I don't fall in love easily, at least not that deeply. Maybe that's why it had hurt so badly to see him leave. I understood the meaning of heartache that day. My heart literally ached like there was an invisible hand gripping it hard. "It's just not working out", he said coolly. This was the same guy who had snuck out at nights to get me coffee, the same guy who leaned in and asked if he could kiss me. "You don't love me?" I asked like I couldn't comprehend his words. He stayed silent and that silence was enough to convey what was unsaid. "I will change... I won't call you all the time. I..." "Stop. Pelgyi, it really isn't you. It's just that it's not working out", he said gently. I bit my lip. I was going to cry. I cut off the call before I could cry anymore.
So this is what a heartbreak felt like.
People say that you can get over heartbreaks. Humans are designed to take emotional hits and recover. You watch all these videos and read about getting over someone. Delete photos, give away his things, get a hobby... everything will eventually become a montage of you getting better. But it didn't feel like it was something I could get over. I could never love again.
My best friend, Kinley caught me crying in the room. She didn't say a word as she hugged me and patted my back. I was glad she didn't say anything. I don't think I could have explained. I cried till I couldn't cry anymore and tried to sleep.
I saw him the next day. He couldn't look at me and when he finally met my eyes, he sheepishly smiled. It broke my heart. I left for my class as soon as I could.
"I want to forget him", I declared. Why couldn't it be like the movies? Someone gets hit on the head or meets an accident and gets amnesia. I would willingly be in an accident if it meant losing all memories of him. I couldn't bear to see his face and think of how I could never kiss those lips. I couldn't think of how I couldn't talk to him at the end of the day and tell him how much I hated the new professor. I couldn't...
Time. I needed time to get over him. I knew it but it wasn't easy. Everything would trigger me. I would hear a song and remember him. I would smell a perfume and think of him. He was everywhere. I couldn't escape.
I finally couldn't take it and desperately prayed to whatever gods, spirits or anything out there. I needed to forget. I had to. I simply had to.
Then, that night, I got a message from an unknown number:
Reply 1 to fix an appointment with the memory bottler.
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