Chapter 1: Prologue.
Genshin Impact Fanfic.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Genshin Impact characters. Only the plot of this fanfic. Genshin Impact characters and original storyline belongs to Mihoyo.
I feel like I'm losing hope, in my body and my soul. The cage doesn't open for itself, please come and save me.
***
Tomiko's Perspective.
Death.
Death is the only way for me to get away from my reality. I tried so many ways to end my life yet I'm still here standing and writing as of now. I want to die not because I want to, I want to die because the world doesn't appreciate my worth.
Since the day I was born, people have often laughed at my face. Not because I have an ugly face or a dark complexion, but because I was born differently. Having an Anorexia Nervosa, a condition that causes weight loss, and at times, the inability to gain weight entirely made my life hell. People around me think this kind of condition is rare and contagious, despite the fact that it is not.
"Are you even eating?" They frequently ask, "Why are you so thin? Hahaha!" and insult me.
Fails to consider the emotional impact they cause every time they ask that same old question.
Perhaps it isn't a big deal for other people. They don't realize how difficult it is to be bullied and to be laughed at, even dismissing it as a joke.
Who would want to be called a "Fetus or a Barred Rail" in the middle school where everyone can hear? No one likes that. Regardless of how difficult it is to conceal myself. I've tried not to attract any attention, but eventually, they all see me in the end.
Many say middle school will be the most memorable memory you'll have as a teen, but it was a total wrecking hell for me. I just want to disappear; all I want is to die. Thus, it is not easy for me to do so, which is why I persevered until I graduated from that hellish place.
"Sayonara Bitches!"
People naturally attend college after graduating from high school. However, I am unique in my own right. I began working. In my early age, underage is not qualified to work because they need to study. Yeah right. I had to change the age of my application because technically, they don't hire underage workers.
First, I got a job as a watcher at a computer cafe. I'm not sure if that is the exact call for my position, but I'm the one who keeps an eye on the bastard troublemaker customers. If you don't keep a close eye on a single one of them, they'll start fighting like a cock who's been spanked by their parents. I don't understand why they have to fight over a game at that time. They referred to it as Trash talking that leads to serious matters.
There was this once when two parties commenced a riot.
"What? You're a wimp! You can't even get close to my character! Ahaha!"
"Shut the f*** up! You've been running like a cowardly horse from the start!"
"Guys! Stop fighting!" <-obviously, this is me.
I chimed in the middle but ended up getting punched in the face instead. For that reason, I was forced to leave that ridiculous job.
My second job was as a grocery store salesperson. My family is pressuring me to take the job despite the low pay. I was still underage at the time. But, alas, it doesn't appear that I have any other options. For that, I began working in that place. My co-workers were not females, but this was not the whole case. Since the bullying incident, I've been wary of working with the opposite gender. I was afraid they'd start treating me like I'd been treated in high school.
Despite this, I need this job to stop my parents from complaining about how useless I was. It's difficult to believe that your parents, whom you've loved and cared for, will regard you as a bother because you don't have money to give them.
"Yeah, you're right, bitch. You are their source of income."
That's why I frequently believe that my mother only gave birth to me because she needs someone to give her money.
So far, my second job was going well, not until a freaking rat ruined it all.
I discovered a rat in one of the products. I don't want to freak out, but I freaking touched the rat. I was in the middle of my work and couldn't stop myself from yelling, "Rat! Aaaahhh!! "Imagine how loud I was that day, and the customers surely heard me clearly.
Unfortunately, I was fired because of the scumbag rat. There are so many trials and errors in life, but I was so exhausted that I began to consider death. The worst thing that happened to me after I lost my job was that my mother started throwing things at me. It makes no difference whether it was a chair or a knife. She started blaming everything on me.
Because of me, our lives were tumultuous.
"You're useless," she frequently tells me. "A worthless individual who did nothing to help this family. You weren't supposed to be born in the first place."
