Chapter 3: H O P E
BELLONA
stepping into the house I brushed the snow flakes off my coat making them fall onto my wooden floor. I took off my woollen hat, standing in front of the mirror I could see my slightly pink nose, the dark circles under my eyes, the same pale skin. I could see the flakes of snow fall from the sky, covering everything in its white blanket. There was this cold breeze that brought goosebumps up your skin and you could see your breath every time you breathed out.
Walking towards the kitchen sink I turned the faucet on and splashed the warm water onto my face, the warm ness of it brought relaxation, making the exhaustion drift away. Placing the grocery bags I shoved the garbage into the dustbin and stood their for several minutes thinking what to eat. I could hear my stomach grumble giving me the reminder that I was starving. My small footsteps echoed in the silence, shoes tapping as I moved here and there making the old wooden floor creak.
it was a very cold evening when both me and mom walked with our wellies in the snow, the crumpling snow crushed beneath our feet as we walked side side, the clouds had scattered all over the blue sky. I kept walking until a ball of snow smashed into my face followed by a evil laugh. I brushed the snow off my face and saw mom standing there with snow balls in her hand grinning widely at me.
‘Such a child.’ I snorted but was hit with another one. Defending myself I scoped myself behind a car, making a huge one I threw It directly at her making her exclaim.
‘Bell! You are not escaping today.’
Her voice echoed in my years, the scene of the fresh memory flashed through my eyes making me smile, I missed her. Her touch still lingers, the warm smile still plays in my mind. I distracted myself by glancing out the window, how weird it is that just a glimpse of time changes everything. It either makes your World falls apart or make up your World.
The tiny graupels fell right in front of the kitchen window presenting a beautiful scene. I pushed some pasta in the hot boiling water, the great aroma of tomato sauce and meatballs made me groan, I wanted to just stuff it all in my mouth.
The silence was intruded by the sound of door bell, I frowned at the thought of, who would it be?
I walked towards the dark oak wooden as it banged loudly making me flinch, I looked through the peephole and a smile immediately captured my face. Opening the door a trembling Freddie stood with her arms wrapped around her chest, breathing heavily. Her hair and face were all dusted by snow. She barged in ignoring me and slammed the door behind.
And then engulfed me in a huge hug, squeezing the life out of me. I could feel the warmth in her cold arms, a friend, a sister. There was something so familiar, a feeling of relief, a feeling of home that took over me, I smiled truly for the first time. The brunette hair of hers brushed my cheeks as we stood in each other’s arms. Finally pulling out she ruffled my hair like a small kid. We bursted out laughing, our laughs echoing in the dark home becoming a melody to my years. I wanted it to never end.
‘What are you making?’ She spoke in her husky British accent pulling me into the kitchen. Squealing at the pasta in process she squeezed my cheeks in glee.
’I was craving this!’
I chuckled, we were still children.
There was this soothing aura around Freddie that I loved. She rattled abut her visit out of city eating pretzels in between while I nodded to everything. I pulled out the hot pasta from the pot dumping in into the sauce, I could hear Freddie sniff and then clap her hands in joy. we ate together, it had been a long time since I ate with anyone. The sound of our forks hitting the plate echoed as we stuffed the pasta in our mouth.
‘perfect cold evening, tell me bells what are you up to?’
‘Absolutely nothing.’ I snorted at the relatable sentence I just spoke.
‘well aren’t you going to the job?’ I glanced at her face, with furrowed eyebrows she looked at me with curiosity. As much as I wanted to dodge this question I couldn’t.
‘wait you didn’t?’ There was this disappointment in her voice as those words rolled out. I sighed shaking my head in negative. I could feel the burning glare that she was giving, burning holes inside me. I wished the ground would split in half swallowing me in.
‘I am tired of putting a smile in front of the World pretending everything is fine while I am breaking inside. I hate to see myself trying again, standing again but nothing seems to bring me to peace. There is always this guilt, it makes me feel terrible. I am a horrible person.’ My voice cracked, no matter how much I tried to escape from my dark past it always stood in front of me. Like a enormous rock preventing the frothy water to pass over it.
A hand gripped my shoulder squeezing it reminding me that this person was always here.
‘Bellona I know you are suffering. It’s been a rough time...I don’t know how to put it into words together, there are times in life where everything seems impossible but there is always a way to pick yourself up and let go of the things that keep pulling you back. I know it’s easy to say but there will be a time when you will jump out of this and I will be proud to see that.’
She smiled at me, wiping the few tears that escaped from my eyes. I gulped down the lump in my throat nodding my head. I wanted to bring myself at ease, I wanted to forget the memories that haunt me, after all this I still hoped, hoped for better. Because no matter what I always wanted to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel.
The spark in me wanted to break free.
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone