38.09% Stuffed into Potter / Chapter 32: Ch32. Sirius Problem

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Chapter 32: Ch32. Sirius Problem

Dumbledore stormed to the Chief Warlock office in the Ministry, his mind swirling with various ideas about how things could escalate so quickly and so badly for him. He hurriedly entered, trying to appear as calm as possible, and loudly slammed the door behind himself. He headed towards the comfortable chair behind his lavish desk and slumped there tiredly, letting the anger and confusion wash over him.

With his wand, Dumbledore lazily levitated a lemon drop right into his barely opened mouth. He surveyed the old, dusty furniture in the office he last used a few years ago. Even though he so vehemently argued it is not necessary to give him a room in the Ministry, right now, he was glad he had it.

For a while, he just chewed on his candy as he waited for the effects to kick in. He was so agitated, it took almost two minutes for him to again feel the relaxing calm, and clear-minded state his beloved sweets brought him. His body felt pleasant and so peaceful, he could almost fall asleep in the chair.

His eyelids started to slowly drop. Lower and lower. Until his eyes were closed.

'Now is not the time to sleep!' Dumbledore abruptly opened his exhausted eyes with a start.

He had to find out what to do about Sirius! That boy can NOT be given Veritaserum! He knows too much! Just the fact he was the caster of Potter's Fidelius in tandem with Pettigrew being the secret keeper would have him out of his office, pronto!

Him! The great Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore! The greatest wizard since Merlin!

That would not do! Not at all!

But that is the least of his worries! Once Black is free he will have a go at young Potter and his plans would go crashing sooner than he could empty his secret Lemon Drop stash! And Albus prided himself in speed when it came to enjoying his sweets!

He sealed Potter's Will.

He gave Harry to magic-hating muggles.

He used compulsion on Petunia Dursley to keep her from actually hating her nephew.

He obliviated the boy and Dursleys over two dozen times when the boy was about to die from the abuse!

He used illegal blood wards that would stunt Harry's growth.

He bound Harry's core with a ritual so dark even Dark Lords would not use it in fear of losing their mental capabilities, much less him, THE Light Lord.

He stole willingly given blood of young Potter from his parents and used it on illegal blood trackers.

He made sure Harry is shunned in his muggle... school if that place could be called that. Seriously, that place did not have any flair! No towers nor dungeons! How could anyone call such a boring place a school? Sigh, Hogwarts is really one of a kind. This was the perfect example of the superiority of wizards! They learned in magnificent places! Not... whatever that plain square-like building was!

He sent people to obliviate and manipulate the public to not care about Harry's appearance and set up wards around his neighborhood and school to make sure they do not call the muggle authorities.

Oh, he did a lot, a lot more and it would all be revealed once Sirius gets out and starts to inquire about his godson as is his right!

And that's just what WILL happen when he gets out. That's not even counting the questions that are ALREADY going to be asked due to the statements of that... that... Regent Black.

Albus gritted his teeth so hard he shattered the Lemon Drop in his mouth without even realizing it.

Granted his stunt with Sirius was a little forced and not much thought was put into it but Albus did his best to improvise with the incredible opportunity the Gryffindorkish fool provided him. He did not even have to kill Sirius to get him out of his way! No, the Black foolish sheep just went and got himself arrested and suspected of the murder of twelve muggles and Peter Pettigrew! It didn't take Albus even an hour to have him sitting in Azkaban and Peter proclaimed a 'hero' of light after his 'watcher' in Auror corps reported what happened. Sirius was in his cell sooner than he could wake up!

Albus especially asked the Minister and the then head of DMLE to sign the papers even though his signature was enough! All to ensure these political powerhouses and eventually, the Ministry itself would do anything to sweep Black's case from their table if it ever resurfaced!

He also did his damnedest to hide these 'matter of public record' documents as deep as he could without getting any scrutiny. And he could push them deep, far too deep for anyone to ever dig them out! So why the hell did Regent Black have them!

Albus shook his head angrily and swept everything from his desk in a bout of rage.

'That doesn't matter. Not now!' He angrily thought. 'I have to do some damage control!'

