Chapter 26: 25. Love Is Not Over
Tuesday, 24th. March. 2015
After morning class, I opted for a long run around the park. On my way home, I stopped at an organic grocery beside the market and picked up some ingredients for a salad. Some crisp iceberg lettuce, juicy tomatoes and cucumbers. Purple onion and feta cheese too.
I headed straight to the kitchen to make lunch. As I sat down at the island bench to eat, I pulled out my phone to see a message. I poked a forkful of lettuce and shoved it in my mouth as I swiped open the notification.
Yoongi: Are you busy today?
Jia: Not really. What's up?
Yoongi: Good, time to make good on your offer
Jia: kkk where are you?
Yoongi: At the agency, come by the studios later. I need your opinion on something
Jia: Alright, I'll be in by 3
Yoongi: (*´꒳`*)
Jia: (ｰ̀֊ｰ́ )✨
I'd been smiling to myself between texting and eating. It reminded me of when he'd saved his name with cute emojis. I dono why but, I just didn't expect him to text so cutely. The more I got to know Yoongi, the more I saw a soft side…
More than anything, I was curious about what he wanted my opinion on. Perhaps a song? He asked me to meet him at his studio, after all.
I cleaned up after finishing lunch, had a shower and changed into a white and light blue pleated tartan skirt that reached mid-thigh, and a light blue jumper that I tucked in around my bellybutton level.
After that, I grabbed my laptop, put it in an oversized handbag and left for the Agency. I'd forwarded a few emails with lyrics to the agency but had heard nothing back yet. So, I made a mental note to send them directly to Yoongi when I got there.
Upon arrival, the desk clerk recognized who I was and let me through. I followed the directions Yoongi had texted me to his studio on the way here. To my surprise, when I knocked on his door, Hoseok was the one that answered.
"Hey, come on in." He opened the door and stepped aside, revealing Yoongi, who'd swiveled around in his chair from the production desk and stood up.
"I was just about to call. Thought you might've gotten lost," Yoongi commented whilst grabbing a spare chair for me and rolling it over to the desk.
"It's alright, I found it. Would be near impossible to miss with the sign out front and all," I giggled, recalling the paper with 'Genius Lab' written on it.
Hoseok laughed as he went back and plopped into his chair on the other side of mine.
Yoongi raised a brow as I sat down. He pushed me up to the desk before settling back on his own seat.
"Yoongi, your studio is so cool," I hummed, the setup of the room catching my eye instantly. I took a moment to look around. The layout resembled Hoseok's but, each of theirs rang true to their individual personalities.
"Mm. I spend so much time in here, may as well be my second home" He sighed, following my gaze around the room before turning back around and clicking through the computer.
"Yoongi even got a fold out couch recently" Hoseok added, casually gesturing to the right side wall where the comfy black fabric of the couch is.
After feeling content, I turned back around, my knee lightly knocking on Hobi's. But he didn't seem to mind. Seeing as it squished me between the two at the desk, it was inevitable.
"Alright. So" Yoongi began, I echoed his 'So' questioningly. I was eager to hear what this was all about. He turned, gazing at me momentarily.
"We wanted to run a raw version of a song past you. We're uh…" he faltered, glancing at Hoseok for a moment. I noticed him give Yoongi a small reassuring nod, and so he continued on.
"We're still trying to decide whether to put it on the upcoming album." Yoongi wasn't looking directly at me. There was an unsureness in him I'd never seen before.
"Okay, I don't know if my opinion will help but.. I still really want to hear it" His shoulders relaxed at my words and he gave a faint nod before spinning around and scrolling through a list of tracks.
"Alright, here goes" His voice had dropped an octave as he clicked the song and leaned back in his chair.
The soft sound of piano followed by a beautiful voice floated through the air. I closed my eyes and listened.
The long night is following you as it flows
Time follows you and fades
Why are you getting farther away?
So far that I can't reach you?
