Chapter 14: CHAPTER 12
Fire, smoke and commotion goes on the village of berk as the upper level of the blacksmith shop is engulfed in flames.
Vikings run from house to house carrying buckets of water, shouting orders at each other. Hoark a muscular Viking shouts to the crowd.
"FIRE" Hoark.
"Get the buckets" someone yells.
"To the ocean" another one adds.
"What happened?" someone asks as Snotlout and his monstrous nightmare fly overhead, carrying a barrel of water and pours it over the topside of the blacksmith shop.
"The wind is shifting! Fire brigade, move! Bring the Nadder in from the south" Stoick orders.
"I'm on it" Astrid says as she flies down on Stormfly who is carrying a bucket of water as well. She drops it on the flames extinguishing most of it.
"Gronckles, aim for the remaining spots on the roof" Hela orders as a group of 6 Gronckles being led by Troels plus Fishlegs and his Gronckle move in and extinguish the rest of the fire.
"Good work" Stoick says as Hiccup and Toothless land next to him.
"where's Gobber? Was he still inside?" Hiccup asks worried.
"No we can't find him..... " Stoick says before being interrupted by Gobber's voice.
"I'm right here," Gobber says as he walks over with a wheelbarrow full of weapons. "That beast will pay for this"
"Gobber, what happened?" Hiccup asks.
"What beast are you talking about?" Hela asks.
"what's it look like, a dragon set my house on fire" Gobber answers shocking everyone.
"What? " Ruffnut says.
"You pushed me too far this time, You ugly bag of bones," Gobber says making Stoick sigh in frustration.
"Dad, what is he talking about?" Hiccup asks.
"Yeah, our dragons don't do that anymore" Hela adds as she pets Fenrir making him yip happily as he drops the bucket he was carrying on his mouth even though it was empty.
"He doesn't mean one of yours," Stoick tells them before turning to Gobber. "Gobber, for the last time, there's no such thing as–"
"Boneknapper!?" Gobber says as murmurs and groans pass through the crowd. They've heard that name too many times.
"A what- kidnapper?" Tuffnut says confused.
"A disgusting, foul beast. Wearing a coat of stolen bones like a giant, flying skeleton," Gobber tells them.
"Ooh ooh ooh, The dragon manual says that the boneknapper will stop at nothing to find the perfect bone to build its coat of armor. It's awesome," Fishlegs says.
"Come on, it's just a myth, it doesn't even exist," Stoick says with a chuckle.
"Um, dad if it's mentioned in the dragon manual it exists or it did at some point," Hela says.
"She's right, it's real! I've been running from him my whole life, he's the one that started this fire" Gobber says.
And at this moment, a Viking walks up to Stoick, carrying fire-charred underpants on a stick.
"Stoick, we found Gobber's underpants hanging by the stove. They must have started the fire" The Viking says making everyone laugh heartedly.
"Still think it's the Boneknapper or just your underpants?" Stoick asks.
"I don't think! I know! Somehow he found me again. That Dragon is pure evil," Gobber says.
"Gobber, it's late and we're too tired for your stories. Now, get some rest" Stoick tells him.
"You rest, I'm putting an end to this" Gobber says as he grabs his underpants and stuffs them in the wheelbarrow. He rolls off in a huff, leaving the village behind.
As he reaches the ramps to the docks, he beckons Phil, his sheep, to follow. "Come on, Phil. Let's go. We don't need their help anyway"
"Baa"
Hela and Hiccup watch as he leaves, while stock and the others start walking away behind them.
Hela sighs, "We can't let him go by himself"
"Alright, Vikings, grab your shields" Hiccup tells them making them excited.
"You don't mind if I join you right" a new voice says close to Hiccup making him jump before stumbling over his words when he sees who it is.
"H–Hey, Dawn wh–what ar– when did you get back"
"Just this morning so can I come with you guys" Dawn, asks with a slight blush as she looks at Hiccup while their older siblings give each other a knowing smile.
"O–Of course, you can, I mean sure, yes" Hiccup stumbles over his words again making Dawn giggle.
"There is no way I'm getting on a boat to go after a fake dragon" Snotlout say as he crosses his hands, determined.
