Chapter 30: The "I'm Sorry" Message
It's been 4 days since Kenji and I talked... I hope he isn't too stressed out.... well if he is. I hope my note to him tonight will make him feel better. I know I wanted to tell him in person that I love him... but if he's busy a message should be ok. :) But, time for school.
I was sitting in English Class taking notes on my laptop, when an icon appeared on my screen... It was Kenji's icon. He sent me a message. Excited, cause I've missed him so much.. I quickly opened the message to see what it said.
Hey Ori, the message started.
I think we should just be friends... In all honesty, I came to LillyVill New Year Festival because I was going to meet a girl there. The girl's name was Grace... The one that we saw when you and Carina joined Scotty and I for breakfast that one day. I came there to ask her out and hang out with her. But during the new year festivals she lied to me that she was going to be busy the whole event. I later found out that truth that she was already with someone else. I saw them together at the night party. So the next day when I went with her, I broke it off. She said she was lonely and I lived too far along with the fact that she's not ready for a relationship... Just like what you said. You also told me you weren't ready for a relationship because of your schooling... Like really?? Do you know how it feels to have been single all my life? I really did like you, but I cannot wait for you Oriana. It's not your fault. I understand that you're focused. But I cannot wait. So, the other day I went to hang out with my friends and I found a girl that likes me and I like her. I am going to date her now. So, don't wait for me because I'm moving on. I'm sorry it turned out this way. I'm sorry for telling you I will wait when I couldn't. I'm sorry I can't be with you. I'm sorry for ignoring you these past few days. I'm sorry to make you upset before. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I can't keep my promises I've made to you in the past. I hope we can still be friends. I hope you'll find someone for you when you're ready. I wish you the best. When I said I love you, Don't think I didn't. I just found someone else. I'm sorry Oriana.
In shocked... my eyes started to get watery, but I stopped for English class was starting. I didn't reply until I showed Carina the message.
C: THAT BITCH!
Me: I know..
C: WHAT A LYING BITCH! HE'S JUST FUCKEN LIKE SCOTTY, A FUCKEN PLAYER. SO MUCH FOR SAYING SHIT LIKE "OH IF YOU BOTH GET SOMEWHERE, KENJI'S GONNA LOVE YOU ETC" BULLLLLLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIT!
Me:... Yeah....
C: Don't be upset over it Ori. Please don't be. At the end of the day it's his lost ok.
Me: Yeah... I know.. but I'm just upset..
C: Don't be.. I know you'll be upset, but you'll get over it. I'll be here..
Me: Thanks Carina..
C: Yes, no problem. Cry it out later if you have to ok? Don't keep it in. But for now, let's not think about it and get some lunch.
Me:... I'm not hungry...
C: I know you're only saying that cause you're upset.
Me:.. No seriously, I'm not hungry.
C: Fine, then I'll feed you! So you better open up. I don't care what you eat, you're going to eat. EVEN if it's just a bag of Hot Cheetos. I will shove it down your throat.
*Carina did end up feeding me Hot Cheetos.*
I finally decided to message Kenji back....
"Hey Kenji,
I'm sorry for asking you to wait when you couldn't anymore. I'm Happy you found someone. But because this is probably the end of us, I just wanted to tell you.... I loved you too.. It took me a while to realize it, so I'm sorry too. I realized it that night you fell asleep on skype with me, and I've been wanting to tell you ever since, but You never returned any of my text or calls, especially since I wanted to tell you face to face through skype. But... I guess our timing isn't great. I'm too slow I guess... But Congrats with your relationship. I wish you the best and thank you for all the great times we had in the past. I will forever cherish and remember them. Thank you so much.
After hitting send, I got ready for work, but I still thought about his message to me... I can't believe this is the end of us... I can't believe all this time that I was trying to get a hold of him, he was already with someone else.....
** At work...**
Looking at the floor set up, I was working with Jackson again. This time however, I was getting trained in the Men's clothing area. So I clocked in and headed onto the floor making my way to the Men's Clothing.
Jackson saw me approaching him.
J: Well, well. I guess you're now in my territory ! Muhahah!!
Me:...... *Ignored that comment.
J: Wow, that's a first. No comment? No reply? Nothing? Nothing slick?
Me:..........
J:........Oriana?
Me:................
J: Oriana!!!!!!!! *He waved his hands in front of me*
I finally snapped out of my thoughs.
Me:.... Yeah, sorry. Did you say something?
J: Wow..... you're weird today. but *gasp! Did you just say "SORRY?" To me??? :D
Me:.... Sure
J: Wow, someone ain't herself today. Well, focus Ori. You got some training to do and I won't go easy on you.
Me:......
J: Alrighty Then. Let's start with a tour.
Me:.. Ok.
8PM comes around.
J: You're getting the hang of it. That's good. Now if we work together again, haha you can do all the work while I sit.
Me: Ok
J:... Are you ok?
Me:...... Yeah I'm fine
J: No you're not.
Me:.... No really, I'm ok. Just have a lot of stuff to do when I get home.
J:... Ohhh I see.. well, it's 8PM. We both can go now.
Me:... Yeah ok.
I finished folding the last shirt in my hand and walked towards the back to clock out. Jackson just stared at me... "Hmmm" he said, "Something is definitely wrong... I wonder if I can find out by looking on her social media..."
*Search search... Ugh, I can't find anything.. She has everything set to private... Well.. I'll just add her. Might as well. Who knows, maybe she can pick up my shifts! Hahaha. Jackson, you are so smart. :D
Shoot, I gotta hurry out of here too. Maybe I can make her tell me!!!
By the time Jackson got to the back, I was already gone. "Dang," Jackson thought she must really have a lot of stuff to do. She left so quick. Oh well. I'll catch her next time.
** At home **
Once I got out of "Make It YOURS" my parents were already waiting for me so I quickly got in our car. I just want to go home I thought to myself.... It's been one hell of a day..... Finally arriving at home, .....still thinking about everything that has happened today and Kenji's message constantly replying itself in my head.. I rushed upstairs to my bedroom and closed the door. I had my back against the door & I finally, finally cried....
Everything... Everything... all the smiles... his smile....the laughter, the late night talk, everything... It's done.... I sat on the ground in my room for a while and let it all out....
*A while later*..
"Time to do that paper," I finally said...Let's try to keep my mind busy. I'll be ok, I said.... but deep deep down, I still had a heavy heart and watery, red eyes and nose.
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