Tell me why, you're so far away, why
Can't you see me in your eyes anymore?
Love is so painful
Goodbyes are even more painful
I can't go on if you're not here
Love me, love me
Come back to my arms
Love is not over, over, over
Love is not over, over, over
I touched my cheeks, seeing my fingertips were wet.
"Jia, you're crying?" Hobi noticed, just as I had. He turned in his chair, a softness in his gaze as he gently reached to wipe them away. The pads of his thump smoothly glide over the apples of my cheeks.
"Sorry, I don't know what came over me" I broke into a light laugh, vision blurring as I tried to smile it off. But I couldn't deny the sadness in my heart. I didn't know its origins, but, undeniably, it was there, aching.
They merely met me with a quiet, sad smile. Why were they looking at me like that?
"This song is so beautiful, it just took me by surprise," I sniffled, trying to recompose myself. Yoongi was quick to snatch a few tissues from the box on the desk and hand them to me, rolling forward slightly as he did. My mind flitted over the lyrics. A silence lay between us, so I spoke my mind..
"There's nostalgia.. A tragic romance.. A cliffhanger of emotions.." I felt a small shudder run through me. Hoseok noticed, taking off his jacket instantly and draping it over my shoulders. I thanked him, in which he offered a small, pursed lip smile before I continued to offer my feelings.
"It's a story. Time bought them together, but time also tore them apart.." I spoke slowly, carefully as I recall the lyrics of each verse, "then, there was distance.. like a forced separation. As if their love had slipped away right before their eyes. Shattering their hearts and their world. And there's no turning back."
I swallowed thickly and took a breath. Yoongi and Hoseok were listening attentively but as they saw I was struggling, Yoongi continued on my behalf.
"They needed their lover badly. Desperately. Forced to say goodbye. Forced to let them go."
"But, love is not over." I ran a hand through my hair. "This song embodies so many raw emotions. It's beautiful."
The boys exchanged an unreadable glance before Hoseok leaned back in his chair, relaxing as the tension in the room dissipated. "We're contemplating whether to use it as the hidden track."
I shook my head, smiling to myself. "Are you trying to make your fans cry? Break their hearts? How cruel~"
"Jin and Jungkook wrote the lyrics. You have them to thank for that," Yoongi mused, but quickly replaced with a deep, content sigh. "If you like it, then it's decided. This is the one."
"Hm? Wait, you're not just choosing it because I like it, right?" I questioned, but Yoongi cheekily turned around, ignoring my question and reaching for the computer mouse.
"Here, give me your tissues" Hoseok saw that I'd finished wiping my eyes and went to take them from my hand. I jumped slightly as his hand brushes against my thigh, seeing as I'd had my hand resting in my lap.
"Huh? What's wrong?" He asked, startled by my sudden movement. Throwing my tissue in the bin hastily.
"It tickles," I mumbled, rubbing my mid thigh at the place that he'd touched.
"Ohhh. Tickles, huh?" Hoseok's smile widened mischievously as his hands crept closer. Yoongi turned back around just in time to witness the gentle yet relentless attack.
"Wait!" I squirmed, reaching for his hand, trying to stop him from tickling my leg, even though it felt good.
"Oh I dono, you're pretty cute when you're struggling" Hoseok laughed, his touches soft but effective.
"Yoongi, help, pleaseeee" I pleaded between giggles, fumbling trying to grab Hoseok's hands to pull them away.
"I dono. He's got a point" Yoongi smiled so wide, eyes disappearing in happiness. Hoseok let up, and the two shared a laugh.
"You two are worse than Tae and Jimine!" I huffed, playfully slapping Hoseok's knee.
"Hey~ Don't start" he pinched my nose cutely. I rolled myself backwards away from them, causing their eyes to light up in surprise.
"Wait, where are you going?" Yoongi asked, amused.
"I'm going home. You two don't play fair. Ganging up on me," I tutted, standing and smoothing out my skirt.
