Chapter 16: Chapter 15
~ Hotel Room ~
Crystal POV:
"So please tell me... Why did I have to pay for his room?" I ask nobody in particular. But I am looking straight at Blake, who's reading a book.
"It's fine, isn't it?" She answers, clearly not interested.
"How is it fine?"
"I can repay you for him?" She asks, throwing me a quick look.
"No!"
"Well, there you go"
I grumble and mumble incoherent words, I sigh after it and stop carrying about it. Now then... What are we going to do?
"Blake?"
"Hm?"
"What's next for you?"
She stops reading and closes her book, while also sighing.
"I don't know..."
"Is there anything you want to do?"
"There is one thing, which is finding out who robbed that dust shop"
I tilt my head confused, from where did some 'dust shop' come in?
"I guess you wouldn't know, basically, while we were in the docs earlier today, there was a robbed dust shop and because the topic of white fang came up, Weiss went off on her..."
"Schnee-ness?"
"Sure, let's say that. And that's where that monkey Faunus came in, he was running away from security because he stole something, so we followed him and you know the rest"
I nod, thinking...
"So you don't believe that it was White Fang that robbed the place and you want to make sure?"
"Pretty much, it just doesn't make, they never needed this much dust before" I feel Blake get stiff, making me confused. Her seeing me confused makes her relax... Therefore making me even more confused.
"Sorry, I forgot who I am talking to for a second. Simply to say, I am a fugitive, I was a member of White Fang"
Oh... "That's pretty cool, so you fought for Faunus equality? Though I guess now, it's for people to hate the Faunus instead of liking them"
"That's... Yeah, I guess that's how it is now" Blake adds dejectedly.
"So... Why'd you leave? Is there a specific reason? Or is it just because it's not a 'good' place anymore? Oh, and you don't have to answer if you don't feel like it" I ask and remind Blake, which she seems to appreciate, even while shaking her head lightly.
"I don't mind telling you, for I know that you will never judge me, all things considered"
"Mhm," I hum in agreement.
"I was a member for most of my life, actually. You could almost say I was born into it... Just like you were born into killing"
"Ha, so true" I jab at myself, Blake merely rolls her eyes at me and continues.
"Back then, things were different. In the ashes of war, the White Fang was meant to be a symbol of peace and unity between Humans and the Faunus. Of course, despite being promised equality, the Faunus were subjected to discrimination and hate. Humanity still thought of us as lesser beings. And so, the White Fang rose as a voice of our people. And I was there."
Blake pauses for a moment, probably reminiscing.
"I was at the front of every rally. I took part in every boycott. I actually thought we were making a difference. But I was just a youthful optimist. Then, five years ago, our leader stepped down, and a new one took his place. A new leader, with a new way of thinking."
Blake's eyes harden quite a bit.
"Suddenly, our peaceful protests were being replaced with organized attacks. We were setting fire to shops that refused to serve us, hijacking cargo from companies that used Faunus labor. And the worst part was, it was working. We were being treated as equals. But not out of respect... out of fear"
"Indeed, fear works, but it has a huge downside, it is the fact that people might rise against it in a revolt, not only them hating us, but also actively making us enemies"
"Unfortunately..." Blake mutters.
"Sorry, continue"
"Don't worry, it's fine. Anyways, I left. I decided I no longer wanted to use my skills to aid in their violence, and instead, I would dedicate my life to becoming a Huntress. So here I am, a criminal hiding in plain view, all with the help of a little black bow" She wiggles her cat ears that aren't hidden and are for me to see in plain view.
"If it helps, you look better without the bow..." I say slowly.
"It doesn't... But thank you... How can you be so confident while showing off that you're a Faunus?"
"Hm... I am not confident, at all..."
"But... I saw you, you walk around, not paying attention to what some people say, stand up to bullies like Cardin, people like Weiss who sees the Faunus populace as enemies, how can you say that you aren't confident?"
