Chapter 42: My Living Story

As the shadows grow longer, I exhale deeply. Night is coming, and it feels both a shelter and an interminable hole where I find myself.

Wherever I turn in my life, it seems that all the exits are blocked, the options for freedom or choice dwindling or limited. The drumbeat and drone of a persistent hopelessness play out their mournful rhythm. Life is closing down on me.

All throughout life, I get these rippling tidal waves of doubt, fear, and loneliness. I tend to put myself down more than I can get myself up. I see the world with a grain of salt because I have been dangerously walking through a road covered by fog. 

There is the tendency to give up rather than push on until the fog has cleared. The worst part of it all is when a fork comes in the road, and both paths fill me up with crippling resistance. 

With the uninvited feeling comes the darkest moments in my life. 

What is my purpose?