Chapter 74: Chapter 55: A Clumsy Gungan
EXT. NABOO SWAMP - TWILIGHT
QUI-GON runs through the strange landscape, glancing back to see the monstrous troop transports, emerging from the mist.
Animals begin to run past him in a panic. An odd, frog-like Gungan, JAR JAR BINKS, squats holding a clam he has retrieved from the murky swamp.
The shell pops open. JAR JAR's greta tongue snaps out and grabs the clam, swallowing it in one gulp.
JAR JAR looks up and sees QUI-GON and the other creatures running like the wind toward him.
One of the huge MTT's bears down on the JEDI like a charging locomotive. JAR JAR stands transfixed, still holding the clam shell in one hand.
JAR JAR : Oh, noooooooooo!
JAR JAR drops the shell and grabs onto QUI-GON as he passes. The JEDI is caught by surprise.
JAR JAR : (Cont'd) Hey, help me! Help me!!
QUI-GON : Let go!
The machine is about tp crush them as QUI-GON drags JAR JAR behind him.
Just as the transport is about to hit them, QUI-GON drops, and JAR JAR goes splat into the mud with him.
The transport races overhead. QUI-GON and JAR JAR pull themselves out of the mud.
They stand watching the war machine dissapear into the mist. JAR JAR grabs QUI-GON and hugs him.
JAR JAR : Oyi, mooie-mooie! I luv yous! The frog-like creature kisses the JEDI.
QUI-GON : Are you brainless? You almost got us killed!
JAR JAR : I spake.
QUI-GON : The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get outta here!
QUI-GON starts to move off, and JAR JAR follows.
JAR JAR : No...no! Mesa stay...Mesa yous humble servaunt.
QUI-GON : That wont be necessary.
JAR JAR : Oh boot tis! Tis demunded byda guds. Tis a live debett, tis. Mesa culled Jaja Binkss.
In the distance, two STAPS burst out of the mist at high speed, chasing OBI-WAN.
QUI-GON : I have no time for this now...
JAR JAR : Say what?
The two STAPS barrell down on OBI-WAN.
JAR JAR : (cont'd) Oh, nooooo! Weesa ganna....
QUI-GON throws JAR JAR into the mud.
QUI-GON : Stay down!
His head pops up.
JAR JAR : ...dieeee!
The two troops fire laser bolts at OBI-WAN. QUI-GON deflects the bolts back, and the STAPS blow up. One-two.
OBI-WAN is exhausted and tries to catch his breath.
OBI-WAN : Sorry, Master, the water fried my weapon.
OBI-WAN pulls out his burnt laser sword handle. QUI-GON inspects it, as JAR JAR pulls himself out of the mud.
QUI-GON : You forgot to turn your power off again, didn't you?
OBI-WAN nods sheeplishly.
QUI-GON : (cont'd) It won't take long to recharge, but this is a lesson I hope you've learned, my young Padawan.
OBI-WAN : Yes, Master.
JAR JAR : Yousa sav-ed my again, hey?
OBI-WAN : What's this?
QUI-GON : A local. Let's go, before more of those droids show up.
JAR JAR : Mure? Mure did you spake??!?
OBI-WAN and QUI-GON start to run. JAR JAR tries to keep up.
JAR JAR : (cont'd) Ex-squeeze me, but da moto grande safe place would be Otoh Gunga. Tis where I grew up...Tis safe city. They all stop.
QUI-GON : A city!
JAR JAR nods his head
QUI-GON: Can you take us there?
JAR JAR : Ahhh, will...on second taut...no, not willy.
QUI-GON : No??!
JAR JAR : Iss embarrissing, boot... My afrai my've bean banished. My forgoten der Bosses would do terrible tings to my. Terrible tings if my goen back dare.
A PULSATING SOUND is heard in the distance.
QUI-GON : You hear that?
JAR JAR shakes his head yes.
QUI-GON : (cont'd) That's the sound of a thousand terrible things heading this way...
OBI-WAN : When they find us, they will crush us, grind us into little pieces, then blast us into oblivion!
JAR JAR : Oh! Yousa point is well seen. Dis way! Hurry! JAR JAR turns and runs into the swamp.
As they were running, OBI-WAN and QUI-GON made small talk with ome another for only a few moments.
QUI-GON: I don't want to pry, but how is your secrat marriage with DUTCHESS SATINE going?
OBI-WAN: Supprisingly not all bad. She is still the same as she always is. But that near-death experience on Mandalore really changed some of my views. I feel different. But I always feel like a part of my memories of that battle were a bit cloudy.
(A/n Adrian used Animus on him so he can erase memories of Adrian saving him with World Between Worlds to avoid a Paradox of.)