"That's because I am not, simple as that... I am something that nobody should ever be... I am used to it, that's what I am... Unlike you and most Faunus, I can't hide behind some clothes, I am forced to show my heritage, therefore being on the full brunt of hate, I received hate for something that I had nothing to do with, for half of my life I wasn't even aware of why I was living, a living hell, then when I got out of it, I've dealt with more scenarios that were out of my element, all because of the actions of something called 'white fang' and as I said before, the only reason I knew anything of it was because of Schnees. And the only other way to hide from the humans? Get rid of my two remaining tails... That is something I never want to happen, I don't know if I could continue living if I were to lose them. So, Blake... I am not confident. It hurts hearing everybody talk about me like I am a freak, but, I am used to it, mainly because I'd rather hear the words when go through even 1% of what I went through when I was a child. In fact, it helps me at times too... You see, even when I talk that I am this 'strong' and 'unbeatable' girl, I fear silence when it's daytime, I can't handle it, I tend to break down, so when I hear people talk about me with my boosted senses, it helps... In a sick and messed up the way"
"That..." Blake tries to say something, only to stop when she sees me shaking my head.
"And I stand up for Faunus against people like Cardin and Weiss because I don't want any other Faunus to go through such things and certainly don't want them to get used to it, to let them think that they deserve such treatment, it's enough for me to be like that, there's no need for more. So if anybody hurts or talks bad about any other Faunus in front of me, I will sacrifice myself and take all of it. That's why I do it, it's not so that everybody would think that I am some 'hero' or a 'good' guy... It is all for the sake of other Faunus's wellbeing. I don't hate people that do it, everybody has different life circumstances, what I hate, is the people that don't and refuse to learn, people like that... Deserve to cease to exist"
"Is that... How you feel all the time? That's miserable..."
"Heh, welcome to my life"
"This is not a joking matter" Blake suddenly shouts at me angrily. Making me confused.
"Isn't it?"
"What?" Blake answers not understanding.
"My whole life is one big sick joke, Blake, how is it not a 'joking' matter?"
"That... That's not what that means and you know it"
"Perhaps... But I am not going to pity myself for how bad it is, I live how I want with what life gave me, so I also don't need your pity, Blake. People don't get to chose how they are born, so you just have to deal with it. And that is exactly what I did"
"I am not pitying you..."
"Oh? You aren't? Then why are you giving me the same look, that my mom gave me when she first heard the full story of my childhood? That's the only time I was truly mad at her, because to me that look showed how weak, fragile, and vulnerable I truly seemed to her and others, like I am some glass that's ready to break, that I need to be protected from life and its obstacles, for your information, it doesn't feel great, just because my life didn't have a great start, doesn't mean I can't live it to its fullest" I answer back irritated.
"Crystal... That's not pity in my eyes... it's sympathy, It hurts just to listen to you talk about it, it's not me trying to make you feel bad, it genuinely makes me sad... And if I feel right about it, I am pretty sure it was the same for your mother"
"Sympathy?" I ask confused, all prior irritation is gone.
"Yes," Blake sounds so confident.
I blink a few times... "What is sympathy?"
Blake's eyes go wide at my question, her mouth opens to say something, only for it to close right after. Great, I said something weird again... Woohoo, go me.
"Sympathy is... a feeling pity or sense of compassion, yes it has some of the qualities of 'pity' but it only has the good ones, for when you feel bad for someone else's misfortune out of mutual understanding. Like I do right now, I hear how you talk, how you lived and all of it only makes me feel sadness, it makes me want to protect you, to make you feel happy, because I understand your circumstances, or at least try to understand it as best as I can and I don't want you to experience them again... And actual pity is close to that, but without good qualities, you feel bad for somebody, but without any understanding between the people, you don't do anything else for them, just say that you're 'sorry' for them and that's it. It's just condescending"
"So... You're feeling sympathy towards me?"
"Yes... In fact, I am sure that your mother felt the same, or at least something close to it"
"But I can protect myself, there's no need for that"
"Crystal, wanting to protect somebody is a good sign, even if you, yourself would need protection sometimes, it's not a bad sign and it's most certainly a good thing"
"How is that a good thing? To me, it just shows somebody's weakness"
"want to know how that's good?" Blake asks me seriously.
"Yes"
"Because it shows that somebody out there cares enough for you to want you to be okay, pure and simple" Blake finishes and goes back to her book, actively ending the conversation, leaving me to myself in a state of disbelief.
Do they care for me? There's no way that's true... right? Who could care for somebody like me... But Blake would definitely not lie about something like this, right?... She says that cares for me... And if she's right, my mom does too...