Every time I hear that from her, I can't help but wonder if it was entirely my fault. I didn't want to be born from her in the first place. Even so, I don't mind that she thinks of me as completely useless. It just hurts me when I do everything for her and she doesn't appreciate it in the end.
My third job is in a cellphone manufacturing plant. It was a Japanese manufacturer that assembles cellphone components. I was eighteen years old at the time. I spent exactly one year at that company. My job there was to entail detecting faulty RGB frames on the cellphone screen. Overtime is always available for every day of my work.
Every time I give my mother money, she begins to see me as a human again. She doesn't gamble, but she spends all of the money she receives from me on her own family. I have two siblings in total and one step-father. Actually, I never got a chance to meet my real father, and I believe he no longer cares about me.
I thought I could do that job indefinitely, but my vision began to blur and the colours began to fade. Because RGB is my main speciality, I had to stop. I couldn't see the colours properly. I mixed red and orange, and blue and purple.
My mother began to brush me aside once more. She makes fun of me and even insults my entire life. My grandmother was the only person I could lean on at that time. I ran away from home and sought the care of my grandmother. She was so loving and caring, but grandmother had poor health. Her health was failing, and she had been living alone for a long time. I should have come here a long time ago.
I offered to support her by obtaining another job at a well-known fast-food corporation. McRonalds. I was accepted despite the fact that my vision was in poor condition. I joined the kitchen crew. Except for one person, everyone was very nice to me.
His name was Michael.
He always notices me whenever I make a minor error. He was the full reason my job had turned into a living hell. There's this one time when I'm the one who has to cook fried chicken, and because I'm on the morning shift, I had to move swiftly since it'll be only a matter of time before the stores open.
I went to the large refrigerator to get the chicken I needed, defrost it, and am about to fry it. It was a simple task that I had to complete, but when Michael arrived at the store, he started complaining about how I hadn't done my job properly.
"Just quit if you can't do your job properly!"
He is also a crew member like me, the only difference is he worked in that place for a long time and I'm obviously a newbie. But I promise I will do my best at this job. As if he was tracing my mistake, I feel like he wants me to get kicked out.
From the way he mocks me, he acts like a superior one. My eyes began to well up with tears. Because of the way he speaks, my heart is also shattered. He was so entitled like a Male Karen.
So, rather than carefully placing the chicken in the hot oil. I accidentally dropped it with a thud, which caused the oil to splatter directly on my neck and skin.
"Tomiko! " My worried partner exclaimed, but Michael's words were more piercing that I couldn't even feel the pain from the oil.
I stopped coming to work after that day. I've given up because no matter how hard I try to be good enough, people will never understand you.
My grandmother died four years later. I was abandoned; my mother wants me back not because she is concerned that I will be alone, but because someone needs to look after my siblings. But I never agreed, and I declined her offer. As a result, she left me with the words that I commonly hear from her.
I lived in my grandmother's house by myself. I can feel how worried she was for me until the end with a little savings she got for me. I began writing stories on platforms such as XXXXpad. Though I've always enjoyed telling stories and creating my own world, no one has ever listened to my silly stories. Nobody has time for it, and no one is interested in it.
"But who cares if no one reads my story this time? I will write for myself, not for others."
I fantasized about writing a vampire story, so I wrote 'my guardian is a vampire,' but as I predicted, no one reads it. Still, I have written all of the ridiculous things I want to write. Everything that is impossible has been told and miraculously turned into a possibility.
However, it's as if the rest of the world despises me. I became ill and later discovered that I have a Ventricular septal defect. It was a heart birth defect in which there is a hole in the wall (septum) that separates the heart's two lower chambers (ventricles).
I never expected to have this since I was young; I had a medical checkup before, but because they don't focus on the heart, I didn't find it sooner. Although it seemed strange that if I had a disease, I shouldn't have allowed myself to be exhausted. It was completely the opposite, but it only triggers now.
I'm willing to give up everything. My breathing, too. I don't want surgeries because they'll be expensive, but every month or if there's something wrong with it, I had to go to the hospital to have it checked out.