Albus pondered, furiously thought about what he can do to prevent his schemes from being discovered, much less completely crumble down.

Accidentally he spotted the old perch of Fawkes that was relocated from his Headmaster office here.

Then a solution presented itself.

"Oh, Sirius." A lone tear streaked down his wizened cheek. "It's all for Greater Good."


In a damp cell in Azkaban, the most secure prison in the world, or at least so claimed the British wizards, a black, shaggy dog laid in the corner, shaking from the cold, covered in filth and grime.

Sirius Black.

Despite his condition, he was content. At least, as much as a prisoner in a dementor-infested place can ever be. And sane. Yes, he was definitely still sane! Prongs said so every so often when he came to visit! Weirdly, Sirius felt these visits get more and more frequent.

Wait... Prongs... died. Right?

Meh, who cares.

Maybe he just pranked the afterlife by running away, stealing Augusta Longbottom's hat and Headmaster's robes, putting on Santa Claus's fake wig alongside Snape's hair grease, and every so often appeared in front of him for an encouraging talk?

Now that's an idea! And they call him insane!

Needless to say, the hotel Azkaban did leave a lot to be desired, to be honest, and Sirius knew his ratings for the place will be all-time low after he finally gets out! He would not recommend it as a summer house, not less as a full-time housing facility! The security is horrible and abusive, the service is bad and he doubted the cooks could prepare an actual meal if a gnome bit them in their arse!

The furnishing though...

He looked around his empty, stony cell.

Yes... the furnishing is oddly... missing.

Just then he heard another painful shriek of insanity from his cousin dearest, Bellatrix, due to the current visit from the resident caretakers, dementors.

'See? Even cousin Bella agrees the place is literal shit!' Sirius wanted to bark in laughter but was too tired to do so.

He shifted back into his human shape, knowing the dementors are playing with ickle Bella at the moment and won't bother him for a long, long time.

The sole entertainment of this facility. Radio Bellatrix.

Sirius couldn't help but chuckle, even though it brought him immense pain.

The insane bitch shrieked and screamed almost ten years straight, finally shutting up only when sleeping. Sirius momentarily contemplated if his cousin is not in fact his sister or something. She definitely sounded exactly like his mother. So Loud. Loud. And Loud!

He really did not know where she got the energy. She either let out a shrill shriek of pain whenever entertaining dementors, loud, unending curses at her 'brother-fucking' husband, or deranged fanatical shouts of insanity about the might of her 'beloved Master'.

Sirius remembered the time when he was thrown here. Bellatrix wasn't yet 'acclimated' to Azkaban, looking every bit her gorgeous self. At that time, his only entertainment was his cousin's screams of a weird mixture of pain and pleasure as the human guards were having a little fun with ickle Bella.

That lessened after she 'rumoredly' bit of a cock of one poor lad. Serves him right, sticking himself into insanity called Lestrange nee Black. Well, the guy was certainly loud enough the entire Azkaban knew what happened in seconds!

Bella's nightly adventures abruptly stopped when her body started to adopt the Azkaban-ish fashion of gaunt, haunted and skinny.

Sirius's thought strayed to his childhood when his favorite cousin Bella played with him. Even his pranking was actually her teachings! He loved the quiet rebellious know-it-all. Even if she relished in the study of Dark Arts... It was expected. She was Black, after all.

Yes... he loved her like a sister.

A pang of hurt sprang up in his heart as the image of his cute, fun-loving, studious partner in pranking Bellatrix Black merged with gaunt, pale, sickly-looking, deranged Bellatrix Lestrange. It hurt.

Figures the only family member he actually liked ended up as a murdering bitch.

Before he could relish Bellatrix Lestrange's screams for robbing him of his cousin Bellatrix Black, a burst of flame suddenly appeared in front of him.

Sirius was momentarily blinded and squinted his eyes to get a better view. In front of him, he saw purple starry and a white... beard?

"Santa Claus?" He asked bewildered.

Before he could contemplate more, darkness claimed him. The last words he heard...

"Avada Kedavra."

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