!"
Entering the room, Lobo was led further down a set of stairs to reveal a reinforced hidey hole, filled with weapons. Most were the usual Earth crap, some packed a little extra punch, but Lobo had to smile when he hit the jackpot. There were a few pieces of Apokolips gear here.
"Well, ain't that sumthing?" Lobo caressed a giant gun pulsing with red light, "Y'know, I'm starting to like my chances. I just bet this gonna feel real weird! Ain't many guys get ta' kill themselves an' still stay alive ta boast about it! 's gonna be a blast!"
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Naked as the day he was born, Lobo finally entered the little town in the middle of nowhere. Looking up at a lamp post, he saw several corpses of men and women impaled on top of them, their bodies twisted around the pole as if they were boneless.
"Huh, what a nice welcome for the Main Man," Lobo commented, looking at the bodies until he found a fat fella with a mostly intact pair of pants.
Jumping up, he grabbed the meat and pulled it out of the pole before stealing it's pants for himself, the pair didn't fit him perfectly, but walking around naked got old after a while.
In a great mood, the Main Man entered the little town whistling, enjoying the sights of carnage and destruction all around him. It really warmed his cold heart to see such evil.
Or maybe that was just the bonfire.
"Hmmm, I didn't think I missed anyone?" Said a cold voice as an entirely white man dropped from the sky in front of him, his back straight and wearing a white overcoat with a small cape.
Lobo gave a 4/10 to the entrance, but the reception was almost an 8. "Ah, nothin' like the smell of burning meat fer giving the Main Man a good mood," Lobo said, putting his arms at his waist and taking a big whiff of the giant pile of corpses burning in the center of the city. "And ya didn't miss anything; I just arrived from outta town."
"Very well," the albino nodded, crossing his arms in front of his chest and putting a hand on his chin in thought as he looked at Lobo. "Say, what do you think about my art? Such memorable deaths, isn't it beautiful?"
"Hey, I like yer attitude m'man! The Main Man is all about th' killing," Lobo turned to enjoy the destruction. "Though I never really cared about the presentation part, just turn the chumps into meat and be done with it."
"No, no, that would be so boring," The man shook his head. Extending his hand, he used telekinesis to obliterate the small houses around the burning pile before using the broken wood to feed the fire. "Death must be memorable, it must be Epic! With care given to style if it is to mean anything! To just… die without reason and in such a boring way, something people would forget in a day or two, that would be such a waste. Death is art, my friend!"
"So, ya don't just frag the losers then?" Lobo wondered, watching as the bodies burned away, leaving only the bones. "Y'know, I'm not gonna say killing is boring, but it has been growing a little stale lately. Ain't many guys capable of putting up a nice fight, Y'know? Maybe I'll try yer way once or twice."
"And to think I was just considering how your death could be a masterpiece, but now you've got me curious, and it is rare to find someone that appreciates my work," the white man said, turning back and using his power to pull a skull out of the pile before it burned completely. "I'm called Blanque and I'll be looking forward to hearing about your work."
"Name's Lobo," the Czarnian nodded, watching as more and more skulls floated out of the pile, clean of flesh. "Say, ya know where I can find the vilest city on this planet?"
"That would probably be Gotham City, it's that way," Blanque pointed, causing Lobo to turn that way. "May I ask why?"
"First rule of hunting, make your prey come to you," Lobo explained, looking around to see if he couldn't find some booze and a better change of clothes. "That's probably where I'll be going, eventually, so I gotta get there first. Ya mind if I look around a little before leaving?"
"No, go ahead, look around and appreciate my art a little before going."
Whistling still, Lobo left the bonfire and started looking inside the damaged houses for some better fitting clothes, it was always nice to meet such a nice fella.
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In a jungle in Africa, a large Czarnian wearing some leaves tied into clothes fell to the jungle floor, causing a small tremor all around him. Patting his leaves into place, he looked around. "Feetal's Giz! Not a piece of cloth or a bottle of booze in sight! Where the frag am I?"
