Rise of the Weakest Awakener: I Only Have Concept-Level Skills

Ten years ago, John and his parents were transported into a game world.
This young man, full of ambition to conquer the world, unfortunately awakened the weakest class—Furniture Maker.
But what troubled John most wasn’t his class.
Like most transmigrators, he had a system.
The only problem was—
This system kept granting him strange and absurd skills.
[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: Absolute Diarrhea Technique. Your basic attacks will cause opponents to suffer explosive diarrhea until complete exhaustion. Any creature without an anus is unworthy of being your enemy!]
[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: Mummification Wrapping Technique. Bandages crafted by you can heal all things!]
[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: You may steal and copy the abilities of anyone named John!]
[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a bonus concept-level skill: You may forcibly rename anyone to John!]
…
Years later, in the Divine Realm, a lone figure stood tall above the heavens.
As the sacred hymns echoed, he raised a finger—
And all the gods clenched their anuses in fear.