Does my wife care for me too? Since our marriage was out of convenience at first, but how does she feel for me now? She did want to have a child with me... But is that out of feelings and care for me? Or just out of necessity like the scientists that wanted to have my children be lab rats...
I need to sleep on this... It's too much for me right now. Sympathy, huh?
I look at Blake, then her ears and the book she's reading...
"Blake?"
She lowers her book to look at me, tilting her head slightly in question.
"Why do you care for me? It doesn't make sense to me, I actively talked about killing people, both humans and Faunus, I am also such a hassle, knowing barely anything, needing everything to be explained. The teachers in Beacon have given up on me, and I know that not everybody appreciates a 'slut' talking about her bed adventures. I just don't understand"
Blake looks at me intensely, then lowers her eyes again to the book she's reading, I don't expect an answer at this point, so I roll my tails around myself subconsciously. But her sudden answer both surprises me and makes me ecstatic.
"It's because we are friends, dummy"
I start to giggle uncontrollably, hehe, now I have a second friend, Penny being first... Or I guess it's the opposite, since I and Blake were apparently already friends, so I guess Penny is my second friend... Well, who cares, the best part is that they are my friends even with how ridiculous I am, this is fantastic. Heheheh.
Blake lowers her book again, looks at me for a moment, then rolling her eyes, goes back to reading.
While I am still high off of the happiness I feel right now, Blake says something else, that I appreciate hearing.
"Also, you're not a 'slut' don't demean yourself like that. Enjoying sex isn't wrong in any way, so what if you have more experience than most people? It's completely fine"
"Hehehe, thank you"
"Mhm"
I sit in place, lost in my mind, I haven't felt this great for a few weeks now, I hope it stays that way. While my mind goes throw multiple thoughts, Blake breaks me out of it.
"We should go to sleep, it's quite late"
"Ah, yes, of course. I'll take the ground, you can have the bed"
I get up to set everything up, making me miss the frown on Blake's face.
"No, it's okay, we can sleep on the same bed"
I stop my movements, I turn around to face her.
"But... What if I do something which you don't like while I am asleep?"
"What? What is it that you might do exactly? You'll be sleeping" Blake asks me amused.
"You already know that I either sleep alone or with somebody else... That's a sex partner, so my body's used to plenty of different things at this point. My tails sometimes have a mind of their own, trying to encircle the other person to keep them warm, or my own body tries to do that by hugging them tightly, and sometimes, if I had a really good time during the night, I might try to please them in the morning while basically 'sleep-walking', so I don't think that sleeping with a friend is a good idea, I wouldn't want to ruin that" I answer with conviction.
"Oh... I am fine with the first... somewhat less with the second one... But the third one is..."
"Too much, right?"
Blake just nods, not wanting to verbally answer.
"See? It's okay, I am us-"
"Don't finish saying that, it's fine, get inside the bed, let's go to sleep"
I blink in confusion...
"Bu-"
"I said it's fine, come on"
"Okay...?"
I slowly walk towards the bed and lay down, Blake closes her book fully and shuts down the light... What did I do wrong? All I wanted to say is that I am used to sleeping in less convenient places, the ground is barely unpleasant... she stopped me used... Oh... But just to make sure, so I wouldn't get ideas again.
"Blake... Is I saying that I am 'used' to something, a bad thing?"
"It wouldn't be... if you were used to something actually... desirable, so in your situation, yes, it is"
"Oh... It's out of sympathy, right?"
"It is"
It's okay, then... right? (It is), should I say something else? (Thank her), okay.
"Thank you"
"Mhm," Blake quietly answers me with a hum.
I slowly make my tails go to her side of the bed and slowly start encircling her around them, she goes stiff for a moment, but relaxes shortly after.
"You said before that you're fine with this much... It's okay, right?"
"Yes, now go to sleep"
"Okay..."
This might just be one of the best days I've ever had. All thanks to one awesomely amazing cat, who's my first actual friend. (Don't cry about it), Ha, fat chance... (It's not, you're getting teary-eyed), I-I might be..., (Seriously, don't cry, I don't want to hear it), I don't think that I can stop myself... (Ugh, fine, go ahead, you... deserve it), hehe, thanks.
I start lightly sobbing, during it, I miss Blake's arms taking ahold of my tails and lightly squeezing them. And I unknowingly cry myself to sleep.
~ End of Chapter 15 ~
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