From behind him, he immediately heard the sound of an alarm and smiled. Where there was an alarm, there were also bastiches he could steal from, or at least get some direction.
Instead of jumping again, Lobo started walking towards the noise. From the jungle floor, a large gun was lifted, starting to rotate and shooting him with bullets, they bounced off his muscles, but they actually hurt! "Mine!"
Rushing the gun, he endured the shots and kicked at its base, causing the metal support to break and allowing him to grab the weapon. From both sides, four other turrets lifted and immediately started shooting.
With a maniacal laugh, Lobo turned his new gun at them, pelting them with a wave of metal. "AHHHHHH! The sound of gunfire, how I missed ya! KILLRENDDESTROYFRAG!"
In his defense, Lobo hadn't killed anything interesting in a long time, first having to wait until he regenerated and then being lost in the jungle. He really needed some stress relief.
Finding another intact gun, he ripped it out of its support and stole the remaining munitions, carrying each machine-gun in one hand. From further where the siren was, Lobo heard a troop of gorillas screaming as they made their way towards him.
Pointing with both weapons, he started laughing. "FRAG! FRAG! FRAG! FRAAAAAAAG!" He unloaded, the bullets cutting through the tree's, and the incoming gorillas like a hot knife through butter, painting the jungle red with their splashed blood.
The creatures were incredibly powerful, tanking several shots, and a few even reached him, their muscles bulging and filled with wounds, gashes of red muscle breaking out from under their fur. Dropping the empty guns, Lobo got ready to receive them. "YEAH, come at me, my fragging fur coats!"
The Apes hit with surprising strength, but The Main Man was on another level. Bastich, the fur coats were fun to hit, and could take a beating… in the sense that they survived more than one punch.
For a second, Lobo thought about skinning the creatures, but he decided that it probably wasn't worth it. There was a building right in front of him. The bastiches would have booze and a way out of here, pants would be nice too.
Seeing a gorilla wearing a cap in front of the building and holding a large gun, Lobo frowned. Did that mean he just killed sentient gorillas? He hated fragging… Well, no, he didn't hate fragging random people, he just really liked to be paid for it first.
Stepping away from the tree line, Lobo saw four poles lifting from the ground in a wide area around him and then he felt the attack, electricity running through his body.
"AAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH!" Lobo screamed, his fingers curling into claws as he held his head and fell to his knees.
With an air of superiority, the gorilla stepped closer, a box on his chest releasing a robotic voice. "Mallah, bring me my new test subject. He has cost me a lot of troops already," the gorilla grunted, pulling out a grenade from his belt.
Lobo curled down, his forehead almost hitting the ground. "ARGHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Just kidding!" Suddenly, he looked up, the electricity still running on his body, but only causing him pain. Jumping ahead, Lobo used a hand to grab the grenade, and the other to squeeze the ape's neck. "Fer shame, can't believe ya fell fer it! Real disappointing, now, ya got exactly one minute to lead me inside and provide me with what I want… or I'll squeeze yer fragile little neck."
"Perhaps I could be of help?" Said an elegant male voice from his side, causing Lobo to force the Ape to his knees and glance at the newcomer.
The bastich was a tall human with blonde hair; he wore a white costume like those Justice Simps, and had a large green cape at his back. "I'm here to offer you a deal, Lobo, a very… profitable deal."
"I already got a contract in place, but ya can call me later… just gotta deal with a clone problem first," Lobo said, dismissing the spandex junkie from his mind.
"You 'Will' need my help with that, all it would take is your soul," Neron said, his smile widening a little. "Together, we could spread chaos. My influence would bring such darkness to the world, you could run rampant to your heart's content, all for such a small price."
"Cool, only got a problem, the Main Man don't need no help with that kinda shit. Say, Clyde, ya look like a Clyde, I'ma call ya Clyde," Lobo said, accidentally squeezing the ape's neck too hard and breaking it. With a shrug, he dropped the beast. "Well, Clyde, fact is, the Main Man never got to play with a soul so, how bout it? Fair exchange an' all that guff, my soul for yours?"