At the time, I had stopped writing again, but there was this person who emailed me: "Hello! I read your story, and I'd like to invite you to participate in our platform. I'm from XXXnovel, and we're currently looking for a writer like you! You have the potential to earn $100,000 USD, blah blah blah."
I've believed that now is my time to shine. I was eager to write and write, trying to forget my tragic past. I've made money through that platform. It felt great to know that I could earn money doing things I was passionate about right from the start.
It saved me from a lot of pain. My mother, on the other hand, paid me a visit on one hot summer day. Perhaps she was wondering how I was still alive after all; I don't have a job. When she found out, she begged me to help her in repaying her debt and even to assist my siblings with their school fees.
However, my total revenue from the novel is $200 per month. But even so, I couldn't let her down. I know I'm a moron for acting this way, however, it wasn't in my nature to abandon my family after all.
Every time I get paid, I give $150, and the rest is mine. For the sake of my food and medicine. But then she told me that it wasn't enough and that I needed to give her more money. I want to confront her, but...I can't because I'm stupid.
Because of this matter, I discovered Genshin Impact. A role-playing game that Mihoyo created. I had to stop writing once in a while because I had started playing this game…Hehe. The game became my way of escaping reality, to be honest.
Paimon was extremely chatty and friendly. Lumine was so cool, compared to me, who is a total loser.
I somehow ceased myself from sleeping properly and only playing genshin impact night and day. I became addicted to it knowing that it was beneficial for my mental state right now. I want to get away from my current situation.
I want to vanish.
"If God exists at all. Could you please allow me to rest? I know I have complications but can you hurry and take me already?" As I lay down to sleep, I prayed. I'm overwhelmed because I haven't slept for three days. I didn't close the application so I could hear my husbando's voice. Xiao.
"Can you come to visit me in my dreams tonight, Xiao?"
"Because I'm lonely and would like someone to accompany me."
Will you answer "You called?" if I speak your name, "Xiao…"
I want to see you.
***
Gasped. Panting. Sweating enormously.
I jerked as I opened my eyes. As I scan the room with my two eyes, I am greeted by a refreshing breeze.
"Unfamiliar." I noticed a silver chandelier hanging from the ceiling. "Since when did I have such a large chandelier?"
Not only that, but the construction of this room is rather archaic. I sat in bed, noticing the clothes I was wearing.
I groaned a little bit, "Ugh… Is this a dream?"
"I stated that I wanted to see Xiao if I remember correctly, but why bring me in this kind of setting? " I grumbled to myself.
The ornaments are also a little worn, but the blanket was soft. I smelled it, and it had a pleasant scent.
"Hmm... What a pleasant dream. It's time for me to wake up," I said as I lay down again and closed my eyes. By doing this I'll sleep again in my dream, obviously, I'll wake up in reality once more. I don't want to slap myself as well they commonly do in movies. Hurting myself won't be good, y'know?
I'm trying to sleep, but I overheard people on the other side of the room talking.
"Eh? Is she in good health?"
"Yes. Master Diluc saved her from drowning. She should be fine now."
"Hm. Is she awake or still asleep?"
"We haven't checked in with her yet. Sir Kaeya, would you like to pay her a visit? "
My eyes widened in response to what I'd just heard.
"W-what the...?!?"
I peered through the creaking open door. When I did, I noticed a man with a dark complexion entering the room, he stood not too close as he lingers his eyes from the surrounding.
"It seems she hasn't opened her eyes yet."
The way he speaks was so familiar to me. It sounds like his voice is from the game.
"Ah! I'm dreaming."
"Hm? A dream? I see that you have finally awoken."
"Eh? No!"
I didn't think that I said that out loud.
"Good morning, little kitten."
Thud, WHAT?!
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Fuhuaxi
Fuhuaxi Please support my original work entitled "Euthenasia no Euphoria."
Oh shoot. I don't have friendship with Kaeya yet. This'll take a little while. Thank you for collecting the story in advance and a little donation will be huge help for buying my medicines. Ooff, see ya next chapter!
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