Chapter 129: Locking Herself in Her Room
Lucious could only watch as Estelia rush away. He might have imagined this scenario once or twice, but it didn't help him feel any better. No, it was worse than he had imagined. Was he too hasty about it?
Should he have done it differently? Why did he even do it so directly?
He didn't know what came to him, but he just expressed what he wanted, said what he wanted. How else should he have done it? Maybe he should have just been slower and gentler about it.
But…
This was the kind of scenario he didn't want, this was the kind of scenario Eleden warned him about, Estelia running away. And he had done the worst-case scenario. There was a chance that Estelia would be reluctant in talking with him now — no, that would definitely be the case.
He rubbed his hand to his fingers in regret.
Lucious watched as the knight named Rogan, and the maid Mera followed behind the retreating figure of the princess. But the old man, the king's assistant, Vernon, stayed behind and approached him.
"Mister Lucious."
"Vernon…" he forced a smile. "Maybe I overdid it."
"Mm, perhaps."
Lucious lowered his head.
"Did I make a mistake?"
"Knowing you and your charge, you must have anticipated something like this might happen."
"Yes… I think I blew it. And now…"
"I wouldn't say it's a mistake yet."
Lucious looked up at Vernon.
"The princess is a sensitive person, everyone knows that. And, expressing one's feelings is always the starting step. You would have likely gone through the same thing if you did it another way or in another time."
"But, I still couldn't stop feeling that I made a mistake."
"If you did not do what you did today, you might have regretted it tomorrow, or in the near future. I think this is a good step forward."
Lucious deeply hoped so. For a long time, he had carried these feelings, never expressing them at all. And they just burst out, failing to hold them back. On top of that, he was worried — her falling for another man.
"How, how do you think she will cope with this? How do you think she will take my words?"
He wanted an answer from Vernon who was old and had experienced a lot in his lifetime. And as the person who witnessed the children here in the palace grow up.
But, to Lucious's surprise, Vernon sighed.
"Even I do not know anymore."
Lucious was baffled.
"What do you mean?"
"My initial understanding and impression of the princess have distorted. I cannot tell for certain now what her thoughts would be. I cannot be of help."
"What? Why?"
Vernon shook his head.
"I can't say… a sensitive lady… but…"
"But?"
"I need to go and return to the princess's side. You only need to wait, Mister Lucious. Give her time."
"... I understand."
Lucious watched Vernon walk away, heading towards where the princess might have gone, before sighing sadly.
He made his way back to Eleden's office, and he collapsed on the nearest couch. Eleden narrowed his eyes seeing the weak-looking Lucious.
"What happened?"
"I think I messed up…"
Eleden dropped his work.
"Care to elaborate?"
"She…. she ran away."
Eleden looked down with a nod of his head.
"I thought we discussed keeping it slow."
"Yes… but… I may have been a bit impatient."
"After all the preparations. You got impatient…" Eleden sighed. "In any case, we can't jump to conclusions about how my sister took your words. The best we can do is wait and give her time. Approach her when the opportunity and clarity arises."
"Clarity for what?"
"Clarity for my sister. Let her assess her feelings."
Lucious understood what he was trying to say. But, he had already felt impatient and frightened about how the future might unfold. The longer time passes, the worse he would feel.
"What if she starts ignoring me from now on?"
"Then approach her, even if she avoids you, keep trying. If you give up with only just that, then your resolve and feelings are not that great then... She can't avoid you forever."
***
Vernon walked up the stairs, assuming that was where the princess was going. If he was right, if his impression of her still holds any value, she should be in her room. Completely avoiding human contact.
Vernon imagined a scenario like this would happen anytime soon if such a situation occurred with the princess, but he never expected it would be now. That being said, he imagined something else would happen, but his expectations that involved the princess had become uncertain. As he mentioned before, his impression of her had distorted that he didn't know how to anticipate her actions anymore.
She was once easy to predict.
It didn't take long for him to arrive at Princess Estelia's quarters. But outside, by the closed door, Rogan and Mera stood with worried expressions, and clueless at what they should do.
"Sir Vernon."
Mera called out to him.
"She closed herself?"
"Yeah."
Vernon sighed after hearing Rogan's answer. Now, he grew even more confused about the princess. She recently was cunning, and could even be described as brave. But for some reason, this caused her to retreat.
It was almost inconsistent with the new side he saw. That being said, there were people who are weak emotionally.
The princess had never in her life experienced intimate moments with any man. No, not only that, she had never experienced anything romantic at all, nor did that come into her mind as she grew up. Such a thing must have been too foreign for her.
And to be told by her friend since childhood must have come as a shock for her since such a notion never came into her mind. Even the cunning and brave have weaknesses.
So? Could the princess be emotionally and mentally weak, personally?
If so, this was an important thing to know about her.
"Could the prince's assistant had said something horrible to milady?"
Vernon noticed that Mera didn't even call Lucious by his name. Did she intentionally do that? Or perhaps she just didn't know how to address him perhaps. Likely the latter, even she wouldn't be that rude.
"His name is Lucious," Vernon said to her. "And no, he did not say anything mean. Rather, it was a sincere one."
"Hey Mera, weren't you there? You should have heard something about their conversation, right?"
"Um…" Mera lowered her head. "Yes, but I… I didn't hear all of it."
Rogan raised an eyebrow. Vernon also doubted a little, but perhaps she just didn't pay any attention.
Rogan then said.
"Basically, the first prince's assistant asked the princess out. Like on a date."
Mera averted her eyes away for some reason.
"I....I see…"
That was all she muttered. Vernon had noticed the same reaction from when Oryn and Allie were first discovered, Mera was flustered. It would appear she was soft when it comes to romantic events.
Vernon approached the door and knocked gently a few times.
"Princess, are you alright? You still have your studies and practice to attend to."
Vernon intended to use that reason as some sort of bait to compel the princess to go out. She had been diligent with her studies, so he hoped this would work.
"Leave me alone!"
However, it did not work at all.
"What now?" Rogan asked.
"We go on standby, we can't just leave her completely alone."
And so, the trio stood idle in front of the princess's room. Rogan was becoming bored, Vernon remained steadfast, while Mera was fidgety. There was no activity whatsoever that Vernon wondered what the princess was thinking all alone in her room.
Maybe she was asleep or spacing out. In any case, she was so used to being alone that she might be completely relaxing there.
A couple of hours later, the door to the princess's room gently creaked open. Everyone instantly gave attention and moved in front of it. The princess looked through the gap of the door, her dazzling pair of crimson eyes peered at them.
"V-Vernon…"
"Yes, princess? No, wait, are you alright? You ought to come out, your highness."
The princess merely furrowed her brows.
"Vernon… bring me a pile of clean sheets of paper."
Vernon was puzzled, he was sure there should be plenty of papers she could use after he brought her last time.
Ah…
He recalled when the princess had tons of crumpled pages littering her room.
She does use a lot of pages…
"I understand. But will you be coming out?"
Without any answer though, the princess closed the door.
"Wow, first time seeing her like that," Rogan said.
"I'll carry out her request. Be on the lookout in case she goes out. She still needs to have lunch shortly."
So Vernon brought the princess clean sheets of paper, which she accepted quietly and locked herself in again. After that, when it was time for lunch, Vernon knocked on the door to remind her, and she thankfully left the room.
Vernon had no idea what happened to the dining room after that since he had lunch with his co-servants.
But after lunch, the princess again sealed herself inside her room.
Now this reminds me of how the princess usually acts.
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