QUI-GON: Don't feel down. You visit her at least every month or two weeks. It's more time you get to spend with her than I with my own daughter. But you must still remember to live by the Code. But to find Balance in the Force is to first find Balance within yourself, be happy and be sad, have joy and anger but ensure you keep them under control.
OBI-WAN: Thank you Master. And again, if it isn't for your help, I think I would have left the Order to be with her.
(A/n Remember, QUI-GON has a (Deceased) Wife and (Living) Daughter. The two of them can open up to each other about their lives and secrats more. Ps, QUI-GON helped marry OBI-WAN and SATINE to marry in secrat.)
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EXT. NABOO SWAMP LAKE - TWILIGHT
QUI-GON, OBI-WAN and JAR JAR run into a murky lake and stop as JAR JAR tries to catch his breath.
The TRANSPORTS ARE HEARD in the distance.
QUI-GON : How much farther?
JAR JAR : Wesa goen underwater, okeyday?
QUI-GON and OBI-WAN pull out small capsule from their utility belts that turn into breathing masks.
JAR JAR : (cont'd) My warning yous. Gungans no liken outlaunders. Don't expict a wern welcome.
OBI-WAN : Don't worry, this has not been our day for warm welcomes.
JAR JAR jumps, does a double somersault with a twist, and dives into the water.
Breath masks on, QUI-GON and OBI-WAN wade in after him.
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EXT. NABOO LAKE - UNDERWATER
QUI-GON and OBI-WAN swim behind JAR JAR, who is very much at home in the water.
Down they swim into murky depths. In the distance the glow of Otoh Gunga, an underwater city made up of large bubbles, becomes more distinct.
They approach the strange, art nouveau habitat.
JAR JAR swims magically through one of the bubble membranes, which seals behind him.
OBI-WAN and QUI-GON follow.
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INT. OTOH GUNGA - CITY SQUARE
GUNGANS in the square scatter when they see the strange JEDI.
Four GUARDS armed with long electro-poles ride two-legged KAADUS into the square.
The GUARDS, led by CAPTAIN TARPALS, point their lethal poles at the dripping trio.
JAR JAR : Heyo-dalee, Cap'n Tarpals, Mesa back!
CAPT. TARPALS : Noah gain, Jar Jar. Yousa goen tada Bosses. Yousa in big dudu this time.
CAPT. TARPALS gives JAR JAR a slight zap with his power pole. JAR JAR jumps and moves off, followed by the two JEDI.
JAR JAR : How wude.
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INT. OTOH GUNGA - HIGH TOWER BOARD ROOM
The Bosses' Board Room has bubble walls, with small lighted fish swimming around outside like moving stars.
A long circular judge's bench filled with GUNGAN OFFICIALS dominates the room. OBI-WAN and QUI-GON stand facing BOSS NASS, who sits on a bench higher than the others.
BOSS NASS : Yousa cannot bees hair. Dis army of mackineeks up dare tis new weesong!
QUI-GON : That droid army is about to attack the Naboo. We must warn them.
BOSS NASS : Wesa no like da Naboo! Un dey no like uss-ens. Da Naboo tink day so smarty den us-ens. Day tink day brains so big.
OBI-WAN : After those droids take control of the surface, they will come here and take control of you.
BOSS NASS : No, mesa no tink so. Mesa scant talkie witda Naboo, and no nutten talkie it outlaunders. Dos mackineeks no comen here! Dey not know of uss-en.
OBI-WAN : You and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to noe of you will affect the other. You must understand this.
BOSS NASS : Wesa wish no nutten in yousa tings, outlaunder, and wesa no care-n about da Naboo.
QUI-GON : (waves his hand) Then speed us on our way.
BOSS NASS : Wesa gonna speed yousaway.
QUI-GON : We need a transport.
BOSS NASS : Wesa give yousa una bongo. Da speedest way tooda Naboo tis goen through da core. Now go.
QUI-GON : Thank you for your help. We go in peace.
After havng used a Jedi Mind Trick on BOSS NASS to aquire transportation at the very least, QUI-GON and OBI-WAN turn to leave.
OBI-WAN : Master, whats a bongo?
QUI-GON : A transport, I hope.
The JEDI notice JAR JAR in chains to one side, waiting to hear his verdict.
QUI-GON stops. JAR JAR gives him a forlorn look.
JAR JAR : Daza setten yous up. Goen through da planet core is bad bombin!!
QUI-GON : Thank you, my friend.
JAR JAR : Ahhh...any hep hair would be hot.
JAR JAR's soulful look is counterpointed by a sheepish grin.
OBI-WAN : We are short of time, Master.
QUI-GON : We'll need a navigator to get us through the planet's core. This Gungan my be of help.
QUI-GON walks bact to BOSS NASS.