"Wait, wait!" Hoseok jumped to his feet and wrapped an arm around me.
"Ah, don't go." Yoongi scrunched his face, beckoning me back over. I laughed as I joined them back at the desk. Seeing them worry gave me a sense of triumph.
The three of us spent some more time together in the studio. Somehow we stumbled across the topic of their earlier days as Idols. They recounted memories they had from back then. Apparently, they'd been more involved in the underground rap scene, and had managed a well-known hip hop club back then. When I asked which one, they both exchanged unreadable expressions and had told me there'd been an accident and it'd burned down.
Following that, they simply changed the subject back to pre-debut days. Times being some of the best they had, but not without struggles. I assumed they were referring to their hard work as idols and about trying to make a name for themselves. It's a known fact that once you debut, that's when the real challenge begins. So many groups don't even make it past the 100 day mark.
Eventually, we called it a night. Hoseok and I stepped outside first, giving Yoongi some space to tidy and lock up.
As soon as we stepped out of the building, the chill of the breeze hit me, causing a shiver. I hugged myself to shield myself from the cold.
"Jia," Hoseok called my name. I turned. He was taking off his jacket for me a second time tonight. Leaving him in the jumper he wore underneath.
"Come here," He beckoned. I hesitated. "It's freezing, c'mon." I loosened my tight hold from around myself. Hoseok gently guided my arm through the sleeve, one after the other.
"Thank you. Are you sure you will be warm enough?" I asked, the warmth and scent of him enveloping me.
"Yeah. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me" Hoseok winked, pulling the corners of the jacket together snugly around me, covering my chest from the breeze. He was so close, the intimacy bringing on a dizziness.
Our attention was pulled as Yoongi walked through the automated sliding doors of the building and caught up with us.
Hoseok took a step back as he spoke to Yoongi. "Are you ready to leave?"
"Yeah. We'll walk this one home first," Yoongi looked at me. I gave a small nod and the three of us set off at a leisurely pace.
From either side of me, the two talked casually about some details for their stage on the weekend. Despite wearing Hoseok's jacket, my hands still felt cold. I breathed warm air over them to stop them from turning numb.
As though it was nothing, and while still mid-conversation, Yoongi reached for one of my hands and shoved it into his pocket. I kept quiet, letting the cosy refuge warm my hand.
Soon enough, we reached the stairs leading up to my apartment balcony. With a small hug and wave, we parted ways. After climbing the stairs, I looked back down into the darkness of the alleyway. Still able to see their figures walking back down the street.
The night breeze whistled softly as it rolled past. Loose strands of my hair and sentiments being picked up, suspended for a moment within its hollow emptiness, before falling back into place.
They were important to me. They all were. I'd had suspicions, perhaps, of dating one of them. But as time passed, I was sure it was more than that.
These feelings were so hard to decipher. It was a constant roller coaster. But they were strong. That much I knew.
I retreated into the warmth of my apartment only to realise I was still wearing Hobi's jacket. I took it off and carefully placed it on the back of a chair as to not crinkle it.
As I was fixing it, my hand slipped into the pocket. I felt a piece of paper. Out of curiosity, I pulled it out to look.
There was a name and a number written on it.
Dr. Han Jun Pyo
010 3958 1286
A doctor? Hmm. I hope Hoseok is alright. Curiosity overtook me, so I searched the name and number, only to find that this doctor was a psychiatrist. Why would Hoseok have this… Was he receiving treatment, maybe? Or perhaps it was just a friend of his? I didn't know what to make of it.
After a moment, I tucked the paper away into my bedside draw and let it go for now. But, once I was in bed, it came back to me. It just seemed so strange, seeing as I'd never seen him acting anything but normal. Eventually I fell asleep.
Notes: I know my updates are much less.. I really wish I can update more.. my job has been everyday :'( But I love you guys and I still have a lot more of this story to come!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL <3 Thankyou for sticking with me <3 <3
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