🌊🌊🚣🌊🌊
OCEAN–DAYTIME
Snotlout, on a boat, going after a fake dragon. He and the other are rowing heavily and not having too much fun except Hela since this is nothing to her.
Gobber, on the other hand is standing at the front of the boat, barking orders and manning the rudder.
"Come on, put your backs into it, like Hela, you lazy dogs, stroke, your not even trying, stroke"
"Hey how fun is this, we've got the team back together with a new addition on another adventure. This is pretty cool huh," Hiccup says as tries to lighten the mood a tad.
"Yeah, nothing cooler than rowing until your hands bleed," Snotlout says sarcastically.
"I just want you kids to know that it touches my heart, you helping me slay the Boneknapper," Gobber says tearing up, "True Vikings, you are."
"Gobber, are we there yet" Ruffnut asks.
"Oh, you'll know we're close when your ears explode from the piercing screams. Legend says, this dragon's roar is so fierce, it can melt your flesh right off your bones" Fishlegs says.
"Not so Fishlegs. The Boneknapper has no roar at all, that's why he's terrifying. He's a silent killer" Gobber tells him.
"Wait, so if we don't hear anything... we're dead?" Ruffnut says.
The teens stop rowing, looking around nervously in an awkward wake of silence.
"I don't hear anything" Tuffnut whispers. Hela suddenly gets an idea but Phil beats her to it.
"Baa"
The teens jump in fear before looking behind them and see Phil looking detached and chewing some cud.
"Ha Ha, good one Phil," Gobber says, "Did I ever tell you about the first time I met the dreaded Boneknapper"
FLASHBACK
Teen Gobber, his mother and his father are on a Viking ship, surrounded by icebergs. Gobber's father is manning the rudder while his mother is using the metal of a shield to get some sun.
"I was a young lad, about your age, on a summer vacation with my family, when I heard the call of nature" Gobber narrates.
Gobber is sitting at the back rowing the boat. He scrunches in discomfort.
"Dad, pull the boat over" Teen Gobber says as he hops out of the boat, waddling away quickly.
"Didn't I tell you go before we left?" Gobber's father says.
Gobber still waddles into the ice and turns around to relieve himself. He zips up and turns around to see.... A huge iceberg with Vikings frozen inside. They look mean and are holding weapons.
"I saw an army of Vikings frozen in battle. Clutched in the fingers of one of the Vikings was a small treasure chest... I had to have it" Gobber narrates.
Gobber lunges his axe into the ice, breaking towards the treasure chest in the frozen Viking's hand.
"I reached in and pulled out the chest..."
He opens his chest and his eyes sparkle in amazement.
"It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw,"
Suddenly, a hand reaches out from the ice and grabs Gobber's arm forcefully.
"But the frozen Viking was still alive. He started punching me in the face."
The frozen Viking bashes Gobber in the face repeatedly. Gobber pulls his lower lip out, looking in shock to see that his tooth is missing.
"Oh, my tooth" Teen Gobber says.
The frozen Viking stops his punching and points over to something in the sky, trying to get Gobber's attention.
"And there it was.... I never even heard it coming... The Boneknapper"
Gobber turns to see the Boneknapper flying through the sky. It lowers its flight, trying to snatch at Gobber's treasure chest. The Boneknapper flies into the iceberg of frozen Vikings, cracking it open.
"It crashed into the glacier, causing an avalanche of frozen Vikings"
Gobber runs from the Vikings tumbling out of the glacier, the Boneknapper still going after the chest. One lucky snatch of the Boneknapper causes Gobber to trip and lose his grip on the chest. The treasure tumbles into the nearby water.
"The treasure" Teen Gobber exclaims as he skids to the water's edge and reaches inside in search of the treasure chest.
"I reached into the water.... "
Only to find that the same face-punching Viking. The frozen Viking resumes his face punching.
"Only to find the frozen Viking punching me in the face again."
"Hey, hey, hey, hey" Teen Gobber exclaims after every punch.
The Boneknapper shows up once again, landing harshly down on the thin ice and causing Gobber to jet up in the air, but luckily with the treasure chest in hand.