QUI-GON : (cont'd) What is to become of Jar Jar Binks here?
BOSS NASS : Binkss brokeen the nocombackie law. Hisen to be pune-ished.
QUI-GON : He has been a great help to us. I hope the punishment will not be too severe.
BOSS NASS : Pounded unto death.
JAR JAR : (grimacing) Oooooh...Ouch!
OBI-WAN looks concerned. QUI-GON is thinking.
QUI-GON : We need a navigator to get us through the planet's core. I have saved Jar Jar Binks' life. He owes me what you call a "life.debt."
BOSS NASS : Binks. Yousa havena liveplay with thisen hisen?
JAR JAR nods and joins the JEDI.
QUI-GON waves his hand.
QUI-GON : Your gods demand that his life belongs to me now.
BOSS NASS : Hisen live tis yos, outlauder. Begone wit him.
JAR JAR : Count mesa outta dis! Better dead here, den deader in da core...Yee guds, whata mesa sayin?!
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EXT. NABOO CITY - UNDERWATER - SUB (FX)
A strange little submarine propels itself away from the Otoh Gunga, leaving the glow of the settlement in the distance.
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INT. SUB COCKPIT - UNDERWATER
OBI-WAN in the co-pilots seat, JAR JAR guides the craft.
JAR JAR : Dis is nusen.
OBI-WAN : Master, why do you keep dragging these pathetic life forms along with us?...Here, take over.
JAR JAR : Hey, ho? Where wesa goen??
QUI-GON : You're the navigator.
JAR JAR : Yo dreamen mesa hopen...,br
QUI-GON : Just relax, the Force will guide us...
JAR JAR : Ooooh, maxibig..."da Force"...Wellen, dat smells stinkowiff.
JAR JAR veers the craft to the left and turns the lights on. The coral vistas are grand, fantastic, and wonderous.
OBI-WAN : Why were you banished, Jar Jar?
JAR JAR : Tis a long tale, buta small part wawdabe mesa...ooooh...aaaa.....clumsy.
OBI-WAN : They banished you because you're clumsy?
As the little sub glides into the planet core, a large dark shape begins to follow.
JAR JAR : Mesa cause-ed mabee one or duey lettal bitty axadentes...yud-say boom da gasser, un crash Der Bosses heyblibber...den banished. Oh! But strange wan wid blue tail said he help me so I mesa no clumsy anymore!
OBI-WAN: A man with a blue tail said he would help.you so you won't be clumsy?
Suddenly there is a loud CRASH, and the little craft lurches to one side.
QUI-GON looks around and sees a huge, lumimnous OPEE SEA KILLER has hooked them with its long gooey tongue.
QUI-GON : Full speed ahead.
Instead of full ahead, JAR JAR jams the controls into reverse. The sub flies into the mouth of the creature.
JAR JAR : Oooops.
OBI-WAN : Give me the controls.
OBI-WAN takes over the controls and the OPEE SEA KILLER instantly releases the sub from its mouth.
JAR JAR : Wesa free!
As the sub zooms away they see a larger set of jaws, munching on the hapless KILLER. The jaws belong to the incredible SANDO AQUA MONSTER.
The lights on the tiny sub begin to flicker as they cruise deeper into the gloom.
QUI-GON : There's always a bigger fish.
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INT. FEDERATION BATTLESHIP - BRIDGE
NUTE and RUNE stand before a hologram of DARTH SIDIOUS.
NUTE : The invasion is on schedule, My Lord.
DARTH SIDIOUS : Good. I have the Senate bogged down in procedures. By the time this incident comes up for a vote, they will have no choice but to accept your control of the system.
NUTE : The Queen has great faith the Senate will side with her.
DARTH SIDIOUS : Queen Amidala is young and naive. You will find controlling her will not be difficult. You have done well, Viceroy.
NUTE : Thank you, My Lord.
DARTH SIDIOUS fades away.
RUNE : You didn't tell him about the missing Jedi?
NUTE : No need to report that to him, until we have something to report.
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INT. SUB COCKPIT - UNDERWATER
Sparks are flying, and water is leaking into the cabin. The sound of the power drive drops.
OBI-WAN : .....we're losing power.
OBI-WAN is working with the sparking wires. JAR JAR panics.
QUI-GON : Stay calm. We're not in trouble yet.
JAR JAR : What yet? Monstairs out dare! Leak'n in here, all'n sink'n, and nooooo power! You nutsen! WHEN YOUSA TINK WESA IN TROUBLE?!!!?
OBI-WAN : Power's back.
The lights flicker on, revealing an ugly COLO CLAW FISH right in front of them.
JAR JAR : Monstairs back!
The large COLO CLAW FISH is surprised and rears back. The sub turns around and speeds away.
