Chapter 10: 10. Unknown feelings
Rose
After I crossed the portal I felt a little dizzy but not enough for me to black out, my eyes fluttered open which I didn't notice when I had closed them. I scanned my surroundings and noticed I was in a very beautiful bathroom, it looked really big and fancy, the decor was very rustic, some mint and eucalyptus plants were hanging on a wall right next to a very big mirror, the mirror was tarnished due to the fog of the running hot water. My gaze landed on a magnificent view. Right in front of me there was a man, I was facing his muscled back, he was absolutely naked behind a clear slightly tarnished crystal, he was standing under the artificial rainfall of a shower. I immediately recognized the beautifully sculpted body, it was Jesse's. his back seemed like a beautiful sculpture, his butt was high and proud, very perky which would probably cause envy to any woman who lay eyes on it, me included. His muscles were flexing at the soft movements of his arms which were repeatedly brushing his air off his forehead. I suddenly feel itchy to join him in that shower, I mean is not every day that you have a nice portal that drops you off to a naked showering Jesse after seeing an army of half naked elves (what a lucky day). I noticed his shower was coming to an end, he suddenly turned the water off and began to turn around which made me blush, DAMN that crotch isn't small. I quickly covered my completely red face in shame of myself after I shamelessly scanned every corner of that fine piece of art that his body was, however it is embarrassing when you're caught eye fucking someone.
-"perfect, now I'm seeing ghosts" Jesse said and shook his head as if he wasn't believing what he was seeing "Please, don't do this to me. We tried everything, I swear we even tried a new contract with Khaizer but nothing really worked, nothing brought you back" he said in a broken pained voice, his eyes looked like he was being tortured just by seeing me
I cocked my head to a side not understanding what he meant then my eyes met his, I realized... His eyes were red, it looked like he has been crying a lot which broke my heart to see how broken he was looking in front of me. He didn't realize I'm not dead, he believes I'm a ghost. He's still suffering for his loss and he thinks he's just lost it. Oh my poor sweet Jesse, the sight of your broken self is making my heart ache with impotence. The knowledge of not being there for him while he was suffering kills me.
-"I'm not a ghost" I said slowly walking to him, I didn't care anymore at all that he was still naked then I gently caressed his face, his swollen pink eyes closed at the feel of my touch then the ghost of a smile slowly replaced the sad look on his face "I'm real, it's me, my love...I'm alive look at me" I smiled softly as my eyes started to get watery and itchy they were burning like hell and tears wanted to fall, it was hard on me to keep them in
-"I miss you, you were not officially marked but it totally felt the same as the loss of a mark bearer, it broke us all" he whispered, his lips were trembling and his gaze was very sad to look at "I might be seeing things or even dreaming now but I will certainly treasure this moment that has never actually happened" he said still on his soft voice while hugging me tightly, my cheek rested on his smooth wet muscled chest and my hands softly caressed his tense back, trying to calm him down a bit
I suddenly heard the door open, immediately I looked on its way, I saw the shocked look of Arthrus, his eyes were also red and puffy. As soon as his shock went away he walked to us in a hurry to join the hug, I was quickly sandwiched between Jesse and Arthrus, the last one began to quietly cry.
-"wait" Jesse said then looked at Arthrus who still was hugging me tightly and silently crying "can you see her too?" He asked in surprise
-"yes I can, why?" Arthrus answered on a soft sob
-"I told you that I'm real, you just kept saying I was a ghost" I said smiling as I softly removed the tears from his eyes with my thumbs and repeated the action on Arthrus eyes, I didn't want them to keep being sad
*
It took me a while to make Jesse believe that I was real and not a ghost. Arthrus went to look for Jasper and Khaizer since Jesse didn't want to leave my side no matter what. After the guys arrived I gave them all the information I could since I woke up in the hospital after I died to how I ended back here. They were in shock for the declaration of war, Jesse was upset that I accepted Aragorn as my first mark and so were the others but none of them dared to say anything since it was my choice to live at the time.
-"I know you guys must have been sad, I'm so sorry I didn't know how to contact you guys" I said as I looked down feeling sad for them
-"do you have any idea of how useless we felt?" Khaizer was the first in breaking the silence, he looked really sad and pissed, he was no exception to the red puffy eyes "we tried everything" he looked at Arthrus hands and arms which were covered in bandages "my magic didn't work, my master...a necromancer couldn't bring the dead back and we didn't even had a body to cry on the fucking funeral since your body disintegrated after your death. I have never felt this helpless and useless while being on my masters care and I totally hate it, I hate the feeling, I don't like things I can't control, not even my blood saved you. Do you have any idea of how much we all have cried? How many times Arthrus tried to kill himself? How many times we had to force Jesse to eat? Or how many times we have taken Jasper to the clinic for collapsing?" By this time now he was, yelling at me while enraged tears freely ran from his eyes all over his cheeks. His tears were black and the spikes on his shoulders looked particularly more sharp as he kept on expressing his feelings
I couldn't hold it anymore, hearing all this was breaking my heart. I wanted to take their pain away, I wanted to reassure them that my life will not come to an end so soon and that I would love to grow old with them and give them all my heart and love for ever. Poor Jesse made himself starve, my sweet knight Jasper collapsing for over working, my gentlemanly necromancer Arthrus trying to die and Khaizer my lovely demon having feelings he didn't know how to deal with. My legs gave up on the strength and I fell on my knees crying while covering my face. I was making the men I loved sad and I totally hated it. I wanted to make their pain go away, even I would take it for myself and fill them with all my love. Let them know that I belong on their side, I won't die again, I have to live for them, for their sanity, their health and their love...
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