The Boneknapper latches onto the treasure as well and Gobber is stuck in mid-air flight with it.
"The Boneknapper wanted that treasure but I wanted it more,"
Gobber sees an opening in an oncoming iceberg and grabs the treasure fiercely, detaching himself from the Boneknapper grasp and skids through the opening in the iceberg.
He's jutted out and slid up into the sky again, only to land back in his parent's boat, right in his seat.
Gobber's father turns around, unfazed and unaware of the commotion.
"What took you so long" Gobber's father asks.
Gobber looks down at the chest and hides it behind his back nervously, laughing all the same.
FLASHBACK END.
Gobber continues to laugh as he finishes his story. But the Viking teens don't look amused at all, in fact, they're pretty annoyed.
"You except us to believe that a frozen Viking punched you in the face?" Snotlout asks.
"Yeah, twice" Gobber tells him.
"Hey, it could happen" Hiccup says in Gobber's defense even though he himself is having a hard time believing it.
"What do you mean "it could happen" it did, but I outsmarted the silent beast," Gobber says.
"um, Gobber, I hate to be a stickler for details but... Boneknappers aren't silent," Fishlegs says.
"Fishlegs I know what I didn't hear, " Gobber says annoyed.
"Fishlegs, I know you mean well but let's do the correcting and who's right and wrong until we meet this dragon, if it's not extinct," Hela says making Fishlegs nod his head, the last part she whispered to herself.
Fishlegs looks over the side of the boat, worried from what he sees.
"um, guys, is there supposed to be....?"
"I had a sixth sense for danger. I can smell anything... " Gobber continues to rant.
"I really think we're gonna hit these..." Fishlegs says panicking but no one hears him as they are focused on Gobber.
"I could taste the on coming doom..." Gobber says.
Suddenly, the boat is lunged forward and everyone is jostled around.
Tuffnut and Phil look over the sides of the boat in dazed amazement.
"Whoa... " Tuffnut says.
Astrid looks over the side with them.
"um, I'm tasting rocks" Astrid says.
"Yeah, me too" Dawn says with a groan as she sits up and spit out a small rock.
"Ah, we're here," Gobber says.
★★★
Ruffnut looks out at the boat in the distance, it's caught on top of a huge boulder and is sinking quickly.
"Ugh, now we're stuck in the middle of nowhere, and no one even knows where we are," Ruffnut says.
"Except the Boneknapper. Legend says... "Fish legs starts but is cut off.
"Hey, you know what legend also says? Stop talking," Snotlout tells him annoyed.
"Okay, just hold on one darn second..."
"No need to panic, kids, I've been shipwrecked many times," Gobber says calmly.
"Oh, well, that's.... Comforting," Hiccup says.
"Did they just forget that I can turn into a dragon and take us home?" Hela asks Astrid.
"Apparently, they did," Astrid says.
Gobber calmly sits down and starts sharpening his hook with a rock.
"You never forget your first shipwreck," Gobber says.
FLASHBACK
Gobber is on a tiny island -- only a single palm tree can fit on it. His hair blowing in the wind, and a broom attachment on his missing hand.
"I was stranded on an island with only my broom. It was a very small island. It's no wonder the Boneknapper found me again," Gobber narrates.
The Boneknapper swoops out of the sky, flying down to snatch at Gobber, but it takes the palm tree instead. But, as the Boneknapper flies off Gobber realizes another island in the distance.
"There was another island. My only escape. But I was surrounded by bloodthirsty hammerhead sharks,"
Suddenly, many hammerhead sharks pop out from the water and surround Gobber's small island. They bare their teeth. Gobber looks at the sharks and back at the boneknapper flying towards him.
"I only had one chance, so I ran across the shark-infested waters"
Gobber hops off the island and lands on one of the shark's heads. Leaping from shark head to shark head over the waters, knocking out any one of them that gets in his way with his broom-hand.
A shark jumps in front of the Gobber, but he dodges his bite, "Someone forgot to brush," he brushes the shark's teeth with his broom-hand before punching it in the nose.
Gobber continues to run across shark heads, but soon the Boneknapper closes in on Gobber, opening it's claws once more.