JAR JAR : (cont'd) Wesa in trouble now??
QUI-GON : Relax. QUI-GON puts his hand on JAR JAR's shoulder. JAR JAR relaxes into a coma.
OBI-WAN : You overdid it.
The COLO CLAW FISH leaps after the fleeing sub as it shoots out of the tunnel and into the waiting jaws of the SANDO AQUA MONSTER.
OBI-WAN (cont'd) This is not good! JAR JAR regains consciousness.
JAR JAR : Wesa dead yet?? Oie Boie!
JAR JAR's eyes bulge, and he faints again. The sub narrowly avoids the deadly teeth of the AQUA MONSTER.
The COLO CLAW FISH chasing them isn't so lucky. It is munched in half by the larger predator. The little sub slips away.
QUI-GON : Head for that outcropping.
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EXT. THEED - MAIN ROAD INTO THEED - DAY (FX)
The long columns of the DROID ARMY move down the main road leading to Theed, the Naboo capital.
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EXT. THEED PLAZA - DAY (FX)
As the QUEEN watches helplessly from a window in the palace, a transport carrying NUTE and RUNE lands in Theed Plaza. They exit the transport.
NUTE : Ah, victory!
Meanwhile, ANAKIN had came amd stood beside the QUEEN to escort her away, now that the others were safe.
ANAKIN: We best get moving or we will have a herder time to get away.
The "QUEEN" nodded her head and lft with ANAKIN to where Padmé and the other handmaidena are.
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INT. NABOO LAKE - UNDERWATER - SUB (FX)
The little sub continue to propel itself toward the surface, which is brightly lit. JAR JAR : Wesa dude it!
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EXT. THEED - ESTUARY - DAY
Paradise. Billowing clouds frame a romantic body of water.
There is a LOUD RUSH OF BUBBLES, and a small sub bobs to the surface. The current in the estuary begins to pull the sub backward into a fast moving river.
OBI-WAN switches off the two remaining bubble canopies.
QUI-GON stands up to look around. JAR JAR lets out a sigh of relief.
JAR JAR : Wesa safe now.
QUI-GON : Get this thing started.
JAR JAR : Dissen berry good. Hey?
OBI-WAN : What is it?
JAR JAR looks back to where they're drifting. He sees they are headed for a huge waterfall.
JAR JAR : What!!?? Oie boie!
OBI-WAN tries to start the engine. The long props behind the sub slowly begin to rotate.
OBI-WAN struggles until finally, a few feet short of the waterfall, the sub starts and is able to generate enough power to stop drifting backward in the powerful current.
The sub slowly moves forward. In the background, QUI-GON takes a cable out of his belt. The engine coughs and dies.
They start drifting backward again. JAR JAR panics.
JAR JAR : (cont'd) Iyiiyi, wesa die'n here, hey!
QUI-GON shoots the thin cable, and it wraps itself around a railing on the shore.
The sub pulls the cable taut, and the little craft hangs precariously over the edge of the waterfall.
QUI-GON : Come on...
OBI-WAN climbs out of the sub and pulls himself along the cable. QUI-GON starts in after him.
QUI-GON : (cont'd) Come on, Jar Jar.
JAR JAR : No! Too scary!
OBI-WAN : Get up here!
JAR JAR : No a mighty no!
JAR JAR looks back and sees he is hanging over the waterfall.
JAR JAR : (cont'd) Oie boie...mesa comen. Mesa comen!
JAR JAR starts to climb out of the sub. OBI-WAN is on shore and helps to pull QUI-GON out of the water.
OBI-WAN : That was close.
BATTLE DROID 3B3 : (O.S) Drop your weapons!
The TWO JEDI turn around to see a BATTLE DROID standing in front of them. JAR JAR climbs up on shore between the JEDI.
BATTLE DROID 3B3 : I said drop your weapons
QUI-GON ignites his laser sword, and in a brief flash, the DROID is cut down by the JEDI.
A stray laser bolt hits the cable and the sub breaks lose, crashing down the waterfall. The JEDI move on.
JAR JAR reluctantly follows and looks back at the mess.
JAR JAR : Whoa!!!
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I am curious, can you guess what I did as the major change in the Phantom Menace? Other than Anakin and Tatooine arc of course.
Also yea, the extra scenes and lines of dialogue are from the cut version of The Phantom Menace or is in the original script.
Parts I added in should be easily recognisable and distinguished.
Fun Fact, did you know that George Lucas' favourite episode in the Clone Wars is Season 5, Episode 11 - A Sun in the Void.
I am actually watching it right now since it does have some really strange things in it, no wonder George Lucas likes it.
The bird-like creatures that live on "Planet Void" is strange and peculiar.
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