"I… do not have a soul," Neron said, a little taken aback by the Czarnian.
"Then frigging fragg off, you blonde-haired evil bastich, I ain't got time for ya! I got people to murder, clones ta hunt an' all that," turning his back to the demon, Lobo turned back towards the building, then he heard the roar of a motorcycle. "Aw, bastich."
"I did say you'd need my help, such a pity." Neron shook his head and disappeared.
Suddenly, Lobo's head exploded, quickly followed by the rest of his body. After that, a missile hit what remained and blew it up, spreading the pieces all over the clearing.
Parking his motorcycle in the air, Lobo dropped to the ground, his heavy boots sinking into the jungle floor, a large cigar in his mouth. Looking around, The Main Man lifted his arms and pulled out a flamethrower. "Huh, could'a sweared I heard someone else here? Frag it. Let's get this over with quickly. Gotta go back to Gotham soon."
Using his cigar, Lobo ignited the weapon and started burning everything in sight, reducing the entire jungle to ashes.
A few meters away from there, in a prison cell under the building, Neron stood with his arms crossed, a magical window floating in the air in front of an emaciated gorilla in chains and showing the result of the fight.
"There is still time you know," Neron said with an even voice. "Your mate is already dead, but your son wasn't on the alien's path. Brain is already preparing to flee the facility, do you think he'll leave anyone alive when he does?"
"What… huff… is your price?" Grodd asked, his bulging muscles struggling against the chains to no result. He was starving, he was dehydrated and he was in pain.
Perhaps he would have died with his mate had he not tried to organize a coup, seeing Brain's retreat from his other base and The Light's distraction as a chance to fight off his enslaver. He had failed, and he had paid for it.
"Why, my price remains the same. Your soul in exchange for the power necessary to escape," Neron said, collapsing the magical window. "Is it too much to pay?"
"Another… huff… chain at my feet," The gorilla said, feeling the Kobra-Venom running through his veins. Sometimes, Grodd wished Brain hadn't ever increased his intelligence, that he had remained a simple beast, but those times were rare, no, what he really wanted was revenge.
"Perhaps, but it would be a loose one and, really, would it be too high a price for the chance of freeing your son? If you are fast enough, that is," Neron shrugged, his cape waving at his back as he extended a hand towards the ape.
"I… accept."
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Floating in space, millions of miles away from Earth, Lobo moved. His body was completely naked and his arms crossed in front of his chest in boredom. He had tried to rip out one of his limbs and throw it away to change his direction, but he couldn't get much speed that way.
At least he wasn't creating new clones. He could choose from which part of his body to regenerate when he concentrated on it, it was when he was in the middle of a fight that problems could happen.
So he floated there, slowly moving in Mars's direction. Even from where he was, it was still likely to take him a few months to get there. Months without booze, without death, without even a tiny little fight… Lobo was in hell.
At this point, he sincerely hoped one of his clones would pass by and blow his own head off, it would be better than this bastich boredom!
"Excuse me, sir Lobo; have you heard the word of our lord and savior, the Triple Fish-God?" A gentle voice said in his mind, Lobo was just about to try and kill the damn bastich trying to preach to him when he saw it.
"Awwww, ain't ya just the purest thing? Come 'ere li'l buddie, what's yer name?" Lobo said, gently lifting his hand towards the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, those wet, black eyes, that cute nose. It was the greatest space dolphin he had ever seen.
"I am the envoy of the Triple Fish-God," The dolphin said in his mind, floating closer to Lobo and letting the bounty hunter touch his sleek body. "Our lord and savior has a mission for you, Lobo. Do you accept?"
"I do."
That said, Lobo put a hand on Fishy's fin, he was gonna call him Fishy, and they swam away through the stars to start Lobo's new life as a member of the greatest cult in the galaxy.
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