"I didn't think I was gonna make it, "
Gobber continues to run, hoping upwards to the distant island as the Boneknapper continues to get closer. But soon, something huge pops out of the water...
"But then, from the depth of the ocean leapt forth... a giant hammerhead whale... "
A huge, flat-headed whale leaps out of the ocean and opens its mouth to swallow the Boneknapper...
****
Fishlegs, Hiccup, Hela, Astrid, and Dawn look at Gobber in disbelief. But Fishlegs seems highly amused.
"Whoa, so the hammerhead whale ate the Boneknapper?" Fishlegs asks invested in the story.
"Almost, but he got away. Years later the dragon hunted me down again and chased me into the jungle," Gobber says.
****
Gobber is running frantically through a thick jungle.
"All I had was my trusty egg beater"
Gobber turns his egg beater and weeds himself through the bamboo within the jungle, but the Boneknapper is still not too far behind him chasing after him on foot.
"I carved through that thick brush as fast as a jungle cat, but still the Boneknapper was right behind,"
Gobber cuts his way through the rest of the bamboo, stopping abruptly when he sees a random bush of flowers. He picks up a flower and sniffs it.
"Ah, Azaleas" He says before he immediately drops the flower and keeps running as the Boneknapper continues after him on foot. The two near the side of an active volcano, but neither of them slow down in the chase.
"I ran up the side of a volcano and courageously leapt across the fiery crater,"
Gobber runs up the volcano and jumps across the boiling opening, smiling wildly all the way. The Boneknapper is still right behind him, but has now taken flight, readying his claws once again.
"Then, deep within the burning volcano burst forth a giant hammerhead yak! "
And suddenly, a flat-headed yak bursts out of the lava and reaches up for the Boneknappers tail.
"Okay, wait a minute...
****
Tuffnut, Ruffnut, and Snotlout are sitting in annoyed boredom, but Fishlegs still seems eagerly amused.
"Now you're telling us that a giant hammerhead yak leapt out of the fiery volcano and ate the Boneknapper?" Tuffnut says skeptically.
"You would've thought so, wouldn't you? But the dragon got away again. I knew the boney scoundrel would keep coming after me...
****
He opens a trap on the lightly snow covered ground, and looks overhead to see another trap dangling from a tree branch.
"So, I set up a gauntlet of traps, and waited for the beast,"
Gobber sits down on a small stool and reveals his lute-hand. He strums the lute, ready for the Boneknapper.
"And when he was ready... he charged!"
The boneknapper flies out of the sky, swooning down in a smooth landing as it continues to run towards Gobber on foot.
"And then I ran like the wind,"
But Gobber is just as quick, and stands hastily to make a run for his traps, trying to get the Boneknapper caught in one. But the dragon is smart, and evades the traps just as Gobber does.
"But the traps failed!"
Gobber keeps running, though this time to simply get away from the swiftly charging Boneknapper, only to find that he is trapped at the edge of the giant cliff, with a 50-foot fall in front of him and a charging dragon behind him.
The Boneknapper quickly advances on him, pinning Gobber down with its hind claws.
"Then, captured, I did what any brave Viking would do..."
"Help!" past Gobber yells.
Suddenly, just like that, out of the clouds appears Thor.
"The Gods must have heard my prayers. It was Thor!"
Gobber stares in awe.
"He tossed a mighty thunderbolt"
Thor reaches into the clouds and throws a bolt of lightning. right toward...
The ground.
"Aww, you missed," Gobber says.
"Wait for it," Thor tells him.
"Then, from the center of the earth blasted forth..."
The hole created by Thor's thunderbolt shot begins to rumble and fiery smoke bubbles forth.
Out of the hole comes the hammerhead whale with the hammerhead yak riding on its back.
"The hammerhead yak riding the hammerhead whale!"
"Deploy the yak," The hammerhead yak says.
"It can talk?" Hela questions in disbelief.
The whale shoots a burst of water through its blowhole, propelling the yak toward the Boneknapper.
The yak lands on the cliff side in from of Gobber and the Boneknapper and begins to beat up the dragon with a series of merciless kicks and punches.
The whale dives and swallows the Boneknapper -- and half the cliff side -- before diving back into the hole with the yak.
On the way down, the hammerhead animals give Gobber a friendly salute. He salutes back.
"Yes!" Gobber punches the air, cracking his back. "Oh, my back,"
****
The Viking teens are still standing in amazed disbelief peppered over with annoyance.
"Whoa, the whale saluted you?" Fishlegs asks him being the only one invested in the story.
"Can you believe it? But the Boneknapper got away again. He found me on berk... " Gobber continues to rant but Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut have had enough. They all begin to speak in a muddle of complaints.
"Are you kidding me? I don't believe in any of this" Snotlout says.
"Yeah, you totally made everything up," Tuffnut says.
"Come on, Gobber, it's time to get out of here," Ruffnut says.
"We need to get home" Snotlout.
"You don't even have proof that that thing even exists," Tuffnut breaks the muddle of complaints with a firm statement.
"Of course, I have proof, I still have the treasure, this stunning belt buckle," Gobber says as he stands and pull up the end flap of his shirt, revealing a small bone tied to the ends of two strings.
Hela has a sudden realization but she keeps it to herself until the dragon shows up if it ever shows up.
"It was in the Viking's treasure chest. Its kept up my pants for years" Gobber says.
"It is stunning" Fishlegs admits.
Dawn looks over at Hiccup and pushes him forward lightly, crossing her arms in a silent command to do something.
"Um, listen Gobber instead of chasing after an imaginary dragon maybe we should figure out how to get home," Hiccup says forgetting that Hela can take them home but she doesn't say anything wanting to see we're this goes.
"Say no more, I hear ya loud and clear. I've got a plan. Alright, who'd like to be dragon bait" Gobber says.
Everyone gasps, as Gobber points to Fishlegs, who, of course, is frightened and looks at Phil who is next to him thinking maybe Gobber was pointing to him. Phil waddles away from him.
~~~~
Fishlegs dressed in a quickly put together rendition of Gobber, with a rope beard hanging from his chin. He looks up at the hoisted dragon rib cage dangling above him.
"Um, Gobber are you sure this is safe?" Fishlegs asks.
"Safety's overrated," Gobber tells him before turning to the others, "Okay, here's the plan. The Boneknapper wants me, right? He comes down that trail, sees Fishlegs, thinks it's me, rushes Fishlegs, causing Phil to trip that rope, dropping that rib cage and then we rush in to finish him off once and for all!"
Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut stare at him blankly.
"It's sad when they get old" Snotlout whispers to Ruffnut before turning to Hiccup and Dawn, who are also just as annoyed while Hela and Astrid stand next to each other as they watch in amusement. Hela already told Astrid her theory of the Boneknapper.
"Gobber, you're taking this way too far, okay? You need to face it. There is no such thing as the Boneknapper" Hiccup tells him.
"Wormsquat! Now get into positions" Gobber says before turning to Fishlegs, "Way to go Fishlegs, you're doing fine,"
"And why are you both just standing there watching you're the eldest Hela Gobber will listen to you," Hiccup says as he and Dawn face their older sisters.
"I have a theory that I want to see if will come true" Hela says with a shrug and Astrid nods to what she said.
"Care to fill us in on your theory," Dawn asks as she folds her arms.
"Nah, we'll just watch it unfold," Astrid says she and Hela walk after Gobber and the others leaving behind their annoyed younger siblings.
~~~~
In the distance, Gobber and the other Viking teens hide behind an expanse of rocks, all muttering to themselves.
"No wonder the entire village thinks you're crazy," Hiccup says.
"Hello, he sees dead Vikings", Snotlout says next to Hiccup.
"Yeah, especially that thing about the hammerhead yak..." Tuffnut says.
As they mutter the BoneKnapper flies up and lands quietly behind them, but no one notices except for...
"Um, guys...?" Fishlegs calls out but no one hears him and Hela turned off her hearing because all this muttering and arguing was giving her a headache 'Note to self learn to focus my hearing and smell on one thing after this' she tells herself.
"This is a complete waste of time" Dawn says.
"Guys, Hello!? Turn around! Guys, GUYS!"
"WHAT" Everyone.
The Boneknapper straightens up, and the sound of his bones moving instantly gets everyone's attention. They all freeze.
"It's right behind us isn't it?" Hiccup says.
They all turn around, looking up in a terrified shock to find the Boneknapper right behind them. The dragon flexes its wings, and opens its jaw to let out what they think will be a mighty roar, but instead it's just a small squeak.
"Well, what do you know, no roar" Fishlegs says.
Hela's eyes roam the dragon's armor looking for something to conform her theory and she finds it right in the middle of it's chest.
"Run" Gobber yells.
"Wait don't" Hela says but it's too late everyone except her and Astrid run towards Fishlegs. Hela pulls Astrid towards her and covers them with her wings just as the Boneknapper breathes fire.
"Okay, Gobber we believe you" Dawn yells as they run.
The Boneknapper whips it tail, throwing a pile of bones a the Vikings, forcing them to fall where Fishlegs was standing in a jumbled pile.
Phil, still chewing his cud, trips the bone trap and send the rib cage over the Vikings.
"Phil!" Rubber yells.
Hela unfolds her wings just as the Boneknapper charges towards the others, the Vikings get up and run to stand against the ribs of the rib cage, narrowly missing the Boneknappers next blast.
"ENOUGH" Hela shouts her voice mixing with a growl. The Boneknapper's pupils form into a thin line as he moves away from the rib cage and faces Hela before bowing his head. Hiccup catches a glimpse of the dragon's chest.
"Gobber take off your pants" Hiccup suddenly says.
"Huh?"
"NO"
"Sigh, what my brother meant to say was that like Fishlegs said a Boneknapper will do anything to find the perfect bone to build it's coat of armor and maybe he's supposed to have a roar but he can't because the bone he needs is your belt buckle" Hela says as the dragon nods.
"Gobber you have to give him back his bone" Astrid tells him.
"No" Gobber says stubbornly.
"I'm not asking" Hela says as she glares at him.
"Alright fine" Gobber says before taking off the belt buckle and hands it to Hela. She walks towards the dragon and puts it perfectly on his chest.
The Boneknapper shakes his body to see if anything is loose before finally letting out a prideful roar.
"ThAnK YoU mY QuEeN" the dragon says his voice cracking this being the first time he used it before bowing again.
"You're welcome," Hela tells him with a smile. The dragon then turns to Gobber and walks toward him. Hiccup tries to get between them but Hela stops him.
Gobber looks up in worry, but quickly lets out a sigh, and stands bravely.
"Alright, you've got me make it quick" Gobber says but the Boneknapper leans down and nudges Gobber affectionately, purring like a giant skeleton cat.
And Gobber's pants -- now unbuckled -- fall down. Embarrassed, Gobber chuckles and pulls them up.
All the other Viking teens groan in disgust, covering their eyes as the initial worry and panic fades.
"That's gonna give nightmares," Hiccup says.
"At least now we have a ride home," Dawn says before they hear a yelp and laughter when they turn around they see Astrid seated on Hela's shoulders both of them laughing before Hela shifts into her first dragon form.
"That's so cool" Dawn yells as she runs towards them," Can I, um"
"Sure" Hela says almost giving the poor girl a heart attack. Astrid chuckles at the face her sister is making before giving her a hand since Hela's size has increased (AN: Think drogons size at season 7)
★★★
Phil riding the Boneknapper. Behind him, the Viking teens and Gobber. Flying next to them is Hela with Astrid and Dawn on her back.
They're finally going home.
"You know, I never doubted him. I was always like "He's right" Snotlout say with no one listening to him.
"Ow, This tailbone is hurting my tailbone" Tuffnut says.
The Boneknapper roars happily.
"He sure seems happy to have that bone back" Hiccup says.
"Well, legend says that the Boneknapper's roar is its mating call" Fishlegs says.
"Oh, that's just a myth" Gobber says before more roars are heard in the background.
"uh oh" Gobber says as four female Boneknappers join behind them.
"I think Stoick will believe me now eh" Gobber says as they approach the island of Berk.
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